Do you agree with The All Homophobes are secretly Gay theory

Sarky · 26-04-2013 01:34PM

The loudest ones, probably. Every other week you seem to have some leading figure in homophobia end up admitting he's gay, or getting caught in Thailand with a half-dozen rent boys.

The rest are most likely just f*cking stupid. Never attribute to malice etc.

The Queen of England · 26-04-2013 01:36PM

I luv lesbos.

1ZRed · 26-04-2013 01:42PM

I don't agree with the theory that all homophobes are secretly gay. I do believe however that there is something there, maybe not an outright attraction to even make them bi, let alone gay, but something that they overcompensate for.

If you were really straight and comfortable and sure of that then why would you care so much? If you are so far from it, why would you be so strongly against it if it didn't affect in any sort of way?

When I was younger I was a homophobe and look at me now. I suppose I was trying to cover up that small bit of myself, not for fear of what other people might suspect but trying to cover it up from myself.

Of course just because I turned out gay and was a homophobe doesn't mean all homophobes must be gay but I believe there's something there fueling that sort of reaction and whenever I'm around one it does heighten my suspicion of them.

Davyhal · 26-04-2013 01:42PM

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

It's pretty simple really - some homophobes are secretly gay, some aren't.

I certainly had a bit of internalised homophobia before I got comfortable with my bisexuality.

Ditto. I was accused by a friend of mine of being homophobic before I came out as she thought I was uncomfortable when she introduced me to some of her gay friends... I think I was fighting so hard to suppress it at the time that meeting people who were out and proud just made me uncomfortable...

But yeah, some homophobia is due to closed-mindedness, some to religious beliefs or what they were raised to believe, and in some cases, like I experienced, it may be due to struggling with their sexualities

Galwayguy35 · 26-04-2013 01:44PM

rayne10 wrote: »

No I don't agree with that
I am probably going to get attacked cause i wont be able to word this correctly but I have two or three gay friends, love them,happy for them and support them etc etc and see no reason why they cant marry each other and would be very upset and angry if i knew they were getting bullied or anyone hurt them because they are gay as they are the nicest people
....however I wont go to a gay club , i went once or twice and wasnt comfortable there, i hated the atmosphere and it was just creepy to me, I myself was just uncomfortable, everyone can wear what they want of course but every woman there was dressed like a man, they were saying snide things under their breath about me as i clearly stood out as 'a straight' woman wearing a dress and heels and had one deliberately trying to annoy me to , i dont mean to offend anyone but i could never be attracted to a girl, so if anyone said I was a closet homosexual because i cant understand the attraction to girls and dont like seeing their affection or hearing about their experiences I would be pretty annoyed for a generalization , thats just my opinion!

Much the same here, no difference to me what gays do and if they want to marry they should be able to but I also wouldn't go to a gay club because I just wouldn't feel comfortable if there were men around me kissing etc.

The thought of seeing that would turn my stomach as I'm only interested in women.

kylith · 26-04-2013 01:51PM

Davyhal wrote: »

Ditto. I was accused by a friend of mine of being homophobic before I came out as she thought I was uncomfortable when she introduced me to some of her gay friends... I think I was fighting so hard to suppress it at the time that meeting people who were out and proud just made me uncomfortable...

I've heard that before, 'Why should they be able to flaunt what they are when I can't'. It's also one of the only arguments against same-sex marriage that I can understand., not 'agree with', simply comprehend, the reason that people go on about SSM undermining or breaking up marriages, like straight men would divorce their wives and run away with another man, is because that's secretly what they would like to do.

Henlars67 · 26-04-2013 01:54PM

Homophobe is a stupid word. A phobia is a fear which someone generally can't help.

If somebody had a genuine irrational phobia of gay people then that would be excusable, but that isn't the case.

I would imagine that that isn't the case and that most homophobes are just bigots, plain and simple so as I said, ridiculous word that people really should stop using.

kneemos · 26-04-2013 01:56PM

They did tests on people by showing them gay porn and apparently the homophobe's were the most turned on by it.

playedalive · 26-04-2013 02:05PM

rayne10 wrote: »

....however I wont go to a gay club , i went once or twice and wasnt comfortable there, i hated the atmosphere and it was just creepy to me, I myself was just uncomfortable, everyone can wear what they want of course but every woman there was dressed like a man, they were saying snide things under their breath about me as i clearly stood out as 'a straight' woman wearing a dress and heels and had one deliberately trying to annoy me to , i dont mean to offend anyone but i could never be attracted to a girl, so if anyone said I was a closet homosexual because i cant understand the attraction to girls and dont like seeing their affection or hearing about their experiences I would be pretty annoyed for a generalization , thats just my opinion!

There's nothing wrong with what you said. Hell, I'm bisexual and I am not really into the gay nightclub scene.

Everybody has their likes and dislikes, affections/turnoffs, etc...Just because you don't find a certain type of person attractive is normal, regardless of your sexual orientation. Don't let people wind you up.

