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Child Item

Embarrassing dad stories

dttq

Anyone with embarrassing stories while growing up to do with their dad. One of my own most embarrassing was at a gathering involving friends and relatives. All the younger people, friends included stuck to their own section of the dance floor. However about half way through my dad, p!ssed drunk barges into our group, singing and dancing. I swore to god id never bring my friends and dad together at an event again after that.

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Ted_YNWA

Chain_reaction wrote: »

Being dropped to school on the tractor as my Mam had the car and we'd missed the bus.

Ditto , but add to that story, un-beknowns to my father there was a couple of hens on the back of it. Course they escaped outside the school gates.

Cue Benny Hill style sketch ..

holystungun9

saintsaltynuts wrote: »

Mine told me last week he was shagging my Auntie.Dirty Dog.

the purple tin wrote: »

On your ma's side I hope?

Think he prefers to just bend her over the couch, not bend her over your mother.

TheFisherKing

saintsaltynuts wrote: »

Mine told me last week he was shagging my Auntie.Dirty Dog.

Why is your Auntie called Dirty Dog?

Scruffles

Wurly wrote: »

When I was a kid, we had a sh1t brown ford escort. My dad used to drop me to school in it and insist on driving right into the centre of the boys yard (i'm a girl). It used to mortify me. They'd all shout "here comes the sh1t-mobile". :pac:

well at least it wasnt a lada or old skoda,now those were the derren browns of cars-they had a knack for making kids in them magicaly disappear in public,not only that they were pretty good at making half the parts on the car disappear to [eg, doors] if were to believe the old childrens taunts.:pac:

Why is your Auntie called Dirty Dog?

perhaps they are a rapper ? theyre all called dog something or other.

pappyodaniel

I remember back when I was 16 I bought a ticket to see Radiohead play in Galway before I asked for permission. When I got home I asked my mum if I could go and she told me to ask my dad when he got home from work.

As soon as he got home I asked him, he flat out said NO. He then asked me who the band was, I told him and he guffawed at the name RADIOHEAD. After much pleading he remained firm and said I was much too young so no chance.

I told my friends the next day and one of them suggested we should all call up to the house and ask him. If he said no again John would say his parents were letting him go and Emmet would say his parent's were letting him go. My dad had just come back from having a few pints and wasn't in the mood for us snot nose kids. He was standing there in his vest looking at my friends and told them

"if you know what's good for ye, ye'll **** off home or I'll bate d'lot of ye.... ****in' RADIOMAN, that's one stupid ****ing name for a band!!!"

Lollers

After my parents split up, my dad who was a bit too old for the dating scene, would try terrible chat-up lines in the most random places. More than once he used to fill in his lotto numbers while standing next to a lady, and with a wink he would ask.

"hi there, you don't know tonights Lotto numbers by any chance ?"

Poor dad, it never worked.

[Deleted User]

One Christmas my dad fell asleep in the armchair after dinner and a brandy and started to snore really heavily. He was sleeping so heavily he didn't stir when we decorated him like a christmas tree, tinsel, LED lights around his neck, big red dots of blusher on his cheeks and bright red lipstick to finish the look. He helped us out a bit by falling asleep with a big santa hat on his head.

After posing with him and setting up vulgar tableaux with the dog and some teddy bears, we forgot about him and left him to his nap. Then the doorbell rang, woke him up, and he lurched out of the armchair and didn't clock he'd been made over. He opened the door to our neighbours and they were brilliant, they didn't give anything away.:D

Two hours later, he passed a mirror and nearly gave himself a hernia laughing, the rest of the place erupted with all the laughs we'd kept in.:)

spankysue

Was walking through town one evening near Christmas with my family when I was around 10. My dad had a few jars in him and he'd just treated himself to a harmonica, he proceeded to whip off the hat he was wearing, threw it on the ground and started busking for the craic.....the rest of us kept walking.

NegativeCreep

My dad insists on talking about me to his sisters and brothers over the phone like as if I'm not even there! Doesn't sound embarrassing but it annoys me

BTW, splashing kids with cars is feckin' hilarious!

I laugh when it happens me too :P

rubberdiddies

When I was in primary school and on a school tour my Da was one of two parents that came along to supervise.

