Why are the Irish so obsessed with funerals?

Clareboy

I have often wondered why Irish people are so obsessed with funerals. I live near a church and the crowds and traffic that gather for funerals is truly unbelievable. One day, the town had practically come to a standstill during a funeral and I asked this lady in a car on route to the cemetery " who is dead " and believe it or not, she did not know the person who had died! Funeral going seems to be some kind of national obsession and I often wondered where it comes from and what's the point of it all?

theteal

free sambos!

dastardly00

You have great craic at a funeral.... well afterwards anyway!

DjFlin

It's called showing respect, ye bloody whippersnapper.

wandatowell

DamoKen

Clareboy wrote: »

what's the point of it all?

you won't be saying that when it's your funeral......

Clareboy

theteal wrote: »

free sambos!

The ' free sambos ' are only for the privileged few!

Clareboy

DamoKen wrote: »

you won't be saying that when it's your funeral......

Unfortunately, I won't be around to enjoy it!

VinLieger

Its an excuse to go boozing for the day obviously

mike65

Its a ritual from the old days, before motorways it was common to see a National route brought to a standstill for a funeral cortège, could jam the traffic for 30 minutes or more. Outrageous behaviour all things considered. It's like an imposition.

DamoKen

Clareboy wrote: »

Unfortunately, I won't be around to enjoy it!

hence you won't be saying...etc

Aglomerado

I don't get it either. My parents are always off to some funeral or another. So much so, that I bought this tshirt from Hairy Baby "you'll never guess who's dead" to wear on trips home.

I think with some families, they think the more funerals you attend the more will come to yours. I've often heard people say "He had a very bad funeral" - meaning there were not many people at it.

I only go if it's a relation or someone whose family I know very well. My parents admonish me for not going to more funerals, that there'll be no-one at mine, but my excuse is, "They're dead already, so how can they come to my future funeral?". :pac:

Clareboy

The whole Irish funeral ritual shows what a nation of hypocrites the Irish really are. Many elderly people live out a lonely and isolated existence, but when they are dead, thousands will turn up to ' pay their respects'. What a joke!

" Give me flowers, when I can smell them "

looking_around

Personally, I don't like funerals, even when for someone I know. I rather remember them my own way and not in a crowded church. But my Da is always going to them. His reason "you have to. The person, was a mate of mates, brother's, boss's, wife's best friend"

>_>

krudler

My grandfather died in 2008, and in the funeral home we were standing there doing the shaking hands thing, when this absolute weirdo arrived in who nobody knew going around telling everyone he was sorry for our loss.
Anyway, once they were moving the casket to the church we were walking behind and there he was right at the front with my uncles and myself a few other close relatives, saying how my grandad was a"great man", one of my uncles asked him who he was then told him promptly to fcuk off once it became clear he didnt even know my grandad, he's just some weirdo who goes to funerals as a hobby, even though he doesnt know the deceased. What a bizarre way to spend your free time

tallus

It's not just an Irish thing..death is universal.

I dread the day when the death of a family member isn't worth getting upset over.

Shapey Fiend

My grandmother never went to many funerals and then had like 800 turn up at hers. It's unusual alright.

Figure it's meant to be more for the people left behind than the person themselves. Healthy way to grieve. Let's everyone meet up with old friends, have some craic and share some stories so the immediate family aren't left on their own to brood over their loss too much.

Mardy Bum

Two reasons:
Tight knit communities and an insular population.

krudler

tallus wrote: »

It's not just an Irish thing..death is universal.

I dread the day when the death of a family member isn't worth getting upset over.

I dunno there's one person in my extended family nobody will miss, it annoys me how hypocritical people get when death is involved, someone who's an absolute prick in life deserves respect in death? don't think so.

Crooked Jack

It's almost as if families, friends and communities care for their dead and want to give them a fitting send off, say goodbye and perhaps reach some sort of closure of their own. The fools.

Frecklefart90

How did so many people miss the point?

The OP asked why do people go to funerals who dont know the person who died. Its very strange alright, i cant imagine going to someones funeral if i didnt know them or any of the immediate family very well.

crockholm

krudler wrote: »

I dunno there's one person in my extended family nobody will miss, it annoys me how hypocritical people get when death is involved, someone who's an absolute prick in life deserves respect in death? don't think so.

It's more for the deceased person's family that the stiff himself often.Just part of a long atavistic tradition.



I had a cnut of a relation,whose funeral mass was on St.Patricks day,gold cup day. She was a pioneer to boot,and I had to carry this dried turd on my shoulder when I should have been out carrying a gallon of porter in my gut.Thems the breaks.

Sauve

crockholm wrote: »

I had a cnut of a relation,whose funeral mass was on St.Patricks day,gold cup day. She was a pioneer to boot,and I had to carry this dried turd on my shoulder when I should have been out carrying a gallon of porter in my gut.Thems the breaks.

