Good Shepherd Convent Dunboyne

hi,
no-one in my opinion will ever get an apology from the nuns, who ruined so many lives. through one mistake that will live with us a lifetime:(

I was in dunboyne in 1976 i managed to keep my baby in those days women under 21 had no rights luckily I was Bolshi and insisted on reading everything otherwise i would of signed my girl away sometimes the girls there were made to feel they had no option not necessarily by the nuns but by their own families this seems to be have been forgotten hope you all realise we n you had none or very little control there were very few of us who were strong or naive to think we could go alone .

Who the book Mrs moneypenny?

Jackeen68 wrote: »

Hi Zosk! I just came across this thread and it has tears streaming down my face. I was at Ard Mhuire from 1986 until March 1987. Were you there then? I slept in the "Blue" room. I can't remember the name they gave me but my real name is Sandra. Would love to connect with others who were there at same time.

That's the same time I was there. Had my son on the 18th of March. They didn't make me change my name Caroline

Hi , I was there from July 1980 until November 1980, i had my baby taken away from me, i will never forget trying to look out a window at them taking him away .. i have 2 photographs , nothing more. I too had blanked out most of my stay, some of it is coming back as i read these stories.. I had my son christened there and a girl called Margaruite stood for him, she had a disability which caused her to limp..My life has been difficult and i always seem to struggle. i have a lovely son but i always feel i can cope with anything because nothing can hurt more than my baby been taken from me and never been able to talk about it, my life will never be complete..
Thank you for letting me and others like us know how you too feel...x

Hi ilovemyweedogs and teddybug

It's so sad when you think that babies were taken and not one ounce of support to the birth mothers. I'm in reunion with my son since last year and after initial contact I was all over the place. Having to deal with and accept what we had both went through. I contacted Barnardos and I have to say they were brilliant. They run courses for birthparents and adoptees.

For anyone who is not aware of the services see below:

Barnardos post adoption services offer support to birth parents. They also offer courses to both birth parents and adoptees.

Contact details below

If you would like more information about our Post Adoption Service, please contact us.

Dublin

A: Barnardos Post Adoption Service, 23/24 Buckingham Street, Dublin 1
T: +353 1 813 4100
E: adoption@barnardos.ie

Directions to our centre

Helpline

T: 01 454 6388
(Open 10am - 1pm, every Tuesday & Thursday)

To elizvonne ,congrats on ur reunion with your son ,i sincerely hope u have a long and wonderfull relationship with your son you deserve it after all the years you were without him ....

Do you have a link? I wouldnt be a bit surprised, they were giving babies away for adoption and getting girls as young as 14 to sign adoption order/ papers without any adult /guardian signature. Under 18 you cant sign a legal document, even back in 60s and 70s.

survived wrote: »

If anyone is interested in getting their records from dunboyne i have just recieved info that the records can be obtained from HSE North Eastern area. Regional Adoption Service, Child and family Centre, Dublin Rd, Drogheda, Co. Louth. I have not contacted them myself yet as im not sure if its a good or bad idea ???? if anyone has already done this id love to hear from them.

I wrote to HSE 2 months ago, requesting a copy of my file, and to date have not received a response or acknowledgement of my letter from them. Has anyone else contacted them and successfully received their file?

Woman claims her baby was adopted without her consent



31 MAY 2013
A WOMAN who claims her baby was put up for adoption in the 1970s without her permission is entitled to sue for damages even though she is not contesting the adoption order, the High Court ruled.


The woman is suing a religious order and the HSE, as successor to the adoption agency which arranged the placement of her daughter more than 40 years ago, claiming the adoption was done without her knowledge while she was a resident with the order.

She claims she was not even consulted when, as a teen mother, the baby was taken for adoption. She says she suffered psychological harm, among other injuries, due to the defendants' alleged negligence, breach of duty and breach of her constitutional rights.

She also claims fraud and undue influence in relation to documents she allegedly signed by her for the adoption.

The claims are denied.

Mr Justice Sean Ryan, who said the parties, with the exception of the HSE, should not be identified at this stage, described the case as a difficult, sensitive and painful one.

