Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all! We have been experiencing an issue on site where threads have been missing the latest postings. The platform host Vanilla are working on this issue. A workaround that has been used by some is to navigate back from 1 to 10+ pages to re-sync the thread and this will then show the latest posts. Thanks, Mike.
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Good Shepherd Convent Dunboyne

1235710

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 7 margaret1782


    hi,
    no-one in my opinion will ever get an apology from the nuns, who ruined so many lives. through one mistake that will live with us a lifetime:(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,041 ✭✭✭Penny Dreadful


    dymp98 wrote: »
    i remember your uncle bringing me to Holles street. he never stopped talking the whole journey. He was a lovely kind man who judged noone. :)

    He was quite the talker. :)
    I'm really so glad to hear that. I remember him as being a lovely man but as we've seen all too often you never really can be sure of what lies beneath.
    Its great to know that somewhere in all of the sadness and wrongness of what happened to all of the girls (women) who were in Dunboyne that there was someone who just saw people who needed someone to be nice and kind.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1 yalled


    I was in dunboyne in 1976 i managed to keep my baby in those days women under 21 had no rights luckily I was Bolshi and insisted on reading everything otherwise i would of signed my girl away sometimes the girls there were made to feel they had no option not necessarily by the nuns but by their own families this seems to be have been forgotten hope you all realise we n you had none or very little control there were very few of us who were strong or naive to think we could go alone .


  • Registered Users Posts: 14 MrsMoneypenny


    Yalled - my mother was there is 1976. I was born in August. I wonder what time were you there. My mother had to give me away and sadly she died before I could meet her. I think of her often and it's her anniversary soon. I'm reading a book called "for the love of my mother" and it's very very moving, such an insight to those (particularly those in galway in this book).


  • Registered Users Posts: 60 ✭✭diabeticmum


    Who the book Mrs moneypenny?


  • Registered Users Posts: 14 MrsMoneypenny


    It's by JP Rodgers.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2 cargeo711


    Jackeen68 wrote: »
    Hi Zosk! I just came across this thread and it has tears streaming down my face. I was at Ard Mhuire from 1986 until March 1987. Were you there then? I slept in the "Blue" room. I can't remember the name they gave me but my real name is Sandra. Would love to connect with others who were there at same time.

    That's the same time I was there. Had my son on the 18th of March. They didn't make me change my name Caroline


  • Registered Users Posts: 21 shassa


    I was in dunboyne from November 1985 and my daughter was born in February 1986


  • Registered Users Posts: 3 vinosol


    Hi , I was there from July 1980 until November 1980, i had my baby taken away from me, i will never forget trying to look out a window at them taking him away .. i have 2 photographs , nothing more. I too had blanked out most of my stay, some of it is coming back as i read these stories.. I had my son christened there and a girl called Margaruite stood for him, she had a disability which caused her to limp..My life has been difficult and i always seem to struggle. i have a lovely son but i always feel i can cope with anything because nothing can hurt more than my baby been taken from me and never been able to talk about it, my life will never be complete..
    Thank you for letting me and others like us know how you too feel...x


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 29 teddybug


    What are we meant to do now i feel like i need counselling, is there any one feeling like this

    hi ilovemyweedogs yes i feel like i need councelling more n more as time goes by as i never had any since givin up my daughter 30 yrs ago ,i still havent met up wit her yet ,in spite of yrs of frantic letters. ive had some letters from her though , but shes not ready 2 meet me yet.....
    :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users Posts: 33 Elizvonne


    Hi ilovemyweedogs and teddybug

    It's so sad when you think that babies were taken and not one ounce of support to the birth mothers. I'm in reunion with my son since last year and after initial contact I was all over the place. Having to deal with and accept what we had both went through. I contacted Barnardos and I have to say they were brilliant. They run courses for birthparents and adoptees.

    For anyone who is not aware of the services see below:

    Barnardos post adoption services offer support to birth parents. They also offer courses to both birth parents and adoptees.

    Contact details below

    If you would like more information about our Post Adoption Service, please contact us.

    Dublin

    A: Barnardos Post Adoption Service, 23/24 Buckingham Street, Dublin 1
    T: +353 1 813 4100
    E: adoption@barnardos.ie

    Directions to our centre

    Helpline

    T: 01 454 6388
    (Open 10am - 1pm, every Tuesday & Thursday)


  • Registered Users Posts: 29 teddybug


    hi elizvonne thank you 4 ur conern and the information you supplied , i was never offered counelling ,so i just felt that everyone was on my case untill i signed the adoption papers ,then never heard from anyone again and left to get on with life as if noting happened .but life is never the same after that bcause it changes what u become inside and your never ever the same person again .......


