Loungers who Lunch; Cake, Bovril and Penguins...

Ah_Yeah · 31-01-2013 06:03PM

Roesy wrote: »

Chickpea, butterbean and chorizo stew simmering away on the cooker and will be ready to eat in about 15 minutes yet I'm having a mental battle with myself about whether I should have some mini eggs or a nibble of blue cheese to tide me over.

EAT ALL THE MINI EGGS

rebel girl 15 · 31-01-2013 06:13PM

Morning got off to a horrible start, dodo here misread my timetable. Went down after briefing to teach my year 8 bottom set to find my year 9 set 3 instead, had nothing planned! Inspectionlesson went well though, shattered now

Miaireland · 31-01-2013 06:17PM

Stench Blossoms wrote: »

I'm on a quick break so I said I'd go on a quick rant.

The topic: My new housemate.

Now, as you may no I am a Dub residing in Galway. I have been here a few years now and I like it. The only thing I miss about Dublin are the shops.

So this new housemate of mine is a Dub. You'd think we'd get along? No. He is what I like to call a 'on holidays Dub'. He is very a loud. He likes to call the other people in the house 'culchies' and 'muck savages' and nudges me when he does it. I do not nudge back nor do I partake in calling anyone these names.

He arrives and one of the first things he says is 'Do youiis get up early in the morning? 'cos like I get up REEEEEEEALL early.' I get up at 6. Told him this and his reply was 'Ahhh heyor like, I get up at 8'. 8 o'clock early? Would ya get away out of that!

'Can I get yisser numba's incase I come home locked and can't get the key in the door. I've got two phones ya know, dunno which numba to give yis'. I reluctantly give him my number.

He then proceeds to tell us all about the 'pure deadly' job he's banked himself in Galway. 'Like I'm de manager of all of dem. I can fire people. I'm planning on given out a warning to this waster next week and if he starts crying I'm gonna just walk out of the room and laugh so hard that he can hear me.' - You sir are charming and defiantly management material.

He's got two phones ya know.

'I have a REEEEAAAL healthy diet so I do. Like I have an Actimel first thing in the morning then when I get to work I have 0% yogurt, maybe 2. Then I have a few sandwiches for lunch, couple of biscuits. Chops and veg for dinner'. Now as some of you might know I'm very much into my 'healthy eating' and this ladies and gentlemen is not 'Healthy Eating'. I explained to him that it wasn't actually that healthy at all and that the 0% yogurts have quite a lot of sugar in them. 'NOOOO WAY! Jesus that's mad isn't it. I'll cut them out and just have another sandwich.' The guy eats, wait for it, 5 sandwiches a day. Actually sandwich is a bit of an exaggeration. He has bread with butter on it. His 'few biscuits' is actually a half packet of biscuits.

Last night he has a GENIUS idea. 'Here lads, lets all do a come dine with me night, be deadly it would be.' I exchanged a look of pure confusion to my other housemate who gave me the same one back. The other housemate never cooks, ever. He gets dinner in work and if he doesn't he gets some sort of take away. I on the other hand love to cook but I am in my hole cooking for them.

BTW, did i mention that he's got two phones?

So that's all for now. He actually sounds quite harmless but try living with him. I might update with more stories.

He is not an Accountant by any chance? With B as the first letter of his forename and eats a lot of turnip?

He sounds a lot like a guy who I shared with. You have my sympathies.

Stench Blossoms · 31-01-2013 06:20PM

Miaireland wrote: »

He is not an Accountant by any chance? With B as the first letter of his forename and eats a lot of turnip?

He sounds a lot like a guy who I shared with. You have my sympathies.

Not an accountant no.

Another gem.

He says to the other housemate. 'Is there any astro pitches around. I love a good kick about'. He tells him where he plays. 'That's grand so I'll just come along with you'. 'Well actually we don't need players at the moment'. 'Ah that's grand, I'll just come along anyway incase someone doesn't turn up.'

I said to the old housemate later on 'Shall you be bringing him along?'. 'Nah, sure i told him we play on Wednesday, I actually play on Tuesdays'.

herisson · 31-01-2013 06:23PM

MOTIVATIONAL PENGUIN!

McChubbin · 31-01-2013 06:45PM

I need these.

PhysiologyRocks · 31-01-2013 06:53PM

McChubbin wrote: »

I need these.

Why, are your hands a bum?

McChubbin · 31-01-2013 06:57PM

PhysiologyRocks wrote: »

Why, are your hands a bum?

No, they're just really cold. On a serious note, my doctor says if I keep the fleshy pads of my hand warm, my Raynaud;s should stop giving me hassle.
Since I can't find decent gloves anywhere, I'm willing to make an eejit out of myself by investing a pair of handerpants. :P

confusticated · 31-01-2013 07:14PM

McChubbin, why don't you just buy cheap gloves in Penney's and cut the tops of the fingers off?

StenchBlossoms, do you have access to R&R? There's an "I hate my housemate" megathread there, it might be comforting to know you're not the only one suffering with such a gombeen.

Links234 · 31-01-2013 07:16PM

This is possibly the funniest thing I've heard in ages!

https://soundcloud.com/halsinden/sir-mix-a-lot-i-like-big-butts

"Baby Got Back" by Sir Mixalot read in spoken word style, hilarious! :pac:

IvyTheTerrible · 31-01-2013 07:18PM

I love how in German gloves are called Handschue - hand shoes!

