Stories from the bullshítter.

joe stodge

I'd say everyone knows one of these lads, someone that any story that comes out of their mouth is utter bullshït.

A lad I know is always going on about DJing in clubs all over ireland and was one Friday morning banging on about DJing a club in Dublin. I decided to call his bluff along with 2 other lads and headed to said club.

To our major surprise he wasn't there nor was he advertised to play there. when I confronted him about on the Monday about him not being there he said "I got called on Friday evening to cover a set in a club in London."

I'm sure he was, anyone else have any blatant bullshït stories people have told them?

kfallon

Guy I worked with years ago was always at it every Monday about his weekend.

If bullshit was music he would have been The Beatles :rolleyes:

smash

Just look in thread about the fella paying his motor tax fine...

Senna

One guy from college was the worst, the most unbelievable lies every, done this, done that, done her, her, her and her mother.

Sometimes, with people like those, you just have to play along and feel sorry for them. You can call them out on it, but it probably wont stop them and if they're lying that much, they probably have more problems than you.

LizT

This thread makes me think of Jay from the inbetweeners.

Ruudi_Mentari

Oh, to be that young again whole lotta nontruth in competition to get ahead.

Actually, it doesn't even peter out for many!! If at all.

Ihatecuddles-old

LizT wrote: »

This thread makes me think of Jay from the inbetweeners.

Best show ever. After arrested development...


Jay: So I had one bent over the table here, there was one up here who I was fingering and I was just toe ****ing the one on the floor.
Will: So when do we get to meet these lucky ladies?
Jay: You can't, they've gone back to the playboy mansion

sinjin_smythe

No word of a lie, a friend of mine somehow managed to ride 2 girls at oxygen one year, fair enough its not completely impossible, but no he didnt have to stop there, they both had to be female chiropractors (somehow nurses didnt sound hot enough), oh and of course he rode them at the same time. This of course happened while we were away and no witnesses were present. the sad thing is he still bull****s day in day out and hes 28 now.

ArtyM

Yeah, I know a few of them. Sad f**kers.
This one guy - I met him at a party in Simon Cowels's house last year, was the worst.
There I was, chattin to Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss and was just about to let them fight for the right to mount the count (if ya know what I mean, lol, rofl, omg, hashtag-amazingdude, hashtag-f**kinawesomemagaguy,#wowguy,#hi5buddudeguymanyoyoMagnetsBitch)

dorkacle

I know two blokes who go on like this, one from work and one from college...
All the usual crap about scoring girls and the like...

I'm trying to think of specific stories they go on about but I can't remember any because I just tune out when they are waffling away :P

admiralofthefleet

customer in a pub i used to work in was nicknamed 66/1 because he was always winning on big outsiders - or so he said. he was sitting at the bar on new years eve 2009 and me, the wife and her parents were sitting down just away from the bar with him in earshot.
he started going on about playing guitar with some of the biggest pub bands in dublin and was always in demand to play guitar. my father in law says to him 'ah lovely, ive my guitar in the car sure give us a tune'. he goes out to get the guitar and brings it in and 66/1's face drops.
he starts playing completely out of key and moaned at my FIL about the guitar being out of tune.
only thing is, frank had paid hundreds that morning to have the guitar professionally tuned

juan.kerr

ArtyM wrote: »

Yeah, I know a few of them. Sad f**kers.
This one guy - I met him at a party in Simon Cowels's house last year, was the worst.
There I was, chattin to Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss and was just about to let them fight for the right to mount the count (if ya know what I mean, lol, rofl, omg, hashtag-amazingdude, hashtag-f**kinawesomemagaguy,#wowguy,#hi5buddudeguymanyoyoMagnetsBitch)

You could at least pick decent looking birds for your story...

kfallon

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

Best show ever. After arrested development...


