Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Gillo · 03-03-2013 2:04am

neemish wrote: »

Also feel bad that i can't cope with the "let's all laugh at people with dep" thread. It's too much for me for some reason. Is that silly?

I always thought it was an awful title for a thread but if it allows people to share etc it's all good.
When I'm having a good day I can see how some scenarios are in some ways laughable, that said it's AH you'll get a completely different response, if that makes sense. Fair dues to Devore for starting a serious thread there considering the usual AH tone of threads, (that said I'm certainly knocking AH).

neemish · 03-03-2013 2:07am

handbagmad wrote: »

neemish I always feel like im being trialed for a crime or something? I have to sit for at least 20mins till he or she reads through my file then ask me a load of bull**** questions and then go ask the boss weither or not to change meds?
Its like your a f**king guinny pig

And its the same questions...they have nothing to do with the individual, but the questions that must be asked. Its the waiting that gets me, and the attitude that the almighty doctor (even if you met them five mins ago) must know better than you!

handbagmad · 03-03-2013 2:08am

nesf wrote: »

The ones who want to remain ignorant will keep on going as they were unfortunately.

true that nesf but i think the general public should at least read it before judging. Been judged all my life for being different. Some people live in a fantasy and are led by old fashioned ways of thinking

neemish · 03-03-2013 2:10am

Gillo wrote: »

I always thought it was an awful title for a thread but if it allows people to share etc it's all good.
When I'm having a good day I can see how some scenarios are in some ways laughable, that said it's AH you'll get a completely different response, if that makes sense. Fair dues to Devore for starting a serious thread there considering the usual AH tone of threads, (that said I'm certainly knocking AH).

I think its a great thread and doing a great job, but just never feel quite up to the banter. But thats fine too, different strokes.... Maybe at some stage I'll feel up to it, but for the moment, I'm happier here

handbagmad · 03-03-2013 2:14am

neemish wrote: »

And its the same questions...they have nothing to do with the individual, but the questions that must be asked. Its the waiting that gets me, and the attitude that the almighty doctor (even if you met them five mins ago) must know better than you!

exactly. "i see you done this back in god knows when and how do you feel about that now" i mean ffs
the last one asked me can i watch coronation street????? i kid you not. At the end of the questions and answers left me in a room for 20mins to discuss me with some one senior. its a joke

nesf · 03-03-2013 2:20am

handbagmad wrote: »

true that nesf but i think the general public should at least read it before judging. Been judged all my life for being different. Some people live in a fantasy and are led by old fashioned ways of thinking

Some will, and some of them will be swayed but the seriously prejudiced people? Nah, it won't affect them, they'll just carry on spouting the same crap about mentally ill people over and over.

cloud493 · 03-03-2013 3:19am

Not doing too well right now

And I prefer this thread to the AH thread also.

thingamagig · 03-03-2013 9:39pm

Hi
all, I'm sorry to be hi-jacking this thread a little, but I feel I have
absolutely no one to talk to. My life is so incredibly worthless but I
put on a brilliant facade of being a easy-going good for nothing who
really should have nothing to worry about. Inside I'm churning with fear
and extreme self-doubt. Like Izzy Wizzy, I 've had people constantly
ask me what the hell a youngish one like me would have to worry about. I'm
not bloody joking when I say my family have been the ones who have been
least supportive, offering only criticism and judgement. I'm in a
self-help group, so I have been working on myself, but to be honest at
times the group feels a bit like it's the blind leading the blind.

Gremlinertia · 04-03-2013 10:27am

cloud493 wrote: »

Not doing too well right now
And I prefer this thread to the AH thread also.

Heyo, hope you've made it through the night ok..

Gremlinertia · 04-03-2013 10:40am

thingamagig wrote: »

Hi
all, I'm sorry to be hi-jacking this thread a little, but I feel I have
absolutely no one to talk to. My life is so incredibly worthless but I
put on a brilliant facade of being a easy-going good for nothing who
really should have nothing to worry about. Inside I'm churning with fear
and extreme self-doubt. Like Izzy Wizzy, I 've had people constantly
ask me what the hell a youngish one like me would have to worry about. I'm
not bloody joking when I say my family have been the ones who have been
least supportive, offering only criticism and judgement. I'm in a
self-help group, so I have been working on myself, but to be honest at
times the group feels a bit like it's the blind leading the blind.

You're not hi-jacking at all, welcome to our little den.

The facade thing rings bells with me, you know that saying 'life and soul of the party' could have been built for me.. Give me a few beers and i become the ultimate clown, and it's exhausting, but that's me so far until i figure myself out a bit more..

Have you been to a doctor or anything, by the way well done on the self help group - personally i'd run a mile..

