''Friends with Benifits'' Can it work ?

Boscoirl · 03-04-2013 02:05PM

Mila Kunis, hot

Legs.Eleven · 03-04-2013 02:08PM

Mr Benevolent wrote: »

Yep, worked fine for me, it became a great relationship and 7 years later we're still together.

Is that not more an example of (excuse my ye olde terminology here) courting?

Sadderday · 03-04-2013 02:14PM

Go and meet someone new every couple of weeks that fancies you and wants to spend the night with you. Give yourself a boost... don't hang around with someone that thinks your handy.... really, wheres the buzz in that?

Hardonraging · 03-04-2013 02:27PM

anncoates wrote: »

Your ma gave it the OK then?

She did, fwd me your address and i'll have her drop round !

NothingMan wrote: »

I just love to cuddle .

Everyone loves a cuddle, if ure not geting a cuddle after sex then you need to re-evaluate said sex with said person .

Mr Benevolent wrote: »

Yep, worked fine for me, it became a great relationship and 7 years later we're still together.

I think you might have the idea a bit backwards, but congrats on the 7 year bit all the same

RATM · 03-04-2013 02:38PM

Sauve wrote: »

It will work only in a situation where neither party (truthfully) have ANY romantic feelings towards the other.
Being open and upfront, and knowing exactly where both people stand is very important.

This. Having been in a FwB situation a few times the above is defintely true.

It is probably never a good idea to be in that scenario with an ex but I've done it a couple of times, i.e. the relationship fizzled out but we both still wanted the physical side of things. But on more than one occasion it turned into one person falling for the other again so it had to stop before someone got hurt. Pity as the sex was good but that's life.

That said I have an ex in London and she pops across here at least once a year and we usually end up in the sack. It works well as there is a general acceptance that she is over there and I'm here so when she goes back nothing will come from it.

BillyMitchel · 03-04-2013 04:11PM

Had one for years and it was great craic, sly meet up after the pub and stuff.

All went down hill after she got pregnant!!

WittyKitty1 · 04-04-2013 07:08PM

I've no experience with it myself- a friend of mine does though and she was keeping her feelings for him secret which in turn got her hurt.

I think what Sauve said is definitely true:

Sauve wrote: »

It will work only in a situation where neither party (truthfully) have ANY romantic feelings towards the other.
.

Although, I couldn't imagine sleeping with any of my male friends or any man in general if I didn't have some sort of romantic feelings towards him - the idea of that is just creepy to me.. But hey, if it works for some people then fair play to them!

lennyloulou · 04-04-2013 07:21PM

Dare I say it!!!! Geordie Shore- That crappy MTV reality programme that my friends watch- a complete waste of time that I sometimes have to endure-group of twenty something year olds- boys & girls living together however one of them repeatedly shagging one of the lads after drink/night club - friends with benefits- anyhow she has now fell in love with this guy who would shag anything with a pulse. she is upset as she has developed these feelings
Moral of the story- I think it is mostly women that develop the feelings/want a relationship, men not as attached usually.

04-04-2013 07:23PM

lennyloulou wrote: »

Dare I say it!!!! Geordie Shore- That crappy MTV reality programme that my friends watch- a complete waste of time that I sometimes have to endure-group of twenty something year olds- boys & girls living together however one of them repeatedly shagging one of the lads after drink/night club - friends with benefits- anyhow she has now fell in love with this guy who would shag anything with a pulse. she is upset as she has developed these feelings
Moral of the story- I think it is mostly women that develop the feelings/want a relationship, men not as attached usually.

Because of one tv show?

Daveysil15 · 04-04-2013 07:24PM

It can work if she's a butterface.

YellowFeather · 04-04-2013 07:27PM

I think it's very rare that it can work! I've been in that situation a few times, and sooner or later, somebody would always fall and want more. Plus, I've been there with guys that I really liked as a friend, but it ended up that every time we met we'd end up having sex - instead of just meeting for chats.

I had one very successful one, but that's because we lived in different countries. We could chat away most of the time, and then rip the clothes off each other when we met up. Best of both worlds!

My worry about friends with benefits is that it can sour a friendship when one person has stronger feelings than the other.

In saying that - they're great fun!!!

herisson · 04-04-2013 07:35PM

It can work if there are genuinely no romantic feelings involved.

I've had 2 friends with benefits before. The first one was grand, lasted for a bit, haven't met up with him since October, only reason being is because we shared a taxi home. I stopped meeting up with him because he was an asshole. I've never had some make me feel like crap. He wasgiven the boot.

The second I developed feelings for. I told him and I said we should stop because we both knew I would get hurt in the end. And it wasn't worth it, no matter how good he was.

Im not against them, I'd gladly have a friend with benefits again but if one of us were to develop feelings, I would stop it entirely. It wouldn't be fair on the both of us.

WittyKitty1 · 04-04-2013 07:44PM

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

It can work if there are genuinely no romantic feelings involved.

Fair enough. But how on earth do you get into a situation like that with someone or even bring it up if theres no romantic feelings involved..You said you shared a taxi home and it happened, how do you even bring it up?
I'm pretty close to a few male friends of mine but I'd never talk about my sex life with them..

not judging anyone or anything, i'm genuinely interested in knowing how it could happen between two people who have absolutely no feelings for each other, unless there was some kind of flirting or something going on..

