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"HSE funding advice on teen threesomes" - Sindo

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Comments

  • #152
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    Sofiztikated wrote: »
    flatbackfour, the article says "If, could and can", not "You have to, or you're not cool, and probably dead from the waist down."

    It gives information to those teens that are thinking about it, some which might even be virgins that think that they have to have a threeSOME to be normal, and provides a list of pro's and con's.

    Some mightn't be emotionally capable for threeSOMEs, and the article gives them the information that they need to make a more informed decision not to have one.

    But fúck it, let them get the information from Brazzers and Pornhub. That'll be better.
    I don't know about you guys but that's what I did anyway :pac:


  • #153
    Sofiztikated
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,995 ✭✭✭Sofiztikated


    1ZRed wrote: »
    I don't know about you guys but that's what I did anyway :pac:

    :eek: Someone let a homosexual in here!

    :P It's ok, 1Z, I knew you liked boys.


  • #154
    foggy_lad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,373 ✭✭✭✭foggy_lad


    There must have been something in the article that caught the attention of a person with some power.

    http://spunout.ie/life/article/threesomes
    This article was edited on Sunday March 24th to amend some of the language used, the substance of the article remains the same. This edit was reviewed by a relevant health professional.


  • #155
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    Sofiztikated wrote: »
    :eek: Someone let a homosexual in here!

    :P It's ok, 1Z, I knew you liked boys.

    It's feckin news to me anyway! :P


  • #156
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,236 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    mikom wrote: »
    Ok, so we have Mulherin and Healy Eames.......... who is to be the final element of the "won't somebody think of the children" threesome...........?

    Mattie McGrath

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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  • #157
    Three Seasons
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 548 ✭✭✭Three Seasons


    flatbackfour wrote: »

    There is where we will have to disagree I really cant see how it is good advice to say to a sixteen year old that having a threesum is a good idea.

    Are you ready at 16 to process all the emotions that go into having a threesum, yea teens will do it and its better they are informed if they do. Why not start of that information by saying-listen its probably not the best thing for you to be doing right now in your life, for x and y reason.

    You don't want to listen to that advice- well hears the other advice for ya.

    Who's saying its a good idea, the pros and cons were stated. It could be a good idea for some, it could be a bad idea for others.


  • #158
    Get Real
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,000 ✭✭✭Get Real


    flatbackfour wrote: »
    I really cant see how it is good advice to say to a sixteen year old that having a threesum is a good idea.

    But this is the point, no one is advising teens to have threesomes.

    They are being honest and straightforward, not hiding behind censorship.

    Picture advice to teens on alcohol or drugs- its always the same...something along the lines of...

    "why do people use alcohol/drugs....people may enjoy x,y,z when using alcohol/drugs. They may also be using alcohol/drugs because of....x,y,z. However it should be noted that alcohol and drugs carry risks such as...x,y,z...if you or a friend needs help/ for further information please contact/visit...."

    Articles like this are published all the time, not once do they advocate the use of alcohol or drugs. We never hear about that but when sex is involved, God forbid!!

    It is about being straight with older teens, not about burying their heads in the sand. Acknowledging that people do do this, lets not play stupid, but talk to someone about it, or look up these links to x website.

    Spunout was around a few years ago when I was in secondary school. There was lots of information about drugs, different names for it, different effects ("good" and bad), and possible consequences. Have I ever tried drugs, no. Im in my mid twenties now, and while not that old, can safely say that I was no way encouraged/tempted to try something simply because I was better informed about it.

    A ridiculous over reaction to people who are better educating (mainly older) teens on these matters. Programme on the other night about the Magdalene laundries. 22 year old woman didn't know what sex was. A man told her people have it when they love each other, they "made love" and he left, never returning and leaving her pregnant. Education is not a bad thing.


  • #159
    foggy_lad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,373 ✭✭✭✭foggy_lad


    The Spunout S(h)ite appears to be gone now!


  • #160
    flatbackfour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 337 ✭✭flatbackfour


    Get Real wrote: »
    But this is the point, no one is advising teens to have threesomes.

    They are being honest and straightforward, not hiding behind censorship.

    Picture advice to teens on alcohol or drugs- its always the same...something along the lines of...

    "why do people use alcohol/drugs....people may enjoy x,y,z when using alcohol/drugs. They may also be using alcohol/drugs because of....x,y,z. However it should be noted that alcohol and drugs carry risks such as...x,y,z...if you or a friend needs help/ for further information please contact/visit...."

    Articles like this are published all the time, not once do they advocate the use of alcohol or drugs. We never hear about that but when sex is involved, God forbid!!

