Public Display of Friendship?

Oranage2

In another country and I've noticed it's very common for young boys and men aswell as females to hold hands or have their arms around members of the same sex. At first I thought it was a tad strange until someone explained that actually it's not homosexual at all and just a display of friendship.

So this got me thinking that wouldnt it be nice to able to do this back home, whether it was going down the street holding hands with your BFF or even just walking on the beach with arms around each other in a none homo erotic just simply a platonic way.

SO people of AH, do you hold hands with a friend of the same sex and/or would you like too?

doomed

Oranage2 wrote: »

In another country and I've noticed it's very common for young boys and men aswell as females to hold hands or have their arms around members of the same sex. At first I thought it was a tad strange until someone explained that actually it's not homosexual at all and just a display of friendship.

So this got me thinking that wouldnt it be nice to able to do this back home, whether it was going down the street holding hands with your BFF or even just walking on the beach with arms around each other in a none homo erotic just simply a platonic way.

SO people of AH, do you hold hands with a friend of the same sex and/or would you like too?

This is Ireland. We don't even hold hands with our partners. Good luck in your mission.

Jimoslimos

Oranage2 wrote: »

In another country and I've noticed it's very common for young boys and men...

That's something else altogether.

Seriously though, what country have you been in where straight guys hold hands?

Peregrinus

When I was young (in the 60s/70s) it was common for boys up to the age of about ten or eleven to hold hands or walk arm-in-arm. As they approached puberty and became more sexually aware they tended to stop.

This no longer happens. I'm all in favour of more honesty and less prudery around sex, but one of the downsides of greater openness is that kids are exposed to homophobia at a younger age than they used to be, and I suspect this is why boys especially are less willing to express friendship physically than used to be the case.

Yes, it would be good if we could become more relaxed about physical expressions of this kind. No, I wouldn't engage in them myself. I'm far too repressed!

Ellis Dee

Oranage2 wrote: »

In another country and I've noticed it's very common for young boys and men aswell as females to hold hands or have their arms around members of the same sex. At first I thought it was a tad strange until someone explained that actually it's not homosexual at all and just a display of friendship.

So this got me thinking that wouldnt it be nice to able to do this back home, whether it was going down the street holding hands with your BFF or even just walking on the beach with arms around each other in a none homo erotic just simply a platonic way.

SO people of AH, do you hold hands with a friend of the same sex and/or would you like too?

Yes, it's quite common to see men or boys walking hand-in-hand in India as well as in many Middle Eastern countries. Women do the same. It's a local custom and those of us who have travelled just accept these things as they are and think little if anything of it.:)

However, I wouldn't recommend it in Ireland, where far too many people are insular, blinkered, annoyingly "pass-remarkable" and set in their petty-mindedness and bigoted ways. :rolleyes:

That, of course, could change if enough people adopted the custom, and then the rest of the sheeple would just follow their example, I suppose.:D

Peregrinus

Jimoslimos wrote: »

That's something else altogether.

Seriously though, what country have you been in where straight guys hold hands?

Dunno about holding hands, but walking arm-in-arm was certainly common for adult men in the past. E.g.:

http://u1.ipernity.com/9/06/70/3390670.c4864076.560.jpg

http://historygallery.com/worldwar1/TogetherWeWinMED.JPG

And there's plenty of countries that we think of as repressed where it's still common. This picture is from Egypt:

http://u1.ipernity.com/9/06/70/3390670.c4864076.560.jpg

And this poster was presumably not intended to have homosexual overtones when issued:

http://historygallery.com/worldwar1/TogetherWeWinMED.JPG

And remember there's still plenty of places, not too far from home, where men kiss each other as a greeting.

Jimoslimos

Peregrinus wrote: »

Dunno about holding hands, but walking arm-in-arm was certainly common for adult men in the past. E.g.:...

Arm-in-arm whilst uncommon, would definitely be viewed differently to holding hands.

antodeco

So that's what PDF stands for!

Captain Commie

Maybe

I currently live in the Middle East and you see it mostly with the Indian and Pakistani men. Coming from Ireland it was a very real culture shock, but knowing that that is how they express friendship changes things alot.

