Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons calling to the door

Ranicand · 11-04-2013 08:57PM #1

In all honesty you don't see them anymore but it use to be funny.

I told one I was a Devil Worshiper to get rid of him and he went on to tell me about the evils of this kind of thing.

I know they think they are saving our souls.:D

Anybody any funny stories or funny moments?

In fairness these people are harmless and the little books Jehovah's Witnesses use to leave were very funny showing people and Lions and Tigers living together in a future all happy earth.

EoghanIRL · 11-04-2013 08:58PM

I'm an atheist thank god.
Still fcukin annoying.

Grayson · 11-04-2013 09:07PM

Had the legion of mary once as well.

To be fair, when the jehovahs came, they brought a hottie.

CiDeRmAn · 11-04-2013 09:10PM

I met one on the street years ago, I had nothing else to do so I kept him there for 25 minutes, explaining evolution and elementary cosmology, he ran away in the end!

Cantona's Collars · 11-04-2013 09:10PM

Grayson wrote: »

.

To be fair, when the jehovahs came, they brought a hottie.

They always do.

Myself & a mate of mine trolled 2 of them one day in Waterford,ended up getting one guy to admit he found the other fella attractive,I reckon the rest of their day knocking doors was a tad uncomfortable:D

Seachmall · 11-04-2013 09:11PM

Seachmall wrote: »

"Do you believe God offers tests for his followers to pass?"

"Yes, of course."

"Give me your wallet."

"Excuse me?"

"'Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.' - Luke 6:30"

"I don't think that's what's meant..."

"Either prove your faithfulness or stop trying to convince me of something you yourself are not convinced of!"

Quoting myself but it's relevant. That Bible reference should be glued to your front door.

missingtime · 11-04-2013 09:12PM

EoghanIRL wrote: »

I'm an atheist thank god.

O.o

wendell borton · 11-04-2013 09:13PM

The mormans will eventually convert you op, dead or alive.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baptism_for_the_dead

tayto lover · 11-04-2013 09:16PM

CiDeRmAn wrote: »

I met one on the street years ago, I had nothing else to do so I kept him there for 25 minutes, explaining evolution and elementary cosmology, he ran away in the end!

I used to bring them in and ask them questions -

How many wives can i get if i join and have you any pictures of them?
What's the pay like?

Things like that.
Funny they never come back.

Bullseye1 · 11-04-2013 09:29PM

The solution
FDC83CEB-2CD5-45D2-B47D-7C1582D8E4A5-2796-000004C9981D09F8_zpsb455a303.jpg

NuckingFacker · 11-04-2013 10:16PM

My old lad used to be delighted when they called, his whole face would light up. He'd drag the poor unfortunates into the sitting room and bore them sh*tless with his version of what was wrong with their faith. The poor sods didn't stand a chance. We used to bring them in tea to make sure they were still ok. They used to run out the door in the end like they were fleeing death itself. He was oblivious to the suffering he caused.

Joey the lips · 11-04-2013 10:19PM

They don't bother me tbh. If I have time I will talk to them if I don't I won't. I am of the understanding that they are dedicated to there beliefs and I would afford them five minutes.

Matt Simis · 11-04-2013 10:50PM

Joey the lips wrote: »

They don't bother me tbh. If I have time I will talk to them if I don't I won't. I am of the understanding that they are dedicated to there beliefs and I would afford them five minutes.

Why though? They want to convert you to their faith, not have you put in lip and ear service for no reason whatsoever. Ruins their time-to-conversion stats for the month.

Sergeant · 11-04-2013 10:55PM

Ranicand wrote: »

In all honesty you don't see them anymore but it use to be funny.

I don't remember it being that funny. They'd call to the door and try to persuade you to believe in what they believed in. You'd politely refuse and they would leave.

No chuckle-worthy moments in the memory bank.

admiralofthefleet · 11-04-2013 10:58PM

someone knocked on the door a while and asked me had i found god. i replied 'i didnt know he was missing'

Wattle · 11-04-2013 11:00PM

I think one of the heads in my fridge was a Jehovas Witness.

Whatsernamex33 · 11-04-2013 11:02PM

They're the worst people to have at your door, even worse than sales reps.

My mother made the unfortunate mistake of answering just a few weeks ago. Keep knocking once a week, for a few weeks now. And it's the same people. At all different times of the day too, morning or night. Stood at the door for ten minutes before giving up cuz no one was going to answer the door.