Jay: So I had one bent over the table here, there was one up here who I was fingering and I was just toe ****ing the one on the floor.
Will: So when do we get to meet these lucky ladies?
Jay: You can't, they've gone back to the playboy mansion

Get her to put the condom on......with her arsehole :pac:

jamesbondings

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blO3EtP_D10

everyone knows that person, i played this song to her.........she ranted about how she hates "those bitches" .......

some people never learn

Ruudi_Mentari

joe stodge wrote: »

A lad I know is always going on about DJing in clubs all over ireland and was one Friday morning banging on about DJing a club in Dublin. I decided to call his bluff along with 2 other lads and headed to said club.

To our major surprise he wasn't there nor was he advertised to play there. when I confronted him about on the Monday about him not being there he said "I got called on Friday evening to cover a set in a club in London."

i'd say there's a lot of that considering how one solitary numpty can acquire such a slot.

At least when it was bands their actual DIY musicality and word as a whole was more feasible these are vein, disengenuous times

dd972

It's funny how these types of people are always standing around gobbing off in pubs, when in reality they'd never get the time to go to the pub if they were to accomplish even 30% of their deeds.

Scruffles

agreeing with senna in that there will be some of them who do have,um problems.

some people have an urge to do lie,they can throw out lies like a sprinkler throws out water; its called pathalogical lying,they may even believe what theyre saying if their reality is crossing over into fantasy.

have known someone online for years like that,he was a true bully and pyschopath as am still damaged by him and really need to get accessible help,but besides that in terms of lieing he woud make many new accounts every day and every new account woud have a different life and a different severe or terminal disability to gain pity,he used very vulnerable people for disability support he didnt need and pity;there were many genuinely disabled members he used it felt even worse when he was taking advantage of terminaly ill or severely mentaly ill people who were near crisis.

some people feel they have to lie because they think people will feel bad of them and their life.
doesnt matter what life have got,if its what like doing then its got f all to do with anyone else.

Gee_G

I think everyone knows somebody like this. They obviously lacking something in their lives to feel like they have to lie. I feel sorry for them. But I do have a friend that does it all the time, about stupid stuff and NEVER remembers the little fibs she has told. I thoroughly enjoy trying to trip her up about them

7 7 12

weedhead wrote: »

No word of a lie, a friend of mine somehow managed to ride 2 girls at oxygen one year, fair enough its not completely impossible, but no he didnt have to stop there, they both had to be female chiropractors (somehow nurses didnt sound hot enough), oh and of course he rode them at the same time. This of course happened while we were away and no witnesses were present. the sad thing is he still bull****s day in day out and hes 28 now.

Or maybe this guy is actually a complete legend and doesn't care what you think?

MadsL

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

customer in a pub i used to work in was nicknamed 66/1 because he was always winning on big outsiders - or so he said. he was sitting at the bar on new years eve 2009 and me, the wife and her parents were sitting down just away from the bar with him in earshot.
he started going on about playing guitar with some of the biggest pub bands in dublin and was always in demand to play guitar. my father in law says to him 'ah lovely, ive my guitar in the car sure give us a tune'. he goes out to get the guitar and brings it in and 66/1's face drops.
he starts playing completely out of key and moaned at my FIL about the guitar being out of tune.

Sounds legit, until we get to...

only thing is, frank had paid hundreds that morning to have the guitar professionally tuned

hundreds you say, "professionally tuned" you say. Just wondering where this professional work costing hundreds is to be had. I wonder how a professionally tuned guitar sounds more "in tune" than a amateur "in tune" guitar.

Concert Piano perhaps, guitar = stories from a bull****ter.

woodoo

MadsL wrote: »

Sounds legit, until we get to...



hundreds you say, "professionally tuned" you say. Just wondering where this professional work costing hundreds is to be had. I wonder how a professionally tuned guitar sounds more "in tune" than a amateur "in tune" guitar.

Concert Piano perhaps, guitar = stories from a bull****ter.

caught in the act telling tall tales in a thread about bull****ters

RWCNT

MadsL wrote: »

Sounds legit, until we get to...



hundreds you say, "professionally tuned" you say. Just wondering where this professional work costing hundreds is to be had. I wonder how a professionally tuned guitar sounds more "in tune" than a amateur "in tune" guitar.

