Gross things you have seen or heard

Ihatecuddles-old · 22-04-2013 08:21PM

Itwasntme. wrote: »

Okay, I am going to get judged for this but I see this all the time here and I don't get it. What is wrong with having sex with a girl on her period? And what's with the, "ooooh tampons, yada yada, pads, etc.?" If they are disposed of in a sanitary manner before the deed and the girl is clean, how is it worse than other more popular sex acts? If you're that bothered by the blood, put a towel down or do it in the shower.

difference between disposing of it in a sanitary manner, and lobbing it on some lads floor!!

Doom · 22-04-2013 08:33PM

A past friend of mine **** into someone's sleeping blanket at a festival a couple of years ago, I still shudder at the thoughts of someone sliding into their sleeping blanket later that night....:(

Another lad at a party done the blowing up a condom over his head thing, only problem it was used and you could see the jizz sliding down the inside....puke! puke!

discus · 22-04-2013 08:44PM

I've a mate in work who freaks out people by putting as many urinal cakes as he can into his mouth, then running around shouting TOILET SWEETIES. This is generally when it hits 4am in a club!

I've witnessed the 'soggy biscuit'

During pre-drinks, two of the lads **** into showboxes and chased each other with their 'ammo', resorting finally to throwing the now hardened turds at each other. I didn't share a taxi with them.

discus · 22-04-2013 08:45PM

Oh, and a lad who came in drunk one time (10 man rooms) who proceeded to bang a rather vigourous **** out, catch the spill, and fling it across the room onto the head of an unsuspecting room mate. Glad there was a locker between us!

EazyD · 22-04-2013 08:45PM

We had a phantom ****ter in school. Many times each year there would be **** stained across the entire cubical. Some people are sub-human me thinks.

Duvetdays · 22-04-2013 08:47PM

Sorry op I think that's an urban legend heard that story about an old man and a girl on Dublin bus about 15yrs ago!

Was on the bus many years ago and there was this old scruffy drunk who was p*ssed off his face and had filled his pants nobody would sit beside him for obvious reasons and the bus was packed. When he got off you could see the stains down the back of his trousers still nobody sat in the seat he had just vacated. Two girls got on and went straight and sat in the seat, everybody was just looking at each other kinda smirking.

Another Dublin bus story two junkies making out at the bus stop one night as my bus pulls up he gets on she staggers off he tries to make conversation with me about the bird (his words) he was just with and then I noticed the fingers on one of his hands was covered in blood.

I still heave when I think of those stories.

Galwayguy35 · 22-04-2013 09:06PM

One of my exes took out the tampon and expected me to go down on her but compared to some of the stories posted here that's a fairly tame story.

Jake The Fat Ma · 22-04-2013 09:17PM

I got lucky one night and went home some this bird, she was a real looker.
She was wearing leather trousers and when we were getting down to business when I put my hand in the back or her knickers she hadnt cleaned herself or she had just crapped herself but It wasnt good. My stomach still turns now years later thinking of it.

moss.ie · 22-04-2013 09:20PM

worked in a pub once upon a time, for about a year we had some sick fcuker who used to break a pint glass down the toilet bowl and then take a sh1t into it, he didnt smash it completely just the rim so it had jagged edges then packed it up with loo roll so that the toilet blocked, only way to free it out was by hand, luckily i never cut myself, we never did catch the fcuker...even now id still ring that pr1cks bell if i found out who he was....

Czarcasm · 22-04-2013 09:27PM

Woke up the other morning and one of my mates had sent me a scat video on whatsapp... Not of herself or anything but it still wasn't the nicest thing to wake up to in the morning

Czarcasm · 22-04-2013 09:31PM

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

One of my exes took out the tampon and expected me to go down on her but compared to some of the stories posted here that's a fairly tame story.