  • Registered Users Posts: 29 teddybug


    To elizvonne ,congrats on ur reunion with your son ,i sincerely hope u have a long and wonderfull relationship with your son you deserve it after all the years you were without him ....


  • Registered Users Posts: 33 junemay


    Just reading on the Irish Independent website 'Woman claims her baby was adopted without her constent'.
    A women, whose baby was adopted in the 1970s is suing a religious order (doesn't say which one) and the HSE, claiming her daughter was adopted without her knowledge. she was a teenager at the time.


  • Registered Users Posts: 60 ✭✭diabeticmum


    Do you have a link? I wouldnt be a bit surprised, they were giving babies away for adoption and getting girls as young as 14 to sign adoption order/ papers without any adult /guardian signature. Under 18 you cant sign a legal document, even back in 60s and 70s.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 85 ✭✭nowanathiest


    junemay wrote: »
    Just reading on the Irish Independent website 'Woman claims her baby was adopted without her constent'.
    A women, whose baby was adopted in the 1970s is suing a religious order (doesn't say which one) and the HSE, claiming her daughter was adopted without her knowledge. she was a teenager at the time.


    Does anyone know which legal firm is dealing with this case please? I will definitely be pursuing a claim if at all possible. I was only 16 when I signed those papers, with no parent or guardian in attendance.


  • Registered Users Posts: 85 ✭✭nowanathiest


    survived wrote: »
    If anyone is interested in getting their records from dunboyne i have just recieved info that the records can be obtained from HSE North Eastern area. Regional Adoption Service, Child and family Centre, Dublin Rd, Drogheda, Co. Louth. I have not contacted them myself yet as im not sure if its a good or bad idea ???? if anyone has already done this id love to hear from them.


    I wrote to HSE 2 months ago, requesting a copy of my file, and to date have not received a response or acknowledgement of my letter from them. Has anyone else contacted them and successfully received their file?


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,285 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    Short summary page with all information anonymised/redacted received. Of general interest, but nothing of substance in it. More a manner of placating me, than actually giving me any information.


  • Registered Users Posts: 33 junemay


    Woman claims her baby was adopted without her consent



    31 MAY 2013
    A WOMAN who claims her baby was put up for adoption in the 1970s without her permission is entitled to sue for damages even though she is not contesting the adoption order, the High Court ruled.


    The woman is suing a religious order and the HSE, as successor to the adoption agency which arranged the placement of her daughter more than 40 years ago, claiming the adoption was done without her knowledge while she was a resident with the order.

    She claims she was not even consulted when, as a teen mother, the baby was taken for adoption. She says she suffered psychological harm, among other injuries, due to the defendants' alleged negligence, breach of duty and breach of her constitutional rights.

    She also claims fraud and undue influence in relation to documents she allegedly signed by her for the adoption.

    The claims are denied.

    Mr Justice Sean Ryan, who said the parties, with the exception of the HSE, should not be identified at this stage, described the case as a difficult, sensitive and painful one.

    The judge was only dealing with a preliminary issue as to whether she could sue for damages if she was not contesting the validity of the adoption order.

    She had no desire to upset the arrangement which had been made for her now adult child but was confining her claim to the alleged wrongs done to her, the judge said.

    The defendants had argued she was not entitled to claim damages without first challenging the validity of the adoption order and without also possibly bringing others into the case, such as the child, the adoptive parents and the Adoption Authority of Ireland.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7 margaret1782


    Hi brieda,
    I was so sorry to hear that your son has died. That must be gut wrenching. More so if you never had the chance to see him again or hear his voice.
    My heart dropped when I read your message.

    Kind regards,
    Margaret.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 7 margaret1782


    Hi June,
    I have not met her yet. As she feels it is not the right time. I also know her new christian name that her adopted parents gave her. She is really happy and is studying Law and loves her mum, dad and her two brothers.
    I feel it would be very selfish of me to keep going on about wanting to meet her, when she is obviously very happy.
    I deserved to be ignored by her, after all I did give her away.I am just so relieved to know, she has had a wonderful life and a mum and dad who love her dearly. They have given her everything. When all I could offer her was my love. I had no family support whatsoever, and if I never get the chance too hold her one last time and let her know, I love her with all my heart and think about her every single day since she was born. I know what I did was for her.

