Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons calling to the door

Ranicand

In all honesty you don't see them anymore but it use to be funny.

I told one I was a Devil Worshiper to get rid of him and he went on to tell me about the evils of this kind of thing.

I know they think they are saving our souls.:D

Anybody any funny stories or funny moments?

In fairness these people are harmless and the little books Jehovah's Witnesses use to leave were very funny showing people and Lions and Tigers living together in a future all happy earth.

EoghanIRL

I'm an atheist thank god.
Still fcukin annoying.

Grayson

Had the legion of mary once as well.

To be fair, when the jehovahs came, they brought a hottie.

CiDeRmAn

I met one on the street years ago, I had nothing else to do so I kept him there for 25 minutes, explaining evolution and elementary cosmology, he ran away in the end!

Cantona's Collars

Grayson wrote: »

.

To be fair, when the jehovahs came, they brought a hottie.

They always do.

Myself & a mate of mine trolled 2 of them one day in Waterford,ended up getting one guy to admit he found the other fella attractive,I reckon the rest of their day knocking doors was a tad uncomfortable:D

Seachmall

Seachmall wrote: »

"Do you believe God offers tests for his followers to pass?"

"Yes, of course."

"Give me your wallet."

"Excuse me?"

"'Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.' - Luke 6:30"

"I don't think that's what's meant..."

"Either prove your faithfulness or stop trying to convince me of something you yourself are not convinced of!"

Quoting myself but it's relevant. That Bible reference should be glued to your front door.

missingtime

EoghanIRL wrote: »

I'm an atheist thank god.

O.o

wendell borton

The mormans will eventually convert you op, dead or alive.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baptism_for_the_dead

tayto lover

CiDeRmAn wrote: »

I met one on the street years ago, I had nothing else to do so I kept him there for 25 minutes, explaining evolution and elementary cosmology, he ran away in the end!

I used to bring them in and ask them questions -

How many wives can i get if i join and have you any pictures of them?
What's the pay like?

Things like that.
Funny they never come back.

Bullseye1

The solution

NuckingFacker

My old lad used to be delighted when they called, his whole face would light up. He'd drag the poor unfortunates into the sitting room and bore them sh*tless with his version of what was wrong with their faith. The poor sods didn't stand a chance. We used to bring them in tea to make sure they were still ok. They used to run out the door in the end like they were fleeing death itself. He was oblivious to the suffering he caused.

Joey the lips

They don't bother me tbh. If I have time I will talk to them if I don't I won't. I am of the understanding that they are dedicated to there beliefs and I would afford them five minutes.

Matt Simis

Joey the lips wrote: »

They don't bother me tbh. If I have time I will talk to them if I don't I won't. I am of the understanding that they are dedicated to there beliefs and I would afford them five minutes.

Why though? They want to convert you to their faith, not have you put in lip and ear service for no reason whatsoever. Ruins their time-to-conversion stats for the month.

Sergeant

Ranicand wrote: »

In all honesty you don't see them anymore but it use to be funny.

I don't remember it being that funny. They'd call to the door and try to persuade you to believe in what they believed in. You'd politely refuse and they would leave.

No chuckle-worthy moments in the memory bank.

admiralofthefleet

someone knocked on the door a while and asked me had i found god. i replied 'i didnt know he was missing'

Wattle

I think one of the heads in my fridge was a Jehovas Witness.

Whatsernamex33

They're the worst people to have at your door, even worse than sales reps.

My mother made the unfortunate mistake of answering just a few weeks ago. Keep knocking once a week, for a few weeks now. And it's the same people. At all different times of the day too, morning or night. Stood at the door for ten minutes before giving up cuz no one was going to answer the door.

Probably was worse a few years ago when my mother let them into the house. :L

Frynge

A friend of a friend of my cousins hamster would bring them in saying he was just about to start the dishes. He would start filling the sink and ask them to boil the kettle for tea. He would then ask them to help with the dishes while he made tea. He would then sit down to a cup of tea waiting for the dishes to be finished before they would get ushered from the house..

Clondalphian

I had one guy(I think he was a JW) come to my door and had my reciting from the Bible. How I kept a straight face through it I'll never know.

