Stories from the bullshítter.

joe stodge · 06-02-2013 12:45AM #1

I'd say everyone knows one of these lads, someone that any story that comes out of their mouth is utter bullshït.

A lad I know is always going on about DJing in clubs all over ireland and was one Friday morning banging on about DJing a club in Dublin. I decided to call his bluff along with 2 other lads and headed to said club.

To our major surprise he wasn't there nor was he advertised to play there. when I confronted him about on the Monday about him not being there he said "I got called on Friday evening to cover a set in a club in London."

I'm sure he was, anyone else have any blatant bullshït stories people have told them?

kfallon · 06-02-2013 12:48AM

Guy I worked with years ago was always at it every Monday about his weekend.

If bullshit was music he would have been The Beatles :rolleyes:

smash · 06-02-2013 12:48AM

Just look in thread about the fella paying his motor tax fine...

Senna · 06-02-2013 12:51AM

One guy from college was the worst, the most unbelievable lies every, done this, done that, done her, her, her and her mother.

Sometimes, with people like those, you just have to play along and feel sorry for them. You can call them out on it, but it probably wont stop them and if they're lying that much, they probably have more problems than you.

LizT · 06-02-2013 12:54AM

This thread makes me think of Jay from the inbetweeners.

Ruudi_Mentari · 06-02-2013 12:56AM

Oh, to be that young again

whole lotta nontruth in competition to get ahead.

Actually, it doesn't even peter out for many!! If at all.

Ihatecuddles-old · 06-02-2013 01:00AM

LizT wrote: »

This thread makes me think of Jay from the inbetweeners.

Best show ever. After arrested development...

Jay: So I had one bent over the table here, there was one up here who I was fingering and I was just toe ****ing the one on the floor.
Will: So when do we get to meet these lucky ladies?
Jay: You can't, they've gone back to the playboy mansion

sinjin_smythe · 06-02-2013 01:01AM

No word of a lie, a friend of mine somehow managed to ride 2 girls at oxygen one year, fair enough its not completely impossible, but no he didnt have to stop there, they both had to be female chiropractors (somehow nurses didnt sound hot enough), oh and of course he rode them at the same time. This of course happened while we were away and no witnesses were present. the sad thing is he still bull****s day in day out and hes 28 now.

ArtyM · 06-02-2013 01:03AM

Yeah, I know a few of them. Sad f**kers.
This one guy - I met him at a party in Simon Cowels's house last year, was the worst.
There I was, chattin to Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss and was just about to let them fight for the right to mount the count (if ya know what I mean, lol, rofl, omg, hashtag-amazingdude, hashtag-f**kinawesomemagaguy,#wowguy,#hi5buddudeguymanyoyoMagnetsBitch)

dorkacle · 06-02-2013 01:05AM

I know two blokes who go on like this, one from work and one from college...
All the usual crap about scoring girls and the like...

I'm trying to think of specific stories they go on about but I can't remember any because I just tune out when they are waffling away :P

admiralofthefleet · 06-02-2013 01:06AM

customer in a pub i used to work in was nicknamed 66/1 because he was always winning on big outsiders - or so he said. he was sitting at the bar on new years eve 2009 and me, the wife and her parents were sitting down just away from the bar with him in earshot.
he started going on about playing guitar with some of the biggest pub bands in dublin and was always in demand to play guitar. my father in law says to him 'ah lovely, ive my guitar in the car sure give us a tune'. he goes out to get the guitar and brings it in and 66/1's face drops.
he starts playing completely out of key and moaned at my FIL about the guitar being out of tune.
only thing is, frank had paid hundreds that morning to have the guitar professionally tuned

juan.kerr · 06-02-2013 01:07AM

ArtyM wrote: »

Yeah, I know a few of them. Sad f**kers.
This one guy - I met him at a party in Simon Cowels's house last year, was the worst.
There I was, chattin to Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss and was just about to let them fight for the right to mount the count (if ya know what I mean, lol, rofl, omg, hashtag-amazingdude, hashtag-f**kinawesomemagaguy,#wowguy,#hi5buddudeguymanyoyoMagnetsBitch)

You could at least pick decent looking birds for your story...

kfallon · 06-02-2013 01:08AM

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

Best show ever. After arrested development...