    Kind regards,
    Margaet


  • Registered Users Posts: 29 teddybug


    i have not met my daughter yet ,its been 30 yrs since i gave her up , but i dont think its selfish 2 want 2 see her , its just human nature .she has written to me 2 say we will have a relationship one day ,so i live in hope from that .i have 3 other grown up children whom would love 2 meet her too .they have always known about her and have seen photos of her which she sent to me .and its just 4 all my kids 2 meet up some day that i hope to live 2 see


  • Registered Users Posts: 7 margaret1782


    Hi,
    Thank you so very much for your reply.

    I really hope you do meet her, hopefully you can be allowed some sort of relationship with one another and your children can get to know their sister.

    Kind regards,

    Margaret.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12 minnie10


    Hi I've just seen your post about being able to get records from Drogheda, and wonder if you have done so since putting up this post. Also if you have ever tried to get a copy of your birth cert in IFSC centre records or have you got from Drogheda.

    Minnie10


  • Registered Users Posts: 12 minnie10


    I think it sad to hear that some mothers never get to meet or see the children they gave up for adoption, especially if they didn't want to but were forced. My cousin had to give her son up for adoption but managed to trace him. He didn't want to meet her and sadly she passed away without getting to met him.

    Being adopted my self I often wonder if it would be the other way round, that my mother wouldn't want to meet me, hence why i haven't tried to make contact.

    I wish anyone who gave up a child or children who want to be found are someday reunited.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12 minnie10


    Hi there,

    Can you tell my if the home in stamullen was an orphanage? Its just that I have a medical admission form which my adopted mother was given when she got me and I often wondered if I hadn't been adopted at that time, was I going to be sent to stamullen. Was that where some babies were sent while waiting to be adopted or was this a similar home to dunboyne. Would love to know!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 11 Kleo


    minnie10 wrote: »
    Hi there,

    Can you tell my if the home in stamullen was an orphanage? Its just that I have a medical admission form which my adopted mother was given when she got me and I often wondered if I hadn't been adopted at that time, was I going to be sent to stamullen. Was that where some babies were sent while waiting to be adopted or was this a similar home to dunboyne. Would love to know!!

    Hi Minnie... It was both, I was in Dunboyne in the late 70ts and was lucky enough to keep my baby but he spent 6 wks in Stamullen until my parents came round to the idea...if they had not ,he would have been adopted from there...


  • Registered Users Posts: 33 junemay


    Hi Minnie
    I applied to the HSE under the Freedom of Information act to get my file from my stay in Dunboyne. It's taken a few months but its now at the post office waiting for me to collect it. I believe that all references to 'third parties' are removed so don't expect any real information but I wanted to have it. As an adopted person, I'm not sure you could access your mothers file as you would be considered the third party. Perhaps check this with the citizens advice
    www.citizensinformation.ie


  • Registered Users Posts: 2 marmer


    Hi Minnie,
    I'm not sure but I think it is likely that babies from Dunboyne were adopted from Stamullen. I was meant to do my "children's nursing training" in the "children and babies home" Stamullen in 1978 but when i became pregnant Sr Regina (I think) who was matron (?) there gave me details to contact Dunboyne. My post was redirected from there so there was quite a bit of collaboration between the two. I wasn't in Dunboyne long enough to form an opinion on the exact nature of that relationship but it is probable that Stamullen was run by the Good Sheppard order also. Marmer


  • Registered Users Posts: 12 minnie10


    Hi Kleo,

    Thanks for that! I was born in May 1975 and adopted in December 1975. I was told that the mother was given this time to change her mind, so that was why it was so long after my birth that the adoption took place.

    My adopted mother said that she got me from The Proical House in Dunboyne. I wonder was i actually stayed in Stamullen until the adoption but my parents picked me up in Dunboye as the priest who arranged the adoption for me met my parents there. So can you tell me how long after a baby was born did you get to stay in dunboyne. Like in your case, did you go home while your baby was in stamullen or did you stay in dunboyne? Thanks a million.

    minnie10


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 12 minnie10


    Thanks for that Junemay, I'm delighted for you, that you have finally received something.


  • Registered Users Posts: 32 Enda63


    yvonne macnab, I was there til December 1981, maybe our paths crossed


  • Registered Users Posts: 11 Kleo


    minnie10 wrote: »
    Hi Kleo,

    Thanks for that! I was born in May 1975 and adopted in December 1975. I was told that the mother was given this time to change her mind, so that was why it was so long after my birth that the adoption took place.

