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Something needs to be done about nightclub groping

13567…14

Comments

  • #62
    Rayne Wooney
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,134 ✭✭✭✭Rayne Wooney


    To be honest from what I've seen it's often used to initiate contact in clubs and a lot of the time the two people end up staying together for the night or going home together.

    My generation are probably not as bothered with it as it's just a thing that's been happening since these teenage discos. It's almost accepted.

    It's a strange one, some people don't mind it and for others it could really upset them. I suppose this is where the problems lies with clubs, they either ban it outright or just let it go on the way it is. It would take up a lot of time for the club taking it as a case by case basis which I don't think will happen.


  • #63
    Earthhorse
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,720 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    Before ye started going to night clubs did anyone, an older sister or friend say, warn ye about this and give you strategies for dealing with it?


  • #64
    rox5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 272 ✭✭rox5


    Gorilla Rising wrote: »
    You're exaggerating to defend your indefensible comment that it's 'harmless fun' when a woman does it. Just admit you're wrong and stop making things up.

    I've never seen nor heard of this behaviour from anyone I've encountered.

    Not saying it doesn't happen, but you're implying it's as common in comparison to what a woman does (just pinching a guys ass) and you're just plain wrong.

    I am not making things up or going to admit I am wrong because it is TRUE from what I have encountered, heard of and seen on nights out. I am not making up this stuff because this stuff is happening in nightclubs, I have seen guys get way too handsy with girls, including a friend of min who I had to drag away from a creep. I just did not think that my comment would cause this backlash so I when I realised how it sounded, I wanted to make myself more clearer.

    Because I understand it if guys don't like it, no one does, but I am just saying when it comes to selling sex in these places, it is always a female in those ads in a inappropiate photo like the Alchemy.


  • #65
    Handsome Bob
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,905 ✭✭✭✭Handsome Bob


    I have a mate who can get quite aggressive when he's drunk, literally grabbing women when they come out of the toilet. He's not a small bloke either so I can imagine how intimidating it can be.

    The sad thing is that he's actually a good looking bloke so I don't understand why he does it. He's a sound bloke too. Alcohol just does mental things to some people.


  • #66
    Merkin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    Handsome Bob wrote: »
    I have a mate who can get quite aggressive when he's drunk, literally grabbing women when they come out of the toilet. He's not a small bloke either so I can imagine how intimidating it can be.

    The sad thing is that he's actually a good looking bloke so I don't understand why he does it. He's a sound bloke too. Alcohol just does mental things to some people.

    I agree although I have no idea why people persist in drinking if they turn into a monster/a$$hole every time they do!


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  • #67
    IvyTheTerrible
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,949 ✭✭✭✭IvyTheTerrible


    Rayne Wooney wrote: »
    To be honest from what I've seen it's often used to initiate contact in clubs and a lot of the time the two people end up staying together for the night or going home together.

    My generation are probably not as bothered with it as it's just a thing that's been happening since these teenage discos. It's almost accepted.

    It's a strange one, some people don't mind it and for others it could really upset them. I suppose this is where the problems lies with clubs, they either ban it outright or just let it go on the way it is. It would take up a lot of time for the club taking it as a case by case basis which I don't think will happen.
    Getting groped is a way of initiating contact now? Ugh.


  • #68
    Chucky the tree
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,341 ✭✭✭✭Chucky the tree


    Handsome Bob wrote: »
    I have a mate who can get quite aggressive when he's drunk, literally grabbing women when they come out of the toilet. He's not a small bloke either so I can imagine how intimidating it can be.

    The sad thing is that he's actually a good looking bloke so I don't understand why he does it. He's a sound bloke too. Alcohol just does mental things to some people.



    Certainly seems so from your description...


  • #69
    kylith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,744 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    Merkin wrote: »
    I agree although I have no idea why people persist in drinking if they turn into a monster/a$$hole every time they do!