Jay: So I had one bent over the table here, there was one up here who I was fingering and I was just toe ****ing the one on the floor.
Will: So when do we get to meet these lucky ladies?
Jay: You can't, they've gone back to the playboy mansion

Get her to put the condom on......with her arsehole :pac:

jamesbondings · 06-02-2013 01:10AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blO3EtP_D10

everyone knows that person, i played this song to her.........she ranted about how she hates "those bitches" .......

some people never learn

Ruudi_Mentari · 06-02-2013 01:11AM

joe stodge wrote: »

A lad I know is always going on about DJing in clubs all over ireland and was one Friday morning banging on about DJing a club in Dublin. I decided to call his bluff along with 2 other lads and headed to said club.

To our major surprise he wasn't there nor was he advertised to play there. when I confronted him about on the Monday about him not being there he said "I got called on Friday evening to cover a set in a club in London."

i'd say there's a lot of that considering how one solitary numpty can acquire such a slot.

At least when it was bands their actual DIY musicality and word as a whole was more feasible these are vein, disengenuous times

dd972 · 06-02-2013 01:11AM

It's funny how these types of people are always standing around gobbing off in pubs, when in reality they'd never get the time to go to the pub if they were to accomplish even 30% of their deeds.

Scruffles · 06-02-2013 01:25AM

agreeing with senna in that there will be some of them who do have,um problems.

some people have an urge to do lie,they can throw out lies like a sprinkler throws out water; its called pathalogical lying,they may even believe what theyre saying if their reality is crossing over into fantasy.

have known someone online for years like that,he was a true bully and pyschopath as am still damaged by him and really need to get accessible help,but besides that in terms of lieing he woud make many new accounts every day and every new account woud have a different life and a different severe or terminal disability to gain pity,he used very vulnerable people for disability support he didnt need and pity;there were many genuinely disabled members he used it felt even worse when he was taking advantage of terminaly ill or severely mentaly ill people who were near crisis.

some people feel they have to lie because they think people will feel bad of them and their life.
doesnt matter what life have got,if its what like doing then its got f all to do with anyone else.

Gee_G · 06-02-2013 01:28AM

I think everyone knows somebody like this. They obviously lacking something in their lives to feel like they have to lie. I feel sorry for them. But I do have a friend that does it all the time, about stupid stuff and NEVER remembers the little fibs she has told. I thoroughly enjoy trying to trip her up about them

7 7 12 · 06-02-2013 01:31AM

weedhead wrote: »

No word of a lie, a friend of mine somehow managed to ride 2 girls at oxygen one year, fair enough its not completely impossible, but no he didnt have to stop there, they both had to be female chiropractors (somehow nurses didnt sound hot enough), oh and of course he rode them at the same time. This of course happened while we were away and no witnesses were present. the sad thing is he still bull****s day in day out and hes 28 now.

Or maybe this guy is actually a complete legend and doesn't care what you think?

MadsL · 06-02-2013 01:32AM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

customer in a pub i used to work in was nicknamed 66/1 because he was always winning on big outsiders - or so he said. he was sitting at the bar on new years eve 2009 and me, the wife and her parents were sitting down just away from the bar with him in earshot.
he started going on about playing guitar with some of the biggest pub bands in dublin and was always in demand to play guitar. my father in law says to him 'ah lovely, ive my guitar in the car sure give us a tune'. he goes out to get the guitar and brings it in and 66/1's face drops.
he starts playing completely out of key and moaned at my FIL about the guitar being out of tune.