The judge was only dealing with a preliminary issue as to whether she could sue for damages if she was not contesting the validity of the adoption order.

She had no desire to upset the arrangement which had been made for her now adult child but was confining her claim to the alleged wrongs done to her, the judge said.

The defendants had argued she was not entitled to claim damages without first challenging the validity of the adoption order and without also possibly bringing others into the case, such as the child, the adoptive parents and the Adoption Authority of Ireland.

Hi June,
I have not met her yet. As she feels it is not the right time. I also know her new christian name that her adopted parents gave her. She is really happy and is studying Law and loves her mum, dad and her two brothers.
I feel it would be very selfish of me to keep going on about wanting to meet her, when she is obviously very happy.
I deserved to be ignored by her, after all I did give her away.I am just so relieved to know, she has had a wonderful life and a mum and dad who love her dearly. They have given her everything. When all I could offer her was my love. I had no family support whatsoever, and if I never get the chance too hold her one last time and let her know, I love her with all my heart and think about her every single day since she was born. I know what I did was for her.

Kind regards,
Margaet

Hi,
Thank you so very much for your reply.

I really hope you do meet her, hopefully you can be allowed some sort of relationship with one another and your children can get to know their sister.

Kind regards,

Margaret.

I think it sad to hear that some mothers never get to meet or see the children they gave up for adoption, especially if they didn't want to but were forced. My cousin had to give her son up for adoption but managed to trace him. He didn't want to meet her and sadly she passed away without getting to met him.

Being adopted my self I often wonder if it would be the other way round, that my mother wouldn't want to meet me, hence why i haven't tried to make contact.

I wish anyone who gave up a child or children who want to be found are someday reunited.

minnie10 wrote: »

Hi there,

Can you tell my if the home in stamullen was an orphanage? Its just that I have a medical admission form which my adopted mother was given when she got me and I often wondered if I hadn't been adopted at that time, was I going to be sent to stamullen. Was that where some babies were sent while waiting to be adopted or was this a similar home to dunboyne. Would love to know!!

Hi Minnie... It was both, I was in Dunboyne in the late 70ts and was lucky enough to keep my baby but he spent 6 wks in Stamullen until my parents came round to the idea...if they had not ,he would have been adopted from there...

Hi Minnie,
I'm not sure but I think it is likely that babies from Dunboyne were adopted from Stamullen. I was meant to do my "children's nursing training" in the "children and babies home" Stamullen in 1978 but when i became pregnant Sr Regina (I think) who was matron (?) there gave me details to contact Dunboyne. My post was redirected from there so there was quite a bit of collaboration between the two. I wasn't in Dunboyne long enough to form an opinion on the exact nature of that relationship but it is probable that Stamullen was run by the Good Sheppard order also. Marmer

Thanks for that Junemay, I'm delighted for you, that you have finally received something.

minnie10 wrote: »

Hi Kleo,

Thanks for that! I was born in May 1975 and adopted in December 1975. I was told that the mother was given this time to change her mind, so that was why it was so long after my birth that the adoption took place.

My adopted mother said that she got me from The Proical House in Dunboyne. I wonder was i actually stayed in Stamullen until the adoption but my parents picked me up in Dunboye as the priest who arranged the adoption for me met my parents there. So can you tell me how long after a baby was born did you get to stay in dunboyne. Like in your case, did you go home while your baby was in stamullen or did you stay in dunboyne? Thanks a million.

minnie10

Hi Minnie

In my case I was 3 weeks I'm Dunboyne after my baby was born...then he was taken to Stamullem untill I was able to bring him home..I used to visit him there 2/3 times a week....No baby's were kept in Dunboyne after ther Mothers left as there was no one to take care of them...but I know of I baby who went to Stamullen for a few weeks untill her Mum gave her up for adoption and she was handed over to her new parents in Dunboyne...hope that is some help....
Kleo..