DellyBelly · 26-04-2013 02:09PM

kneemos wrote: »

They did tests on people by showing them gay porn and apparently the homophobe's were the most turned on by it.

I read about that on a magazine myself doesn't seem very scientific but it must have been carried out...

Crimson King · 26-04-2013 02:11PM

Ignorance and fear of the 'being different' is all it is.

Fluorescence · 26-04-2013 02:11PM

rayne10 wrote: »

No I don't agree with that
I am probably going to get attacked cause i wont be able to word this correctly but I have two or three gay friends, love them,happy for them and support them etc etc and see no reason why they cant marry each other and would be very upset and angry if i knew they were getting bullied or anyone hurt them because they are gay as they are the nicest people
....however I wont go to a gay club , i went once or twice and wasnt comfortable there, i hated the atmosphere and it was just creepy to me, I myself was just uncomfortable, everyone can wear what they want of course but every woman there was dressed like a man, they were saying snide things under their breath about me as i clearly stood out as 'a straight' woman wearing a dress and heels and had one deliberately trying to annoy me to , i dont mean to offend anyone but i could never be attracted to a girl, so if anyone said I was a closet homosexual because i cant understand the attraction to girls and dont like seeing their affection or hearing about their experiences I would be pretty annoyed for a generalization , thats just my opinion!

You do realise there's a difference between being straight and being a homophobe, right?

Seachmall · 26-04-2013 02:26PM

kneemos wrote: »

They did tests on people by showing them gay porn and apparently the homophobe's were the most turned on by it.

There's been a few studies like that but they all suffer the same criticism that physical arousal is not exclusively attributable to attraction.

A regular man watching a gangbang will have a slightly more erect penis and ejaculate slightly more semen than if he were watching regular porn, the reason is assumed to be for competitive reasons. In a gangbang having a more erect penis and more semen than the other men is more likely to result in you impregnating the woman than the others.

It's the other men's presence that makes you harder and cum more but that's not because you're attracted to them, it's because you're competing with them.

Other studies have shown simply feeling dominant over other males can cause the penis to become slightly more erect.

The point is a homophobe may bulge a little more not because of attraction but because he feels superior to them, or competitive with them, or any other feeling he may experience as a result of his homophobia.

Chemical Burn · 26-04-2013 02:28PM

Thinly veiled "I want to come out" thread.

rayne10 · 26-04-2013 02:53PM

Fluorescence wrote: »

You do realise there's a difference between being straight and being a homophobe, right?

yes smartass! but now a days because i wont go to a gay club because i dont like what i see and am uncomfortable, i get called a homophobe

TheLastMohican · 26-04-2013 03:00PM

So, a person that is full of self loathing is, in essence, one's self.
That will be €75. Thanks. Tell the next in line to come in please!

1ZRed · 26-04-2013 03:17PM

Seachmall wrote: »

There's been a few studies like that but they all suffer the same criticism that physical arousal is not exclusively attributable to attraction.

A regular man watching a gangbang will have a slightly more erect penis and ejaculate slightly more semen than if he were watching regular porn, the reason is assumed to be for competitive reasons. In a gangbang having a more erect penis and more semen than the other men is more likely to result in you impregnating the woman than the others.

It's the other men's presence that makes you harder and cum more but that's not because you're attracted to them, it's because you're competing with them.

Other studies have shown simply feeling dominant over other males can cause the penis to become slightly more erect.

The point is a homophobe may bulge a little more not because of attraction but because he feels superior to them, or competitive with them, or any other feeling he may experience as a result of his homophobia.

That is true and I've read that it raises your sperm and testosterone levels when more men are present in the presence of a women for the purpose of competition.

Thing is though, that theory doesn't hold up when men are shown gay porn. There's no woman present to attribute to higher testosterone or a harder erection, it can only be because of sexual arousal/interest.

Terry1985 · 26-04-2013 03:31PM

Rubbish theory.
People get labeled a homophobe even if they accept the idea/freedom to be homosexual but don't agree that we should redefine the traditional idea of marriage or give them children.

cruiser178 · 26-04-2013 03:32PM

TeddyTedson wrote: »

We're all bisexual so hardly.

Are we? cant wait to tell the wife. "honey its ok for you to lick a few gees, teddy said we're all a bit bio.

Seachmall · 26-04-2013 03:38PM

1ZRed wrote: »

That is true and I've read that it raises your sperm and testosterone levels when more men are present in the presence of a women for the purpose of competition.

Thing is though, that theory doesn't hold up when men are shown gay porn. There's no woman present to attribute to higher testosterone or a harder erection, it can only be because of sexual arousal/interest.

Everybody has an increase in arousal when shown gay porn, homophobes and nonhomophobes alike. Regardless if there is a woman present we recognise the situation is sexual and respond to it. There doesn't need to be a female present, nor does there need to be attraction, to cause arousal*. And that's the point, homophobes being more aroused does not necessarily indicate attraction. There are loads of other factors at play, some of which could be tied to aggressiveness or feelings of superiority or dominance.