As for family, i haven't really involved mine in this particular issue. I have felt that they may not be exactly able to deal with it, due to the usual stuff of taboo. Is that the case with you? I think i had the mindset that i didn't 'need' to tell them.. Sorry for rambling response

cloud493 · 04-03-2013 11:19am

Well I made it through the night. Don't know about ok though. Nothing serious though.

Gremlinertia · 04-03-2013 11:24am

cloud493 wrote: »

Well I made it through the night. Don't know about ok though. Nothing serious though.

You made it though, sometimes that's the win for the night.

cloud493 · 04-03-2013 11:28am

Yeah I guess. How you doing?

Gremlinertia · 04-03-2013 11:33am

cloud493 wrote: »

Yeah I guess. How you doing?

Just home from nightshift so awaiting sleep or at least hoping it'll visit. Have been suffering terrible nightmares of late, bad enough that they echo in my mind for the rest of the day when i wake.. Makes things a little surreal at times.

cloud493 · 04-03-2013 11:37am

Maybe a little sleep'll do you good

Hersheys · 04-03-2013 12:01pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Just home from nightshift so awaiting sleep or at least hoping it'll visit. Have been suffering terrible nightmares of late, bad enough that they echo in my mind for the rest of the day when i wake.. Makes things a little surreal at times.

Thank God I ain't the only one with nightmares! They really set the tone for the day.

Hope you have a restful sleep x

neemish · 04-03-2013 12:18pm

O Lord, I wish I was anywhere but at work. Do I have to, really????
Just feel so anxious and lousy

titan18 · 04-03-2013 1:26pm

Hersheys wrote: »

Thank God I ain't the only one with nightmares! They really set the tone for the day.

Hope you have a restful sleep x

Yup, get those nightmares too. Although mine are more cos I want what I dream about but can't get it

HalloweenJack · 04-03-2013 2:30pm

I recently met a girl and I've a feeling we could end up in a relationship.

I'm excited as I haven't been in a relationship for three and a half years and, in that time, I've had a lot problems.

I'm fairly anxious about some things, though. I have some recent scars on my arm and they are fairly noticeable. I think this could be brought up and will lead to an early discussion about my problems. I just feel like it could be too early to bring it up and I'm also afraid that it may scare her away.

Any ideas or advice on how to go about this?

LegacyUser · 04-03-2013 4:37pm

HalloweenJack wrote: »

I recently met a girl and I've a feeling we could end up in a relationship.

I'm excited as I haven't been in a relationship for three and a half years and, in that time, I've had a lot problems.

I'm fairly anxious about some things, though. I have some recent scars on my arm and they are fairly noticeable. I think this could be brought up and will lead to an early discussion about my problems. I just feel like it could be too early to bring it up and I'm also afraid that it may scare her away.

Any ideas or advice on how to go about this?

Take it slow,don't rush into anything with her,may sure you are right for each other,nothing worse than breaking up

as I well know.

Call Me Jimmy · 04-03-2013 5:11pm

HalloweenJack wrote: »

I recently met a girl and I've a feeling we could end up in a relationship.

I'm excited as I haven't been in a relationship for three and a half years and, in that time, I've had a lot problems.

I'm fairly anxious about some things, though. I have some recent scars on my arm and they are fairly noticeable. I think this could be brought up and will lead to an early discussion about my problems. I just feel like it could be too early to bring it up and I'm also afraid that it may scare her away.

Any ideas or advice on how to go about this?

I have scars (they have faded a bit) but if I was in your situation I'd probably keep them hidden as long as possible just as you get to know someone even a little bit more than you know them now.

HalloweenJack · 04-03-2013 5:34pm

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I have scars (they have faded a bit) but if I was in your situation I'd probably keep them hidden as long as possible just as you get to know someone even a little bit more than you know them now.

We've already slept together and my older scars have faded so she didn't notice them.

These ones happened in the meantime. It's still about two weeks until I see her again as she studies in a different city but these scars have been there about a week and haven't healed very quickly. I just have a plaster over them and change it every few days. I can't see them improving that much in the meantime.

It's really working me up now. I just realised that I'm getting more anxious as the day goes on. My hands won't stop shaking. I can't quite place why this has come on all of a sudden.

Gremlinertia · 04-03-2013 5:44pm

That's a little difficult, however can you feign a non-specific injury requiring a support? I've done it myself, albeit not proudly. You'll know within a few more weeks when to tell her, oh and as an aside, don't tell her in the bedroom, learned the hard way that although you may be feelin close there, it's just not the place. (Yeah i know, idiot, but sure learn from me..)

HalloweenJack · 04-03-2013 5:50pm

Can a mod clarify if I can go into specifics about these scars? It seems like it could be a bit iffy.