Concert Piano perhaps, guitar = stories from a bull****ter.

Thought the same, perhaps admiral isn't too up on guitars and his/her father in law had actually just had the thing professionally set up as some people do.

Also - bull****ting can be an absolute art form from some people. Obviously it's a cringe to hear some people trying to big themselves up but when you hear a proper surreal yarn that's so funny you're willing to suspend your belief it's magic. The kind of stories told by people in pubs who've mastered their craft after years of dedication to the point a mere mortal can't even make the same bull**** story sound halfway decent.

admiralofthefleet

RWCNT wrote: »

Thought the same, perhaps admiral isn't too up on guitars and his/her father in law had actually just had the thing professionally set up as some people do.

when it comes to guitars i dont know my arse from my elbow

all i can say is, he did pay a shedload to get it tuned

7 7 12

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

when it comes to guitars i dont know my arse from my elbow

all i can say is, he did pay a shedload to get it tuned

Rubbish sure there's an I phone and Android app that do it free

castletownman

The Fine Gael election promises forum is that way

---

>

John_D80

Used to know a lad before who, among other things:

-Owned 4 petrol stations in Dublin
-Was a world champion quad racer
-Bred award winning huskies
-Won awards for his photograhy
-Used to photograph 'Page 3' girls
-Dated all the well known Irish models
-Imported high spec japanese super cars

He was, and no doubt remains, an absolute legend when it came to being a total spoofer. Anything you could do, he could do better.

Very sad individual when I think back on him, but what a laugh.

admiralofthefleet

7 7 12 wrote: »

Rubbish sure there's an I phone and Android app that do it free

in 2009 and for a 66 year old that still uses a 3210?

MadsL

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

when it comes to guitars i dont know my arse from my elbow

all i can say is, he did pay a shedload to get it tuned

Send him my way, he's an idiot with a lot of cash. I'll find a use for him.

IceFjoem

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

when it comes to guitars i dont know my arse from my elbow

all i can say is, he did pay a shedload to get it tuned

He probably meant he got it "tuned-up", in the same way one gets their car engine "tuned-up" from a mechanic. Likely had nothing to do with the tuning of the notes themselves.

Anyway...I liked the story Admiral!:)

Saint_Mel

If you're on twitter, give @Jamesjohn1983 a follow. His account is called TroyStories and is full of bullshizzle stories about a fella called Troy.

Some are hilarious,even if made up. Although I find it gets annoying when other people make up their own Troy Story and send them in to him.

channro

I remember a lot of these stories when I started secondary school. One that stands out:

"My uncle is president of Bolivia"

Ruudi_Mentari

IceFjoem wrote: »

He probably meant he got it "tuned-up", in the same way one gets their car engine "tuned-up" from a mechanic. Likely had nothing to do with the tuning of the notes themselves.

Anyway...I liked the story Admiral!:)

He had it professionally calibrated!

in tune is roughly just that. no such perfections right down to the .000001 of a binary...

The Master

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

only thing is, frank had paid hundreds that morning to have the guitar professionally tuned

MadsL wrote: »

Sounds legit, until we get to...
hundreds you say, "professionally tuned" you say. Just wondering where this professional work costing hundreds is to be had. I wonder how a professionally tuned guitar sounds more "in tune" than a amateur "in tune" guitar.

Concert Piano perhaps, guitar = stories from a bull****ter.

Boards bulshitter caught out

IceFjoem

Ruudi_Mentari wrote: »

He had it professionally calibrated!

in tune is roughly just that. no such perfections right down to the .000001 of a binary...

I think we're in agreement, I'm not sure I understand what you're saying though?

4zn76tysfajdxp

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

in 2009 and for a 66 year old that still uses a 3210?

He'd most likely be able to tune it himself by ear, then.

castletownman

channro wrote: »

I remember a lot of these stories when I started secondary school. One that stands out:

"My uncle is president of Bolivia"

I went to school with a lad who used to claim that he lived in the highest house in Leinster. Like it was something amazing or something!