I was so embarrassed that I didn't talk to him for the whole day and purposely avoided him in case my classmates thought I was a daddy's boy. Stupid I know.

How I wish he was still alive to embarrass me all he wants!

MaxSteele

The GAA disco when I was 14/15.

Walking out and there's the father. In his fucking navy socks and sandals waiting for me with a grin on his face. :rolleyes:

cuana

fcuk think my father has seen me at my worst this year alone!!

Well at a family gathering abroad we went for dinner & drinks so I had way to much to drink all was well until I got into the back of a cab & vomited into my bag

At a family wedding two days later I ehhhh hooked up with a fella of course it was the topic of conversation for all that I didn't stay in my hotel room that night

mfceiling

The oul lad in a restaurant asking for a steak with a "side saddle" (salad).

Other than that he's fairly quiet and doesn't really act the maggot.

Diabhal Beag

Dad always had a talent for one-liners. Never intentionally funny obviously. A cousin of ours came back from Germany with his German girlfriend and the family were asking them about life in that there foreign land. The question then came to how they got around the place. He told us he used the train regularly. Without a second's hesitation Dad asked: "Is that not how they got all the Jews?". It was a genuine question but my head was buried deep in my hands at that stage.

kowloon

mfceiling wrote: »

The oul lad in a restaurant asking for a steak with a "side saddle" (salad).

Other than that he's fairly quiet and doesn't really act the maggot.

Are you sure he wasn't just being really clever and telling them he wanted his steak so rare he could ride the rest home?

Vizzy

Not my dad but my friends dad(would have loved it to have been mine though)

He had a dog that he absolutely adored,Dog got sick and he brought him to the vet.
I met him when he was coming home and I asked him "how's the dog"
He says" oh the news isn't great,vet told me that he would have to remove his intesticals"

To this day I don't know what the vet removed.

Shryke

Diabhal Beag wrote: »

Dad always had a talent for one-liners. Never intentionally funny obviously. A cousin of ours came back from Germany with his German girlfriend and the family were asking them about life in that there foreign land. The question then came to how they got around the place. He told us he used the train regularly. Without a second's hesitation Dad asked: "Is that not how they got all the Jews?". It was a genuine question but my head was buried deep in my hands at that stage.

Funny I saw that joke on Boards recently. Maybe you're not BSing though.

Planemo

Diabhal Beag wrote: »

Dad always had a talent for one-liners. Never intentionally funny obviously. A cousin of ours came back from Germany with his German girlfriend and the family were asking them about life in that there foreign land. The question then came to how they got around the place. He told us he used the train regularly. Without a second's hesitation Dad asked: "Is that not how they got all the Jews?". It was a genuine question but my head was buried deep in my hands at that stage.

Jim Jefferies fan are ya? :pac:
(from 0:40 on)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9j4RydPrJc

Diabhal Beag

Shryke wrote: »

Funny I saw that joke on Boards recently. Maybe you're not BSing though.

Honestly not a joke. Happened when I was 11. I know Jim Jefferies has a Munich joke when he went to the World Cup with his Dad so I'd fully understand if you thought I was bull****ting.

Corruptedmorals

In a past retail job, they insisted a sick cert couldn't be posted. My dad went in with it with my directions. Long story short, he ended up in one of the shop windows facing onto a busy street and then ran out of an alarmed fire exit in his escape. Cert was successfully delivered to a manager on his second go.

Sky King

The ould lad, when dropping me anywhere.

*Pulls up at destination*

"Right, fuck off."

*Drives off*

He means well though, I think.

Ihatecuddles-old

My dad is terrible with words...

When hes using the computer he says Mozzarella Firefox.
On holidays in Florida one year, sign up ahead for Tarpon Springs, he reads it out loud as Tampon Springs
Asked my brother how he got on in his intercourse

When he gives out about young people being drunk/noisy outside he says them yahoos are at it again!

He doesnt really embarrass me, my mum on the other hand...she's mortifying. Seems every time she bends down she farts. I always tell her that if she wants something from the bottom shelf in Tesco, to wait until theres nobody in the aisle with her!

jugger

cuana wrote: »

fcuk think my father has seen me at my worst this year alone!!

