Public Display of Friendship?

Oranage2 · 19-11-2012 08:44AM #1

In another country and I've noticed it's very common for young boys and men aswell as females to hold hands or have their arms around members of the same sex. At first I thought it was a tad strange until someone explained that actually it's not homosexual at all and just a display of friendship.

So this got me thinking that wouldnt it be nice to able to do this back home, whether it was going down the street holding hands with your BFF or even just walking on the beach with arms around each other in a none homo erotic just simply a platonic way.

SO people of AH, do you hold hands with a friend of the same sex and/or would you like too?

doomed · 19-11-2012 08:50AM

Oranage2 wrote: »

In another country and I've noticed it's very common for young boys and men aswell as females to hold hands or have their arms around members of the same sex. At first I thought it was a tad strange until someone explained that actually it's not homosexual at all and just a display of friendship.

So this got me thinking that wouldnt it be nice to able to do this back home, whether it was going down the street holding hands with your BFF or even just walking on the beach with arms around each other in a none homo erotic just simply a platonic way.

SO people of AH, do you hold hands with a friend of the same sex and/or would you like too?

This is Ireland. We don't even hold hands with our partners. Good luck in your mission.

Jimoslimos · 19-11-2012 08:51AM

Oranage2 wrote: »

In another country and I've noticed it's very common for young boys and men...

That's something else altogether.

Seriously though, what country have you been in where straight guys hold hands?

Peregrinus · 19-11-2012 08:52AM

When I was young (in the 60s/70s) it was common for boys up to the age of about ten or eleven to hold hands or walk arm-in-arm. As they approached puberty and became more sexually aware they tended to stop.

This no longer happens. I'm all in favour of more honesty and less prudery around sex, but one of the downsides of greater openness is that kids are exposed to homophobia at a younger age than they used to be, and I suspect this is why boys especially are less willing to express friendship physically than used to be the case.

Yes, it would be good if we could become more relaxed about physical expressions of this kind. No, I wouldn't engage in them myself. I'm far too repressed!

Ellis Dee · 19-11-2012 08:53AM

Oranage2 wrote: »

In another country and I've noticed it's very common for young boys and men aswell as females to hold hands or have their arms around members of the same sex. At first I thought it was a tad strange until someone explained that actually it's not homosexual at all and just a display of friendship.

So this got me thinking that wouldnt it be nice to able to do this back home, whether it was going down the street holding hands with your BFF or even just walking on the beach with arms around each other in a none homo erotic just simply a platonic way.

SO people of AH, do you hold hands with a friend of the same sex and/or would you like too?

Yes, it's quite common to see men or boys walking hand-in-hand in India as well as in many Middle Eastern countries. Women do the same. It's a local custom and those of us who have travelled just accept these things as they are and think little if anything of it.:)

However, I wouldn't recommend it in Ireland, where far too many people are insular, blinkered, annoyingly "pass-remarkable" and set in their petty-mindedness and bigoted ways. :rolleyes:

That, of course, could change if enough people adopted the custom, and then the rest of the sheeple would just follow their example, I suppose.:D

Peregrinus · 19-11-2012 09:05AM

Jimoslimos wrote: »

That's something else altogether.

Seriously though, what country have you been in where straight guys hold hands?

Dunno about holding hands, but walking arm-in-arm was certainly common for adult men in the past. E.g.:

http://u1.ipernity.com/9/06/70/3390670.c4864076.560.jpg

http://historygallery.com/worldwar1/TogetherWeWinMED.JPG

And there's plenty of countries that we think of as repressed where it's still common. This picture is from Egypt:

http://u1.ipernity.com/9/06/70/3390670.c4864076.560.jpg

And this poster was presumably not intended to have homosexual overtones when issued:

http://historygallery.com/worldwar1/TogetherWeWinMED.JPG

And remember there's still plenty of places, not too far from home, where men kiss each other as a greeting.

Jimoslimos · 19-11-2012 09:08AM

Peregrinus wrote: »

Dunno about holding hands, but walking arm-in-arm was certainly common for adult men in the past. E.g.:...

Arm-in-arm whilst uncommon, would definitely be viewed differently to holding hands.

antodeco · 19-11-2012 09:09AM

So that's what PDF stands for!

Captain Commie · 19-11-2012 09:17AM

Maybe

I currently live in the Middle East and you see it mostly with the Indian and Pakistani men. Coming from Ireland it was a very real culture shock, but knowing that that is how they express friendship changes things alot.

I have heard several people pass remark on it and always laugh at how stupid they are. However, in saying that, there is ALOT of closet homosexuality here due to the oppressive way that children are segregated from about 5 years of age. Have heard many stories from friends out here that have walked in on guys/girls in bathrooms etc etc

im invisible · 19-11-2012 09:22AM

We must move forward, not backward...

Wacker The Attacker · 19-11-2012 11:31AM

Maybe

Does punching someone in the face for touching you count?

19-11-2012 11:37AM

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Does punching someone in the face for touching you count?

I don't find someone punching someone in the face very touching, do you?

JohnMarston · 19-11-2012 11:39AM

Maybe

doomed wrote: »

This is Ireland. We don't even hold hands with our partners. Good luck in your mission.

Yeah we do, i see it all the time

fishy fishy · 19-11-2012 11:41AM

Jimoslimos wrote: »

That's something else altogether.