Would it not have been more respectful to refuse to carry the coffin or attend the funeral than do it with such a bitter attitude?

Con Logue

Sauve wrote: »

Would it not have been more respectful to refuse to carry the coffin or attend the funeral than do it with such a bitter attitude?

Passive aggression. It's bred into us and reinforced through the arbitrary exercise of authority by authority figures. The real Irish rebellion

crockholm

Sauve wrote: »

Would it not have been more respectful to refuse to carry the coffin or attend the funeral than do it with such a bitter attitude?

I think that if that was an option,no-one would have done it and she would be left where she was found.Sometimes in life,you gotta grin and bear it.

Thrill

Clareboy wrote: »

One day, the town had practically come to a standstill during a funeral and I asked this lady in a car on route to the cemetery " who is dead " and believe it or not, she did not know the person who had died!

Neither did you.

A long line of cars behind a slow moving hearse doesn't mean they are all on the way to the funeral. A lot of people wont overtake a hearse during a funeral.

ProudDUB

Aglomerado wrote: »

I only go if it's a relation or someone whose family I know very well. My parents admonish me for not going to more funerals, that there'll be no-one at mine, but my excuse is, "They're dead already, so how can they come to my future funeral?". :pac:

That is genuinely one of the funniest thing that I have ever read. What a very Irish thing to want your kid to do.

That being said, there was a huge turnout at both my parents funerals, and my siblings and I drew great comfort from that. Dunno how many were genuine gawkers or genuine mourners, but they both passed away & were buried over a bank holiday weekend, so I'd imagine most of them were legit.

My aunt passed away during one of the big blizzard snow storms of 2010, and there was hardly anyone at hers. I know her kids found that hard. It was understandable, as most of their mothers friends & contemporaries were elderly, and were terrified about venturing out in the snow, and possibly breaking a hip. They understood in a cerebral kind of a way, but I know that the practically empty church and the deserted upstairs room of the pub that they booked for afterwards, really weighed heavy on them at the time. They were pathetically grateful to the few people that did show up, who ironically, were people who barely knew my aunt at all. They all lived near the church. I heard one of them say later, that they only went as they reckoned it would be a very, very low turn out due to the weather. So don't knock people who go to funerals even if they didn't know the deceased well. You just never know how there being there may affect the bereaved.

Yakult

Clareboy wrote: »

I have often wondered why Irish people are so obsessed with funerals. I live near a church and the crowds and traffic that gather for funerals is truly unbelievable. One day, the town had practically come to a standstill during a funeral and I asked this lady in a car on route to the cemetery " who is dead " and believe it or not, she did not know the person who had died! Funeral going seems to be some kind of national obsession and I often wondered where it comes from and what's the point of it all?

Well done on your survey. One whole person! Speaks for hundreds.

Now, I can assume the reason most people go to these, is because they know the person some way or another and want to pay respects to said dead person.

National obsession my hole.

April O Neill

mike65 wrote: »

Its a ritual from the old days, before motorways it was common to see a National route brought to a standstill for a funeral cortège, could jam the traffic for 30 minutes or more. Outrageous behaviour all things considered. It's like an imposition.

Not really, it'd be rare enough. Funeral corteges don't tend to go places at rush hour anyway.

mike65

I got caught enough times when I was a commercial driver to know they were common enough to be a nuisance!

minotour

Victoria Coren stumbled upon a group whose sole purpose was to gatecrash funerals because of the free grub and sparce challenge. perhaps we need to do something similar here to weed out the fraudsters


story here - http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/mar/21/victoria-coren-jolley-gang

as an aside, I think she married David Mitchell recently, imagine that pillow talk

Duckworth_Luas

krudler wrote: »

My grandfather died in 2008, and in the funeral home we were standing there doing the shaking hands thing, when this absolute weirdo arrived in who nobody knew going around telling everyone he was sorry for our loss.
Anyway, once they were moving the casket to the church we were walking behind and there he was right at the front with my uncles and myself a few other close relatives, saying how my grandad was a"great man", one of my uncles asked him who he was then told him promptly to fcuk off once it became clear he didnt even know my grandad, he's just some weirdo who goes to funerals as a hobby, even though he doesnt know the deceased. What a bizarre way to spend your free time

Sounds like a local Fianna Fail TD!

April O Neill

krudler wrote: »

I dunno there's one person in my extended family nobody will miss, it annoys me how hypocritical people get when death is involved, someone who's an absolute prick in life deserves respect in death? don't think so.

Yeah, I have an uncle who's funeral I won't bother attending when his time comes. Awful, awful person. I don't always feel sad about people dying. I'm sure lots of people secretly feel the same. It's kinda taboo.

stan99

it,s the soup

April O Neill

Thrill wrote: »

Neither did you.A long line of cars behind a slow moving hearse doesn't mean they are all on the way to the funeral. A lot of people wont overtake a hearse during a funeral.

