Why are the Irish so obsessed with funerals?

Duckworth_Luas · 30-04-2013 02:14PM

krudler wrote: »

My grandfather died in 2008, and in the funeral home we were standing there doing the shaking hands thing, when this absolute weirdo arrived in who nobody knew going around telling everyone he was sorry for our loss.
Anyway, once they were moving the casket to the church we were walking behind and there he was right at the front with my uncles and myself a few other close relatives, saying how my grandad was a"great man", one of my uncles asked him who he was then told him promptly to fcuk off once it became clear he didnt even know my grandad, he's just some weirdo who goes to funerals as a hobby, even though he doesnt know the deceased. What a bizarre way to spend your free time

Sounds like a local Fianna Fail TD!

April O Neill · 30-04-2013 02:15PM

krudler wrote: »

I dunno there's one person in my extended family nobody will miss, it annoys me how hypocritical people get when death is involved, someone who's an absolute prick in life deserves respect in death? don't think so.

Yeah, I have an uncle who's funeral I won't bother attending when his time comes. Awful, awful person. I don't always feel sad about people dying. I'm sure lots of people secretly feel the same. It's kinda taboo.

stan99 · 30-04-2013 02:17PM

it,s the soup

April O Neill · 30-04-2013 02:18PM

Thrill wrote: »

Neither did you.A long line of cars behind a slow moving hearse doesn't mean they are all on the way to the funeral. A lot of people wont overtake a hearse during a funeral.

We had some guy weave in and out of the funeral cortege at my grandmother's funeral last year. The last place he weaved in was right behind the hearse! :eek: I don't really care if you're inconvenienced, that is the height of rudeness. :mad:

Aglomerado · 30-04-2013 02:19PM

April O Neill wrote: »

Yeah, I have an uncle who's funeral I won't bother attending when his time comes. Awful, awful person. I don't always feel sad about people dying. I'm sure lots of people secretly feel the same. It's kinda taboo.

Definitely. One of my uncles died in 2007 and I didn't go to the funeral, never liked the man so I didn't feel like I belonged with the mourners.

April O Neill · 30-04-2013 02:19PM

ProudDUB wrote: »

That being said, there was a huge turnout at both my parents funerals, and my siblings and I drew great comfort from that.

Bingo.

You might wonder why so many people go to funerals, but when it's your own loved one, it can be very touching that people bothered to take the time out of their day.

ProudDUB wrote: »

My aunt passed away during one of the big blizzard snow storms of 2010, and there was hardly anyone at hers.

My aunt's repose at the funeral home was on a night that it was -5 degrees. 5000 people still came! :eek:

April O Neill · 30-04-2013 02:22PM

mike65 wrote: »

I got caught enough times when I was a commercial driver to know they were common enough to be a nuisance!

Yes, you probably lost a whole five minutes.

who the fug · 30-04-2013 02:22PM

One thing I notice when I was a altar boy, made more money out of a funeral than a wedding or a christening.

OVerheard some second generation Irish in a pub in London, comparing the way things are done in Ireland and in London and they much preferred the Irish solution

Son Of A Vidic · 30-04-2013 02:22PM

Clareboy wrote: »

Why are the Irish so obsessed with funerals?

You tell me OP, I'm just dying to know.

irishgrover · 30-04-2013 02:35PM

minotour wrote: »

Victoria Coren stumbled upon a group whose sole purpose was to gatecrash funerals because of the free grub and sparce challenge. perhaps we need to do something similar here to weed out the fraudsters

story here - http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/mar/21/victoria-coren-jolley-gang

as an aside, I think she married David Mitchell recently, imagine that pillow talk

Wow, interesting and weird article with great end! Thanks for posting

mike65 · 30-04-2013 02:41PM

April O Neill wrote: »

Yes, you probably lost a whole five minutes.

If you had any understanding of the job you would know how important 5 minutes can be.

fishy fishy · 30-04-2013 02:52PM

Clareboy wrote: »

I have often wondered why Irish people are so obsessed with funerals Shopping. I live near a church shop and the crowds and traffic that gather for funerals groceries is truly unbelievable. One day, the town had practically come to a standstill during a funeral national holiday and I asked this lady in a car on route to the cemetery shop" when is the famine " and believe it or not, she did not know! Funeral going Shopping seems to be some kind of national obsession and I often wondered where it comes from and what's the point of it all?

FYP

to answer your original posting - it is tradition.

Agricola · 30-04-2013 03:34PM

It's a whole lots of issues rolled into one. Partly catholic guilt / a throwback to the old days. Lots of people are riddled with it, despite they fact many of them are not really catholics in any meaningful way. The thing about going to funerals of people you barely know.... in the context of older people a lot of it seems to be a day out of the house and a free meal. For younger people, theres this requirement to represent your family. If the young person knew the 3rd cousin of the deceased's butcher, then theres some need to go along and show your respect.
I think the biggest thing about it, certainly in rural Ireland anyway, is popularity. Big funeral = you were popular. Small funeral = you were nobody. This equation frightens the life out of people, who then make it their business to attend as many funerals as possible, thus increasing their chances of having that courtesy paid back to them when they kick the bucket.

