Chuck Norris!

Banjo String

What a living legend.

A few facts I've read about Chuck.


Chuck Norris doesn't read instructions, he stares them down until they tell him what he needs to know.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, hence why there's no life on it.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.

(Twice)

Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

My personal fave =
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck, he is some man!

What's the favourite fact you've read about him?

smash

Chuck Norris invented the giraffe when he uppercut a horse!

c_man

He backs BiBi

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXzTZelbz2E

Banjo String

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade.

It killed fifty people. THEN exploded.

davet82

chuck norris should lock this thread

shanec1928

who cares...

Pilotdude5

Chuck Norris is kind of a homophobic, bible-toting republican gun-nut who uses his celebrity status to promote his ideas.

--Kaiser--

Hey, it's 2005 again!

Sinfonia

Is it 2004 already?!


Edit: Darn.

Draydis80

Is chuck short for chuckle?

ProudDUB

There is a whole website dedicated to this OP.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

luketitz

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

Tweeter

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

Duvetdays

Chuck Norris doesn't fear death, death fears Chuck Norris.

pickarooney

Chuck Norris has his own forum but you can't access it.

Where To

I don't think Chuck Norris is a very nice person and I'm not one bit afraid of him.

davet82

there is a chuck norris app for this

The Road Runner

Jesus could walk on water but chuck norris can swim on land

SpiceWeasel

Once a year, on his birthday, Chuck Norris selects 1 child to hurl into the sun

smash

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Hey, it's 2005 again!

Chuck Norris made us go back in time!!!!

Sinfonia

Where To wrote: »

I don't think Chuck Norris is a very nice person and I'm not one bit afraid of him.

Maybe someone could photoshop Norris into this

michael.dublin

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was....... when he thought he had made a mistake

B.A._Baracus

Everytime the boogeyman goes to sleep. He checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.


The best ever chuck norris line.... :pac:

wobzilla1

Anyone can piss on the floor, only chuck Norris can **** on the ceiling

Anyone

This would be better if we used David Norris instead of Chuck.

smash

When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris!

Sunnyisland

Chucky ar lar , couldn't think of anything else.

LuvSpudz

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

HTML5!

There used to be a street named 'Chuck Norris', but they had to rename it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

CruelCoin

Beneath that chin, there is only another fist.

Chuck Norris pays no taxes. He just sends the IRS a signed photo of himself.

Chuck Norris doesn't push himself up in pushups, he pushed the earth down.

smash

CruelCoin wrote: »

Beneath that chin, there is only another fist.

Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face. Chuck Norris' beard has a face.

Fromthetrees

Anyone wrote: »

This would be better if we used David Norris instead of Chuck.

David and Chuck are brothers right, how does Norris from Coronation Street fit into their family, is he the biological father of both yeah?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYom2NqCXhs

folan

Chuck Norris seems to be a typical American Christian in so much so that he has been married more than once, and had a daughter outside of marriage while still married. But homosexuality and gay marriage will destroy the sanctity of marriage.

Chuck Norris is not a good man.

Banjo String

Chuck Norris once banned Zaph and Gordon from the prison forum.

1ZRed

Who gives a fuk about him. The amount of ball sucking people do over him is unreal.

Hoop66

Chuck Norris is a massive closet-case.

B.A._Baracus

I remember Chris Jericho (a WWE Wrestler) tried to have his own version of the chuck norris facts thing a few years ago. Coming out with things like "Chris Jericho has never been injured a day in his career because his body is too afraid to injure him."

It was sad. Because it was Jericho himself making them via his Twitter account. I know you could say its only a joke. But making them about himself? trying to get his fans to start making and spreading more about him? ... sad.

long range shooter

Chuck sorts out most problems

http://www.funnymos.com/obamas-revenge.html

Billy Mays

Chuck Norris is a d!ck

the purple tin

Anyone looking for a true warrior and martial arts legend should read up on Hank Slomanski. 'Fantapants' Norris isn't fit to lace his boots.

holystungun9

When Chuck Norris takes a dump he doesn't flush the toilet.....he scares the sh1t out of it!

GalwayGuy2

Chuck Norris never wet the bed...the bed wet itself.

I think the best was in the expendables:P

Satts

YOU’RE IN THE pub, and one of your mates asks: whatever happened to Chuck Norris? So you google him when you get home, but instead of the usual 20 million results, you get this message: “Google won’t search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don’t find Chuck Norris – he finds you.”

EoghanIRL

Chuck norries tears cure cancer , too bad he never cried.

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands , now called the islands .

Vicar in a tutu

He's a jabroni

Banjo String

David Norris doesn't cut his grass...


He looks at it, and dares it to grow.

rolliepoley

I've a pain in me Chuck Norris.

JohnDee

Chuck Norris doesn't shower. He just stands under shower head and stares..... until it cries.

Noxin

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

michael.dublin

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his *** kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

michael.dublin

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.