Is it wrong to ask her do we have a chance?

ShM · 28-01-2013 02:36AM #1

I have this friend who I really like, I've told her how I feel before but she has a boyfriend, alot of people think we would be good together! Would it be wrong to ask her 'where I would stand' if she was single?

banquo · 28-01-2013 02:38AM

It would. She might like you too, but she has a boyfriend and it's unfair to put that sort of pressure on her.

Also, you'd be doing yourself no favours in the long run.

/pats back

lintdrummer · 28-01-2013 02:38AM

ShM wrote: »

Would it be wrong to ask her 'where I would stand' if she was single?

Yes.

Because she isnt single.

Now feck off and leave my gf alone.

pedanticpat · 28-01-2013 02:39AM

You're in the friend zone. Accept it. If her relationship doesn't work out, grand other than that, shut up and deal with it.

0066ad · 28-01-2013 02:39AM

ShM wrote: »

I have this friend who I really like, I've told her how I feel before but she has a boyfriend, alot of people think we would be good together! Would it be wrong to ask her 'where I would stand' if she was single?

You waited 2 years to say that?

fergiesfolly · 28-01-2013 02:40AM

Where do you stand? Outside her door while she's shaggin someone she actually fancies.

Jacob T · 28-01-2013 02:40AM

ShM wrote: »

I have this friend who I really like, I've told her how I feel before but she has a boyfriend, alot of people think we would be good together! Would it be wrong to ask her 'where I would stand' if she was single?

That all depends, what are her measurements?

Czarcasm · 28-01-2013 02:41AM

ShM wrote: »

I have this friend who I really like, I've told her how I feel before but she has a boyfriend, alot of people think we would be good together! Would it be wrong to ask her 'where I would stand' if she was single?

I presume "As far away from me as possible!" is the reply you would get if you did ask her that question.

admiralofthefleet · 28-01-2013 02:46AM

just stay in the friendzone, you'll reach level 100 soon

1ZRed · 28-01-2013 02:49AM

You really like her but waited too long and now she has a boyfriend.

Registered Jan 2011, posts: 1

You be doin' some procrastinatin', boy

hatrickpatrick · 28-01-2013 02:59AM

Aside from being morally questionable, it would almost guarantee you'd have no chance of ever getting with her.

I honestly don't know anyone who got with a girl they liked by just coming out and telling her they liked her bluntly. Most lads I know got there through flirting with her over time and eventually going for it, not a confession.

Celly Smunt · 28-01-2013 03:00AM

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Aside from being morally questionable, it would almost guarantee you'd have no chance of ever getting with her.

I honestly don't know anyone who got with a girl they liked by just coming out and telling her they liked her bluntly. Most lads I know got there through flirting with her over time and eventually going for it, not a confession.

a nice car and money can help too.

Mr. CooL ICE · 28-01-2013 03:08AM

Leave her be. If she is happy with her boyfriend, then jerk off to her pictures on facebook

Where To · 28-01-2013 03:11AM

I say you should tell her. Life's too short not to tell people what you think of them, you'll regret it on your deathbed if you don't.

P.S. I think yous are all w@nkers.

im invisible · 28-01-2013 03:17AM

is it worth losing her as a friend over? i'd say go for it, and one way or the other it'll be sorted

*probably the other...

Itwasntme. · 28-01-2013 03:23AM

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Aside from being morally questionable, it would almost guarantee you'd have no chance of ever getting with her.

I honestly don't know anyone who got with a girl they liked by just coming out and telling her they liked her bluntly. Most lads I know got there through flirting with her over time and eventually going for it, not a confession.

I don't know. I prefer confessions to flirting over time- signal reading is not my forte. OP, when this girl is single, go ahead and confess if you feel like it but till then you can do any one of the following:

- Stick it to as many willing women as possible in an effort to ride your feelings away;
- Channel the angst into song writing for either Adele, Taylor Swift or some other such moany singer;
- Make a YouTube video with placards about it- remember to hide your identity;
- Tug yourself into mindless oblivion every chance you get.

All the best.

Where To wrote: »

I say you should tell her. Life's too short not to tell people what you think of them, you'll regret it on your deathbed if you don't.

P.S. I think yous are all w@nkers.

I am not even offended. Guilty as charged.

sethasaurus · 28-01-2013 05:16AM

Grow a pair and find another chick!

Jesus Wept · 28-01-2013 05:22AM

You miss 100% or the shots you don't take.
Wayne Gretzky

SV · 28-01-2013 05:33AM

What is it with guys and the inability to stay in the friendzone, jesus.

No, don't ask, if she has any interest in you you'll know about it when and if she's ever single.

deco nate · 28-01-2013 05:41AM

SV wrote: »

What is it with guys and the inability to stay in the friendzone, jesus.

No, don't ask, if she has any interest in you you'll know about it when and if she's ever single.

feck off!really?never take this advice.
why,cos if you do you will always think...
what if.. and if you ask well at least you know.
yet if you dont....?
cop on...

SV · 28-01-2013 06:18AM

deco nate wrote: »

feck off!really?never take this advice.
why,cos if you do you will always think...
what if.. and if you ask well at least you know.
yet if you dont....?
cop on...

Dya know how many women are sick to the teeth of lads they thought were friends asking them out? or seeing if something could happen between them?

I know of two who never talk to their 'best friends' anymore that happened to be lads because of this.
If you want to to risk the loss of a friend just because you think the key to happiness lies in a relationship then fair enough.