Another time a couple of women came around trying to sell some Christian magazine. I told her I wasn't interested as I'm not religious. One of them then proceeded to give me evil looks and ask my why I wasn't religious."I'm just not" was my response and I shut the door on them. Can't wait for the next one to arrive at the door

BillyMitchel

Get the legion of Mary all the time and its hard to be a bollocks to them because they are all about 150.

JW never really bothered me, used to feel sorry for them actually. Where I grew up they were always beat up and robbed for the top of the range scanda jackets that the junkies couldn't afford.

Sleepy

When my wife (then girlfriend) answered the door to two of them 5 years ago, my step-son who was then 2, had a full head of platinum blond hair and was going through that phase of undressing whenever anyone's back was turned ran up behind her buck naked holding a copy of Mein Kampf I'd left lying around. They never bothered us in that house again.

ColeTrain

My Grandmother died a few years ago. Before we were due to go the funeral home, the door bell rang. My brother got up to answer it and saw two women standing outside. I glanced out the window to see they were Jehovah's witnesses but my brother didn't recognise who they were.
He asked were they here for my Mother ( she is religious enough and had listened to them once or twice before ) When they replied "Yes" my brother insisted that they come in and pay their respects. He had them in the house before they could open their mouths. I'm sure they were taken aback by his kindness! He called out "Mum there's a few friends of yours here" I copped onto what was going on but let it continue, what ensued was an awkward moment, myself and my Dad had a good laugh though.

spankysue

My OH nearly ran over a JW a while ago while reversing out of the driveway after having a bit of a heated debate at the door. The JW was doing a lot of shouting and finger waving which didn't go down well with my OH, but we haven't had them knocking since

Siuin

I greeted a jehovah witness wearing a burka I'd gotten on holidays.









Haven't darkened my doorstep since

EireIceMan

EoghanIRL wrote: »

I'm an atheist thank god.

heheh

Prodigious

EoghanIRL wrote: »

I'm an atheist thank god.

:pac:

Frynge

Frynge wrote: »

A friend of a friend of my cousins hamster would bring them in saying he was just about to start the dishes. He would start filling the sink and ask them to boil the kettle for tea. He would then ask them to help with the dishes while he made tea. He would then sit down to a cup of tea waiting for the dishes to be finished before they would get ushered from the house..

Hamster? what?

Bipolar Joe

My Pop is a Mormon, so the Missionaries recognise me. At my last place they knocked, and saw who I am. They're pretty OK people, apart from a scared refusal to think for themselves.

I played "The Reverse Game" with a few of them, where you just flip around the more bigoted bits (Gays can't marry, blah blah). Most were accepting, apart from one dude whose face went red and was getting visibly angry. I told him he could either chill out or go shill his ponzi scheme somewhere else. Mostly we just sat around and talked about music and how cool the Universe is, and why we thought our side made it more beautiful.

The only funny part of it is that I look like the Western depiction of Jesus.

fasttalkerchat

How long after the Big Bang was God formed?
Ah son, god was there from the very start, before even light existed.

Some physics believe time is circular. When was the start?
Eh... all the answers are in here *hands bible*.

bgrizzley

Sleepy wrote: »

When my wife (then girlfriend) answered the door to two of them 5 years ago, my step-son who was then 2, had a full head of platinum blond hair and was going through that phase of undressing whenever anyone's back was turned ran up behind her buck naked holding a copy of Mein Kampf I'd left lying around. They never bothered us in that house again.

thats not a phase, i still do it!!!

Antar Bolaeisk

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

How long after the Big Bang was God formed?
Ah son, god was there from the very start, before even light existed.

Some physics believe time is circular. When was the start?
Eh... all the answers are in here *hands bible*.

What was here before here was here?

guppy

I live quite close to a Mormon worship centre, so I grew up with them knocking weekly. They stopped that practice years ago though, but I did have callers recently. I just said "No thanks" and closed the door. They haven't called since......

