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Strange One Night Stand Stories

24567…10

Comments

  • #32
    Seedy Arling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,002 ✭✭✭Seedy Arling


    NuckingFacker wrote: »
    Has the banned poster been named yet? Or not?

    Not yet.


  • #33
    Lando Griffin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,952 ✭✭✭Lando Griffin


    Always took my one night stands serious hoping they would lead to a relationship but alas no.
    The weirest one would be when I broke up with my OH and went on a bender from Friday to Sunday I met her outside the chipper and started shifted again.
    It was ment to be for only one night but we have stuck at it down the years and sure what would any man want only a good woman like his mother to keep him.
    Adieu amigos.


  • #34
    Seedy Arling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,002 ✭✭✭Seedy Arling


    Lando Griffin wrote: »
    Always took my one night stands serious hoping they would lead to a relationship but alas no.
    The weirest one would be when I broke up with my OH and went on a bender from Friday to Sunday I met her outside the chipper and started shifted again.
    It was ment to be for only one night but we have stuck at it down the years and sure what would any man want only a good woman like his mother to keep him.
    Adieu amigos.

    Yeah, your mother is a hell of a goer.


  • #35
    Lando Griffin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,952 ✭✭✭Lando Griffin


    Seedy Arling wrote: »
    Yeah, your mother is a hell of a goer.

    Please replace like with similar.


  • #36
    NuckingFacker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,221 ✭✭✭NuckingFacker


    Seedy Arling wrote: »
    Not yet.
    Fair enough, only asking.
















    :D


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  • #37
    nua domhan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 241 ✭✭nua domhan


    I had a friend who took a girl home one night and after they did the drunken nasty they fell asleep. He was pretty pissed and in the early hours woke himself wetting the bed. Not wanting to embarrass himself in front of the young woman, and seeing his chance to get her out he started shouting at her "What the f**k are you doing pissing the bed?"

    Poor girl was almost in tears apologising getting into the taxi home. He flipped the mattress and went back to sleep. :D


  • #38
    fermanagh_man
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 810 ✭✭✭fermanagh_man


    Where does man start, with an accent like mine and endless amounts of charm, I could tell a tail or to

    One from my uni days, back in Belfast pull this girl in a club she brings me home, get to her front door and she has lost her keys, so she starts banging the door and her housemate answers, the bloody housemate is only her friend who id been with the week before and was still texting

    there are alot lot more ;)


  • #39
    Pug160
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,088 ✭✭✭Pug160


    PrincessPreach wrote: »
    So the discarded condom in the carpark thread got me thinking about this strange one night stand experience I once had.

    It wasn't technically a ONS as we met up twice and this occurred on our second meating. He invited me over for drinks on the Saturday night. He lived alone in a studio style apartment.

    We had a good night and next morning decided to go for a romantic picnic in the Wicklow mountains. I thought he was really sweet and was looking forward to it until I went into the bathroom barefoot and stood on something squidgy and moist.

    It was a used condom. As I said, he lived alone and this was the Saturday night so chances are he'd f*cked a girl in the shower or whatever the night before and he has bad aim.

    Safe to say we didn't go to the Wicklow mountains in the end.

    Another time I had a guy offer me money the next day. Wtf?!!

    So (assuming you're not all nerdy virgins:pac:) Any strange ONS experiences to share?    !

    We're on an internet forum - so the chances are most of us are not Casanovas or Don Juans. The guy you've just described sounds like one of the 20 percent of guys who gets all the girls. Good on him. He'll have lots of good memories when he's an old man.


  • #40
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    Pug160 wrote: »
    We're on an internet forum - so the chances are most of us are not Casanovas or Don Juans. The guy you've just described sounds like one of the 20 percent of guys who gets all the girls. Good on him. He'll have lots of good memories when he's an old man.

    Or enjoys the odd posh ****.No harm done.


  • #41
    wonderfullife
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,924 ✭✭✭wonderfullife


    Stayed a weekend down in Galway back in my student days, stayed in some hostel (anybody knowing Galway, it's the one beside the train/bus station), think it was 4 double bunk beds in the room, anyway got drinking with 2 American girls in our room, went out with them, got back hammered and did the deed with one of them.