    It is about being straight with older teens, not about burying their heads in the sand. Acknowledging that people do do this, lets not play stupid, but talk to someone about it, or look up these links to x website.

    Spunout was around a few years ago when I was in secondary school. There was lots of information about drugs, different names for it, different effects ("good" and bad), and possible consequences. Have I ever tried drugs, no. Im in my mid twenties now, and while not that old, can safely say that I was no way encouraged/tempted to try something simply because I was better informed about it.

    A ridiculous over reaction to people who are better educating (mainly older) teens on these matters. Programme on the other night about the Magdalene laundries. 22 year old woman didn't know what sex was. A man told her people have it when they love each other, they "made love" and he left, never returning and leaving her pregnant. Education is not a bad thing.

    I am not saying not to give the information. I have never said that. I am questioning the principal of telling a 16 year old the following "If you're looking to spice things up in your relationship a threesome could be the way to go"

    I really can't see how its a positive thing to tell a 16 year old. All I am saying is that on balance for a sixteen year old who is still developing emotionally and sexually, would it probably not wise for spunout to say-look you might think your ready to have a threesome but in reality you are probably not emotionally- wait a few years-be careful about your sexuality- its not just a care free no consequences activity full on pros and cons. There is probably a lot more cons than pros to having a threesome at 16 (or at any age for that matter).

    By all means give the information about pros and cons but lets not pretend the pros and cons of having a threesome at 16 balance each other out.

    Why is it that when people question the over sexualisation of kids the stock reply is "go back to the 1950s" or "remember what the priests did"
    or its the 21 century" etc.


  • #161
    Get Real
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,000 ✭✭✭Get Real


    Was it all innocent and rosy in the 70s,80s and 90s?
    flatbackfour wrote: »



    Why is it that when people question the over sexualisation of kids the stock reply is "go back to the 1950s" or "remember what the priests did"

    or its the 21 century" etc.




    So at a time when we didn't talk about these kind of topics. When being homosexual was illegal, when sex outside marriage was publicly frowned upon, when there was a ban on contraception and when people were afraid to properly educate teens about sex, GUESS WHAT?

    Underage pregnancy is at its lowest rate since 1966.... which according to some people were "the good old days. BULLS..T..It was going on back then its going on now, but the only difference is teens are better educated and well informed now. So its actually been beneficial. Shame on people putting pressure on SPUNOUT.

    The statistics from these time periods are there to back it up, thats why.

    underage pregnancy at all time low sine 1966 source: http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/teenage-pregnancy-levels-at-lowest-since-1966-cso-report-28902205.html


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  • #162
    Lollipops23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,420 ✭✭✭Lollipops23


    I actually think the Spunout article was fairly well written-nobody was encouraging having threesomes, they were merely explaining why people might want to have them. Very different.

    Honestly, I was so terrified of sex with one guy at the age of 16, I'd have probably ran like the wind if a threesome was suggested to me....I know teens will be teens, but they all already know what a threesome is (if they watch tv/have internet), this just lets them know the downsides which are rarely discussed.


  • #163
    Nodin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    flatbackfour wrote: »
    I am not (.....)lets not pretend the pros and cons of having a threesome at 16 balance each other out. .

    You keep missing the "could".

    You've still given no evidence of the "cons".
    flatbackfour wrote: »
    Why not give the positives and negatives of orgies,knacker drinking, sado masacism, all sorts of sexual behaviour?

    I've no idea. Why not? Please explain
    flatbackfour wrote: »
    Why is it that when people question the over sexualisation of kids the stock reply is "go back to the 1950s" or "remember what the priests did"
    or its the 21 century" etc.

    More of this "over sexualisation" guff......


  • #164
    flatbackfour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 337 ✭✭flatbackfour


    Get Real wrote: »
    Oh and sorry but people saying its a disgrace how sexualised teens are etc, its wrong...while I agree in certain ways...i mean what? was it all innocent and rosy in the 70s,80s and 90s?

    So at a time when we didn't talk about these kind of topics. When being homosexual was illegal, when sex outside marriage was publicly frowned upon, when there was a ban on contraception and when people were afraid to properly educate teens about sex, GUESS WHAT?

    Underage pregnancy is at its lowest rate since 1966.... which according to some people were "the good old days. BULLS..T..It was going on back then its going on now, but the only difference is teens are better educated and well informed now. So its actually been beneficial. Shame on people putting pressure on SPUNOUT.

    underage pregnancy at all time low sine 1966 source: http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/teenage-pregnancy-levels-at-lowest-since-1966-cso-report-28902205.html

    And what do you think the stats are for young people and STDs in ireland. Epidemic comes to mind.