A sort of amusing story : Was on the packed bus to Dublin city centre about 20 years ago and two church members got on. They proceeded to try to a "Ghost" (the film) scene by talking about a contagious rash one of them apparently had at the time (in the film, it's set in a packed lift). They found it highly amusing, the rest of us passengers were rolling our eyes so much I'm surprised the bus didnt topple.

I was once accosted in the street by two Asian girls going on about our mother god, whilst I was out for a walk, pushing my very young baby in his pram. I wouldn't put up with it these days, but they kept blocking me and going on and on. I actually felt really intimidated by them and it went on for about a half hour. Every time I tried to walk on, they'd let me move about a foot further. What finally got me away was my son crying for his feed. The best thing about that experience was that I will never allow myself to detained against my will by some ridiculous ingrained need to be polite, no matter what. If it happened again, I'd scream at them if I had to :mad:

kingofslaves

My nieghbour opposite my parents was welsh, the johovahs called to him one day and said 'do you know the first lines in the bible ' he replied 'yes would you like to hear them ?' they said yes so he recited all of genesis in welsh ! He had to learn it when he was at school, they were dumbfounded and left. Funny they never called on him again !!!

Frynge

bluewolf wrote: »

Hamster? what?

As in, I have no idea who did it. It was just an amusing story I once heard.


But on a serious not my dentists cat saw a women leave a pram on a bus because social welfare would just get her a new one.

southdublin87

See them all the time around Melbourne!

ElChe32

Was on erasmus in Sweden living in student apartments - electronic key to get into the building type job - on my floor were 3 apartments my own and two Spanish friends of mine, we'd always leave our doors open when we were home and just hang out in one apartment or the other. Anyway one day taking a quick shower I heard a knock on the door, and thinking it could only be one of my spanish amigos I decided.. **** it i'll answer it bollix naked and scare the ****e out of my friend.. i opened the door to two middle aged ladies with their Jehovah leaflets and prayer books. Supposedly they'd been let into the building by someone and were randomly knocking on doors..well they certainly had their work cut out that day. I politely told them that I no longer believed in organized religion without ever mentioning my own nakedness or making any apology for it. Needless to say I didn't see them the rest of my time there. Those were the days..

Joey the lips

Matt Simis wrote: »

Why though? They want to convert you to their faith, not have you put in lip and ear service for no reason whatsoever. Ruins their time-to-conversion stats for the month.

Simple really. I imagine as a believer in god that Jesus and his crew had th same trouble in there day,,,

johnny_knoxvile

when they call I tend to quote Samuel 15:2,3,7&8

"now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all they have, and spare them not, but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling..."

All this while waving a 16" glow in the dark yellow dildo around wildly usually moves them on.

smurgen

have two friends who are mormons, a bit weird but sound sound none the less, seems constantly happy.My mothers friend has a bunch of Jehovahs who called to her house 10 years ago and they get on really well, still call around every 2 weeks or so for a cup of tea! Last time I was home in Cork I ran into two when I was going up Blarney street and they asked me for directions to Knocknahenny, the poor lads would have been robbed of their back packs and perfect suit jackets if I sent them up to Knocka so I just sent them down Sundays well.

RoboRat

I had a Jehovahs witness call to the door about 2 months ago and I completely melted his head with logic. In fairness, he was actually trying to get away from me rather than the other way around.

I started with his belief in Adam and Eve and moved over to evolution and how it cannot be argued that we evolved and that A&E was symbolic rather than factual - he eventually conceded that. I then moved over to sex before marriage to which he completely disagreed with but I argued that if we evolved then when was marriage introduced. At what stage were we deemed to be conscious human beings and therefore, if it wasn't for copulation, we would never have even evolved to become conscious of a God in the first place. I also then brought up the Christian stance on homosexuality and how it is contradictory to say love one another yet then persecuting individuals for doing exactly that... it went on until I basically had pulled apart everything he was trying to tell me.

Truley

kingofslaves wrote: »

they said yes so he recited all of genesis in welsh ! He had to learn it when he was at school, they were dumbfounded and left. Funny they never called on him again !!!