MistyCheese · 04-04-2013 07:47PM

Yes, I do believe so. I enjoyed a 'friends with benefits' situation with a man for a while. Our daughter is now six weeks old.

She's a bit of a bonus benefit.

herisson · 04-04-2013 07:52PM

WittyKitty1 wrote: »

Fair enough. But how on earth do you get into a situation like that with someone or even bring it up if theres no romantic feelings involved..You said you shared a taxi home and it happened, how do you even bring it up?
I'm pretty close to a few male friends of mine but I'd never talk about my sex life with them..

not judging anyone or anything, i'm genuinely interested in knowing how it could happen between two people who have absolutely no feelings for each other, unless there was some kind of flirting or something going on..

I get what you are saying. Everyone is different.

We were both severely drunk. He was dropped off first, suggest a night cap and then the inevitable just happened. We both enjoyed it and we said feck it we'd do it again. We didn't see the harm in it. We weren't awkward around each other after it, in turn he did show his true colours and was a Dickhead.

At the end of the day it was just sex, nothing more, nothing less.

Mr Benevolent · 04-04-2013 08:11PM

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Is that not more an example of (excuse my ye olde terminology here) courting?

Nope, we agreed that we were fuckbuddies, and after a couple of months of no contact we started seeing each other more and more, and after maybe 2-3 years we were in love. Still are, it's usually commented that we look like we're together only a few weeks.

smileyj1987 · 04-04-2013 09:33PM

It can work but don't develope feelings because they are for morons .

Auldloon · 04-04-2013 09:41PM

smileyj1987 wrote: »

It can work but don't develope feelings because they are for morons .

Oh dear....

Has worked great for me several times. Best scenario for me is a bird I know I would never fall for and to always keep it clear that its just a sex thing, last minute change of plan or cancel a few times etc. There's been one or 2 that wanted to take things further but they prob wanted that from the beginning anyway.

smurgen · 04-04-2013 10:02PM

i think so, i had an american one for the last 3 years or so,she'd come to where i lived every now and then and i'd call to her whenever i was in the states.very friendly with each other and i'd consider her a good friend. she has a boyfriend now and i'm not one bit jealous,so i'd say that was a successful friends with benefits situation.

Sarky · 04-04-2013 10:05PM

They're grand, as long as you can be grown up about them. Too many people can't do hat, and shouldn't go near them.

Mariasofia · 04-04-2013 10:23PM

I want a friend with benefits .....sounds like great craic;-)

Boscoirl · 04-04-2013 10:24PM

Best first post ever

Mariasofia · 04-04-2013 10:30PM

Thanks and to think i was so nervous ;-) what else haven't i done hmm?

Mariasofia · 04-04-2013 10:30PM

Thanks and to think i was so nervous ;-) what else haven't i done hmm?

shopaholic01 · 04-04-2013 10:33PM

Mariasofia wrote: »

I want a friend with benefits .....sounds like great craic;-)

Just sit tight and await the PMs.

Czarcasm · 04-04-2013 10:38PM

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Just sit tight and await the PMs.

That's what HE said!

Super-Rush · 04-04-2013 10:48PM

Just deleted a load of flirty crap.

Take it to pm or anywhere other than here please.

seenitall · 04-04-2013 10:50PM

WittyKitty1 wrote: »

Fair enough. But how on earth do you get into a situation like that with someone or even bring it up if theres no romantic feelings involved..You said you shared a taxi home and it happened, how do you even bring it up?
I'm pretty close to a few male friends of mine but I'd never talk about my sex life with them..

not judging anyone or anything, i'm genuinely interested in knowing how it could happen between two people who have absolutely no feelings for each other, unless there was some kind of flirting or something going on..

For me, there were feelings, just not that all-encompassing kind of the "OMG I can't live without you, you have to be my boyfriend" sort. This was someone I knew very, very well and whom I trusted implicitly, but also someone who I knew to be a bit of a bastard and a player when it came to romance, so I knew that I'd be getting the very best of him by keeping the friendship to the fore and the durtyness as a delish bonus; and so it was.

Of course there is flirting when you're getting sexual with someone?

Flirting doesn't imply "feelings" though, does it?

Three Seasons · 05-04-2013 06:42AM

seenitall wrote: »

For me, there were feelings, just not that all-encompassing kind of the "OMG I can't live without you, you have to be my boyfriend" sort. This was someone I knew very, very well and whom I trusted implicitly, but also someone who I knew to be a bit of a bastard and a player when it came to romance, so I knew that I'd be getting the very best of him by keeping the friendship to the fore and the durtyness as a delish bonus; and so it was.

Of course there is flirting when you're getting sexual with someone? Flirting doesn't imply "feelings" though, does it?

So you found him sexy and attractive but he wasn't boyfriend material, I don't see how that is confusing people.

Ando's Saggy Bottom · 05-04-2013 08:01AM

I think the only way it could work more ling term is if you didn't like the person but found them physically attractive.

''Friends with Benifits'' Can it work ?

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