I have heard several people pass remark on it and always laugh at how stupid they are. However, in saying that, there is ALOT of closet homosexuality here due to the oppressive way that children are segregated from about 5 years of age. Have heard many stories from friends out here that have walked in on guys/girls in bathrooms etc etc

im invisible

We must move forward, not backward...

Wacker The Attacker

Maybe

Does punching someone in the face for touching you count?

9959

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Does punching someone in the face for touching you count?

I don't find someone punching someone in the face very touching, do you?

JohnMarston

Maybe

doomed wrote: »

This is Ireland. We don't even hold hands with our partners. Good luck in your mission.

Yeah we do, i see it all the time

fishy fishy

Jimoslimos wrote: »

That's something else altogether.

Seriously though, what country have you been in where straight guys hold hands?

you haven't done much traveling have you

pablomakaveli

Ellis Dee wrote: »

However, I wouldn't recommend it in Ireland, where far too many people are insular, blinkered, annoyingly "pass-remarkable" and set in their petty-mindedness and bigoted ways. :rolleyes:

That, of course, could change if enough people adopted the custom, and then the rest of the sheeple would just follow their example, I suppose.:D

Thats a pretty unfair statement to make. Culturally we're not a touchy feely people. Its nothing to do with homophobia or bigotry its just not a part of our culture.

Cee-Jay-Cee

I once held hands with my wife in public but I'm ok now and no longer do it.

iDave

Maybe

I could just imagine now the reaction if I tried to hold my mates hand in public.

Wacker The Attacker

Maybe

9959 wrote: »

I don't find someone punching someone in the face very touching, do you?

No. Thats the whole point of doing it.

Wacker The Attacker

Maybe

Ellis Dee wrote: »

Yes, it's quite common to see men or boys walking hand-in-hand in India as well as in many Middle Eastern countries. Women do the same. It's a local custom and those of us who have travelled just accept these things as they are and think little if anything of it.:)

However, I wouldn't recommend it in Ireland, where far too many people are insular, blinkered, annoyingly "pass-remarkable" and set in their petty-mindedness and bigoted ways. :rolleyes:

That, of course, could change if enough people adopted the custom, and then the rest of the sheeple would just follow their example, I suppose.:D

Isn't this a petty minded extrapolation. You appear to have jumped to this conclusion on the basis that adults dont generally hold hands in public.

Rasheed

Maybe

Culturally middle eastern countries do it and culturally we don't.

Don't see our lack of doing it as some sign of homophobia or being bigoted.

carrig2

Maybe

CJC999 wrote: »

I once held hands with my wife in public but I'm ok now and no longer do it.

But at least you are strong enough to talk about it.
Psychotherapy?

Priori

Maybe

When I was in Nepal it was a common enough site to see two guys (usually fairly young - early 20's, late teens) holding hands. I found the Nepalese a very gentle, good-natured folk in general, "innoccent" I suppose you could say (not in the naive sense), so maybe that had something to do with it.

Ellis Dee

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Isn't this a petty minded extrapolation. You appear to have jumped to this conclusion on the basis that adults dont generally hold hands in public.

No, you have drawn the wrong conclusion, probably because you did not read my post carefully enough. I am aware that people don't generally hold hands in public in Ireland, but can't figure out why it should bother anyone else if some of them do, or what business it is of theirs.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Ellis Dee

Priori wrote: »

When I was in Nepal it was a common enough site to see two guys (usually fairly young - early 20's, late teens) holding hands. I found the Nepalese a very gentle, good-natured folk in general, "innoccent" I suppose you could say (not in the naive sense), so maybe that had something to do with it.

I have been in Nepal many times and agree 100%.:):)

jaja321

It's very common in Ethiopia also, to see male friends holding hands.

horsemaster

I really couldn't help but started laughing at some your comments. Hilarious! One says this is Ireland, married couples don't even hold hands. Another feller writes "I once held hands with my wife in public but I'm ok now and no longer do it." You all made my day on this cold, windy dark evening. Hope you all have a great day too.

Hippies!

Maybe

My bff is female so we do the touchy feely stuff. I've never had any desire to be within 3ft of another man though.

Local-womanizer

Maybe

Why would I want to hold hands with a mate? Seriously, what would be the point?