  • #165
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    flatbackfour wrote: »
    And what do you think the stats are for young people and STDs in ireland. Epidemic comes to mind.

    Educating people of the risks will do a lot more to prevent transmission of STIs than preaching that teenagers should not have sex or threesomes.


  • #166
    kraggy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,414 ✭✭✭kraggy


    bluewolf wrote: »
    You're obsessed with "promoting"
    Promoting swimming lessons does not cause drowning
    Promoting seatbelts does not lead to more car crashes
    and promoting safe sex including tips for those who want to engage in threesomes and what problems to watch out for, is not going to make them all go have more sex and mess them up
    More information is a good thing



    18 and 19 year olds are adults and may have them if they judge for themselves they're able for it.
    If they are not able for deciding these things for themselves in sexual matters, discussion on the topic of threesomes alone is by far the least of their worries.

    The problem I see with all this is that the site is accessed by kids as young as 13. Now, if this site normalizes threesomes, then it puts the idea into kids' heads and eventually what once was the pressure of "have you lost your virginity yet?" could very well become "have you had a threesome yet?".

    A 13 year old shouldn't be having sex nevermind threesomes. And I say all this as someone who has got up to all sorts in my time.


  • #167
    Nodin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    kraggy wrote: »
    The problem I see with all this is that the site is accessed by kids as young as 13. Now, if this site normalizes threesomes, then it puts the idea into kids' heads and eventually what once was the pressure of "have you lost your virginity yet?" could very well become "have you had a threesome yet?".

    A 13 year old shouldn't be having sex nevermind threesomes. And I say all this as someone who has got up to all sorts in my time.

    "should" though, has feck all to do with it. 90% of the time you'd end up involved in feck knows what because of such detailed plans as "lets go on the batter".


  • #168
    Arawn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,158 ✭✭✭Arawn


    kraggy wrote: »
    The problem I see with all this is that the site is accessed by kids as young as 13. Now, if this site normalizes threesomes, then it puts the idea into kids' heads and eventually what once was the pressure of "have you lost your virginity yet?" could very well become "have you had a threesome yet?".

    A 13 year old shouldn't be having sex nevermind threesomes. And I say all this as someone who has got up to all sorts in my time.

    Kids are indoctrinated into religions at much younger ages. Where is the moral outrage?


  • #169
    TwoShedsJackson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,438 ✭✭✭TwoShedsJackson


    kraggy wrote: »
    The problem I see with all this is that the site is accessed by kids as young as 13. Now, if this site normalizes threesomes, then it puts the idea into kids' heads and eventually what once was the pressure of "have you lost your virginity yet?" could very well become "have you had a threesome yet?".

    A 13 year old shouldn't be having sex nevermind threesomes. And I say all this as someone who has got up to all sorts in my time.

    It's not normalising having a threesome though. It is offering advice on whether or not it would be a good idea.

    The availability of internet porn is changing the way teenagers and others are thinking about sex, and what they expect during it. Having people get their 'information' from that source is surely worse then having a level-headed advice site mention the pros and cons.

    Never mentioning it and just pretending such things don't happen is probably the worst possible approach, but of course also the easiest.


  • #170
    Miss Lockhart
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,639 ✭✭✭Miss Lockhart


    Arawn wrote: »
    Kids are indoctrinated into religions at much younger ages. Where is the moral outrage?

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=614


  • #171
    Isaac Scarce Skier
    Posts: 81,308 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Isaac Scarce Skier


    kraggy wrote: »
    The problem I see with all this is that the site is accessed by kids as young as 13. Now, if this site normalizes threesomes, then it puts the idea into kids' heads and eventually what once was the pressure of "have you lost your virginity yet?" could very well become "have you had a threesome yet?".

    A 13 year old shouldn't be having sex nevermind threesomes. And I say all this as someone who has got up to all sorts in my time.

    It says it's illegal. Kids of 13 are far from the target audience, you might as well say porn on the internet means it's being targetted at kids.


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  • #172
    Get Real
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,000 ✭✭✭Get Real


    flatbackfour wrote: »
    And what do you think the stats are for young people and STDs in ireland. Epidemic comes to mind.

    well this is explained by:
    shopaholic01 wrote: »
    Educating people of the risks will do a lot more to prevent transmission of STIs than preaching that teenagers should not have sex or threesomes.

    but the point you made with me was why do people refer to the 50s and the bad catholic church etc, and I replied that underage sex went on back then too and in fact, without education there were alot more undrage and unplanned pregnancies and that teens were sexualised back then too.

