How to handle this awkward social situation?

franktheplank · 03-01-2013 10:48PM #1

I was in my local garage today and went to use the toilets, only to notice a previous user had poo'd all over the back of the toilet seat. It was feckin horrific. On my way out I passed my neighbour on his way in to use the loo.

He's gonna think I did it!

What do I do? Should I have said something? How do I stop word getting around town that I'm the kinda guy that poo's on the toilet seat.

I know I should have told the people in the shop that someone's left a mess in the toilet but they'll be thinking, yeah "someone".

I've had this kind of awkwardness before but only with strangers. You go to a public loo, the place is stinking or fouled in some way. On your way out you pass somebody coming in and you're thinking, they'll think I'm disgusting!

Anyone else had this problem or know what to do in this situation?

cml387 · 03-01-2013 10:51PM

Don't use the toilets in garages. Ever.

Rabies · 03-01-2013 10:55PM

franktheplank wrote: »

I was in my local garage today and went to use the toilets, only to notice a previous user had poo'd all over the back of the toilet seat. It was feckin horrific. On my way out I passed my neighbour on his way in to use the loo.

He's gonna think I did it!

What do I do? Should I have said something? How do I stop word getting around town that I'm the kinda guy that poo's on the toilet seat.

I know I should have told the people in the shop that someone's left a mess in the toilet but they'll be thinking, yeah "someone".

I've had this kind of awkwardness before but only with strangers. You go to a public loo, the place is stinking or fouled in some way. On your way out you pass somebody coming in and you're thinking, they'll think I'm disgusting!

Anyone else had this problem or know what to do in this situation?

before using it you should have gone in to one of the staff, told them the toilet is a mess and you want to use it.

TheBody · 03-01-2013 10:55PM

franktheplank wrote: »

I was in my local garage today and went to use the toilets, only to notice a previous user had poo'd all over the back of the toilet seat. It was feckin horrific. On my way out I passed my neighbour on his way in to use the loo.

He's gonna think I did it!

What do I do? Should I have said something? How do I stop word getting around town that I'm the kinda guy that poo's on the toilet seat.

I know I should have told the people in the shop that someone's left a mess in the toilet but they'll be thinking, yeah "someone".

I've had this kind of awkwardness before but only with strangers. You go to a public loo, the place is stinking or fouled in some way. On your way out you pass somebody coming in and you're thinking, they'll think I'm disgusting!

Anyone else had this problem or know what to do in this situation?

Dead people don't spread rumours. I think we both know what the only solution is in this situation!!

admiralofthefleet · 03-01-2013 10:56PM

i would shout back 'that bangers and mash isnt mine' and keep walking

tommyboy2222 · 03-01-2013 10:57PM

Spread a rumour around your town that your neighbour is a pedophile.

the keen edge · 03-01-2013 10:57PM

You've no choice but to used the nuclear option, you'll have to off him.

Wait outside his house in your car tomorrow morning and drive over that Donnie Brasco touting bastard, it your only choice.
He has probably also told the wife by now, so you'll have to take her out as well if maintaining your street rep is of importance to you.

Try to refrain from sh!tting on their corpses you dirty sick bastard.

hatrickpatrick · 03-01-2013 10:59PM

http://www.bebo.com/c/video?FlashBoxId=3834168406

keith16 · 03-01-2013 11:00PM

The toilet in your local garage?

The only time I would even contemplate using a garage toilet is if I am on a long drive....why would you use your local garage OP?

I suppose there is a big mess in your own toilet and I also suppose you didn't do that either? :rolleyes:

franktheplank · 03-01-2013 11:01PM

keith16 wrote: »

The toilet in your local garage?

The only time I would even contemplate using a garage toilet is if I am on a long drive....why would you use your local garage OP?

I suppose there is a big mess in your own toilet and I also suppose you didn't do that either? :rolleyes:

Well when I say local, I mean out in the sticks local, so my own toilet was twenty minutes away.

antodeco · 03-01-2013 11:02PM

Write down your neighbours telephone number on the back of the cubicle door. If its ever mentioned about the poo just state 'could be worse. Could have my number in toilets"

YbFocus · 03-01-2013 11:08PM

You're really going to some rows to look innocent ain't ya OP?

Sam Kade · 03-01-2013 11:12PM

franktheplank wrote: »

I was in my local garage today and went to use the toilets, only to notice a previous user had poo'd all over the back of the toilet seat. It was feckin horrific. On my way out I passed my neighbour on his way in to use the loo.

He's gonna think I did it!

What do I do? Should I have said something? How do I stop word getting around town that I'm the kinda guy that poo's on the toilet seat.

I know I should have told the people in the shop that someone's left a mess in the toilet but they'll be thinking, yeah "someone".

I've had this kind of awkwardness before but only with strangers. You go to a public loo, the place is stinking or fouled in some way. On your way out you pass somebody coming in and you're thinking, they'll think I'm disgusting!

Anyone else had this problem or know what to do in this situation?

You dirty bast@rd

mattjack · 03-01-2013 11:16PM

A few years ago , coming home my local I caught my blonde neighbour having a whizz in my other neighbours garden............, "Mattjack" , I says to myself , "in the cold light of day this is going to be one difficult situation",

she wasn't in the slightest bit embarrassed as she looked me ,

she just wagged her tail and ran off, her being a golden retriever .

danniemcq · 03-01-2013 11:18PM

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

http://www.bebo.com/c/video?FlashBoxId=3834168406

what the hell is a bebo?