Cerulean Chicken · 31-01-2013 07:23PM

Best name for anything ever is the Welsh for microwave - Popty ping!

Ah_Yeah · 31-01-2013 07:24PM

Cerulean Chicken wrote: »

Best name for anything ever is the Welsh for microwave - Popty ping!

I enjoy this.

It is interesting to know that "Bieber" means "Beaver" in German

Justin Beaver

HE IS A WOMAN :pac:

IvyTheTerrible · 31-01-2013 07:27PM

In France, walky talkies are called talky walkies...those crazy french!

homemadecider · 31-01-2013 07:27PM

OH just got offered a PhD after trying to get one (with funding) for months. He is over the the moon, we are going to our favourite restaurant tomorrow to celebrate!

I'm already doing the "Well hello doctor, would you like some tea doctor, oh doctor you're looking well today"

LenaClaire · 31-01-2013 07:28PM

I love etymology! I just put two and two together last week when I realized that the work fare as in taxi or train fare comes from the German word Fahren which is the verb for to travel

Cerulean Chicken · 31-01-2013 07:36PM

LenaClaire wrote: »

I love etymology! I just put two and two together last week when I realized that the work fare as in taxi or train fare comes from the German word Fahren which is the verb for to travel

Ooh that's a good one! I love it too, I love the development of words and phrases especially words/slang words that come from Irish originally, like phony, "dig it?" (although there are I think two theories for that one), so long, etc. I just love words and language in general. Yesterday my lovely boyfriend who knows I love words AND biology asked me did I know what a haemothorax was, I guessed a blood clot in your thoracic cavity, it's actually when it fills with blood (well in this case it was someone's lungs filling), I was close!

Cerulean Chicken · 31-01-2013 07:42PM

Oh my God I thought I put my dinner on 40 minutes ago, I had put it on the hob...and then turned it off at the wall

Sob, I'm hungry.

dfx- · 31-01-2013 07:45PM

homemadecider wrote: »

I'm already doing the "Well hello doctor, would you like some tea doctor, oh doctor you're looking well today"

This should be your bargaining tool for the foreseeable future, it will drive him mad:cool:

pampootie · 31-01-2013 07:54PM

Cerulean Chicken wrote: »

Oh my God I thought I put my dinner on 40 minutes ago, I had put it on the hob...and then turned it off at the wall Sob, I'm hungry.

Have a half block of cheddar to tide you over!

Cerulean Chicken · 31-01-2013 07:55PM

pampootie wrote: »

Have a half block of cheddar to tide you over!

I'm having my latest new snack, crispy lettuce bits with hummus

PhysiologyRocks · 31-01-2013 08:10PM

Where did the poor meatballs live?

In the spaghetto.

:D:D:D:D

xLexie · 31-01-2013 08:32PM

Why do people need to eat like farm animals? Need a trough in this house.

PhysiologyRocks · 31-01-2013 08:42PM

xLexie wrote: »

Why do people need to eat like farm animals?

You should read the anthropological studies of the famous anthropologists named James and Zoe*.

This dates back to the nineteenth century. In less industrialialised parts of the world, rural folk often didn't understand the difference between a barn and a house. As a result, they would often come home to the barn instead of the house at the end of a long slog on the farm.

Instead of sitting upon the settee with their elderly relatives, farmers would curl up on a bale of hay with a farm animal (for example, a horse, or the recently extinct mamblemoose**).

As a result of the exhaustion and confusion that caused an excess of time to be spent in the company of animals, people developed some odd eating habits. Some of these have persisted over the centuries.

*James and Zoe are totally real anthropologists and not at all names of the offspring of some loungers.

**Stay tuned for the history of the mamblemoose.

x Purple Pawprints x · 31-01-2013 08:43PM

Watching the Animal A&E Rehoming Special that's on TV3 at the moment.

Whispered · 31-01-2013 09:01PM

PhysiologyRocks wrote: »

You should read the anthropological studies of the famous anthropologists named James and Zoe*.

This dates back to the nineteenth century. In less industrialialised parts of the world, rural folk often didn't understand the difference between a barn and a house. As a result, they would often come home to the barn instead of the house at the end of a long slog on the farm.

Instead of sitting upon the settee with their elderly relatives, farmers would curl up on a bale of hay with a farm animal (for example, a horse, or the recently extinct mamblemoose**).

As a result of the exhaustion and confusion that caused an excess of time to be spent in the company of animals, people developed some odd eating habits. Some of these have persisted over the centuries.

*James and Zoe are totally real anthropologists and not at all names of the offspring of some loungers.

**Stay tuned for the history of the mamblemoose.

I'm quite upset that this wasn't really a post explaining the development of eating habits in humans. :mad:

x Purple Pawprints x · 31-01-2013 09:09PM

That Jo in Fair City really gets on my nerves.

Mars Bar · 31-01-2013 09:10PM

x Purple Pawprints x wrote: »

That Jo in Fair City really gets on my nerves.

Is that your wan who is cheating?

Can't stand her face.

PhysiologyRocks · 31-01-2013 09:11PM

Whispered wrote: »

I'm quite upset that this wasn't really a post explaining the development of eating habits in humans. :mad:

I think you'll find it is.

<theatrically swishes scarf, then storms off haughtily>

xLexie · 31-01-2013 09:13PM

Mars Bar wrote: »

Is that your wan who is cheating?

Can't stand her face.

Ahshurlookit!

Love Yvonne

Loungers who Lunch; Cake, Bovril and Penguins...

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