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Did you compose any cringeworthy poems/songs/stories in your youth?

  • 23-01-2013 01:01AM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 986 ✭✭✭


    Did you ever write anything (like a story,song, poem etc) when you were a teenager and now look back on it and cringe?

    Because I certainly did :D

    So I was going through a box of my old school copybooks in the attic, and I found one which was almost entirely blank, except for one story. It detailed an erotic encounter between Mel B from the Spice Girls and my 14 year old self. It was full of the most god-awful, cringeworthy Mills & Boone-esque tripe.

    Here's a sample line : "The moonlight shone through the open window, gently caressing Mel's glistening naked buttocks, as she whispered to me "I wanna be your lover".

    So that's my embarrassing teenage writing. My older brother used to write really soppy poems, which he later denied even though it was clearly his writing.

    Anybody out there got any samples of their work they'd care to share with AH?


«1

Comments

  • Posts: 18,160 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Definitely. I used to write a lot of scripts and the odd poem as a child. I don't know if I could bear the thought of ever uncovering them again.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,533 ✭✭✭SV


    I won't share them but I did write a silly amount of poems in my youth, all about this one girl. Pretty sure I thought I was a creative genius and everyone needed to read my work, yeah, I was a hipster at the age of 14.


    I'm pretty sure they're all in the Creative Writing forum on here actually under a previous username


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,393 ✭✭✭Ed Winchester


    I wrote millions of songs when I was a teenager. The most unbelievable tripe. I thought at the time I was the new John Lennon.

    I was listening to a lot of Radiohead at the time. Some really really dreary songs!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    Yeah, a few. I found one the other day I'd written when I was about 13/14 that I'd forgotten about. It has the lines 'I just want some acknowledgement, posthumously given, that I gave my life for this United Kingdom'. (edit: I'd posted it on boards before...)

    I was a precocious little prick.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 24,608 ✭✭✭✭arybvtcw0eolkf


    Nope, I've always been pretty manly.. The strong silent type.. Too thick to write poetry tbh, although I'd love to have the ability.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,232 ✭✭✭ITS_A_BADGER


    she whispered to me "I wanna be your lover".

    Did she follow that with "ya gotta get with my friends, Make it last forever, friendship never ends"' ?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭leggo


    I wrote some poetry alright. But it was all fantastic (and deep. And also mysterious). So sorry, I can't help you OP.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,867 ✭✭✭Tonyandthewhale


    I don't want to talk about it. It was a dark time.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    Nope, I've always been pretty manly.. The strong silent type.. Too thick to write poetry tbh, although I'd love to have the ability.

    I thought I was manly...:(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    I started off writing stories in fifth class, I'd fill a whole forty page copy in one night, then the copy would get passed around in school, and the guys in my class wanted more and more stories, and the girls wanted stories too, I had to keep buying copies so I started selling my stories for 50p a copy- made a fortune at it too, then when I left primary school and went into first year, between the market drying up and having to concentrate on my studies, I had to give up writing.


    I can't remember exact passages or anything because I was writing like ten copies a week, about spies and world war 2 stories and then fairytale stories for the girls, bit mad now I think of it really, I'd long forgotten about that! :D


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,377 ✭✭✭zenno


    I'm as manly as you can get for a man i can do taekwondo upside down no problem and can break a 1 foot slab just by looking at it but i made a few cringers of a poem in my taekwondo days...

    Cringe part 1

    Now you'll see the midnight sun for all your days from hell they'll come,
    tearing back from all dead spaces only left for other places,
    you can sight the change of face just fixed inside an open space,
    one ole kneedle same ole story left for dead in all hells glory.

    Cringe part 2

    Bullets come from all damn angles, must be from the west she argues,
    strikes her in the leg one bullet another one straight for the gullet,
    i've been shot before she says, now i'm on my knees in dread.

    Can't remember cringe part 3, maybe thats a good job because it was not good at all.

    There ye go, my waffle cringe poems of the day. I hope you didn't cringe into a crinkle crisp reading it. If i can remember the other few cringy ones i'll forward them here in bold so you can all cringe as one. :confused:


  • Posts: 26,920 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Got quite bored working in a supermarket one Christmas in my late teens and came up with this little diddy:

    "Making a list, looking about,
    trying to see what minerals seem to be out,
    I am going to the bottom stockroom.
    I know where they are kept, so if there's any left
    I'll put them on my trolley and wheel it like a wally.."

    and so on.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,089 ✭✭✭✭castletownman


    I loved creative writing in school, and still write poetry whenever my mind isn't over-worked with work and other trivial things. Wrote a poem and turned into a song for my girlfriend at the time. When she dumped me I wrote a poem/song with a line I'm actually quite happy with:

    I'll admit that I feel like sh*t when your f*cking with my head
    I wouldn't mind but when you say "it's fine" it means it's something that I said.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,147 ✭✭✭PizzamanIRL


    I wrote a rap about basketball to the flow of Jump Around - House of Pain when I was 12 or 13


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    I was never one to write poems or anything, drawing was my thing. It was only in second year for English that we had to write one for class. I did and one of the english teachers for the LC was looking at it and thought it should've belonged to them.

    I won the Connaught competition for it and a €20 voucher too.

    I'm actually kinda proud of that! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,724 ✭✭✭The Scientician


    In my youth? sure I'm still at it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,377 ✭✭✭zenno


    I had what some people might call a very Euphoric day and wrote it down as i was driving back home from playing with strange plants..

    took a drive down to the country last week and while driving in the deep country i came across a very narrow bend in the road and slowed down to almost a standstill, but as i turned left at this bend i looked out my right side window while driving on and seen a mist but in this mist i could see something that resembled a city from a distance and lights in the sky.