I wouldn't say it destroyed my life, I didn't have a choice either, but it did have a major effect on most of the choices I made afterwards.

hi i was born in june 1974 BM stayed in Dunboyne she is originally from Monaghan, i have since met and spoken to here a few times but it is always me who is insticating everything i went looking for here and i am the one who phones here. She sends me a xmas card every year but that is it. I am wondering if i am giving her more pain than anything else keeping in contact as i feel she doesnt want to and after reading some of these threads i can understand why she wouldnt want too either. . I would love to get in contact with BF but i have to ask here and the one and only time i tried talking to here about the adoption she closed up and didnt want to speak about it, I dont blame here one bit i have wonderful parents who love and respect me for who i am and even when i got pregnant myself the have helped me through it all and would never swop them for the world but it would be nice to get to know where i came. if anybody can give me any advice i would truely appreciate it

Hi Minnie....
Sorry to disappoint you but I was their in late 78/early 79...but dont give up on your search for your BM..every story has a ending, may be not a fairytale ending..but I hope for you ,it is a happy one...

thanks cleo.i thought i had my life together.last december it fell apart.after a serious ,shall we call it an episode,i eventually went to talk to a councellor.after 30 years i thought it was time.with a lot of persuasion from my new family.i told him about my daughter.i told him about dunboyne.i told him how i felt.do you know what he said to me?THESE THINGS HAPPEN.MOVE ON.YOU LOOK LIKE A VERY SOCIABLE PERSON.GO FOR A WALK.IT RELEASES ENDORPHINES AND MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER.apart from the fact that he knew nothing about me.why didnt i realise i could have cured all my 30 years of pain with a walk.my now daughter that i have and who i kept,tells me sarcasm does not become me.i suppose shes right,i have good and bad days.i wonder everyday is this what my life is going to consist of?waking up every morning wondering do i want to get up today?can i face the world today?or its great to be alive.three people in one.thats how i feel.i would love to go back to the time when i woke up every morning,and i knew i was just me.i didnt realise how much of dunboyne i had erased from my memory.two years ago if i had been asked questions about that time in my life,im not sure if the answers would have been real .i would have sworn at the time that they would have been.Since i found this thread,i have shocked myself.there are so many details i blocked in my mind.i shocked myself at how much i had forgotten or just didnt realise happened.i just feell i have ,what was the word the nuns used?attoned for my sins.do i not deserve some peace yet?after 30 years can i have me back please?how life has changed.my 17 year old had a baby,who is the joy of my life.guess what?hes a great dad.thanks for listening.

avoncon wrote: »

thanks cleo.i thought i had my life together.last december it fell apart.after a serious ,shall we call it an episode,i eventually went to talk to a councellor.after 30 years i thought it was time.with a lot of persuasion from my new family.i told him about my daughter.i told him about dunboyne.i told him how i felt.do you know what he said to me?THESE THINGS HAPPEN.MOVE ON.YOU LOOK LIKE A VERY SOCIABLE PERSON.GO FOR A WALK.IT RELEASES ENDORPHINES AND MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER.apart from the fact that he knew nothing about me.why didnt i realise i could have cured all my 30 years of pain with a walk.my now daughter that i have and who i kept,tells me sarcasm does not become me.i suppose shes right,i have good and bad days.i wonder everyday is this what my life is going to consist of?waking up every morning wondering do i want to get up today?can i face the world today?or its great to be alive.three people in one.thats how i feel.i would love to go back to the time when i woke up every morning,and i knew i was just me.i didnt realise how much of dunboyne i had erased from my memory.two years ago if i had been asked questions about that time in my life,im not sure if the answers would have been real .i would have sworn at the time that they would have been.Since i found this thread,i have shocked myself.there are so many details i blocked in my mind.i shocked myself at how much i had forgotten or just didnt realise happened.i just feell i have ,what was the word the nuns used?attoned for my sins.do i not deserve some peace yet?after 30 years can i have me back please?how life has changed.my 17 year old had a baby,who is the joy of my life.guess what?hes a great dad.thanks for listening.

were u there from april til aug or sept 1983??????

Hi Avoncon
Hugs, like most birth mums you suffered a huge trauma that you were never allowed speak of. I don't think that people who have not touched by adoption can understand the loss that birthmothers suffered. You should contact Barnardos, they have a list of counsellors who specialise in adoption. Best wishes
Elizvonne

Were you there in 1973?after almost 40 years I've finally had counselling and starting to come to terms and deal with everything.