Good excuses for cancelling arrangements

YellowFeather · 22-05-2013 08:01PM #1

I know - honesty is the best policy. But, it's not very nice to tell somebody that you can't make it out because you'd rather spend the night at home making finger puppets out of old socks. Alone. With no internet connection or phone. Or electricity or candles. Or old socks.

I need to get out of an arrangement with a family member. It's not for another week and a bit, but I'd rather tell them as soon as possible that I can't make it, rather than leaving it to the last minute (would be unfair). I'm not particularly comfortable with killing people off (for my excuse - not actually killing them).

If anybody comes up with an excuse that I can use, I will genuinely send you some form of finger puppet or write you a poem - your choice.

Ihatecuddles-old · 22-05-2013 08:01PM

Youre broke/sick/bad back/have to work?

paulmclaughlin · 22-05-2013 08:02PM

"I need to walk my fish."

The Backwards Man · 22-05-2013 08:02PM

I want a finger puppet AND a poem.:(

KeithM89 · 22-05-2013 08:02PM

Tell them you have explosive diarrhea.

The Queen of England · 22-05-2013 08:04PM

"I can't make it. I broke my banjo string ripping shreds up the canal of a tight holed ass virgin".

keelanj69 · 22-05-2013 08:05PM

Youre expecting a call from work/social welfare/ hospital and youd rather not miss it?

Or youre expecting someone to ask you to mind their child/ dog/ fish. But they didnt need you the bástards. They only told you last minute and ruined your plans.

JustAThought · 22-05-2013 08:08PM

Well if It's Something They've taken the
Time to organise with you well in advance Maybe your Company means something to Them! Or they'd like to build an occasional contact relationship/friendship.

Sure if you 've absolutely nothing else
To Do why don't you try it & give them a chance! Or at least a half hour.

If it wasn't Too Much of a Commute/expense for you both you could try going & then having to duck Home cos you have UPS guy coming / electrician /plumber calling back at X pm to do a fonal fix urgent of Y; have to give lift to old person to something special etc.

If you Randomly cancel in advance they will just Try to re-make the appointment for another day! Face your deamons! Might make great Sock puppet materials for Another night!

Panthro · 22-05-2013 08:09PM

Say for a work situation...

Ring the Boss and say:
You: “Hi Boss, I don’t think I can work today”
Boss: “Why not?”
You: “Because I think I’m schizophrenic!”
Boss: “No you’re not!”
You: “You’re right, I’m not…
(Pause a few seconds…then deepen your voice and slowly say)
You:…”But I am….”

Boss: “Arrrggghh!”:eek:

Boom. Day off.

eirator · 22-05-2013 08:11PM

Tell them you have a premonition .......

dgt · 22-05-2013 08:11PM

"I'm sorry, I can't. My girlfriend wants a threesome"

The Queen of England · 22-05-2013 08:11PM

Panthro wrote: »

Say for a work situation...

Ring the Boss and say:
You: “Hi Boss, I don’t think I can work today”
Boss: “Why not?”
You: “Because I think I’m schizophrenic!”
Boss: “No you’re not!”
You: “You’re right, I’m not…
(Pause a few seconds…then deepen your voice and slowly say)
You:…”But I am….”

Boss: “Arrrggghh!”:eek:

Boom. Day off.

I think you're confusing schizophrenia with multiple personality disorder.

hfallada · 22-05-2013 08:13PM

Sorry I have period pain or the best is I have sudden bowel movements. The answer is always that fine buts it allows good to follow up with "i cant remember when I ate sweetcorn"

I am pie · 22-05-2013 08:13PM

tell them you found a safe in the garden of your house, you think there might be some 20 year old pot noodles in there.

they´ll understand.

YellowFeather · 22-05-2013 08:15PM

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

Youre broke/sick/bad back/have to work?

Yeah - all good and I could have to use the have to work excuse, but I do want to give them some advance notice. It's something that's been arranged for a while (that I was fairly strong armed into), but I have a ticket for it, so I could happily offer the ticket to somebody else if this person had the advance notice to arrange for somebody else to come.

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I want a finger puppet AND a poem.:(

Well get with making the excuses so! :P

Scylla wrote: »

Tell them you have explosive diarrhea.

Nah. I mean, I probably couldn't tell them that a week in advance. And, even if I could... nah.

The Queen of England wrote: »

"I can't make it. I broke my banjo string ripping shreds up the canal of a tight holed ass virgin".

I don't have a banjo string. Have a recorder from primary school if that's any use.

kfallon · 22-05-2013 08:16PM

"Yeah, I've been called into work that weekend, we can't get the stuff done during the week cos we need to maintain daily output so have to wait til the weekend when the office/factory is empty to test out the new system. Fooking balls it's on the weekend, was really looking forward to seeing ye again!"

Alternatively ring up on the morning, "Jaysus I've been on the bog all night, arse is like an angry dot, feels like I'm shítting thru the eye of a needle, nearly tarmaced the back of the jax!"

Either will work!

