DILEMMA: gay in the changing room

1ZRed wrote: »

This is so thick. This thread came up about a month or two ago.

Gay guys don't behave the same as a straight guy would in a changing room because we're so used to changing rooms that we can separate between an erotic situation and not.

Lets go back to the example using women and straight men. Straight men can make also make the above mental separation around women - they are presumably no less capable of not drooling all over women getting changed. But:

(a) some might be a bit more pervy, and
(b) even if he is perfectly innocent, a woman doesn't know that. The very idea that he might be ogling her body can be enough to make many women uncomfortable.

The above scenarios also apply to gay men and straight men imo. As a gay guy, I *do* notice naked guys in the changing room or showering, just as a straight man would notice a naked woman doing the same. I keep my eyes down and try to avoid it, but the noticing, that mental flash where you think "he's attractive" or "he's not"...it happens. Short of having a labotomy, I'm not sure how that mental flash can be prevented. And the fact it happens can be enough to make everyone uncomfortable.

I find it odd that a gay guy would consider a rethink of changing rooms. I suspect insecurity on both ends if a gay man or straight man is unwilling to share a changing room.

I'm not insecure about it. i would be perfectly comfortable and practical about this if I didn't think straight guys think about it too. I don;t know if they do, but if they're not comfortable then that makes me uncomfortable too. it's sometimes enough to make me hang back when someone I vaguely know is using the changing room.

beks101 wrote: »

I think men check men out and women check women out regardless of sexuality.

Sometimes I've caught myself having a sneaky look in the changing rooms, sizing up the competition as it were. Some women are seriously fit, toned and hot, you can't help but look. Even if they're not, naked bodies are fascinating to pretty much everyone.

Or maybe I'm just a giant pervert

I think you're right. We are not machines, we probably all notice naked people, maybe even judge other people's bodies in the gym.

But put it this way. I have very little interest in seeing a woman naked, but I would feel uncomfortable about changing in the women's room because she doesn't know that, or she might think "is he checking me out?". Similarly I find my changing room about as sexual as a sheep eating a turnip, but it's uncomfortable for the same reason if the guys there don't know that.

Short of broadcasting the fact that "this doesn't turn me on you know", (which for sure means the person saying it is turned on), I'm not sure there's any way of getting around that.