Chuck Stone · 30-04-2013 03:40PM

krudler wrote: »

My grandfather died in 2008, and in the funeral home we were standing there doing the shaking hands thing, when this absolute weirdo arrived in who nobody knew going around telling everyone he was sorry for our loss.

Sounds like a total casket-case.

/runs.

Madam · 30-04-2013 03:41PM

But, but but......... It's tradition;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRdfX7ut8gw

Clareboy · 30-04-2013 08:12PM

Thrill wrote: »

Neither did you.

A long line of cars behind a slow moving hearse doesn't mean they are all on the way to the funeral. A lot of people wont overtake a hearse during a funeral.

Just to clarify, this particular road is a cul-de-sac and leads only to the cemetery. The lady in question was at the funeral, but she did not know the name of the deceased.

Nabber · 30-04-2013 08:15PM

R.I.P

Clareboy · 30-04-2013 08:17PM

fishy fishy wrote: »

FYP

to answer your original posting - it is tradition.

Its a tradition that is pointless and highly hypocritical. In other words, people who would not even look at you when you are alive will turn up at your funeral and say what a great person you were.

Dionysius2 · 30-04-2013 08:21PM

Clareboy wrote: »

The whole Irish funeral ritual shows what a nation of hypocrites the Irish really are. Many elderly people live out a lonely and isolated existence, but when they are dead, thousands will turn up to ' pay their respects'. What a joke!

" Give me flowers, when I can smell them "

Likewise the Mass attendance thing. It's not the fact of attendance but being seen to attend that's important. Sometime we will be mature enough to shed that view.

Nabber · 30-04-2013 08:21PM

Hypocritical it ain't for some. It's about guilt. Knowing they did nothing for the deceased, and never will get a chance to change their selfish ways.

Clareboy · 30-04-2013 08:22PM

Yakult wrote: »

Well done on your survey. One whole person! Speaks for hundreds.

Now, I can assume the reason most people go to these, is because they know the person some way or another and want to pay respects to said dead person.

National obsession my hole.

I just gave that particular incident as an example of the codology that goes on in this country when someone dies.

Mr Tibbs · 30-04-2013 08:26PM

I don't know whats wrong with Irish people today, you cant die but somebody finds a reason to criticize you.

Thrill · 30-04-2013 08:32PM

Clareboy wrote: »

Just to clarify, this particular road is a cul-de-sac and leads only to the cemetery. The lady in question was at the funeral, but she did not know the name of the deceased.

I can only assume that she wanted to see who was so popular that the whole town was brought almost to a standstill for the funeral.

Nosy cow.

HemlockOption · 30-04-2013 08:37PM

80% voyeurism

Rastadoyle · 30-04-2013 08:48PM

the famine is to blame

Sunhill · 30-04-2013 08:58PM

I couldn't count how many times I have been nearly mown down while on the way to a funeral Mass by drivers rushing AWAY from the church. They are the people who turn up at the church 20 minutes before time and shake hands with the family. Since these mourners are in the front seat they can't see where the sympathisers go afterwards and assume they have taken a seat among the congregation. So the mourners think these people have been with them for the whole Mass whereas they have actually only spent two minutes in the church before rushing away without even saying a prayer.

ToddyDoody · 30-04-2013 09:08PM

Clareboy wrote: »

I have often wondered why Irish people are so obsessed with funerals. I live near a church and the crowds and traffic that gather for funerals is truly unbelievable. One day, the town had practically come to a standstill during a funeral and I asked this lady in a car on route to the cemetery " who is dead " and believe it or not, she did not know the person who had died! Funeral going seems to be some kind of national obsession and I often wondered where it comes from and what's the point of it all?

I try to get to three a week.

byhookorbycrook · 30-04-2013 09:17PM

If anyone of you have lost close relatives, you may have found that the whole wake/funeral thing and meeting people has helped. I have done the all-night vigil with close relatives, where we sat and remembered and laughed and cried. It's a show of support at a time of crisis.

There is a bit of a throw back to times when people were buried in famine pits with re-usable coffins and no-one to mourn them, older people often fear that no-one will turn up for their funerals and try to go to as many as possible to ensure the "favour" is returned.

oppenheimer1 · 30-04-2013 09:52PM

Clareboy wrote: »

The whole Irish funeral ritual shows what a nation of hypocrites the Irish really are. Many elderly people live out a lonely and isolated existence, but when they are dead, thousands will turn up to ' pay their respects'. What a joke!

" Give me flowers, when I can smell them "

No they don't. There are plenty of funerals where no one turns up.

Large funerals are of those that are well known in the community, or whose son or daughter is a prominent member of the community.

Fedupguessing · 30-04-2013 10:16PM

I've told my family, I want to be wrapped up and dumped in the sea.

Why are the Irish so obsessed with funerals?

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