Well at a family gathering abroad we went for dinner & drinks so I had way to much to drink all was well until I got into the back of a cab & vomited into my bag

At a family wedding two days later I ehhhh hooked up with a fella of course it was the topic of conversation for all that I didn't stay in my hotel room that night

classy

DEFTLEFTHAND

My father was the best example of a parent I could ever find, he financially supported me true every stage of my education and life. I couldn't think of an embarrassing story to tell. I still love to hang out with my dad and listen to the likes Zeppelin, Stones and The Who with slabs of G and youtube

I love my mother also but not her early carry on, I don't respect a person who beats a child to unconscious and then buys them a toy to make sure they don't tell Daddy that they went to be hospital.

[Deleted User]

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

My father was the best example of a parent I could ever find, he financially supported me true every stage of my education and life. I couldn't think of an embarrassing story to tell. I still love to hang out with my dad and listen to the likes Zeppelin, Stones and The Who with slabs of G and youtube

I love my mother also but not her early carry on, I don't respect a person who beats a child to unconscious and then buys them a toy to make sure they don't tell Daddy that they went to be hospital.

Taxi to Jeremy Kyle please!!

DEFTLEFTHAND

Deleted User wrote: »

Taxi to Jeremy Kyle please!!

Jesus Christ I'm not that bad man, we're middle class and I did finally tell my father of the abuse, he dealt with it in a swift manner.

FairytaleGirl

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

My father was the best example of a parent I could ever find, he financially supported me true every stage of my education and life. I couldn't think of an embarrassing story to tell. I still love to hang out with my dad and listen to the likes Zeppelin, Stones and The Who with slabs of G and youtube

I love my mother also but not her early carry on, I don't respect a person who beats a child to unconscious and then buys them a toy to make sure they don't tell Daddy that they went to be hospital.

Well, that escalated quickly..

My dad farts really loudly im public and them looks at who ever he is with with a look of surprise,so if anyone hears the fart (you would be deaf not to) looks round they assume its the person dads lookin at who let off. Morto.

I remember when dad first got a mobile too, used to start every text with 'Hi Dee, dis is dad' dunno what was worse, text speak or the fact he couldn't comprehend the storing of contacts.

amdublin

When I was about 11/12 we went on holiday to the Isle of Man for a week. I was allowed bring a friend with me.

My friend was dropped to our house and we all piled into the car and headed off to the ferry.

About 5 mins in my friend whispered to me "why is your dads hair purple?"

Looked at my dad and his grey/white hair indeed had a "tinge" of purple off it.

Turned out that my mother had put a temporary red hair colour in for the holiday (glints or harmony brand - how 80's

). She had left the finished tube in the bathroom and my dad spotted it and squeezed the remainder out and put it in his (dry) hair he fancied "a bit of colour" he said.

Anyhoo while the colour turned out red in my mams brown hair, the underlying dye was a definite dark purple. Dye also "takes" much more in grey hair. So by the time we arrived and for the whole holiday, rather than just a tinge, my dad had definite purplish grey hair.

Dad was strutting around the place loving his "trendy" hair. My friend and I were totally mortified and spent the week avoiding being seen with him

But it is a great family memory/slag now

sheikhnguyen

castletownman wrote: »

My sixty year old father is currently trying to pull off the leather jacket look some thirty years too late. Insists on wearing it everywhere in public. Fecking mid-life crises!

He's having his mid-life at 60? Do us all a favour and ask him what his secret is.

kraggy

pappyodaniel wrote: »

I remember back when I was 16 I bought a ticket to see Radiohead play in Galway before I asked for permission. When I got home I asked my mum if I could go and she told me to ask my dad when he got home from work.

As soon as he got home I asked him, he flat out said NO. He then asked me who the band was, I told him and he guffawed at the name RADIOHEAD. After much pleading he remained firm and said I was much too young so no chance.

I told my friends the next day and one of them suggested we should all call up to the house and ask him. If he said no again John would say his parents were letting him go and Emmet would say his parent's were letting him go. My dad had just come back from having a few pints and wasn't in the mood for us snot nose kids. He was standing there in his vest looking at my friends and told them

Sorry to tell you, but it was a great day. Pissed rain but a special memory in my own life. Had just finished the Leaving and saw what are still one of my favourite bands just as they were getting really big with The Bends.

Neneh Cherry (remember her?) and the Bluetones also played and can't remember who else.

Great day.