Gross things you have seen or heard

frag420 · 22-04-2013 04:49PM #1

So one of the guys from my office told me this story last Fri nights at our post work drinks. I almost puked and then I laughed so hard I couldn't stand up!!

So he was on the tube a few weeks ago. There was this very well to do young lady asleep on the tube. She was dressed very well, manicured hands, expensive hair and clothes etc (that's how he described her). She was obviously drunk and had dozed of..

So at the next stop a bum got on. He was stinking and was walking up and down the carriage coughing, spluttering,begging and being a nuisance. Out of nowhere he coughed and a big lump of lumpy, green/black phlem flew out of his mouth and landed on the drunk girls hand. The whole carriage was in shock and didn't know where to look as the bum kept walking up the carriage not knowing what he had done!!

So the poor girl started to stir a little and opened her eyes to the shock of a loads of stale beer and smoke flavoured phlegm on her hand. In fact she was so shocked that she raised her hand to her mouth and sucked the phlegm into her mouth as she thought she had done it herself in her sleep!

GROSS!!!

So if you have stopped wretching at the thought of that story have you got any gross stories eh?

frAG

Merkin · 22-04-2013 04:51PM

I just vomited in my mouth a little bit reading that

:eek:

Grayson · 22-04-2013 04:54PM

I sat behind a guy who pissed himself on a bus once. I used to do a lot of work for disabled charities years ago. So pee doesn't really gross me out. I just ended up lifting my feet off the ground and feeling sorry for him.

uch · 22-04-2013 04:59PM

I read this thread once about a Bum on a train hocking out loogies onto drunk people!

WoollyRedHat · 22-04-2013 05:00PM

frag420 wrote: »

So one of the guys from my office told me this story last Fri nights at our post work drinks. I almost puked and then I laughed so hard I couldn't stand up!!

So he was on the tube a few weeks ago. There was this very well to do young lady asleep on the tube. She was dressed very well, manicured hands, expensive hair and clothes etc (that's how he described her). She was obviously drunk and had dozed of..

So at the next stop a bum got on. He was stinking and was walking up and down the carriage coughing, spluttering,begging and being a nuisance. Out of nowhere he coughed and a big lump of lumpy, green/black phlem flew out of his mouth and landed on the drunk girls hand. The whole carriage was in shock and didn't know where to look as the bum kept walking up the carriage not knowing what he had done!!

So the poor girl started to stir a little and opened her eyes to the shock of a loads of stale beer and smoke flavoured phlegm on her hand. In fact she was so shocked that she raised her hand to her mouth and sucked the phlegm into her mouth as she thought she had done it herself in her sleep!

GROSS!!!

So if you have stopped wretching at the thought of that story have you got any gross stories eh?

frAG

Gross mental image.

Ihatecuddles-old · 22-04-2013 05:02PM

A male friend of mine pulled on a night out, brought her back to his. They were kissing on the bed, taking off their clothes...he goes to get a condom and she pulls out her tampon and throws it on his floor.

OneArt · 22-04-2013 05:02PM

Samantha Brick.

MugMugs · 22-04-2013 05:13PM

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

A male friend of mine pulled on a night out, brought her back to his. They were kissing on the bed, taking off their clothes...he goes to get a condom and she pulls out her tampon and throws it on his floor.

I'm not quite sure how you expect me to keep my lunch down.

Pilotdude5 · 22-04-2013 05:15PM

4Chan

shopaholic01 · 22-04-2013 05:17PM

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

A male friend of mine pulled on a night out, brought her back to his. They were kissing on the bed, taking off their clothes...he goes to get a condom and she pulls out her tampon and throws it on his floor.

Please tell me he left immediately.

artanevilla · 22-04-2013 05:19PM

Saw a lad in a nightclub get sick into a pint glass.
Then down it.

Ihatecuddles-old · 22-04-2013 05:20PM

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Please tell me he left immediately.

He says he did, but we all think he carried on. It would take more than that to put him off, plus he said she was hot!

Seedy Arling · 22-04-2013 05:24PM

Saw a woman sitting in a door way after too much booze, puke on herself and then a dog ate it off her. She was conscious.

I know her from around town and she is the type of person who would hit you over the head with a bottle so I left her at it.

shopaholic01 · 22-04-2013 05:26PM

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

He says he did, but we all think he carried on. It would take more than that to put him off, plus he said she was hot!

I suppose it would have worse if he had removed it for her with his teeth!

Duggy747 · 22-04-2013 05:37PM

Knew a guy who would hock up big fistfuls of phlegm and let his dog eat them

13spanner · 22-04-2013 05:39PM

The NOPE thread. All of it.

spankysue · 22-04-2013 05:42PM

I heard this story years ago on a factory floor so not sure if it's true but it's gross and makes me laugh...

A group of girls from a factory went away on a caravan holiday years ago and there were some bikers staying in the caravan next to them. The bikers were playing loud music and making a nuisance of themselves so the girls knocked on their door and asked them to keep it down, which they did.

So that was grand, the girls had no more trouble from the bikers over the next few days, they went off sightseeing and what have you and enjoyed the rest of their break.

All was fine until they got home and got their photos developed and saw photos of the bikers from the caravan next door, with the girls toobrushes up their arses.

keelanj69 · 22-04-2013 05:43PM

Saw a drunk girl squat down and take a dump in front of the main stage at Oxegen a few years back. No pants on and a few security guards standing a few metres away watching and laughing.

af_thefragile · 22-04-2013 05:46PM

I haven't seen many things in real life. Well nothing as gross as some of the things I've seen on the internet. Like this guy who once posted on reditt all the semen he's been collecting for the past many years in 2l coke bottles. It was the single grossest thing I've ever seen. Especially when he had all the bottles labelled by the year and the older bottles were quite discolored compared to the 'fresher' recent bottles...