Ruudi_Mentari

IceFjoem wrote: »

I think we're in agreement, I'm not sure I understand what you're saying though?

nevermind. I've a societal axe to grind

IceFjoem

Ruudi_Mentari wrote: »

nevermind. I've a societal axe to grind

Enjoy!

KKkitty

A "friend" of mine used to boast about lads she was with on nights out but strangely no one was ever around to see these events in person. She'd never even chat up lads if anyone was around. She also lied to a friend about not being out the weekend previously and was photographed out that same weekend and still lied about it.

4zn76tysfajdxp

KKkitty wrote: »

A "friend" of mine used to boast about lads she was with on nights out but strangely no one was ever around to see these events in person. She'd never even chat up lads if anyone was around. She also lied to a friend about not being out the weekend previously and was photographed out that same weekend and still lied about it.

Probably riding lads.

7 7 12

Some amount of bullshot on the powering tax fine with 6000 1 c coins thread

KKkitty

Guadalupe Green Sitcom wrote: »

Probably riding lads.

The same girl could be talking to me and we'd both see a black cat and she'd swear it was a white one.

IceFjoem

I have a friend like this, constantly making shít up, not necessarily in a boasting fashion, more in an - "I'm an expert on everything" kind of way. Only problem is, he's wrong about 90% of the time. The interesting thing I find is that he is always called out on it by our group of friends.

On the other hand, I've known others to tell the most blatant lies and never get brought up on it. I can't quite put my finger on why, but this unfortunate friend just seems to lack the conviction or something to successfully execute his lies.

He's got a real talent for back-tracking though, I'll give him that!

Motivator

A known bull****ter drinks in my local. He's in his 50's, has a decent job & a family so he's by no means an idiot - he's just a liar. He arrived in one night from the races & sits down next to me & a few friends & proceeds to tell everyone at the table who he met at The Curragh. Now despite being a nobody, he was apparently in the parade ring chatting to owners, trainers & jockeys. All of a sudden he felt a tap on his shoulder....

Us: "Who was it Pat?"

Pat: "Jaysus lads wasn't it himelf, Twas Sheikh Mohammed"

Us: "Oh really? And what did he want?"

Pat: "Nothing much, he just said 'Well Pat' "

I nearly collapsed with the laughing, needless to say Pat wasn't impressed when the whole pub heard his story off of us before he got a chance to tell them himself. To this day he won't admit he's a liar & still gets a gruelling off of everyone who drinks in the pub.

Truncheon Rouge

channro wrote: »

I remember a lot of these stories when I started secondary school. One that stands out:

"My uncle is president of Bolivia"

Pero, si, es veridad.
Ju say jello to my nephew next time ju see him, here ju try some of dees.

twowheelsonly

A few bull****ting ex college friends of mine once tried to convince everyone that they, and not I, founded Facebook.


Mark.

Bipolar Joe

I used to live with a dude who told everyone he was an orphan. It would give him many sympathy votes. Then I met his Father.

Timmyctc

We played poker with a lad who said his dad used to be a pro poker player ( turned out his dad truly was a sorta semi pro poker player) but he claimed he too was often on the World Poker Circuit entering into big money tourneys. Played poker with him one night and no word of a lie he tried to play a straight

Q-K-A-2-3
he also claimed one of his hands was a flush with a pair of aces kicker.

PrettyBoy

KKkitty wrote: »

The same girl could be talking to me and we'd both see a black cat and she'd swear it was a white one.

Colour-blind liars are the worst kind.

Where To

I could tell you a few gems but a taximan never tells tales out of school.

B.A._Baracus

Where To wrote: »

I could tell you a few gems but a taximan never tells tales out of school.

You're a taxi man? :P


But yeah, to add to the thread I have come across a few total bullshitters in my time. I never got the mentality of it All bullshitters "big themselves up" - its always the same.

But these people have to be fucking mad, stupid or such fucking fools.