    My adopted mother said that she got me from The Proical House in Dunboyne. I wonder was i actually stayed in Stamullen until the adoption but my parents picked me up in Dunboye as the priest who arranged the adoption for me met my parents there. So can you tell me how long after a baby was born did you get to stay in dunboyne. Like in your case, did you go home while your baby was in stamullen or did you stay in dunboyne? Thanks a million.

    minnie10

    Hi Minnie

    In my case I was 3 weeks I'm Dunboyne after my baby was born...then he was taken to Stamullem untill I was able to bring him home..I used to visit him there 2/3 times a week....No baby's were kept in Dunboyne after ther Mothers left as there was no one to take care of them...but I know of I baby who went to Stamullen for a few weeks untill her Mum gave her up for adoption and she was handed over to her new parents in Dunboyne...hope that is some help....
    Kleo..


  • Registered Users Posts: 3 avoncon


    it destroyed my life.i didnt have a choice.


  • Registered Users Posts: 32 Enda63


    I wouldn't say it destroyed my life, I didn't have a choice either, but it did have a major effect on most of the choices I made afterwards.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12 minnie10


    Hi Kleo,

    Can you tell me were you in Dunboyne in 1975 or later, just as you last wrote that you remember one mother who's daughter was sent to stamullen untill she was adopted and was then adopted from dunboyne. Just sounds so like my story, but no doubt this was a similar story for so many??


  • Registered Users Posts: 2 martina74


    hi i was born in june 1974 BM stayed in Dunboyne she is originally from Monaghan, i have since met and spoken to here a few times but it is always me who is insticating everything i went looking for here and i am the one who phones here. She sends me a xmas card every year but that is it. I am wondering if i am giving her more pain than anything else keeping in contact as i feel she doesnt want to and after reading some of these threads i can understand why she wouldnt want too either. :confused:. I would love to get in contact with BF but i have to ask here and the one and only time i tried talking to here about the adoption she closed up and didnt want to speak about it, I dont blame here one bit i have wonderful parents who love and respect me for who i am and even when i got pregnant myself the have helped me through it all and would never swop them for the world but it would be nice to get to know where i came. if anybody can give me any advice i would truely appreciate it


  • Registered Users Posts: 3 avoncon


    i was there .im a wreck.im alone.help


  • Registered Users Posts: 11 Kleo


    Hi Minnie....
    Sorry to disappoint you but I was their in late 78/early 79...but dont give up on your search for your BM..every story has a ending, may be not a fairytale ending..but I hope for you ,it is a happy one...


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 11 Kleo


    avoncon wrote: »
    i was there .im a wreck.im alone.help

    Hi avoncon,

    Please believe me when I say you are not alone..you only have to read the story's here to know that we understand what your feeling ..if I or any one else here can help you in any way please contact me .kleo


  • Registered Users Posts: 3 avoncon


    thanks cleo.i thought i had my life together.last december it fell apart.after a serious ,shall we call it an episode,i eventually went to talk to a councellor.after 30 years i thought it was time.with a lot of persuasion from my new family.i told him about my daughter.i told him about dunboyne.i told him how i felt.do you know what he said to me?THESE THINGS HAPPEN.MOVE ON.YOU LOOK LIKE A VERY SOCIABLE PERSON.GO FOR A WALK.IT RELEASES ENDORPHINES AND MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER.apart from the fact that he knew nothing about me.why didnt i realise i could have cured all my 30 years of pain with a walk.my now daughter that i have and who i kept,tells me sarcasm does not become me.i suppose shes right,i have good and bad days.i wonder everyday is this what my life is going to consist of?waking up every morning wondering do i want to get up today?can i face the world today?or its great to be alive.three people in one.thats how i feel.i would love to go back to the time when i woke up every morning,and i knew i was just me.i didnt realise how much of dunboyne i had erased from my memory.two years ago if i had been asked questions about that time in my life,im not sure if the answers would have been real .i would have sworn at the time that they would have been.Since i found this thread,i have shocked myself.there are so many details i blocked in my mind.i shocked myself at how much i had forgotten or just didnt realise happened.i just feell i have ,what was the word the nuns used?attoned for my sins.do i not deserve some peace yet?after 30 years can i have me back please?how life has changed.my 17 year old had a baby,who is the joy of my life.guess what?hes a great dad.thanks for listening.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3 Trevz


    My Mother was there and had to give birth and forced to hand over her first born my Sister who eventually traced us. It was in the 1960's my mother never recovered from the trauma of that place :-(