Pilsbury Doughboy · 03-01-2013 11:19PM

the keen edge wrote: »

You've no choice but to used the nuclear option, you'll have to off him.

Wait outside his house in your car tomorrow morning and drive over that Donnie Brasco touting bastard, it your only choice.
He has probably also told the wife by now, so you'll have to take her out as well if maintaining your street rep is of importance to you.

Try to refrain from sh!tting on their corpses you dirty sick bastard.

ArtyM · 03-01-2013 11:19PM

You handled it wrong from the start OP.
You should have called him over, pointed at the mess and proudly asked.....
'Can you believe all that came out of me'?
and quickly followed by you handing him your phone and asking him to take a photo of you smiling and pointing at the bowl
followed by you challenging him to beat your feat.

He would never mention that experience to another living being.

UpMunster · 03-01-2013 11:25PM

franktheplank wrote: »

I was in my local garage today and went to use the toilets, only to notice a previous user had poo'd all over the back of the toilet seat. It was feckin horrific. On my way out I passed my neighbour on his way in to use the loo.

He's gonna think I did it!

What do I do? Should I have said something? How do I stop word getting around town that I'm the kinda guy that poo's on the toilet seat.

I know I should have told the people in the shop that someone's left a mess in the toilet but they'll be thinking, yeah "someone".

I've had this kind of awkwardness before but only with strangers. You go to a public loo, the place is stinking or fouled in some way. On your way out you pass somebody coming in and you're thinking, they'll think I'm disgusting!

Anyone else had this problem or know what to do in this situation?

Hiya. When you see that guy again just tell him that place is a fecking tip. You had to leave and tell them to clean it up as you felt sick in the stomach. He will understand.

hatrickpatrick · 03-01-2013 11:28PM

danniemcq wrote: »

what the hell is a bebo?

YouTube deleted the feckin' video for copyright, 'twas Billy Connolly talking about "A wee beige jobby"

Czarcasm · 03-01-2013 11:31PM

franktheplank wrote: »

I was in my local garage today and went to use the toilets, only to notice a previous user had poo'd all over the back of the toilet seat. It was feckin horrific. On my way out I passed my neighbour on his way in to use the loo.

He's gonna think I did it!

What do I do? Should I have said something? How do I stop word getting around town that I'm the kinda guy that poo's on the toilet seat.

I know I should have told the people in the shop that someone's left a mess in the toilet but they'll be thinking, yeah "someone".

I've had this kind of awkwardness before but only with strangers. You go to a public loo, the place is stinking or fouled in some way. On your way out you pass somebody coming in and you're thinking, they'll think I'm disgusting!

Anyone else had this problem or know what to do in this situation?

I'd just have continued on my way back to my car and drove on, not having given a single fcuk, fairly certain in the knowledge that my neighbour was unlikely to give a single fcuk either tbh.

Micky Dolenz · 03-01-2013 11:33PM

Simple.

"How ya <insert name here> You don't want to use them. some durty fcuker has shat all over the seat. Highly unpleasant"

franktheplank · 03-01-2013 11:49PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Simple.

"How ya <insert name here> You don't want to use them. some durty fcuker has shat all over the seat. Highly unpleasant"

But he's been waiting outside for me to come out. He'll know I used them.

He's still gonna think it's me.

Perhaps I should have created a scapegoat. "How ya. You don't want to use them. I think dirty tom from down the road shat all over the seat. I saw him leaving looking fierce guilty and with poo stains on his pants."

Sam Kade · 04-01-2013 12:03AM

franktheplank wrote: »

But he's been waiting outside for me to come out. He'll know I used them.

He's still gonna think it's me.

Perhaps I should have created a scapegoat. "How ya. You don't want to use them. I think dirty tom from down the road shat all over the seat. I saw him leaving looking fierce guilty and with poo stains on his pants."

Ok Frank but why do you and your neighbour go to the local garage to use the toilet

franktheplank · 04-01-2013 12:11AM

Sam Kade wrote: »

Ok Frank but why do you and your neighbour go to the local garage to use the toilet

Like I said it's out in the country. My house is 20 mins away, his is a bit further again.

I don't think either of us were expecting what lay in store for us.

El Guapo! · 04-01-2013 12:15AM

You should have just winked at him and said "Fcuk me, that curry went straight through me!"
And then just left.

danslevent · 04-01-2013 12:18AM

As hard as this may be, just try forget about it! It's not like anyone is going to say anything to you, and if he ever mentioned it it would just seem petty and weird.

I know it's difficult but, relax guy!:D

cartell_best · 04-01-2013 12:21AM

Just tell him if he doesn't want a bowel evacuation that resembles a pig factory with norovirus losing all muscle control all over his Ford Mondeo, He'll keep quiet...

mckenzie84 · 04-01-2013 12:22AM

Burn his house down. That'll learn him!

admiralofthefleet · 04-01-2013 12:30AM

by the way of anyone is travelling southbound on the N11 and is bursting for a piss, the code for the jax in the garage in kilmacanogue is 1478

ArtyM · 04-01-2013 12:51AM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

by the way of anyone is travelling southbound on the N11 and is bursting for a piss, the code for the jax in the garage in kilmacanogue is 1478

This just went straight into my top 5 weirdest post I have ever seen on Boards.

Czarcasm · 04-01-2013 12:53AM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

by the way of anyone is travelling southbound on the N11 and is bursting for a piss, the code for the jax in the garage in kilmacanogue is 1478

How to handle this awkward social situation?

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