Something similar, many years ago now, she didn't realise apparently that her period was coming on, I ended up with tomato sauce jaws... :pac:

In fairness, she was more embarrassed about it than I was, I'll never forget the look of sheer horror on her face as I came up for air, still gives me a giggle even now nearly 20 years later!

Galwayguy35 · 22-04-2013 09:35PM

Czarcasm wrote: »

Something similar, many years ago now, she didn't realise apparently that her period was coming on, I ended up with tomato sauce jaws... :pac:

In fairness, she was more embarrassed about it than I was, I'll never forget the look of sheer horror on her face as I came up for air, still gives me a giggle even now nearly 20 years later!

You're a braver man than me, there was going to be no tongue action from me until rag week was over!

shopaholic01 · 22-04-2013 09:38PM

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

One of my exes took out the tampon and expected me to go down on her but compared to some of the stories posted here that's a fairly tame story.

Explains why she's your ex. There's no excuse for that.

Czarcasm wrote: »

Something similar, many years ago now, she didn't realise apparently that her period was coming on, I ended up with tomato sauce jaws... :pac:

In fairness, she was more embarrassed about it than I was, I'll never forget the look of sheer horror on her face as I came up for air, still gives me a giggle even now nearly 20 years later!

Is that your now wife? Brave man, C!:pac:

General General · 22-04-2013 09:49PM

KDII wrote: »

As a nurse I take confusing pride in the fact that I could win this thread in one shift.

I've heard some rank stories about nurses in the sack.. but shiftin'?

Czarcasm · 22-04-2013 10:07PM

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

You're a braver man than me, there was going to be no tongue action from me until rag week was over!

Haha, ah Christ no, Jesus I wouldn't have gone near there if I'd known, but it was just her reaction, lol, sure I went into the bathroom and just washed my face, no harm done

Speaking of no harm done, the same poor girl I left her bathroom a lovely shade of Guinness one night a few years later when I was staying over, it was like something from the exorcist... not my finest moment then either

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Is that your now wife? Brave man, C!:pac:

Ah Jesus no shop, this was well before I met my wife, though I was only with her a week when I'd a couple of the lads over and we were all drinking and having a laugh and it was one of those quiet moments, when suddenly the silence was broken by someone dropping the most thunderous fart!

All the lads looked around at each other like "Who the FCUK was that?", and nobody was owning up, next thing we looked over at my normally meek and mild mannered wife (girlfriend at the time) and she was in knots sniggering away to herself! :pac:

shopaholic01 · 22-04-2013 10:09PM

Czarcasm wrote: »

Ah Jesus no shop, this was well before I met my wife, though I was only with her a week when I'd a couple of the lads over and we were all drinking and having a laugh and it was one of those quiet moments, when suddenly the silence was broken by someone dropping the most thunderous fart!

All the lads looked around at each other like "Who the FCUK was that?", and nobody was owning up, next thing we looked over at my normally meek and mild mannered and she was in knots sniggering away to herself! :pac:

You certainly know how to pick them.:P

Chemical Burn · 22-04-2013 10:12PM

Giovanni Plowman

El Guapo! · 22-04-2013 11:46PM

A guy I know pulled this girl in the pub one night. They both left the pub píssed and went back to the house and they started goin at it. She's a bit kinky and says she wants it in the arse. He gladly obliges, and then they fall asleep when they're done.
He gets up the next morning and jumps in the shower and while he's washing himself, he notices this lump behind his foreskin...............

Yep. A chunk of shít.

shopaholic01 · 22-04-2013 11:48PM

El Guapo! wrote: »

A guy I know pulled this girl in the pub one night. They both left the pub píssed and went back to the house and they started goin at it. She's a bit kinky and says she wants it in the arse. He gladly obliges, and then they fall asleep when they're done.
He gets up the next morning and jumps in the shower and while he's washing himself, he notices this lump behind his foreskin...............

Yep. A chunk of shít.

A guy you know ........ sure.

You really should have used a condom.

El Guapo! · 22-04-2013 11:49PM

shopaholic01 wrote: »

A guy you know ........ sure.