  • Registered Users Posts: 29 teddybug


    avoncon wrote: »
    thanks cleo.i thought i had my life together.last december it fell apart.after a serious ,shall we call it an episode,i eventually went to talk to a councellor.after 30 years i thought it was time.with a lot of persuasion from my new family.i told him about my daughter.i told him about dunboyne.i told him how i felt.do you know what he said to me?THESE THINGS HAPPEN.MOVE ON.YOU LOOK LIKE A VERY SOCIABLE PERSON.GO FOR A WALK.IT RELEASES ENDORPHINES AND MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER.apart from the fact that he knew nothing about me.why didnt i realise i could have cured all my 30 years of pain with a walk.my now daughter that i have and who i kept,tells me sarcasm does not become me.i suppose shes right,i have good and bad days.i wonder everyday is this what my life is going to consist of?waking up every morning wondering do i want to get up today?can i face the world today?or its great to be alive.three people in one.thats how i feel.i would love to go back to the time when i woke up every morning,and i knew i was just me.i didnt realise how much of dunboyne i had erased from my memory.two years ago if i had been asked questions about that time in my life,im not sure if the answers would have been real .i would have sworn at the time that they would have been.Since i found this thread,i have shocked myself.there are so many details i blocked in my mind.i shocked myself at how much i had forgotten or just didnt realise happened.i just feell i have ,what was the word the nuns used?attoned for my sins.do i not deserve some peace yet?after 30 years can i have me back please?how life has changed.my 17 year old had a baby,who is the joy of my life.guess what?hes a great dad.thanks for listening.
    were u there from april til aug or sept 1983??????


  • Registered Users Posts: 29 teddybug


    FEEL EXACTLY LIKE U WUD LIKE 2 TALK WIT U EITHER PRIVATELY OR ON THREADS IF U WANT TAKE CARE


  • Registered Users Posts: 33 Elizvonne


    Hi Avoncon
    Hugs, like most birth mums you suffered a huge trauma that you were never allowed speak of. I don't think that people who have not touched by adoption can understand the loss that birthmothers suffered. You should contact Barnardos, they have a list of counsellors who specialise in adoption. Best wishes
    Elizvonne


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 1 hazeldee


    i was there in 1984


  • Registered Users Posts: 41 Mazdoll


    Hello Ladies and some Gentlemen,

    Overwhelmed by this thread...thank you to all who have shared, read and contributed to it.....its fizzles with our emotions....we are our own little community of women who share the same experience, but all of us have a sense of loss. This is a very private thing for alot of woman still...I hope its given a sense of freedom to some by just posting here, I know it has for me.


    Our paths are entwinned by the experience we share here together, acknowledge your pain grief and sense of loss, we all left part of ourselves in that place.....take back that energy it yours......embrace life and love it....Iv wasted so much of mine in the past...not any more....my experiences have moulded me into the woman I am today...bumps lumps and a fishwifes mouth if ya fall foul of me.....

    But im me...and im proud of it

    xxxxx Hugs to everyone of you xxxxx


  • Registered Users Posts: 6 marybridget86


    This Thread is one of the most important threads ever started , especially for those of us with our hidden pasts, with no one to talk to . A shame that was never ours to begin with, only passed on from ignorance . I am glad so many people have taken comfort from this thread and realised that they were not the problem. Unfortunately, the ultimate sacrifice was made, by a lot of us. Those of us who were forced into a situation ,( by family , friends or outsiders) of signing away our little Angels. Thankfully our experiences and discussions have acted as a catalyst towards a better understanding and awareness of teenage pregnancy .
    Thanks Mazdoll.












    Mazdoll wrote: »
    Hello Ladies and some Gentlemen,

    Overwhelmed by this thread...thank you to all who have shared, read and contributed to it.....its fizzles with our emotions....we are our own little community of women who share the same experience, but all of us have a sense of loss. This is a very private thing for alot of woman still...I hope its given a sense of freedom to some by just posting here, I know it has for me.


    Our paths are entwinned by the experience we share here together, acknowledge your pain grief and sense of loss, we all left part of ourselves in that place.....take back that energy it yours......embrace life and love it....Iv wasted so much of mine in the past...not any more....my experiences have moulded me into the woman I am today...bumps lumps and a fishwifes mouth if ya fall foul of me.....

    But im me...and im proud of it

    xxxxx Hugs to everyone of you xxxxx


  • Registered Users Posts: 1 MarieB1973


    Were you there in 1973?after almost 40 years I've finally had counselling and starting to come to terms and deal with everything.


  • Registered Users Posts: 33 Elizvonne


    BIRTHMOTHERS COURSE

    Barnardos are planning to run a Birthmothers course in Spring 2014. If you know anyone who might be interested, please pass this on. Contact Barnardos Post Adoption Services Tel: (01) 8134100 or email adoption@barnardos.ie


  • Advertisement
Advertisement