They probably thought he was speaking in tongues :P

Cantona's Collars

According to Joey Essex on Celebrity Juice last night,Richard & Judy created the world.:pac:
I'd love the Jehovas to call to his house.

kylith

I've had them at the door a couple of times. One lad gave me a bit of attitude when I politely declined to talk to them. I wish I'd given him a piece of my mind; coming to my door disturbing me, then getting all snotty when I said 'no, thanks', the cheeky little sod.

iDave

I was on the 16 bus on Dorset St when a couple of American Mormons tried talking to me about 5 years ago. Said sorry I'm an atheist, I then realised I had my Meath GAA coat on and we came to that humpy little bridge over the canal where you get a full view of Croke Park. I then said thats my religion over there. Instead of them talking about Mormonism I ended up teaching them all about GAA all the way up to Whitehall. One of them asked why i was an atheist, as soon as I mentioned evolution he realised he had brough a knife to a gunfight.

deandean

Not many know this but both JWs and Mormons all carry a stick of chalk, after doorsteppping you they mark the gatepost of your house as they leave, they have special symbols denoting the occupants, e.g. whether you are 'easily convinced', or 'nutter - keep away' or 'potential wealthy benefactor'.

Unfortunately the criminal fraternity became aware of these chalk marks and are exploiting them for their own purposes, see this post:



So if you get a call from JWs and the Mormons (nice though they are ) do clean any chalk mark off your house afterwards. A wet cloth is best.

MRnotlob606

EoghanIRL wrote: »

I'm an atheist thank god.
Still fcukin annoying.

im atheist thank god huh ?

humbert

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

im atheist thank god huh ?

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/483/894/463.jpg

banie01

My own Favourite Mormon story is from my Granda, my aunt joined the Mormon religion in the early '90's and as seems par for the course when one becomes entwined in any of these ''Young'' Religions/Sects,the whole family were subjected to visits and attempted proselytization.
Anyway my Grandad had a voracious appetite for knowledge and as such he read the Book Of Mormon and the other books/literature they offered.
Then came the day when 2 fresh faced Jesus loving, apple pie eating, America is great, Mormon ''Elders''(Aged @22) called to discuss how his life had been changed since discovering Jesus' adventures in the Americas!
After listening to them for a bit, my grandfather proceeded to have a discussion with them about the dangers of magic mushrooms, particularly when someone has either a Messianic complex or Munchausen's syndrome!
They resorted to defending their belief with the mantra of God and faith and belief is knowing, so Granda went onto ask about verifiable archeological proof?
Anything from the native oral traditions or even something from the Semitic/Levant languages or traditions found in the American archeological record that could lend some credence to the basis of their faith?
Rather than blindly following the unverifiable ramblings of a borderline nutter with no actual physical proof other than the statements of some close friends who also just happened to gain great temporal power in their ''church'' through supporting Smith's claim

The 2 boys at that stage just abandoned the discussion and left....

Aglomerado

"Would you like to invite Jesus into your home?"
"Yeah, Ok, but you can wait outside."

A cousin of mine who owned a pub used to get them to clean the gutters and windows.

I don't mind JWs myself, even though I think most of what they preach is nonsense (the cap on numbers getting into heaven / attitude to blood transfusions). I find them far more interesting than Israeli "Artists", Airtricity bellends, "travelling" salespeople and door-to-door chuggers.

Pumpkinseeds

They only knock our door about once a year since they built their own church in the town. They really just call to extend a polite invitation to come to their church, we never do. Mostly we don't answer the door to people we don't know, I wouldn't buy anything from someone selling door to door.

Witchie

Not Jehovah Witnesses or Mormons but one day I had to drop my oldest son over to football practice which was only round the corner. It was too dark for him to walk. My other wee lad was watching something on tv. He was about 7 or 8 so I decided to leave him for the 5 mins I would be gone but warned him not to answer the door to ANYONE.

I arrived back a few mins later to see him reading a Hari Krisna book. I asked how he got that. He told me someone had rang the doorbell and he spoke to them through the letter box. The man asked was I there. My son said no. The man asked would he like a book and being an avid reader he eagerly said yes.

The Hari pushed the book through the letterbox and then asked for a donation. My son said he had no money. The man then said "Hari Krisna" and my son replied "a happy Christmas to you too" it was March.