If I have a plaster over them, it's fine. I just can't think of any plausible excuse to explain them, especially if they were to be seen as they have a distinctive form which, I'm pretty sure, can only come from a certain way of causing them.

Kaching · 04-03-2013 5:53pm

What a weird day *shivers*

Gremlinertia · 04-03-2013 5:53pm

HalloweenJack, pm sent..

Gremlinertia · 04-03-2013 5:54pm

Weird day how?

neemish · 04-03-2013 6:21pm

Kaching wrote: »

What a weird day *shivers*

tell us more

thingamagig · 04-03-2013 7:35pm

Thanks so much Gremlinertia. Ya, I have consulted a G.P. in the past and I have had a good bit of counselling too. My family? I only mentioned it because it would be very hard for them not to pick up that something was wrong. My life stalled, I've underachieved and I was like the walking wounded for a while!I'm in no way close to them, so it wasn't a case of me confiding in them. But if you are close to your family, Gremlinertia, or trust them a good bit, you might be surprised by how they react. It's awesome to have someone to talk to. The group really has given me a listeing ear in the past.

Kaching · 04-03-2013 10:01pm

lets just say I know where the phrase "he was so scared he sh@t himself" came from

Gremlinertia · 04-03-2013 11:29pm

Kaching wrote: »

lets just say I know where the phrase "he was so scared he sh@t himself" came from

Let's hope one was wearing brown trousers :pac:

Gremlinertia · 04-03-2013 11:41pm

thingamagig wrote: »

Thanks so much Gremlinertia. Ya, I have consulted a G.P. in the past and I have had a good bit of counselling too. My family? I only mentioned it because it would be very hard for them not to pick up that something was wrong. My life stalled, I've underachieved and I was like the walking wounded for a while!I'm in no way close to them, so it wasn't a case of me confiding in them. But if you are close to your family, Gremlinertia, or trust them a good bit, you might be surprised by how they react. It's awesome to have someone to talk to. The group really has given me a listeing ear in the past.

I made distance with family years back, not wisely i'll admit. We are on good enough terms but i had the added bonus of being very definitely gay in a very definietly narrow minded small town, it was better i ****ed off. Being gay colours things - you develope a second family.. Like us all, many threads to the story/

pardon fat fingered typing

Hersheys · 05-03-2013 6:28pm

Feel like a fraud for posting on this thread.

I'd an appointment with the psych today. I have borderline personality disorder. Not depression or anxiety.

Call Me Jimmy · 05-03-2013 8:13pm

Hersheys wrote: »

Feel like a fraud for posting on this thread.

I'd an appointment with the psych today. I have borderline personality disorder. Not depression or anxiety.

Well you're not a fraud but that is a serious diagnosis. How someone makes a diagnosis that specific is beyond me, but I hope you don't let it define you (same for a depression/anxiety diagnosis).

That would be a scary diagnosis to me (just any personality disorder, it's very... personal?) feel free to talk about it here obviously and I hope you are okay

Hersheys · 05-03-2013 8:57pm

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Well you're not a fraud but that is a serious diagnosis. How someone makes a diagnosis that specific is beyond me, but I hope you don't let it define you (same for a depression/anxiety diagnosis).

That would be a scary diagnosis to me (just any personality disorder, it's very... personal?) feel free to talk about it here obviously and I hope you are okay

It is very personal but it felt like the least personal afternoon ever

I wish I understood what it meant. It's like having half my life taken away because I've thought I had depression and anxiety. Now I'm just emotionally disordered. Even harder to explain to people than depression. And no real treatment aside from talk therapy and there's a 5 month wait for that.

Lightbulb Sun · 05-03-2013 9:03pm

Hersheys wrote: »

Feel like a fraud for posting on this thread.

I'd an appointment with the psych today. I have borderline personality disorder. Not depression or anxiety.

Don't feel like a fraud. Borderline personality disorder is a depressive illness, otherwise you wouldn't be here on the thread. Had a bad day myself today. Feeling demotivated in college , life feels empty and flat. Failed a test today. My illness kills my concentration. Apparently college drop outs are par for the course with people who share my diagnosis. I know this myself cos I've dropped out of school twice and college once already. Hope it doesn't happen again.