Probably was worse a few years ago when my mother let them into the house. :L

Frynge · 11-04-2013 11:05PM

A friend of a friend of my cousins hamster would bring them in saying he was just about to start the dishes. He would start filling the sink and ask them to boil the kettle for tea. He would then ask them to help with the dishes while he made tea. He would then sit down to a cup of tea waiting for the dishes to be finished before they would get ushered from the house..

Clondalphian · 11-04-2013 11:06PM

I had one guy(I think he was a JW) come to my door and had my reciting from the Bible. How I kept a straight face through it I'll never know.

Another time a couple of women came around trying to sell some Christian magazine. I told her I wasn't interested as I'm not religious. One of them then proceeded to give me evil looks and ask my why I wasn't religious."I'm just not" was my response and I shut the door on them. Can't wait for the next one to arrive at the door

BillyMitchel · 11-04-2013 11:06PM

Get the legion of Mary all the time and its hard to be a bollocks to them because they are all about 150.

JW never really bothered me, used to feel sorry for them actually. Where I grew up they were always beat up and robbed for the top of the range scanda jackets that the junkies couldn't afford.

Sleepy · 11-04-2013 11:09PM

When my wife (then girlfriend) answered the door to two of them 5 years ago, my step-son who was then 2, had a full head of platinum blond hair and was going through that phase of undressing whenever anyone's back was turned ran up behind her buck naked holding a copy of Mein Kampf I'd left lying around. They never bothered us in that house again.

ColeTrain · 11-04-2013 11:11PM

My Grandmother died a few years ago. Before we were due to go the funeral home, the door bell rang. My brother got up to answer it and saw two women standing outside. I glanced out the window to see they were Jehovah's witnesses but my brother didn't recognise who they were.
He asked were they here for my Mother ( she is religious enough and had listened to them once or twice before ) When they replied "Yes" my brother insisted that they come in and pay their respects. He had them in the house before they could open their mouths. I'm sure they were taken aback by his kindness! He called out "Mum there's a few friends of yours here" I copped onto what was going on but let it continue, what ensued was an awkward moment, myself and my Dad had a good laugh though.

spankysue · 11-04-2013 11:26PM

My OH nearly ran over a JW a while ago while reversing out of the driveway after having a bit of a heated debate at the door. The JW was doing a lot of shouting and finger waving which didn't go down well with my OH, but we haven't had them knocking since

Siuin · 11-04-2013 11:29PM

I greeted a jehovah witness wearing a burka I'd gotten on holidays.

Haven't darkened my doorstep since

EireIceMan · 11-04-2013 11:30PM

EoghanIRL wrote: »

I'm an atheist thank god.

heheh

Prodigious · 11-04-2013 11:32PM

EoghanIRL wrote: »

I'm an atheist thank god.

:pac:

11-04-2013 11:38PM

Frynge wrote: »

A friend of a friend of my cousins hamster would bring them in saying he was just about to start the dishes. He would start filling the sink and ask them to boil the kettle for tea. He would then ask them to help with the dishes while he made tea. He would then sit down to a cup of tea waiting for the dishes to be finished before they would get ushered from the house..

Hamster? what?

Bipolar Joe · 11-04-2013 11:42PM

My Pop is a Mormon, so the Missionaries recognise me. At my last place they knocked, and saw who I am. They're pretty OK people, apart from a scared refusal to think for themselves.

I played "The Reverse Game" with a few of them, where you just flip around the more bigoted bits (Gays can't marry, blah blah). Most were accepting, apart from one dude whose face went red and was getting visibly angry. I told him he could either chill out or go shill his ponzi scheme somewhere else. Mostly we just sat around and talked about music and how cool the Universe is, and why we thought our side made it more beautiful.

The only funny part of it is that I look like the Western depiction of Jesus.

fasttalkerchat · 11-04-2013 11:43PM

How long after the Big Bang was God formed?
Ah son, god was there from the very start, before even light existed.

Some physics believe time is circular. When was the start?
Eh... all the answers are in here *hands bible*.

bgrizzley · 11-04-2013 11:43PM

Sleepy wrote: »

When my wife (then girlfriend) answered the door to two of them 5 years ago, my step-son who was then 2, had a full head of platinum blond hair and was going through that phase of undressing whenever anyone's back was turned ran up behind her buck naked holding a copy of Mein Kampf I'd left lying around. They never bothered us in that house again.

thats not a phase, i still do it!!!

Antar Bolaeisk · 11-04-2013 11:43PM

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

How long after the Big Bang was God formed?
Ah son, god was there from the very start, before even light existed.

Some physics believe time is circular. When was the start?
Eh... all the answers are in here *hands bible*.

What was here before here was here?

Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons calling to the door

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