    Because they honestly don't realise how bad they are. My SiL was totally unbearable when drunk; yelling, starting fights, breaking things, but wouldn't believe it until shown a video of her behaviour.


  • #70
    Handsome Bob
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,905 ✭✭✭✭Handsome Bob


    Chucky the tree wrote: »
    Certainly seems so from your description...

    Well, the way I see it Chucky, I'm not going to judge someone too harshly for something they did when catatonic drunk over something that can best be described as incredibly out of order.


  • #71
    Chucky the tree
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,341 ✭✭✭✭Chucky the tree


    Handsome Bob wrote: »
    Well, the way I see it Chucky, I'm not going to judge someone too harshly for something they did when catatonic drunk over something that can best be described as incredibly out of order.



    If it was a once off then fair enough, no problem with that. But you make it sound like he does it often. In which case I'd call a scumbag rather than sound.


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  • #72
    meeeeh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,612 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    IvyTheTerrible wrote: »
    Getting groped is a way of initiating contact now? Ugh.
    People mentioned about schoolmate of mine that he would grope girls and if they didn't slap him, he'd start chatting to them. Black hair, blue eyes, tanned, looking like an advert for chick lit and complete arse.


  • #73
    eviltwin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Handsome Bob wrote: »
    Well, the way I see it Chucky, I'm not going to judge someone too harshly for something they did when catatonic drunk over something that can best be described as incredibly out of order.

    Have you ever talked to him about it?

    You know the guy but the women he grabs don't. If a guy comes at me I don't know if he is having the laugh or out to assault me. Either way its very intimidating. Women go out to have a good time, they shouldn't have to feel unsafe in pubs or nightclubs.


  • #74
    Handsome Bob
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,905 ✭✭✭✭Handsome Bob


    Chucky the tree wrote: »
    If it was a once off then fair enough, no problem with that. But you make it sound like he does it often. In which case I'd call a scumbag rather than sound.

    It has happened more than once, so I can see where you're coming from.

    But I still think labelling someone a scumbag is harsh, most of the people who do it are just locked fools really who have lost all sense of boundaries.
    eviltwin wrote: »
    Have you ever talked to him about it?

    You know the guy but the women he grabs don't. If a guy comes at me I don't know if he is having the laugh or out to assault me. Either way its very intimidating. Women go out to have a good time, they shouldn't have to feel unsafe in pubs or nightclubs.
    He's been spoken to but as I'm sure you're aware, some people when they're drunk just turn into a different person.

    Doesn't help that the others jokingly refer to him as the "sexual predator" and make light of it.


  • #75
    Chucky the tree
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,341 ✭✭✭✭Chucky the tree


    Handsome Bob wrote: »
    It has happened more than once, so I can see where you're coming from.

    But I still think labelling someone a scumbag is harsh, most of the people who do it are just locked fools really who have lost all sense of boundaries.


    He's been spoken to but as I'm sure you're aware, some people when they're drunk just turn into a different person.

    Doesn't help that the others jokingly refer to him as the "sexual predator" and make light of it.



    Normal people who do scummy things when drunk would curb there drinking. Using the old "he's only hammered" is a cop out tbh. If he has a sister/girlfriend would he be happy if it happened to them? Same with everyone in the group. He does it because he can get away with it, and because he feels there isn't anything wrong with it. I don't think describing him as a scumbag harsh as all.


  • #76
    gctest50
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭gctest50


    Handsome Bob wrote: »
    It has happened more than once, so I can see where you're coming from.

    Doesn't help that the others jokingly refer to him as the "sexual predator" and make light of it.

    He might want to sort it out before he picks on the wrong girl :

    Guy i know of who has a history of harassing women picked on the wrong one : he is now brain damaged


  • #77
    carrig2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 230 ✭✭carrig2


    I have been groped a few times and had my bum slapped but the worst thing by far to happen me was when someone was standing behind me in a bar one night and he rubbed his erection against me. I turned round, slapped his face and he called me a frigid cow. Worst of all when I told the manager he said, look he is ok. Must be just too much drink taken. Did nothing


  • #78
    Neeson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,909 ✭✭✭Neeson


    gctest50 wrote: »
    Guy i know of who has a history of harassing women picked on the wrong one : he is now brain damaged

    How did he end up brain damaged?