*When I say arousal I don't mean a full erection, just an increase of blood flow.

kneemos · 26-04-2013 03:45PM

Seachmall wrote: »

Everybody has an increase in arousal when shown gay porn, homophobes and nonhomophobes alike. Regardless if there is a woman present we recognise the situation is sexual and respond to it. There doesn't need to be a female present, nor does there need to be attraction, to cause arousal*. And that's the point, homophobes being more aroused does not necessarily indicate attraction. There are loads of other factors at play, some of which could be tied to aggressiveness or feelings of superiority or dominance.

*When I say arousal I don't mean a full erection, just an increase of blood flow.

But why in a group would only those with a homophobic attitude show an increased attraction?

1ZRed · 26-04-2013 03:49PM

Terry1985 wrote: »

Rubbish theory.
People get labeled a homophobe even if they accept the idea/freedom to be homosexual but don't agree that we should redefine the traditional idea of marriage or give them children.

How does that have anything to do with what I posted about above? But ok, we won't call you a homophobe, would bigot be more fitting?

Seachmall · 26-04-2013 03:54PM

kneemos wrote: »

But why in a group would only those with a homophobic attitude show an increased attraction?

My point is arousal is not exclusively attributable to attraction. Non-homophobic straight men also show an increase in arousal, just not as much, but that doesn't mean non-homophobic straight men are attracted to other men.

Without fully understanding what psychological reasons cause people to be homophobic and correlating them with all the possible causes of arousal we can't conclude that it must be because homophobic men are more likely to be gay.

EuskalHerria · 26-04-2013 03:54PM

Terry1985 wrote: »

Rubbish theory.
People get labeled a homophobe even if............
don't agree that we should redefine the traditional idea of marriage or give them children.

I would constitute the refusal of a couple to be allowed to adopt children on the sole basis of them being a same sex couple as discrimination. I'm not sure if that's under the banner of homophobia but certainly discrimination.

What sort of society do we live in that countless unfit mothers and couples bring children into this world on a daily basis and it's not an issue. However a suitable same sex couple seems to become a massive issue that calls for debate.

JohnMc1 · 26-04-2013 03:55PM

dd972 wrote: »

Whilst no doubt there are Homophobes who are Gay, I've always thought that this theory is overtly simplistic and smacks of pseudo Freudian pop psychology, just because an individual has an ignorance and fear of the other in society, it's doesn't necessarily mean that they are the other.

Unless you can scan people's thoughts, minds and bodies how would you really know their motivations and impulses to behave in any manner.

Using that logic we could easily say that militant Atheists like Bill Maher are secretly religious.

Three Seasons · 26-04-2013 03:58PM

Does this theory apply to pedophobes?

Arcsin · 26-04-2013 03:58PM

Terry1985 wrote: »

Rubbish theory.
People get labeled a homophobe even if they accept the idea/freedom to be homosexual but don't agree that we should redefine the traditional idea of marriage or give them children.

It's not hard to get labelled a homophobe these days.

People seem to think being tolerant means liking and agreeing with everything every subgroup does.

Being tolerant is not liking or agreeing with something but tolerating it anyway. You can't expect the entire population to love every aspect of every minority group. If they did they wouldn't have to tolerate anything.

The best you can hope for is for everyone to be left the fcuk alone to live their lives as long as they aren't harming anyone else.

Some people will never be comfortable with the idea of homosexuality, or transgender individuals, or living next door to immigrants for whatever reason.

But if they don't bother any of these people and treat them decently then what difference does it make?

kneemos · 26-04-2013 03:59PM

Seachmall wrote: »

My point is arousal is not exclusively attributable to attraction. Non-homophobic straight men also show an increase in arousal, just not as much, but that doesn't mean non-homophobic straight men are attracted to other men.

Without fully understanding what psychological reasons cause people to be homophobic and correlating them with all the possible causes of arousal we can't conclude that it must be because homophobic men are more likely to be gay.

There's all sorts of reasons for arousel but these studies appear to have discovered a common denominator.

kylith · 26-04-2013 03:59PM

Seachmall wrote: »

My point is arousal is not exclusively attributable to attraction. Non-homophobic straight men also show an increase in arousal, just not as much, but that doesn't mean non-homophobic straight men are attracted to other men.

Wasn't the point that homophobic men showed more arousal than non homophobic men?

Seachmall wrote: »

Without fully understanding what psychological reasons cause people to be homophobic and correlating them with all the possible causes of arousal we can't conclude that it must be because homophobic men are more likely to be gay.

Oh, I agree. You can't say that just because someone is gay just because they're homophobic, but it does raise some interesting questions about sexuality and how you feel about yourself.

VinLieger · 26-04-2013 04:01PM

Terry1985 wrote: »

Rubbish theory.
People get labeled a homophobe even if they accept the idea/freedom to be homosexual but don't agree that we should redefine the traditional idea of marriage or give them children.

So discriminating against them because they are homosexual isnt being homphobic? News to me. I guess not giving women the right to vote wasnt sexist either?

Do you agree with The All Homophobes are secretly Gay theory

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