Kaching · 05-03-2013 10:02pm

Hersheys wrote: »

It is very personal but it felt like the least personal afternoon ever I wish I understood what it meant. It's like having half my life taken away because I've thought I had depression and anxiety. Now I'm just emotionally disordered. Even harder to explain to people than depression. And no real treatment aside from talk therapy and there's a 5 month wait for that.

hun the same as any disorder , it disrupts you're life and it's a pain because it can't be cured but It can be managed with treatment.
And as for talk therapy , you have a friend with a good set of ears

Hersheys · 05-03-2013 10:33pm

Kaching wrote: »

hun the same as any disorder , it disrupts you're life and it's a pain because it can't be cured but It can be managed with treatment.
And as for talk therapy , you have a friend with a good set of ears

I just feel like crap

Lightbulb Sun · 05-03-2013 11:08pm

Hersheys wrote: »

I just feel like crap

From the little I know about it borderline seems to be an illness where the stress of life overwhelms people to self harm when they can't cope. That's just what I heard from being in hospital before.

HalloweenJack · 05-03-2013 11:18pm

Had a yo-yo day, was a bit scary how I was changing moods so often. Just want my bed right now.

Hersheys · 06-03-2013 12:18am

Lightbulb Sun wrote: »

From the little I know about it borderline seems to be an illness where the stress of life overwhelms people to self harm when they can't cope. That's just what I heard from being in hospital before.

That's pretty much how I feel except throw suicidal thoughts into the mix. I have huge suicide ideation thoughts. Like right now boards is my distraction from wanting to do something stupid & not become a statistic.

titan18 · 06-03-2013 12:49am

Hersheys wrote: »

That's pretty much how I feel except throw suicidal thoughts into the mix. I have huge suicide ideation thoughts. Like right now boards is my distraction from wanting to do something stupid & not become a statistic.

I get those thoughts, they're never good.

Fwiw, I've always thought I had Borderline Personality Disorder, but never got myself diagnosed properly for it. It's just a label, all our stuff is pretty much the same really.

Boards is a decent distraction, I find gaming to my best distraction, no real thinking involved, and a bit more activity than just the internet.

Gremlinertia · 06-03-2013 3:41pm

Hersheys wrote: »

That's pretty much how I feel except throw suicidal thoughts into the mix. I have huge suicide ideation thoughts. Like right now boards is my distraction from wanting to do something stupid & not become a statistic.

I constantly see 'opportunities' to die, have done for years. Usually i don't have to fight the urge much, but at times it feels like i go into a trance and it can be very hard to free myself.. My psych has said i have personality 'issues' which we haven't made any further headway with as of yet. So i feel like a bit of a misfit most of the time out here in the real world, so venting in this thread is brilliant.

Don't worry about a diagnosis Hersheys, depression is a very broad term with many variations, hopefully when you get closer to diagnosis you get closer to exactly the help you need..

Bipolar Sufferer · 07-03-2013 12:13pm

Whats the best way to meet/chat to young people with BiPolar? I'm 19 in Dublin with BiPolar 2 and think it would be helpful to be able to PM people roughly the same age who know what I am going through.

Gremlinertia · 07-03-2013 1:35pm

Bipolar Sufferer wrote: »

Whats the best way to meet/chat to young people with BiPolar? I'm 19 in Dublin with BiPolar 2 and think it would be helpful to be able to PM people roughly the same age who know what I am going through.

Heyo, welcome to the thread - check the 'post your web resources here' thread that's at top of the listings here, three pages of links for various long term illnesses including depression, bi-polar etc. There are people on this thread that would be about your age, so if you stick around they may be in contact too.

thingamagig · 07-03-2013 5:25pm

wow. i feel stripped of energy. just bone tired. but my head still has time to constantly self-criticise. how does that work?!

Call Me Jimmy · 07-03-2013 7:19pm

I know it was a rhetorical question but I think it spirals, your brain normalises itself to a level of activity and then it takes a supreme effort to drop it back down to slower vibration.

cloud493 · 07-03-2013 10:24pm

Has not been a good week in general, to be honest. I'm normally ok at ignoring the sadness, because you need to, but I haven't been very good at it the past few months.

Kaching · 07-03-2013 11:09pm

Vuzuggu wrote: »

if you wanna PM me that's cool. I want to get to know people with BiPolar too. Wouldn't mind having someone that understand where I'm coming from.

+1

Hersheys · 08-03-2013 12:55am

I can't stop inappropriate thoughts & I've no medical/therapy appointments coming up so I've no outlet! Since I got my diagnosis I'm researching as much as possible & it doesn't make nice reading but it all makes sense. (Proper research, not dr google). It's hard reading but I'm an analytical person, I like answers. Part of it says that drs and therapists are reluctant to deal with people like me because we misappropriate thoughts etc - and it's true. Right now I want to be friends with my doctor but know I can't because it's ridiculous. And in my head I'm "punishing" her for not going to visit. Even tho 1) I doubt she remembers my name when it's not written in front of her and 2) it's probably a relief when she goes a week without having to see me.

Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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