Sounds legit, until we get to...

only thing is, frank had paid hundreds that morning to have the guitar professionally tuned

hundreds you say, "professionally tuned" you say. Just wondering where this professional work costing hundreds is to be had. I wonder how a professionally tuned guitar sounds more "in tune" than a amateur "in tune" guitar.

Concert Piano perhaps, guitar = stories from a bull****ter.

woodoo · 06-02-2013 01:34AM

MadsL wrote: »

Sounds legit, until we get to...

hundreds you say, "professionally tuned" you say. Just wondering where this professional work costing hundreds is to be had. I wonder how a professionally tuned guitar sounds more "in tune" than a amateur "in tune" guitar.

Concert Piano perhaps, guitar = stories from a bull****ter.

caught in the act telling tall tales in a thread about bull****ters

RWCNT · 06-02-2013 01:36AM

MadsL wrote: »

Sounds legit, until we get to...

hundreds you say, "professionally tuned" you say. Just wondering where this professional work costing hundreds is to be had. I wonder how a professionally tuned guitar sounds more "in tune" than a amateur "in tune" guitar.

Concert Piano perhaps, guitar = stories from a bull****ter.

Thought the same, perhaps admiral isn't too up on guitars and his/her father in law had actually just had the thing professionally set up as some people do.

Also - bull****ting can be an absolute art form from some people. Obviously it's a cringe to hear some people trying to big themselves up but when you hear a proper surreal yarn that's so funny you're willing to suspend your belief it's magic. The kind of stories told by people in pubs who've mastered their craft after years of dedication to the point a mere mortal can't even make the same bull**** story sound halfway decent.

admiralofthefleet · 06-02-2013 01:38AM

RWCNT wrote: »

Thought the same, perhaps admiral isn't too up on guitars and his/her father in law had actually just had the thing professionally set up as some people do.

when it comes to guitars i dont know my arse from my elbow

all i can say is, he did pay a shedload to get it tuned

7 7 12 · 06-02-2013 01:40AM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

when it comes to guitars i dont know my arse from my elbow

all i can say is, he did pay a shedload to get it tuned

Rubbish sure there's an I phone and Android app that do it free

castletownman · 06-02-2013 01:41AM

The Fine Gael election promises forum is that way

>

John_D80 · 06-02-2013 01:43AM

Used to know a lad before who, among other things:

-Owned 4 petrol stations in Dublin
-Was a world champion quad racer
-Bred award winning huskies
-Won awards for his photograhy
-Used to photograph 'Page 3' girls
-Dated all the well known Irish models
-Imported high spec japanese super cars

He was, and no doubt remains, an absolute legend when it came to being a total spoofer. Anything you could do, he could do better.

Very sad individual when I think back on him, but what a laugh.

admiralofthefleet · 06-02-2013 01:43AM

7 7 12 wrote: »

Rubbish sure there's an I phone and Android app that do it free

in 2009 and for a 66 year old that still uses a 3210?

MadsL · 06-02-2013 01:44AM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

when it comes to guitars i dont know my arse from my elbow

all i can say is, he did pay a shedload to get it tuned

Send him my way, he's an idiot with a lot of cash. I'll find a use for him.

IceFjoem · 06-02-2013 01:45AM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

when it comes to guitars i dont know my arse from my elbow

all i can say is, he did pay a shedload to get it tuned

He probably meant he got it "tuned-up", in the same way one gets their car engine "tuned-up" from a mechanic. Likely had nothing to do with the tuning of the notes themselves.

Anyway...I liked the story Admiral!:)

Saint_Mel · 06-02-2013 01:47AM

If you're on twitter, give @Jamesjohn1983 a follow. His account is called TroyStories and is full of bullshizzle stories about a fella called Troy.

Some are hilarious,even if made up. Although I find it gets annoying when other people make up their own Troy Story and send them in to him.

channro · 06-02-2013 01:47AM

I remember a lot of these stories when I started secondary school. One that stands out:

"My uncle is president of Bolivia"

Stories from the bullshítter.

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