Embarrassing dad stories

saintsaltynuts wrote: »

Mine told me last week he was shagging my Auntie.Dirty Dog.

the purple tin wrote: »

On your ma's side I hope?

Think he prefers to just bend her over the couch, not bend her over your mother.

Wurly wrote: »

When I was a kid, we had a sh1t brown ford escort. My dad used to drop me to school in it and insist on driving right into the centre of the boys yard (i'm a girl). It used to mortify me. They'd all shout "here comes the sh1t-mobile". :pac:

well at least it wasnt a lada or old skoda,now those were the derren browns of cars-they had a knack for making kids in them magicaly disappear in public,not only that they were pretty good at making half the parts on the car disappear to [eg, doors] if were to believe the old childrens taunts.:pac:

Why is your Auntie called Dirty Dog?

perhaps they are a rapper ? theyre all called dog something or other.

Was walking through town one evening near Christmas with my family when I was around 10. My dad had a few jars in him and he'd just treated himself to a harmonica, he proceeded to whip off the hat he was wearing, threw it on the ground and started busking for the craic.....the rest of us kept walking.

fcuk think my father has seen me at my worst this year alone!!

Well at a family gathering abroad we went for dinner & drinks so I had way to much to drink all was well until I got into the back of a cab & vomited into my bag

At a family wedding two days later I ehhhh hooked up with a fella of course it was the topic of conversation for all that I didn't stay in my hotel room that night

Not my dad but my friends dad(would have loved it to have been mine though)

He had a dog that he absolutely adored,Dog got sick and he brought him to the vet.
I met him when he was coming home and I asked him "how's the dog"
He says" oh the news isn't great,vet told me that he would have to remove his intesticals"

To this day I don't know what the vet removed.

Diabhal Beag wrote: »

Dad always had a talent for one-liners. Never intentionally funny obviously. A cousin of ours came back from Germany with his German girlfriend and the family were asking them about life in that there foreign land. The question then came to how they got around the place. He told us he used the train regularly. Without a second's hesitation Dad asked: "Is that not how they got all the Jews?". It was a genuine question but my head was buried deep in my hands at that stage.

Jim Jefferies fan are ya? :pac:
(from 0:40 on)

In a past retail job, they insisted a sick cert couldn't be posted. My dad went in with it with my directions. Long story short, he ended up in one of the shop windows facing onto a busy street and then ran out of an alarmed fire exit in his escape. Cert was successfully delivered to a manager on his second go.

My father was the best example of a parent I could ever find, he financially supported me true every stage of my education and life. I couldn't think of an embarrassing story to tell. I still love to hang out with my dad and listen to the likes Zeppelin, Stones and The Who with slabs of G and youtube

I love my mother also but not her early carry on, I don't respect a person who beats a child to unconscious and then buys them a toy to make sure they don't tell Daddy that they went to be hospital.

Deleted User wrote: »

Taxi to Jeremy Kyle please!!

Jesus Christ I'm not that bad man, we're middle class and I did finally tell my father of the abuse, he dealt with it in a swift manner.

When I was about 11/12 we went on holiday to the Isle of Man for a week. I was allowed bring a friend with me.

My friend was dropped to our house and we all piled into the car and headed off to the ferry.

About 5 mins in my friend whispered to me "why is your dads hair purple?"

Looked at my dad and his grey/white hair indeed had a "tinge" of purple off it.

Turned out that my mother had put a temporary red hair colour in for the holiday (glints or harmony brand - how 80's ). She had left the finished tube in the bathroom and my dad spotted it and squeezed the remainder out and put it in his (dry) hair he fancied "a bit of colour" he said.

Anyhoo while the colour turned out red in my mams brown hair, the underlying dye was a definite dark purple. Dye also "takes" much more in grey hair. So by the time we arrived and for the whole holiday, rather than just a tinge, my dad had definite purplish grey hair.

Dad was strutting around the place loving his "trendy" hair. My friend and I were totally mortified and spent the week avoiding being seen with him

But it is a great family memory/slag now