Petty things that satisfy you

When a screaming rambunctious child in a cafe falls and hurts itself bringing about panic from the hitherto blithely unconcerned mother.

Fromthetrees wrote: »

Telling my daughter that we're going to see Santa but then actually just going to the pub so I can get drunk and watch the football, that'll learn her to get all happy and excited.

Before people jump down my throat for doing this, just sit back and think about this valuable life lesson I'm teaching her.

Gotta love Fromthetrees sig


Unmarried and Separated Fathers Group :D

Only people who play poker will understand this.

Yesterday i was playing heads up and went all in with AJ, your man slow rolled me and called with aces in the last second. The flop was 2,3,4. Dunno what the next card was but the beautiful river was a 5 so we split the pot. Slowrolling prick. I went on to beat him.

When someone makes a big deal about weaving quickly around/past people on a busy/narrow path, and then you catch up with them anyway when they're at stuck at a crossing.

Clean toilet paper on the first wipe. Very satisfying knowing you have saved some valuable seconds that would otherwise be spent doing something fairly unpleasant.

SafeSurfer wrote: »

Clean toilet paper on the first wipe. Very satisfying knowing you have saved some valuable seconds that would otherwise be spent doing something fairly unpleasant.

As much as i understand this is a light hearted, 'bit of fun', I completely object to comments as crude and vulgar as these. To say i am appalled and sickened by the grossly explicit image conveyed by this 'first wipe' is an understatement. Please, for people of my moral and upright standard, refrain from needless, obscure and down right sick comments such as these.

please note I have also sent a request to ban you to the moderator

1. Pressing all the buttons in a lift and then seeing some plonker boss getting in as I leave

2. Transferring all the phones in an office to the plonker boss (see above) and then he having to answer endless call

I was in Superquinn during the week, availing of their cheap booze. The guy on the checkout clipped one of the cans on something and it started spraying on the, rather well-to-do, lady behind me. Luckily enough she didn't see me pissing myself laughing at this, she was too busy giving out to the cashier.

Answering the 'you probably won't know, but....' question that I get at work almost daiy with a barrage of scientific facts and information, while my sweet smile perfectly conveys a message of 'fcuk you very much'.

Love it.

dazzler454 wrote: »

you have now been reported.

This made me laugh, thanks.

The "Gangnam style" song is now played in nightclubs, I was out last week and cringed at the sight of about 5 grown men attempting the dance all in a line, blocking everyone trying to get by. The fecking state of them..

One of them tried to "gangnam style" on one foot only for his ankle to buckle as he jumped up and down and he dropped like a sack of shíte screaming to the floor.

I grinned

Going on a night out with friends and watching my apparently macho ladies-man of a friend striking out everytime he tries a girl.

dazzler454 wrote: »

Such a crude, thoughtless comment displays to me the genre of person that i'm dealing with.

In other words, you're probably fat, smell like sh1t, possibly bi sexual, have turned to male prostitution in the past and suffer from chronic gayness.

bahahahahahahahaha

dazzler454 wrote: »

possibly bi sexual,.

Insult of the century right there
'Possibly'