  • #79
    gctest50
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭gctest50


    He went down steps - concrete > skull


  • #80
    Wompa1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭Wompa1


    I have had a guy try to kiss me. Had a guy come up behind me and grab me. And I'm a guy myself! Those ones did ruin my night.

    Other than that I've had my junk grabbed by girls, just because.

    Also what has ruined my night. Just made me feel bad was how I have been treated a few times by women on hen nights. I have a bit of a baby face and it's like a beacon for them. Not cool :mad:


  • #81
    Rayne Wooney
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,134 ✭✭✭✭Rayne Wooney


    IvyTheTerrible wrote: »
    Getting groped is a way of initiating contact now? Ugh.

    From my view on things, between the ages of 18-25 it is, sad as it may be.


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  • #82
    Neeson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,909 ✭✭✭Neeson


    gctest50 wrote: »
    He went down steps - concrete > skull

    Well that's more to do with being drunk though. You didn't push him down the steps did you?


  • #83
    jackofalltrades
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,262 ✭✭✭jackofalltrades


    Handsome Bob wrote: »
    He's been spoken to but as I'm sure you're aware, some people when they're drunk just turn into a different person.
    Doesn't help that the others jokingly refer to him as the "sexual predator" and make light of it.
    I don't buy into this "different person" idea when people are drunk. I think you see the truest version of the vast majority of people, when they are drunk.

    The fact that it's been pointed out to him when he's sober and he continues doing it really shows his true colours.


  • #84
    gctest50
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭gctest50


    Neeson wrote: »
    Well that's more to do with being drunk though. You didn't push him down the steps did you?

    No no, i wasn't even there - the guy told me himself


  • #85
    Neeson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,909 ✭✭✭Neeson


    gctest50 wrote: »
    No no, i wasn't even there - the guy told me himself

    So he was so drunk he thought the steps were a woman? I'm confused!


  • #86
    gctest50
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭gctest50


    He assaulted her, she defended herself


  • #87
    meeeeh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,612 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    I'm guessing that either she or somebody else helped him too meet the concrete.

    Edit:
    Too late. :)


  • #88
    Neeson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,909 ✭✭✭Neeson


    gctest50 wrote: »
    He assaulted her, she defended herself

    Yeah but if she defended herself by causing him to fall down concrete steps and end up brain damaged that might be a bit too aggressive.

    How could you live with yourself after doing that? I know someone might have been fondling you but turning someone else into a brain damaged man isn't really fair.


  • #89
    hattoncracker
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,091 ✭✭✭hattoncracker


    Was out in a nightclub with a hen party a few weeks ago, a group of guys dancing near us were literally grinding all of us, it was irritating and really uncomfortable because even if they stopped for a few minutes you knew they'd be back a couple of minutes later and they just wouldn't piss off! I was assaulted previously and I just freeze when I get touched by strange men now so it completely ruined my evening. Assholes.


  • #90
    meeeeh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,612 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    Neeson wrote: »
    Yeah but if she defended herself by causing him to fall down concrete steps and end up brain damaged that might be a bit too aggressive.

    How could you live with yourself after doing that? I know someone might have been fondling you but turning someone else into a brain damaged man isn't really fair.

    No it's not. But it could be someone's instinctive reaction to push the guy/girl away. If you play with fire...


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  • #91
    Neeson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,909 ✭✭✭Neeson


    meeeeh wrote: »
    No it's not. But it could be someone's instinctive reaction to push the guy/girl away. If you play with fire...

    Yeah. I suppose this little story might serve as warning to all the people thinking about hitting back hard!


This discussion has been closed.
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