We had some guy weave in and out of the funeral cortege at my grandmother's funeral last year. The last place he weaved in was right behind the hearse! :eek: I don't really care if you're inconvenienced, that is the height of rudeness. :mad:

Aglomerado

April O Neill wrote: »

Yeah, I have an uncle who's funeral I won't bother attending when his time comes. Awful, awful person. I don't always feel sad about people dying. I'm sure lots of people secretly feel the same. It's kinda taboo.

Definitely. One of my uncles died in 2007 and I didn't go to the funeral, never liked the man so I didn't feel like I belonged with the mourners.

April O Neill

ProudDUB wrote: »

That being said, there was a huge turnout at both my parents funerals, and my siblings and I drew great comfort from that.

Bingo.

You might wonder why so many people go to funerals, but when it's your own loved one, it can be very touching that people bothered to take the time out of their day.

ProudDUB wrote: »

My aunt passed away during one of the big blizzard snow storms of 2010, and there was hardly anyone at hers.

My aunt's repose at the funeral home was on a night that it was -5 degrees. 5000 people still came! :eek:

April O Neill

mike65 wrote: »

I got caught enough times when I was a commercial driver to know they were common enough to be a nuisance!

Yes, you probably lost a whole five minutes.

who the fug

One thing I notice when I was a altar boy, made more money out of a funeral than a wedding or a christening.

OVerheard some second generation Irish in a pub in London, comparing the way things are done in Ireland and in London and they much preferred the Irish solution

Son Of A Vidic

Clareboy wrote: »

Why are the Irish so obsessed with funerals?

You tell me OP, I'm just dying to know.

irishgrover

minotour wrote: »

Victoria Coren stumbled upon a group whose sole purpose was to gatecrash funerals because of the free grub and sparce challenge. perhaps we need to do something similar here to weed out the fraudsters


story here - http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/mar/21/victoria-coren-jolley-gang

as an aside, I think she married David Mitchell recently, imagine that pillow talk

Wow, interesting and weird article with great end! Thanks for posting

mike65

April O Neill wrote: »

Yes, you probably lost a whole five minutes.

If you had any understanding of the job you would know how important 5 minutes can be.

fishy fishy

Clareboy wrote: »

I have often wondered why Irish people are so obsessed with funerals Shopping. I live near a church shop and the crowds and traffic that gather for funerals groceries is truly unbelievable. One day, the town had practically come to a standstill during a funeral national holiday and I asked this lady in a car on route to the cemetery shop" when is the famine " and believe it or not, she did not know! Funeral going Shopping seems to be some kind of national obsession and I often wondered where it comes from and what's the point of it all?

FYP

to answer your original posting - it is tradition.

Agricola

It's a whole lots of issues rolled into one. Partly catholic guilt / a throwback to the old days. Lots of people are riddled with it, despite they fact many of them are not really catholics in any meaningful way. The thing about going to funerals of people you barely know.... in the context of older people a lot of it seems to be a day out of the house and a free meal. For younger people, theres this requirement to represent your family. If the young person knew the 3rd cousin of the deceased's butcher, then theres some need to go along and show your respect.
I think the biggest thing about it, certainly in rural Ireland anyway, is popularity. Big funeral = you were popular. Small funeral = you were nobody. This equation frightens the life out of people, who then make it their business to attend as many funerals as possible, thus increasing their chances of having that courtesy paid back to them when they kick the bucket.

Chuck Stone

krudler wrote: »

My grandfather died in 2008, and in the funeral home we were standing there doing the shaking hands thing, when this absolute weirdo arrived in who nobody knew going around telling everyone he was sorry for our loss.

Sounds like a total casket-case.




/runs.

Madam

But, but but......... It's tradition;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRdfX7ut8gw

Clareboy

Thrill wrote: »

Neither did you.

A long line of cars behind a slow moving hearse doesn't mean they are all on the way to the funeral. A lot of people wont overtake a hearse during a funeral.

Just to clarify, this particular road is a cul-de-sac and leads only to the cemetery. The lady in question was at the funeral, but she did not know the name of the deceased.

Nabber

R.I.P

Clareboy

fishy fishy wrote: »

FYP

to answer your original posting - it is tradition.

Its a tradition that is pointless and highly hypocritical. In other words, people who would not even look at you when you are alive will turn up at your funeral and say what a great person you were.

Dionysius2

Clareboy wrote: »

The whole Irish funeral ritual shows what a nation of hypocrites the Irish really are. Many elderly people live out a lonely and isolated existence, but when they are dead, thousands will turn up to ' pay their respects'. What a joke!

" Give me flowers, when I can smell them "

Likewise the Mass attendance thing. It's not the fact of attendance but being seen to attend that's important. Sometime we will be mature enough to shed that view.

Nabber

Hypocritical it ain't for some. It's about guilt. Knowing they did nothing for the deceased, and never will get a chance to change their selfish ways.