You really should have used a condom.

:pac:

I walked into that one! Seriously though it wasn't me. I'd admit it if it was!

Czarcasm · 22-04-2013 11:53PM

El Guapo! wrote: »

A guy I know pulled this girl in the pub one night. They both left the pub píssed and went back to the house and they started goin at it. She's a bit kinky and says she wants it in the arse. He gladly obliges, and then they fall asleep when they're done.
He gets up the next morning and jumps in the shower and while he's washing himself, he notices this lump behind his foreskin...............

Yep. A chunk of shít.

Well what did he expect when he went ploughing in the mud, bound to be a few clumps get caught up in the drill... :pac:

shopaholic01 · 22-04-2013 11:54PM

Czarcasm wrote: »

Well what did he expect when he went ploughing in the mud, bound to be a few clumps get caught up in the drill... :pac:

Of course you prefer a mouth of blood.

You're all depraved!

Czarcasm · 22-04-2013 11:54PM

El Guapo! wrote: »

:pac:

I walked into that one! Seriously though it wasn't me. I'd admit it if it was!

I wouldn't!

Ohh this thread is too much! :pac:

wilkie2006 · 22-04-2013 11:59PM

discus wrote: »

We've an initiation in work called The Dentist Chair.

In your first week, a bucket is left out and people can put whatever they want in it. Beer, vodka, sambuca.... piss.... fag butts.... (use your imagination for what else can go in......) whatever. The next night, you're grabbed and your limbs and head are secured to the dentist chair in the bar. A funnel appears, along with the bucket. A pint of the stuff is scooped out and you're forced to drink it. Any vomit goes back into the bucket and you have to finish a pint of it...

Where do you work, North Korea?

saintsaltynuts · 23-04-2013 12:03AM

#nopethreadparttwo.

Sir_Name · 23-04-2013 12:06AM

An email was sent to all the guys in work, there's about 200 of us there so for HR to even pick out the names of the guys was effort!

Anyway, some guy in our office obviously used to pick his nose in the bathroom and put his snot on the partition. Until it built up to be noticed!!!

Gross gross gross!!!

That said, I am astounded that some girls leave skid marks on toilets when there are brushes there!! Ugh...

Ihatecuddles-old · 23-04-2013 12:12AM

El Guapo! wrote: »

A guy I know pulled this girl in the pub one night. They both left the pub píssed and went back to the house and they started goin at it. She's a bit kinky and says she wants it in the arse. He gladly obliges, and then they fall asleep when they're done.
He gets up the next morning and jumps in the shower and while he's washing himself, he notices this lump behind his foreskin...............

Yep. A chunk of shít.

oh my god, now that's gross!!!

A good friend of mine went in the back door on The couch with a girl, she ended up sharting all over his couch when he pulled out. I need new friends

Ihatecuddles-old · 23-04-2013 12:12AM

El Guapo! wrote: »

A guy I know pulled this girl in the pub one night. They both left the pub píssed and went back to the house and they started goin at it. She's a bit kinky and says she wants it in the arse. He gladly obliges, and then they fall asleep when they're done.
He gets up the next morning and jumps in the shower and while he's washing himself, he notices this lump behind his foreskin...............

Yep. A chunk of shít.

oh my god, now that's gross!!!

A good friend of mine went in the back door on The couch with a girl, she ended up sharting all over his couch when he pulled out. I need new friends

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater · 23-04-2013 12:20AM

I remember back in secondary school somebody took a sh1te into a lad's schoolbag, in on top of all his books.

It was a bit depraved tbf

stateofflux · 23-04-2013 12:29AM

A guy in my old band worked in a sex shop in dublin, always complained about having to clean the private booths of jizz in the evening. Said he was looking for another job as he couldn't take it any more. we used to slag the ****e out of him saying 'at least under qualifications on your CV you can put Jizz Mopping I & II..

Gross things you have seen or heard

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