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Chuck Norris!

  • 01-02-2013 04:18PM
    #1
    Banjo String
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,380 ✭✭✭✭


    What a living legend.

    A few facts I've read about Chuck.


    Chuck Norris doesn't read instructions, he stares them down until they tell him what he needs to know.

    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, hence why there's no life on it.

    Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.

    (Twice)

    Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

    My personal fave =
    When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

    Chuck, he is some man!

    What's the favourite fact you've read about him?


«13

Comments

  • #2
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Chuck Norris invented the giraffe when he uppercut a horse!


  • #3
    c_man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,436 ✭✭✭c_man


    He backs BiBi

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXzTZelbz2E


  • #4
    Banjo String
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,380 ✭✭✭✭Banjo String


    Chuck Norris once threw a grenade.

    It killed fifty people. THEN exploded.


  • #5
    davet82
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,753 ✭✭✭davet82


    chuck norris should lock this thread


  • #6
    shanec1928
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,294 ✭✭✭shanec1928


    who cares...


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  • #7
    Pilotdude5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 619 ✭✭✭Pilotdude5


    Chuck Norris is kind of a homophobic, bible-toting republican gun-nut who uses his celebrity status to promote his ideas.


  • #8
    --Kaiser--
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,461 ✭✭✭--Kaiser--


    Hey, it's 2005 again!


  • #9
    Sinfonia
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,854 ✭✭✭Sinfonia


    Is it 2004 already?!


    Edit: Darn.


  • #10
    Draydis80
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31 ✭Draydis80


    Is chuck short for chuckle?


  • #11
    ProudDUB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,569 ✭✭✭✭ProudDUB


    There is a whole website dedicated to this OP.

    http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/


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  • #12
    luketitz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 690 ✭✭✭luketitz


    Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.


  • #13
    Tweeter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 257 ✭✭Tweeter


    Chuck Norris can divide by zero


  • #14
    Duvetdays
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 478 ✭✭Duvetdays


    Chuck Norris doesn't fear death, death fears Chuck Norris.


  • #15
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 36,496 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Chuck Norris has his own forum but you can't access it.


  • #16
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    I don't think Chuck Norris is a very nice person and I'm not one bit afraid of him.


  • #17
    davet82
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,753 ✭✭✭davet82


    there is a chuck norris app for this


  • #18
    The Road Runner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 304 ✭✭The Road Runner


    Jesus could walk on water but chuck norris can swim on land


  • #19
    SpiceWeasel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 75 ✭✭SpiceWeasel


    Once a year, on his birthday, Chuck Norris selects 1 child to hurl into the sun


  • #20
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    --Kaiser-- wrote: »
    Hey, it's 2005 again!

    Chuck Norris made us go back in time!!!!


  • #21
    Sinfonia
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,854 ✭✭✭Sinfonia


    Where To wrote: »
    I don't think Chuck Norris is a very nice person and I'm not one bit afraid of him.
    Maybe someone could photoshop Norris into this


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  • #22
    michael.dublin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 206 ✭✭michael.dublin


    The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was....... when he thought he had made a mistake


  • #23
    B.A._Baracus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,309 ✭✭✭✭B.A._Baracus


    Everytime the boogeyman goes to sleep. He checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.


    The best ever chuck norris line.... :pac:


  • #24
    wobzilla1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 437 ✭✭wobzilla1


    Anyone can piss on the floor, only chuck Norris can **** on the ceiling


  • #25
    Anyone
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,376 ✭✭✭Anyone


    This would be better if we used David Norris instead of Chuck.


  • #26
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris!


  • #27
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Chucky ar lar , couldn't think of anything else.


  • #28
    LuvSpudz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 163 ✭✭LuvSpudz


    How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?


  • #29
    HTML5!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 284 ✭✭HTML5!


    There used to be a street named 'Chuck Norris', but they had to rename it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.


  • #30
    CruelCoin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,463 ✭✭✭CruelCoin


    Beneath that chin, there is only another fist.

    Chuck Norris pays no taxes. He just sends the IRS a signed photo of himself.

    Chuck Norris doesn't push himself up in pushups, he pushed the earth down.


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  • #31
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    CruelCoin wrote: »
    Beneath that chin, there is only another fist.

    Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face. Chuck Norris' beard has a face.


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