WTF is wrong with some people??!!!!

KDII · 22-04-2013 05:52PM

As a nurse I take confusing pride in the fact that I could win this thread in one shift.

fergal.b · 22-04-2013 06:06PM

When I worked on the building in England we had a drinking "game" called chew the pencil, you take a bite of a pencil chew it up a bit then spit it out and pass it on to the next guy, whoever didn't take their go had to buy the next round, they were hard times and sometimes all that was left was a black saliva mush :eek: I can still taste it

.

Corvo · 22-04-2013 06:30PM

fergal.b wrote: »

When I worked on the building in England we had a drinking "game" called chew the pencil, you take a bite of a pencil chew it up a bit then spit it out and pass it on to the next guy, whoever didn't take their go had to buy the next round, they were hard times and sometimes all that was left was a black saliva mush :eek: I can still taste it

.

You sick fooker :pac:

discus · 22-04-2013 06:37PM

We've an initiation in work called The Dentist Chair.

In your first week, a bucket is left out and people can put whatever they want in it. Beer, vodka, sambuca.... piss.... fag butts.... (use your imagination for what else can go in......) whatever. The next night, you're grabbed and your limbs and head are secured to the dentist chair in the bar. A funnel appears, along with the bucket. A pint of the stuff is scooped out and you're forced to drink it. Any vomit goes back into the bucket and you have to finish a pint of it...

af_thefragile · 22-04-2013 06:49PM

discus wrote: »

We've an initiation in work called The Dentist Chair.

In your first week, a bucket is left out and people can put whatever they want in it. Beer, vodka, sambuca.... piss.... fag butts.... (use your imagination for what else can go in......) whatever. The next night, you're grabbed and your limbs and head are secured to the dentist chair in the bar. A funnel appears, along with the bucket. A pint of the stuff is scooped out and you're forced to drink it. Any vomit goes back into the bucket and you have to finish a pint of it...

I would hate to take up a job where you work....

aw · 22-04-2013 07:47PM

This is driving me mad.

I read this exact story in a FHM funny story book years ago and I can't find it on t'internet to verify.

I think it was this book

I'm going to have to find the god damned book now to see.

frag420 wrote: »

So one of the guys from my office told me this story last Fri nights at our post work drinks. I almost puked and then I laughed so hard I couldn't stand up!!

So he was on the tube a few weeks ago. There was this very well to do young lady asleep on the tube. She was dressed very well, manicured hands, expensive hair and clothes etc (that's how he described her). She was obviously drunk and had dozed of..

So at the next stop a bum got on. He was stinking and was walking up and down the carriage coughing, spluttering,begging and being a nuisance. Out of nowhere he coughed and a big lump of lumpy, green/black phlem flew out of his mouth and landed on the drunk girls hand. The whole carriage was in shock and didn't know where to look as the bum kept walking up the carriage not knowing what he had done!!

So the poor girl started to stir a little and opened her eyes to the shock of a loads of stale beer and smoke flavoured phlegm on her hand. In fact she was so shocked that she raised her hand to her mouth and sucked the phlegm into her mouth as she thought she had done it herself in her sleep!

GROSS!!!

So if you have stopped wretching at the thought of that story have you got any gross stories eh?

frAG

Teyla Emmagan · 22-04-2013 07:54PM

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

A male friend of mine pulled on a night out, brought her back to his. They were kissing on the bed, taking off their clothes...he goes to get a condom and she pulls out her tampon and throws it on his floor.

Years ago myself and a mate pulled, and took our respective prey back to our caravan (don't get distracted by that part). Anyway, she decides to have it off with your man and off they go into one of the bedrooms. And as she's on the rag, she takes her tampon out, and they get to it. Only she'd not said anything to him and just stuffed the tampon down the side of the bed. She tells me this story as she leaves the next day. All apologetic, but it's okay because she'd 'thrown the tampon out the window'. And my Mam is expected that day. So guess who has to go outside, find, locate and dispose of the tampon, and CLEAN THE BLOOD OFF THE WALL AND THE MATTRESS.

Manky b*tch.

discus · 22-04-2013 07:56PM

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

Years ago myself and a mate pulled, and took our respective prey back to our caravan (don't get distracted by that part). Anyway, she decides to have it off with your man and off they go into one of the bedrooms. And as she's on the rag, she takes her tampon out, and they get to it. Only she'd not said anything to him and just stuffed the tampon down the side of the bed. She tells me this story as she leaves the next day. All apologetic, but it's okay because she'd 'thrown the tampon out the window'. And my Mam is expected that day. So guess who has to go outside, find, locate and dispose of the tampon, and CLEAN THE BLOOD OFF THE WALL AND THE MATTRESS.

Manky b*tch.

That is ****ing disgusting. What the hell is wrong with girls!?

Teyla Emmagan · 22-04-2013 07:57PM

discus wrote: »

That is ****ing disgusting. What the hell is wrong with girls!?

I had to clean it up!!!!!

Ihatecuddles-old · 22-04-2013 07:57PM

discus wrote: »

That is ****ing disgusting. What the hell is wrong with girls!?

Hey, don't lump me in with those sickos!!

discus · 22-04-2013 08:09PM

Right, some girls are sickos!

If I were the lad in that situation, I'd be struggling to keep myself erect*...

*I'd probably have fainted

Itwasntme. · 22-04-2013 08:14PM

Okay, I am going to get judged for this but I see this all the time here and I don't get it. What is wrong with having sex with a girl on her period? And what's with the, "ooooh tampons, yada yada, pads, etc.?" If they are disposed of in a sanitary manner before the deed and the girl is clean, how is it worse than other more popular sex acts? If you're that bothered by the blood, put a towel down or do it in the shower.

Gross things you have seen or heard

Comments