OP, you've told her how you feel. It's not like she isn't aware of it, if she was interested in you she'd be with you.
It's honestly no wonder there's this general opinion that goes around that women and men cannot be friends with the majority thinking this is a good idea :rolleyes:

im invisible · 28-01-2013 06:29AM

just for the record, i dont think it's a good idea at all, but if he's kinda obsessed with her, i reckon it mightn't be the worst idea to get her out of his life....

or something, maybe im just projecting

deco nate · 28-01-2013 06:42AM

SV wrote: »

Dya know how many women are sick to the teeth of lads they thought were friends asking them out? or seeing if something could happen between them?

I know of two who never talk to their 'best friends' anymore that happened to be lads because of this.
If you want to to risk the loss of a friend just because you think the key to happiness lies in a relationship then fair enough.

OP, you've told her how you feel. It's not like she isn't aware of it, if she was interested in you she'd be with you.
It's honestly no wonder there's this general opinion that goes around that women and men cannot be friends with the majority thinking this is a good idea :rolleyes:

thats your thoughts on it.i beg to differ....
sometimes it works,some times not,
but you do not know how it will
turn out.nor do i,but like i said..
if you dont know.ffs

just cos 2 people that you know
that it went wrong for,****in hell

this world would be a bad place to be if we
just tried things once and cos it went wrong for some
one else and we gave up on it...
go for it op!!!

Sofiztikated · 28-01-2013 06:43AM

ShM wrote: »

I have this friend who I really like, I've told her how I feel before but she has a boyfriend, alot of people think we would be good together! Would it be wrong to ask her 'where I would stand' if she was single?

Yes, it's wrong.

You've told her how you feel before. Did that work? No.
So why, now that she has a boyfriend, will she suddenly think, "D'ya know what, I could really go for some ShM right now, even though I've rejected his advances before. My boyfriend that I'm going out with now, who I have chosen to go out with, ah, he'll understand."?

Unfortunately, this is not some teen romcom movie. Shít like that doesn't really happen.

D'ya know what else doesn't work? Having your díck poking through a pizza box, and when women open it, they get all horned up and moist. All that really happens is you get cheese, pepperoni and mushrooms on your mickey.

Fr_Dougal · 28-01-2013 06:57AM

ShM wrote: »

I have this friend who I really like, I've told her how I feel before but she has a boyfriend, alot of people think we would be good together! Would it be wrong to ask her 'where I would stand' if she was single?

I think you already know the answer, now get yourself a bottle of vodka, a Coldplay album and a mobile phone and let's see what happens.

touts · 28-01-2013 08:01AM

ShM wrote: »

I have this friend who I really like, I've told her how I feel before but she has a boyfriend, alot of people think we would be good together! Would it be wrong to ask her 'where I would stand' if she was single?

You've told her how you feel. It's out there now. IF she splits from the boyfriend who knows how that seed will grow. If however you push it and ask her "where I would stand IF you were single" then that's just desperate and she will see it as either pathetic or creepy. Either way it is poison to your chances.

At this stage you have done all you can. Wait and see what happens between her and her boyfriend. Lets face it if she is in her teens or early 20s it's likely that this is just one of many short flings of youth and if you stay a good friend (and not a creepy one) you have a good chance of being a future fling. If she is in her late 20s or early 30s then there is a good chance that he (not you) could be the one she spends her life with in which case you just need to get out of the way. But you don't have to be celibate while you wait. You should go out there and see what other options you have.

And I know where you are coming from. In my early 20s I really fancied a good friend but she had a boyfriend so I did nothing and instead had a few short to medium term relationships myself. Then she split up with the boyfriend, moved away and we never had a chance. Years later she told me she had feelings for me also but at that point I had firmly moved on and was very happy with the girl I would later marry. My friend has since married and is also very happy. Looking back I'm sure we would not have lasted had we hooked up and would not be as happy as we are now. In fact IF I had acted when she told me she had feelings for me then I would have split from the girl who actually turned out to be the love of my life and she would not have met the man who would go on to be hers. My friend was not the one I was meant to be with and I was not the one she was meant to be with. That's life.

Gummy Panda · 28-01-2013 08:11AM

Just ask her for what you really want

"any chance of a fúck?"

RoyalMarine · 28-01-2013 08:23AM

How would you feel if you had a GF and one of her mates told her how he felt about her, and then continued to ask more questions about them...

fúck off and leave them alone. She's with him. She's not single.

/end

mikemac1 · 28-01-2013 08:24AM

Drive her mad with jealously and she will want what she cannot have

Has she a sister or best friend?

Cee-Jay-Cee · 28-01-2013 08:32AM

She's not single so don't ask as you could end up ruining your friendship with her. If she breaks up with her BF then wait a while and then try and drop it into conversation without seeming like you intended to say it. If she felt the same way about you then she'd be with you now so don't ruin it by saying anything to her.

smokedeels · 28-01-2013 08:34AM

I dunno... often when people proclaim to like a friend it's the result of a few bad romantic experiences..... you start to think that getting-together with an attractive friend seems a good option. The logic being that everything will be the same between you with the added bonus of a ride/companionship.

I'm not sold on the notion... relationships come and go, finding good friends from either gender is much rarer.

Plus... she's with a dude, unless he's a d1ck and you know she's unhappy with him then asking her out suggests you're thinking more of yourself than her.

Also... tbh if you've been friends with her for a long time and know her well, I think you'd already be aware if you dug you.

Is it wrong to ask her do we have a chance?

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