    All was going well until i kicked a Portuguese girl in the head by accident, she was in bottom bunk of the next bed which was jammed in at a ridiculous angle to ours.

    If the hostel is still there and anybody been in it they will see it's easily done!! don't think her english was that good as she shook her head when i tried to apologise in the morning. :o


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  • #42
    maddragon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 589 ✭✭✭maddragon


    A friend of mine has a penchant for buggery. One night he pulled and it started really heating up in the taxi home. They stumbled in his front door and he took her up the jaxi at the foot of his stairs. He kept slipping out and she would grab the lad and put it back in. The next morning he went downstairs to be greeted by brown hand prints all over his wall and carpet.


  • #43
    fasttalkerchat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,652 ✭✭✭fasttalkerchat


    I was steaming drunk and was abducted by a human whale. While giving her an awful going her brother came home. The shock sobered me up a bit and I came to my senses. She hopped out of bed to shout out to her brother. I seized the moment to escape and climbed out the window and never looked back!


  • #44
    Robot_Carl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18 ✭Robot_Carl


    Pug160 wrote: »
    We're on an internet forum - so the chances are most of us are not Casanovas or Don Juans. The guy you've just described sounds like one of the 20 percent of guys who gets all the girls. Good on him. He'll have lots of good memories when he's an old man.

    15 percent more like, if even that.


  • #45
    fasttalkerchat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,652 ✭✭✭fasttalkerchat


    fermanagh_man wrote: »
    Where does man start, with an accent like mine and endless amounts of charm, I could tell a tail or to

    One from my uni days, back in Belfast pull this girl in a club she brings me home, get to her front door and she has lost her keys, so she starts banging the door and her housemate answers, the bloody housemate is only her friend who id been with the week before and was still texting

    there are alot lot more ;)

    Holylands lives on.


  • #46
    wonderfullife
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,924 ✭✭✭wonderfullife


    maddragon wrote: »
    A friend of mine has a penchant for buggery. One night he pulled and it started really heating up in the taxi home. They stumbled in his front door and he took her up the jaxi at the foot of his stairs. He kept slipping out and she would grab the lad and put it back in. The next morning he went downstairs to be greeted by brown hand prints all over his wall and carpet.

    indeed.... :) The old tell the story in the 3rd person they will never guess :pac:


  • #47
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    maddragon wrote: »
    A friend of mine has a penchant for buggery. One night he pulled and it started really heating up in the taxi home. They stumbled in his front door and he took her up the jaxi at the foot of his stairs. He kept slipping out and she would grab the lad and put it back in. The next morning he went downstairs to be greeted by brown hand prints all over his wall and carpet.

    Stories that begin with "a friend of mine" should not be allowed in this thread. Also this is the second story involving the rear which also involved crap. I smell bullsh!t.


  • #48
    Frank Black
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,296 ✭✭✭Frank Black


    maddragon wrote: »
    A friend of mine has a penchant for buggery. One night he pulled and it started really heating up in the taxi home. They stumbled in his front door and he took her up the jaxi at the foot of his stairs. He kept slipping out and she would grab the lad and put it back in. The next morning he went downstairs to be greeted by brown hand prints all over his wall and carpet.


    And they say romance is dead.


  • #49
    kylith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,745 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    syklops wrote: »
    Stories that begin with "a friend of mine" should not be allowed in this thread. Also this is the second story involving the rear which also involved crap. I smell bullsh!t.

    Why do people have anal and then get surprised that there's poo on their knob/stomach/hands? Girls don't keep rainbows up their bottoms, you know.

    Never had any particularly strange ONSs myself. I did once go on a date wearing some ill fitting shoes and wound up cutting the feet off of myself. Destroyed the poor bloke's sheets, so it did. Ah, well.


  • #50
    noddyone2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 313 ✭✭noddyone2


    syklops wrote: »
    Stories that begin with "a friend of mine" should not be allowed in this thread. Also this is the second story involving the rear which also involved crap. I smell bullsh!t.
    If it's BULL****, tou're in real trouble.


  • #51
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators, Paid Member Posts: 13,100 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    kylith wrote: »
    Why do people have anal and then get surprised that there's poo on their knob/stomach/hands? Girls don't keep rainbows up their bottoms, you know.