Seriously though, what country have you been in where straight guys hold hands?

you haven't done much traveling have you

pablomakaveli · 19-11-2012 11:43AM

Ellis Dee wrote: »

However, I wouldn't recommend it in Ireland, where far too many people are insular, blinkered, annoyingly "pass-remarkable" and set in their petty-mindedness and bigoted ways. :rolleyes:

That, of course, could change if enough people adopted the custom, and then the rest of the sheeple would just follow their example, I suppose.:D

Thats a pretty unfair statement to make. Culturally we're not a touchy feely people. Its nothing to do with homophobia or bigotry its just not a part of our culture.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 19-11-2012 11:47AM

I once held hands with my wife in public but I'm ok now and no longer do it.

iDave · 19-11-2012 11:54AM

Maybe

I could just imagine now the reaction if I tried to hold my mates hand in public.

Wacker The Attacker · 19-11-2012 12:13PM

Maybe

9959 wrote: »

I don't find someone punching someone in the face very touching, do you?

No. Thats the whole point of doing it.

Wacker The Attacker · 19-11-2012 12:16PM

Maybe

Ellis Dee wrote: »

Yes, it's quite common to see men or boys walking hand-in-hand in India as well as in many Middle Eastern countries. Women do the same. It's a local custom and those of us who have travelled just accept these things as they are and think little if anything of it.:)

However, I wouldn't recommend it in Ireland, where far too many people are insular, blinkered, annoyingly "pass-remarkable" and set in their petty-mindedness and bigoted ways. :rolleyes:

That, of course, could change if enough people adopted the custom, and then the rest of the sheeple would just follow their example, I suppose.:D

Isn't this a petty minded extrapolation. You appear to have jumped to this conclusion on the basis that adults dont generally hold hands in public.

Rasheed · 19-11-2012 12:28PM

Maybe

Culturally middle eastern countries do it and culturally we don't.

Don't see our lack of doing it as some sign of homophobia or being bigoted.

carrig2 · 19-11-2012 12:35PM

Maybe

CJC999 wrote: »

I once held hands with my wife in public but I'm ok now and no longer do it.

But at least you are strong enough to talk about it.

Psychotherapy?

Priori · 19-11-2012 12:42PM

Maybe

When I was in Nepal it was a common enough site to see two guys (usually fairly young - early 20's, late teens) holding hands. I found the Nepalese a very gentle, good-natured folk in general, "innoccent" I suppose you could say (not in the naive sense), so maybe that had something to do with it.

Ellis Dee · 19-11-2012 12:57PM

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Isn't this a petty minded extrapolation. You appear to have jumped to this conclusion on the basis that adults dont generally hold hands in public.

No, you have drawn the wrong conclusion, probably because you did not read my post carefully enough. I am aware that people don't generally hold hands in public in Ireland, but can't figure out why it should bother anyone else if some of them do, or what business it is of theirs.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Ellis Dee · 19-11-2012 12:58PM

Priori wrote: »

When I was in Nepal it was a common enough site to see two guys (usually fairly young - early 20's, late teens) holding hands. I found the Nepalese a very gentle, good-natured folk in general, "innoccent" I suppose you could say (not in the naive sense), so maybe that had something to do with it.

I have been in Nepal many times and agree 100%.:):)

jaja321 · 19-11-2012 12:59PM

It's very common in Ethiopia also, to see male friends holding hands.

horsemaster · 19-11-2012 01:06PM

I really couldn't help but started laughing at some your comments. Hilarious! One says this is Ireland, married couples don't even hold hands. Another feller writes "I once held hands with my wife in public but I'm ok now and no longer do it." You all made my day on this cold, windy dark evening. Hope you all have a great day too.

Hippies! · 19-11-2012 01:17PM

Maybe

My bff is female so we do the touchy feely stuff. I've never had any desire to be within 3ft of another man though.

Local-womanizer · 19-11-2012 01:19PM

Maybe

Why would I want to hold hands with a mate? Seriously, what would be the point?

Seans_Username · 19-11-2012 01:37PM

Maybe

Ellis Dee wrote: »

Yes, it's quite common to see men or boys walking hand-in-hand in India as well as in many Middle Eastern countries. Women do the same. It's a local custom and those of us who have travelled just accept these things as they are and think little if anything of it.:)

However, I wouldn't recommend it in Ireland, where far too many people are insular, blinkered, annoyingly "pass-remarkable" and set in their petty-mindedness and bigoted ways. :rolleyes:

That, of course, could change if enough people adopted the custom, and then the rest of the sheeple would just follow their example, I suppose.:D

You said yourself, it's a local custom. There's no need to go insulting the majority of Irish people.

If you're going to go on like that sure I may as well call the people in the middle east 'backwards' cos they don't tour about in Honda Civics at night, drifting around the roundabout.

It's their custom. We have ours. Just cos we don't all of a sudden take up their culture doesn't mean we're 'petty-minded'.

Peregrinus · 19-11-2012 01:41PM

I think the point that people are overlooking is that we used to do this in Ireland too, quite recently. There's any number of photographs of, say, well-known literary figures strolling through the streets of Dublin arm-in-arm with friends. The point is, why did we stop? When did this behaviour start to become unacceptable, and why?

19-11-2012 01:47PM

"On State Street, that great street, I just want to say
They do things they don't do on Broadway
They have the time, the time of their life
I saw a man he danced with his wife
In Chicago, Chicago my home town"

Public Display of Friendship?

Hold hands? 68 votes

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