    I stopped the car and got out and walked up a small hillside for a better vantage point and at this stage the mist was dissapating and i could clearly see a city in the distance which looked approximately 2 miles distant and i could still see lights in the sky so i walked a mile and got closer and could see that this was not a city that i would be accustomed to, it was actually floating above the ground and the lights in the sky were flying machines that made no noise, come to think of it i heard no noise at all from what i saw and continued on.

    when i got close to this city structure i could clearly see that it was more advanced than any city i have seen and the lights in the sky were some sort of craft that were sort of plazma based and some were landing and taking off from this magnificent city hovering above the ground and i could see people/humans like me entering these craft. it was a very mild night and the closer i got to this spectacular view a mist formed again and everything shimered and then the night was in complete darkness and my visual experience just vanished in the mist.

    when the mist cleared shortly after there was no city nor was there any lights, it seemed that everything i had seen in crystal clarity just vanished. i will never forget that experience i encountered on that warm night in the deep countryside. i'm left now with too many questions and will probably never know what it was i had seen. the only thing i can think of is that i seen something from the future or a city in the future for one short moment as if it was a vision from the future.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,201 ✭✭✭languagenerd


    Nothing as bad as your Spice Girls fanfic, OP, but I wrote some pretty hideous poetry from when I was a child right up to mid-teens. When I was about 9, I wrote a poem about my uncle who was getting married - which I ended up having to read out at the wedding - and then I had to write one for everyone who got married after that >.< Thankfully there were a few years with no weddings during my teens, so I didn't have to do it anymore - found em all a while back, and my God they are awful :P


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,012 ✭✭✭stop animal cruelty


    l remember l was about 9 or 10 when l wrote this poem:

    The World

    The world is round and always should be, lts good to have friends like you and me.
    Animals are free, and should always be.
    War is not right, so we should not fight.

    The world is round and always should be, lts good to have friends like you and me.



    wtf was l thinking :L :L


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 588 ✭✭✭boomshakalaka


    Oh god, don't make me pop the lid on that tin of worms ... Even thinking about the stuff I wrote makes my skin crawl :p


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,906 ✭✭✭✭PhlegmyMoses


    zenno wrote: »
    the only thing i can think of is that i seen something from the future or a city in the future for one short moment as if it was a vision from the future.

    Or you were high. I'm gonna go with; you were high.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,960 ✭✭✭DarkJager


    Yup I wrote a few short stories in my youth all revolving around a generic badass character who went around shooting bad guys and blowing **** up. Probably influenced by one too many Steven Seagal movies as a child. Anyway, McDonalds once ran a young writers short story competition and I thought it would be a great idea to send one of my stories to them. About 2 weeks later I got a letter thanking me for the entry but informing me that it couldn't be accepted because it was "too violent". It should be mentioned I was about 10 years old at the time :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 14,098 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    Spare a thought for the young today who put their stuff up online where it is invulnerable to cleansing fire.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,785 ✭✭✭9959


    DarkJager wrote: »
    Yup I wrote a few short stories in my youth all revolving around a generic badass character who went around shooting bad guys and blowing **** up. Probably influenced by one too many Steven Seagal movies as a child. Anyway, McDonalds once ran a young writers short story competition and I thought it would be a great idea to send one of my stories to them. About 2 weeks later I got a letter thanking me for the entry but informing me that it couldn't be accepted because it was "too violent". It should be mentioned I was about 10 years old at the time :D

    Hi Quentin.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,438 ✭✭✭TwoShedsJackson


    To paraphrase Ben Elton, I gave up all that sort of lark once I discovered the joys of ****, and have never had any reason to regret my decision since.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,561 ✭✭✭Martyn1989


    Oh god yes, even got to sing one with my metal band at the age of 13, I think the most quote worthy line is

    'Don't try save the little you gave,
    spit in my mouth and **** on my grave'

    I wish I knew what I was singing about or what I even meant but seemingly I managed to write a Metallica lyric.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭StormWarrior


    My friend, when she was 14, insisted that me and her should start a metal band. Neither of us had any musical talent, so I said no, but she went ahead and wrote a song anyway. The song was about her fears. Her two main fears were clowns, and the ghost of a fish that she believed was haunting her bedroom. I can't remember the whole song, but she called it "God save the fish," and the first verse started off:

    One day as I was going down
    Into town
    I saw a clown
    His frown
    Scared me and I fell down

    Then there was some more and it ended:

    Go and catch a fish fish fish fish fish
    Catch a fish
    God save the fish.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    I wrote some awful fan fiction about vampires and whatnot. Sold it for a few quid to a publisher who changed the names and published it. Can't remember the title, Loads of Different Colours or Different Types of Shades or something along those lines.

    Doubt they made any cash off it in the end and thankfully I didn't use my real name.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    I was seeing a girl from Kinsale,
    Oh how I wanted to bang that female,
    I once went round her gaff,
    With the intention to spaff,
    But she was on the blob, epic fail!

    kfallon aged 13 and a half! There's been a few other efforts since, mostly along the same 'themes' :pac:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 58,456 ✭✭✭✭ibarelycare


    I wrote my mam a poem for her 50th and I read it out at her surprise birthday party. I was pretty pissed though and got a bit emotional. I cringe when I think about it now, I was about 17. My mam got the poem typed up nicely and has it framed in our hall :o:o

    I can't remember it all but the first verse was:

    "50 years you have been around
    But we've only known you a few seasons
    Our love for you will never die
    A love that holds many reasons"



    OH GODDDDDDDDDD! I'm cringing so hard I nearly pooped myself :(


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