Seans_Username

Maybe

Ellis Dee wrote: »

Yes, it's quite common to see men or boys walking hand-in-hand in India as well as in many Middle Eastern countries. Women do the same. It's a local custom and those of us who have travelled just accept these things as they are and think little if anything of it.:)

However, I wouldn't recommend it in Ireland, where far too many people are insular, blinkered, annoyingly "pass-remarkable" and set in their petty-mindedness and bigoted ways. :rolleyes:

That, of course, could change if enough people adopted the custom, and then the rest of the sheeple would just follow their example, I suppose.:D

You said yourself, it's a local custom. There's no need to go insulting the majority of Irish people.

If you're going to go on like that sure I may as well call the people in the middle east 'backwards' cos they don't tour about in Honda Civics at night, drifting around the roundabout.

It's their custom. We have ours. Just cos we don't all of a sudden take up their culture doesn't mean we're 'petty-minded'.

Peregrinus

I think the point that people are overlooking is that we used to do this in Ireland too, quite recently. There's any number of photographs of, say, well-known literary figures strolling through the streets of Dublin arm-in-arm with friends. The point is, why did we stop? When did this behaviour start to become unacceptable, and why?

9959

"On State Street, that great street, I just want to say
They do things they don't do on Broadway
They have the time, the time of their life
I saw a man he danced with his wife
In Chicago, Chicago my home town"

Balmed Out

Maybe

I remember getting a bus from the airport at nigh in Cairo. The bus had no women and had a few empty seats. Most on the bus had either an arm around another guy or were sitting on each others laps.

I found it quite surprising how a country I expected to be very conservative seemed to run a special gay bus airport connection.

Lyaiera

In fairness, lads do get very cuddly after a few beers. Walking down the street, singing songs to each other, arms over each others' shoulders. The occasional chip lovingly flung at each others' head.

ash23

Maybe

I'd link arms with my sisters or close female friends.
I hold hands with my daughter or my boyfriend but I wouldn't be comfortable holding hands with my friends.

demakinz

We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it.

1stimpressions

Its common in rural Thailand especially in the Northern parts but in Bangkok I mostly only see it between elderly men or far more frequently girls or women and female members of the same family. I can see its has been on a steady decline but you will see two boys holding hands with each other from time to time.

ItAintMeBabe

No

My best friend and I would hold hands a lot of the time, we think nothing of it Two girls by the way!

Ellis Dee

Seans_Username wrote: »

You said yourself, it's a local custom. There's no need to go insulting the majority of Irish people.

If you're going to go on like that sure I may as well call the people in the middle east 'backwards' cos they don't tour about in Honda Civics at night, drifting around the roundabout.

It's their custom. We have ours. Just cos we don't all of a sudden take up their culture doesn't mean we're 'petty-minded'.

Don't shoot the messenger! And who has appointed you to speak for the majority of Irish people?:rolleyes::rolleyes: Maybe you should read Myles na gCopaleen's book, especially the bits about TIPAAW!:D:D

If you read my original post, you will see that I referred to many Irish people being insular, pass-remarkable and often petty minded and bigoted. Naturally, there are also many who are the opposite. They are the ones I prefer to associate with as much as possible.

I never suggested you take up foreign people's cultures, but think it might not be a bad thing at all for those who gawp at anything out of the ordinary to just accept it. Even in Ireland, where there are far more foreign people than was the case when I was young.

It is my perception that many Irish people are far too quick to comment on people's dress styles, mannerisms and way of life generally. I believe I have a right to express that view, and you can express yours. It is also the view of my Finnish-born wife, who finds a lot of Irish people narrow-minded and parochial to the point of absurdity, but she takes it in good humour and prefers to use the world "whimsical" where I would use "weird".

My daughter, who has lived in Dublin for nearly 20 years, is still regularly appalled at the "casual racism" and "lack of cop-on" that she finds sadly common in everyday life in Ireland.

Actually, and maybe it has been done already, someone should start a thread where foreigners living in Ireland could honestly express their view of us.

Do you think you'd be up to a bit of criticism? Who knows, there might even be some praise as well.:)

kowloon

im invisible wrote: »

We must move forward, not backward...

