Lick ass co workers

repsol · 15-01-2013 11:06PM

Where To wrote: »

I'd suck the balls off my boss if I could.

Would you like a job?:D

sfwcork · 15-01-2013 11:07PM

Where To wrote: »

I'd suck the balls off my boss if I could.

Just coz you like it yeah?

PizzamanIRL · 15-01-2013 11:07PM

sfwcork wrote: »

Do you kiss the chefs ass or which hierarchy

The boss man himself - Pat The Baker

15-01-2013 11:07PM

Is it not beur?

worded · 15-01-2013 11:08PM

asskissing =

What makes 100%? What does it mean “to give more than 100%”?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give more than 100%. How about giving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Let’s try a little mathing to answer these questions.

* * *

If we represent the alphabet with numerical values, thus:

A=1 B=-2 C=3 D=4 E=5 F=6 G=7 H=8 I=9 J=10 K=11 L=12 M=13

N=14 O=15 P=16 Q=17 R=18 S=19 T=20 U=21 V=22 W=23 X=24 Y=25 Z=26

Then the words,

HARDWORK = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

KNOWLEDGE = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

And,

ATTITUDE = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

BULL**** = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

But look how far ass-kissing will get you:

ASSKISSING = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

We can therefore conclude with mathematical certainty,

While hard work and knowledge will get you close,

And attitude will get you there,

It’s bull**** and ass-licking that will put you over the top.

* * *

Remember, some people are alive simply because

IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM.

bullets · 16-01-2013 12:11AM

Kichote wrote: »

I thought it was originally an Irish word so it wouldnt have a Y in it

Always thought both the Cork and Limerick spelling of the word was "beor"
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=beor

~B

Grayson · 16-01-2013 12:12AM

Unfortunately, working currently in a big multinational, I can say that pretty much the only way to get ahead is by kissing ass.

deisedevil · 16-01-2013 12:36AM

bullets wrote: »

Always thought both the Cork and Limerick spelling of the word was "beor"
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=beor

~B

That's the one. Originally a traveller word and that's how they spell it. I used to love reminding people from Cork that they were speaking the language of the travellers.

Super-Rush · 16-01-2013 12:40AM

sfwcork wrote: »

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=byor

im invisible wrote: »

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=buore

Deleted User wrote: »

Is it not beur?

bullets wrote: »

Always thought both the Cork and Limerick spelling of the word was "beor"
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=beor

~B

deisedevil wrote: »

That's the one. Originally a traveller word and that's how they spell it. I used to love reminding people from Cork that they were speaking the language of the travellers.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=beoir

deisedevil · 16-01-2013 12:55AM

Sir Alex Ferguson wrote: »

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=beoir

"Beoir" is the Irish for beer.

Grayson · 16-01-2013 01:04AM

deisedevil wrote: »

"Beoir" is the Irish for beer.

A girl who's a beer. What more could an irishman want?

admiralofthefleet · 16-01-2013 01:10AM

is byor an anagram for something?

Hunchback · 16-01-2013 01:27AM

worded wrote: »

asskissing =

What makes 100%? What does it mean “to give more than 100%”?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give more than 100%. How about giving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Let’s try a little mathing to answer these questions.

* * *

If we represent the alphabet with numerical values, thus:

A=1 B=-2 C=3 D=4 E=5 F=6 G=7 H=8 I=9 J=10 K=11 L=12 M=13

N=14 O=15 P=16 Q=17 R=18 S=19 T=20 U=21 V=22 W=23 X=24 Y=25 Z=26

Then the words,

HARDWORK = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

KNOWLEDGE = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

And,

ATTITUDE = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

BULL**** = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

But look how far ass-kissing will get you:

ASSKISSING = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

We can therefore conclude with mathematical certainty,

While hard work and knowledge will get you close,

And attitude will get you there,

It’s bull**** and ass-licking that will put you over the top.

* * *

Remember, some people are alive simply because

IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM.

Trololol!! cool post

It actually reminds me of a pre-service briefing I got from my boss last year, in which we were told that she expected 120% effort from us.