    I then provided statistics from the Irish Independent and the Central Statistics Office to show that in actual fact, now that we have a more sexually informed and sexually aware teenage population, underage pregnancies are at there lowest level since 1966..............

    .........to which you have yet to reply to


  • #173
    seamus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,173 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    SOMEBODY IS PUBLICLY TALKING ABOUT SEX IN AN HONEST AND OPEN WAY! WE MUST STOP THEM, FOR THE CHILDREN!!

    Some things in this country really don't change.


  • #174
    flatbackfour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 337 ✭✭flatbackfour


    seamus wrote: »
    SOMEBODY IS PUBLICLY TALKING ABOUT SEX IN AN HONEST AND OPEN WAY! WE MUST STOP THEM, FOR THE CHILDREN!!

    Some things in this country really don't change.


    I really think we have got beyond the 80s repression angle of talking about sex. Yes we are talking about it and its a very good thing.

    We have are post catholic repression in terms of talking about sex. Now we have got to focus on the quality of this discussion and ask some hard questions about the nature ot his talk.

    Not blindly accept a certain view because it is percieved as liberal and "honest". Honesty is a two way thing.

    No one can be free from criticism where it may be warrented.


  • #175
    P_1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,681 ✭✭✭✭P_1


    flatbackfour wrote: »
    I really think we have got beyond the 80s repression angle of talking about sex. Yes we are talking about it and its a very good thing.

    We have are post catholic repression in terms of talking about sex. Now we have got to focus on the quality of this discussion and ask some hard questions about the nature ot his talk.

    Not blindly accept a certain view because it is percieved as liberal and "honest". Honesty is a two way thing.

    No one can be free from criticism where it may be warrented.

    Presenting the facts in an open and transparent manner outlining both pros and cons certainly strikes me as being honest.

    Or are you of the opinion that teenagers are not to be trusted to make their own minds up and thus need to be told what to do?


  • #176
    flatbackfour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 337 ✭✭flatbackfour


    shopaholic01 wrote: »
    Educating people of the risks will do a lot more to prevent transmission of STIs than preaching that teenagers should not have sex or threesomes.

    another poster made the point that teenager pregnancy is down due to better education of kids. I made the point that this education does not seemed to have worked for the levels of STDs.

    Education kids is of course a good thing. Sending vunerable teens very mixed messages about sex may not be.


  • #177
    Morag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 8,450 ✭✭✭Morag


    Anyone who support Spunout, could you nicely let Minister Reilly know minister's_office@health.irlgov.ie why you think Spunout is important.

    Likewise Minister for Children and Youth Affairs Francis Fitzgerald can be contacted here: contact@dcya.gov.ie if you want to let her know.


  • #178
    Morag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 8,450 ✭✭✭Morag


    flatbackfour wrote: »
    another poster made the point that teenager pregnancy is down due to better education of kids. I made the point that this education does not seemed to have worked for the levels of STDs.

    Because STI are not comprehensively covered as part of sex in schools.


  • #179
    P_1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,681 ✭✭✭✭P_1


    flatbackfour wrote: »
    another poster made the point that teenager pregnancy is down due to better education of kids. I made the point that this education does not seemed to have worked for the levels of STDs.

    Education kids is of course a good thing. Sending vunerable teens very mixed messages about sex may not be.

    Well TBH I'd hazard a guess that the stigmatisation of sexual health issues in the past might have had a part to play in the underreporting of STDs


  • #180
    opinion guy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,000 ✭✭✭✭opinion guy


    flatbackfour wrote: »
    I really think we have got beyond the 80s repression angle of talking about sex. Yes we are talking about it and its a very good thing.

    We have are post catholic repression in terms of talking about sex. Now we have got to focus on the quality of this discussion and ask some hard questions about the nature ot his talk.

    I disagree. In fact, given this debate and the rise of Iona, Youth Defense and others ont he back of the Saavita case I think we are very much not post Catholic repression - if anything that seems to be making a come back


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  • #181
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    opinion guy wrote: »
    I disagree. In fact, given this debate and the rise of Iona, Youth Defense and others ont he back of the Saavita case I think we are very much not post Catholic repression - if anything that seems to be making a come back

    I think it's just the minority that are feeling threatened so they're shouting the loudest to get attention for their cause while the rest of us who wouldn't have a problem with the gradual, and welcome, change in attitude are more laid back and don't make a fuss because there isn't anything wrong with it.

    Honestly, the golden rule is if it's consensual and it's not hurting anyone, there's most likely nothing wrong with it. These lads seem to think otherwise for some reason.


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