Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Mr. Wong wrote: »

Why are idiots wishing their Mothers a happy Mother's Day even though they aren't on Facebook?

Attention seeking clowns.

So, I have just had the most humerous exchange with someone who was supposed to be serious that I have ever had in my life. It will be noted below.

So while doing a load of laundry today, [girlfriend] had the unfortunate pleasure of flooding part of the basement. She thought it was the washing machine, and tried to clean up the mess as best she could. When I got home, fearing the washer that WASNT CHEAP was broken, I began to examine it.

Washer wasn't the problem.

I did a test load, and everything went fine until it was time for the water to drain. Long story short - the sewer main is backed up, and the water was coming through the drain in the basement.

Not wanting to have to deal with snaking the drain, I called roto-rooter for the first time in my life.

After waiting 2 hours for the guy who was supposed to be here an hour ago, an unmarked white van passed the house, and then returned to park in front of it. The "gentleman" omglol4evah took about five minutes to open the door to the van, and when he did, a collection of **** that was snuggled up to the crevasse between the floorboard and the door plummeted to the street.

"Not a good sign." I thought as it took him another 2 full minutes to traverse the vast wasteland of 22 feet from the curb to my door.

Dingy, ridiculous, idiotic, incompetent, unkempt - were all adjectives that my mind was firing off on autopilot while this dopey knucklehead lumbered up my steps, and into my house.

We get down to the basement, and it becomes quite clear that the real profession of this idiot is scraping 8ft sewage pipes. He doesn't have a clue of what he is talking about, or he is talking himself around in circles in the hopes that it would beguile me enough for what is coming next.

He starts asking me where things are. Clearly, there are 2 visible sewage pipes in the basement. They are cast Iron. Can't miss em'. He asks me where the cleanout is. "Aren't you the ****ing plumber?"

Then he asks where the bathroom on the first floor is, and I point to it.

"Hmmm." he mutters in that ominously obvious "This is going to cost you A LOT of money" tone.

He then states that he needs to pace off the distance from where the sewer main was to the front of the house so he can get an idea of how much cable will have to be used.

First off, he's counting in one foot, as he takes half of the steps toe to toe, and the other half at full stride.

"C'mon mang." I'm thinking as he says "Let's go outside." I happily agree. He says, "Now I have a machine that weighs 165lbs, but I don't really feel like messin wit dat, so I'm gona use the 75 ft one that is lighter."

"Ok." I replied.

"So, the snake for the drain is going to run you about $449."

I started laughing. He wasn't used to it, because he looked like he wanted to give me five dollars worth of nickle knots.

"I'm not paying $450 for someone to snake my main drain boss, that is ridiculous. I may have been born at night, but it wasn't LAST night." I was laughing still.

He wasn't.

"Well that is just for snaking the drain. If I have to take your toilet off, that's another $556 right there."

The volume of my laughter increased. "So what you're telling me is that you're going to charge me $1000 to take out a toilet, and run a cable through my pipe?"

"That's correct." He said.

"Two bolts and a wax ring for $556?" I said with mocking incredulity.

"It's more difficult than it is, Sir."

I handed him his clip board, and told him to drive safe, and make sure he didn't pop a tire on the road. "The labor alone on that sucker should cost about $3000!"

I didn't stop laughing.

75 ft sewer line snake at home depot rents for $29.99 for the day. Take my advice, and never call roto rooter. Unless you want to just laugh uncontrollably.

GAAman wrote: »

the baby looks like the bastard lovechild of Freddie Krueger and Mr Potato Head!

lolli wrote: »

https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/s480x480/644349_488738244519647_969473056_n.jpg

this load of bull has been appearing on my timeline a few times tonight. I have no time for that nonsense. There are so many hardworking foreign people in this country.

Pushtrak wrote: »

http://sphotos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/485941_593266830703318_922037962_n.png