I was like 'sorry no, it's gonna have to be 100%' and she got all pissed off at me :rolleyes:

longhalloween · 16-01-2013 01:30AM

I would have said "Beour"

VEN · 16-01-2013 01:47AM

i never had a problem with it, let them on but... more of a problem is those who try to shift blame unto others when they've ****ed up on a job, denial, lies, lack of self responsibility. best thing to do there is make it known in front of their co-workers what they're up to and take no ****e.

Lapin · 16-01-2013 01:58AM

sfwcork wrote: »

I have a new german byor on my team.Shes only part of the team 3 weeks but im starting to think shes a khoont

She doesnt talk to any of the team and goes out of her way to kiss managements ass and attempt to mix with them

If she was infront of us she wouldnt even hold the door,but if a manager was behind her she would wait holding the door

Funny thing is that kissing managers ass will get her nowhere

Have you worked with people who just love a good ass lick

Try being nice to her and she will be nice to you.

Being German, you could offer to teach her a few words and phrases in English.

And she could correct your mistakes.

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

You and your other work mates are the fools.

She knows what she wants and she's going after leaving you all eating her dust.

This + 100

Nothing worse than being in a workplace where the pack mentality of other (usually lazy gits) try they're best to hold you back.

Its usually out of jealousy as they know they cannot compete.

I hope the German girl in the OP's post gets exactly what she wants out of her job.

In a year or two she won't even remember the people trying to hold her back now, nor will she need to give a fúck.

B.A._Baracus · 16-01-2013 02:21AM

Lapin wrote: »

This + 100
Nothing worse than being in a workplace where the pack mentality of other (usually lazy gits) try they're best to hold you back. Its usually out of jealousy as they know they cannot compete.

I would disagree with that...

The mentality of your average ass-kisser is not that of "oh the others are lazy or just jealous" ... no. its the mentality of doing what ever it takes to get on. Even if it means rimming the asshole off your boss and coming off as a disgrace if front of others. they dont care. all about getting on.

1ZRed · 16-01-2013 02:23AM

There ain't nothin wrong with a bit of rimming OP

IrishExpat · 16-01-2013 02:30AM

It's been six months since I left the cubicle, and I still don't miss office-land politics. Was great fun over-hearing the drama all the same.

hairyprincess · 16-01-2013 02:42AM

Gummy Panda wrote: »

According to Arnie, German women are very hairy so I can't imagine that being nice.

Ahem ahem!!

Dubchef · 16-01-2013 02:42AM

any lick arses can grab a spoon and not lick, but scoop the **** outta my ass

mrc1 · 08-03-2013 10:43PM

Could be a sociopath.

08-03-2013 11:04PM

Does her name begin with a C? I swear I used to work with the same woman. All she did was suck up to the managers, report everyone else's mistakes, snitch on people, repeat stuff she'd heard in the canteen....she was basically the least sound person I've ever met.

I don't agree that OP and his colleagues are trying to hold anyone back. You can be good at your job and impress your boss without being a complete w*nker and stepping on everyone. Funnily enough, these people are usually jobsworths who are pretty crap at the job and only get promoted because they kiss arse.

the groutch · 08-03-2013 11:08PM

It's not what you know, it's who you blow.

travis1976 · 12-03-2013 05:37PM

MaxSteele wrote: »

Oh Angjjela, we shall misshh yoower cooking in berleen.

I lol'd at this and now the boss is looking at me funny. Thanks Max...

RaRaRasputin · 12-03-2013 06:15PM

pmcmahon wrote: »

Being Ireland,kissing arse gets you everywhere.

Sadly, I don't think it's worse than elsewhere

YellowFeather · 12-03-2013 07:31PM

sfwcork wrote: »

byor

im invisible wrote: »

buore

refusetolose wrote: »

bure

Deleted User wrote: »

beur

bullets wrote: »

beor

Super-Rush wrote: »

beoir

longhalloween wrote: »

Beour

Ah lads. You've forgotten the silent "ph" at the beginning.

Wanderer2010 · 12-03-2013 08:16PM

I currently work with a guy who licks serious a**, from day one he has followed around the boss like a lapdog, nodding yes sir to every single demand, laughing at his bad jokes and generally looking down on anyone who doesnt also lick a**, this has made him fairly unpopular in the workplace but the boss is one of those weak men who need people to adore him to boost his little ego. Hate that kind of person, they never really get too far in work as the boss needs them under their thumb at all times..

Lick ass co workers

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