YellowFeather · 22-05-2013 08:17PM

eirator wrote: »

Tell them you have a premonition .......

I actually really like this... Bonus points in that maybe I'll scare them away for ever at the same time as getting out of this flipping night!

Cee-Jay-Cee · 22-05-2013 08:19PM

Cancelling last minute is more realistic. Ring/text them the a few hours before your due to meet and before they've left their house and tell them you had a dodgy chicken curry the night before and have spent all morning in the jacks and that your ass stomach and head are pretty delicate and your afraid to leave the toilet.

WoollyRedHat · 22-05-2013 08:21PM

YellowFeather wrote: »

Yeah - all good and I could have to use the have to work excuse, but I do want to give them some advance notice. It's something that's been arranged for a while (that I was fairly strong armed into), but I have a ticket for it, so I could happily offer the ticket to somebody else if this person had the advance notice to arrange for somebody else to come.

Well get with making the excuses so! :P

Nah. I mean, I probably couldn't tell them that a week in advance. And, even if I could... nah.

I don't have a banjo string. Have a recorder from primary school if that's any use.

If you have a recorder then surely you have a banjo string.

Are we being literal here? Anyone want some tea?

Derpington95 · 22-05-2013 08:23PM

The Queen of England wrote: »

"I can't make it. I broke my banjo string ripping shreds up the canal of a tight holed ass virgin".

1/20

IM0 · 22-05-2013 08:24PM

"Im sorry I cant go, I dont like you anymore"

the benefit of this one is it only needs to be said once for future meetings as the excuse is are already noted, understood, and deemed sufficient to not even have to ask you so then you dont have to repeat it

Hownowcow · 22-05-2013 08:24PM

I don't love you any more.

*Get's you out of a lot of stuff.

The Backwards Man · 22-05-2013 08:28PM

Say you promised me you'd go out with me instead. I'll corroborate.

Hunter Mahan · 22-05-2013 08:31PM

Tell them you have scabies but you're not bothered about going to the doctor then ask if you can sleep over afterwards.

Sit back and wait for them to cancel the plans.

wilkie2006 · 22-05-2013 08:45PM

JustAThought wrote: »

Well if It's Something They've taken the
Time to organise with you eel in advance
Maybe your Company means something to Them! Or they'd like to build an occasional contact relationship/friendship.

Sure if you 'be absolutely nothing Elso
To Do why don't you try it & give them a chance! Or at least a half hour.

If it wasn't
Too Much of a Commute/expense for you both you could try going
& then having to duck Home cos you have UPS guy coming / electrician /plumber calling back at X pm to do a fonal fix urgent of Y; have to give lift to old person to something special etc.

If you Randomly cancel in advance they will just Try to re-make the appointment for another day! Face your deamons! Might make great Sock puppet materials for Another night!

You got things mixed up; the OP offered YOU a poem for your advice...

YellowFeather · 22-05-2013 08:55PM

CJC999 wrote: »

Cancelling last minute is more realistic. Ring/text them the a few hours before your due to meet and before they've left their house and tell them you had a dodgy chicken curry the night before and have spent all morning in the jacks and that your ass stomach and head are pretty delicate and your afraid to leave the toilet.

I know - last minute is so much handier! I'm looking for something that I can give a bit of advance notice for - and it ain't easy. There has to be something out there though! I'd usually use eye infections for last minute excuses.

IM0 wrote: »

"Im sorry I cant go, I dont like you anymore"

the benefit of this one is it only needs to be said once for future meetings as the excuse is are already noted, understood, and deemed sufficient to not even have to ask you so then you dont have to repeat it

I don't think I could use those exact words. Looking for something a bit nicer. Like, my newly acquired conjoined twin doesn't like you anymore and she won't let me come out (but maybe a bit more realistic, 'cause I haven't recently acquired a conjoined twin). Hmmm... Yet...

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Say you promised me you'd go out with me instead. I'll corroborate.

Well now - I''m seeing potential. Can I give them your number??

Hunter Mahan wrote: »

Tell them you have scabies but you're not bothered about going to the doctor then ask if you can sleep over afterwards.

Sit back and wait for them to cancel the plans.

Liking this one too. Actually, this would be a great date-escaper.

YellowFeather · 22-05-2013 09:00PM

Hownowcow wrote: »

I don't love you any more.

IrishExpat · 22-05-2013 09:01PM

"I have to return some videotapes."

The Backwards Man · 22-05-2013 09:04PM

Well now - I''m seeing potential. Can I give them your number??

Yes, yes you can. The lengths I would go to for a finger puppet and poetry are extraordinary.

jackpension · 22-05-2013 09:10PM

Sorry, but I can't do anything for the next few hours. I am allowing my food to digest. You can never play it too safe!

jackpension · 22-05-2013 09:15PM

I promised to help Ashley clean the toilet at the same time. She doesn't like doing it alone; she gets nervous that she will fall in! Some kind of toilet phobia(a weird name I can't remember for some reason...)

Good excuses for cancelling arrangements

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