    Never had any particularly strange ONSs myself. I did once go on a date wearing some ill fitting shoes and wound up cutting the feet off of myself. Destroyed the poor bloke's sheets, so it did. Ah, well.
    :D


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  • #52
    johnny_knoxvile
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,022 ✭✭✭johnny_knoxvile


    Picnic in the Mountains huh?

    didn't think Larry Murphy had a romantic bone in his body.


  • #53
    Sadderday
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭Sadderday


    Girl I know had an opportunity to head back with a bloke she really liked one night....
    but was on her period.... did she do it?
    Yes she did and when he noticed the nature trail on the sheet, she told him that she was a virgin.

    ob la di, ob la da


  • #54
    Nodin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    johnny_knoxvile wrote: »
    Picnic in the Mountains huh?

    didn't think Larry Murphy had a romantic bone in his body.


    He may have a few in the wicklow mountains though.


  • #55
    Boogietime
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 233 ✭✭Boogietime


    Went to a karaoke party and this chick comes up to me asking to do a "duet". We sang first, of course.. And then we got to talking, kissing and all the sorts so I went to her place which was really close to the club (beautiful convenience, I tell ya) and we got the business going. I was with a mate and he managed to hook up with her sister so we were banging the chicks in separate rooms.
    ....
    Before I got in she warned me that her parents will come home at 9AM after a ski trip so I should go earlier and not sleepover. Perfect!... Or so I thought.

    Just as we were getting jiggy with it and everything was going nice and smooth, we heard a key turning in the main door. I had a short time window as the parents took their time to leave their luggage at the door so I quickly got dressed and then thought to go out the window. Bad luck, she was on the 5th floor and in my mad and drunk moment I thought I could make the jump :)) Good thing she convinced me otherwise. Second later I see a screwdriver on the table and I start to "fix" her computer.


    5 AM. One sock missing. Room was reeking of alcohol and sex. I was fixing her computer, of course.
    Guess I'm no good under pressure, one might say :D


    Her dad (6.4ft both height and lenght) came in the room and seriously asked me to leave the premises at once. That's all I needed! Ran to the door while my mate was casually tying his shoe laces. I told him to quit it and just get the **** out while the girls' dad doesn't change his mind :D


    Got away, 50meters away from the block I realized I still had my rubber on. Had a laugh with the man and then went home, safe and sound!


  • #56
    folan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭folan


    kylith wrote: »
    Girls don't keep rainbows up their bottoms, you know.

    WHAT?

    it is a fact the girls neither fart nor poop!


  • #57
    NothingMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,178 ✭✭✭✭NothingMan


    Boogietime wrote: »
    Her dad (6.4ft both height and lenght) came in the room


    :eek: He had it out like? Was he looking to join in?


  • #58
    Boogietime
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 233 ✭✭Boogietime


    NothingMan wrote: »
    :eek: He had it out like? Was he looking to join in?

    Prolly only with the IT guy in the room :mad:


  • #59
    TheNap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 786 ✭✭✭TheNap


    A few years ago i pulled and we were heading back to her apartment . She was in the front of the taxi i was in the back . The minute we got in she went straight to the toilet . 5 minutes had passed when somebody knocked on the door . It was the taximan . He started shouting that he wanted a soilage charges because she unrinated all over the passenger seat of his taxi . Long story short , she eventually came out of the toilets and we got down to dirty business.


  • #60
    anhedonia
    Closed Accounts Posts: 391 ✭✭anhedonia


    PrincessPreach wrote: »
    We had a good night and next morning decided to go for a romantic picnic in the Wicklow mountains. I thought he was really sweet and was looking forward to it until I went into the bathroom barefoot and stood on something squidgy and moist.

    It was a used condom. As I said, he lived alone and this was the Saturday night so chances are he'd f*cked a girl in the shower or whatever the night before and he has bad aim.

    Or, it could have been the condom he used with you ?

    Am i missing something?


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  • #61
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    kylith wrote: »
    Why do people have anal and then get surprised that there's poo on their knob/stomach/hands?.

    It is very very rare for that to happen. So people who say it does don't know what they are talking about, hence my bullsh!t comment.


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