...and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AO43p2Wqc08

Conall Cernach

Lyaiera wrote: »

In fairness, lads do get very cuddly after a few beers. Walking down the street, singing songs to each other, arms over each others' shoulders. The occasional chip lovingly flung at each others' head.

Once while staggering home with a mate of mine we ended up supporting each other at my front door. When I went to put my hand in my pocket for my keys I accidentally put my hand in his pocket instead. It was one of those pokerface moments and we never mentioned it again.

pablomakaveli

Ellis Dee wrote: »

Don't shoot the messenger! And who has appointed you to speak for the majority of Irish people?:rolleyes::rolleyes: Maybe you should read Myles na gCopaleen's book, especially the bits about TIPAAW!:D:D

If you read my original post, you will see that I referred to many Irish people being insular, pass-remarkable and often petty minded and bigoted. Naturally, there are also many who are the opposite. They are the ones I prefer to associate with as much as possible.

I never suggested you take up foreign people's cultures, but think it might not be a bad thing at all for those who gawp at anything out of the ordinary to just accept it. Even in Ireland, where there are far more foreign people than was the case when I was young.

It is my perception that many Irish people are far too quick to comment on people's dress styles, mannerisms and way of life generally. I believe I have a right to express that view, and you can express yours. It is also the view of my Finnish-born wife, who finds a lot of Irish people narrow-minded and parochial to the point of absurdity, but she takes it in good humour and prefers to use the world "whimsical" where I would use "weird".

My daughter, who has lived in Dublin for nearly 20 years, is still regularly appalled at the "casual racism" and "lack of cop-on" that she finds sadly common in everyday life in Ireland.

Actually, and maybe it has been done already, someone should start a thread where foreigners living in Ireland could honestly express their view of us.

Do you think you'd be up to a bit of criticism? Who knows, there might even be some praise as well.:)

This isnt an irish thing. You'll find people like that in any part of the world.

FullblownRose

Ellis Dee wrote: »

Don't shoot the messenger! And who has appointed you to speak for the majority of Irish people?:rolleyes::rolleyes: Maybe you should read Myles na gCopaleen's book, especially the bits about TIPAAW!:D:D

If you read my original post, you will see that I referred to many Irish people being insular, pass-remarkable and often petty minded and bigoted. Naturally, there are also many who are the opposite. They are the ones I prefer to associate with as much as possible.

I never suggested you take up foreign people's cultures, but think it might not be a bad thing at all for those who gawp at anything out of the ordinary to just accept it. Even in Ireland, where there are far more foreign people than was the case when I was young.

It is my perception that many Irish people are far too quick to comment on people's dress styles, mannerisms and way of life generally. I believe I have a right to express that view, and you can express yours. It is also the view of my Finnish-born wife, who finds a lot of Irish people narrow-minded and parochial to the point of absurdity, but she takes it in good humour and prefers to use the world "whimsical" where I would use "weird".

My daughter, who has lived in Dublin for nearly 20 years, is still regularly appalled at the "casual racism" and "lack of cop-on" that she finds sadly common in everyday life in Ireland.


I've always found Irish people to be the complete opposite. In fact I've grown up here with the sense that it's just not the done thing to belittle people. S'pose it depends on your social circle as much as anythng. I find English people to be very two faced and quick to disparage and pick faults with others, very ready to make a cheap joke at others' expense and there's a tendency to be demeaning in their sense of humour and way of talking about people.. Not every English person I know, but enough of them to give the impression that it could be a cultural thing. Ive often cringed at harsh personal remarks my English acquaintances have passed about people in public (which would cover friends making PDAs). I don't want to fec any English people off here, I'm actually married to one and he has said this himself, but I'm sure plenty of people will not agree because it isn't really endemic to any one nationality, is it?

FullblownRose

Hang on..cheap jokes, demeaning and belittling people,it's boards.ie.....oops

Neewbie_noob

No

Oranage2 wrote: »

In another country and I've noticed it's very common for young boys and men aswell as females to hold hands or have their arms around members of the same sex. At first I thought it was a tad strange until someone explained that actually it's not homosexual at all and just a display of friendship.

So this got me thinking that wouldnt it be nice to able to do this back home, whether it was going down the street holding hands with your BFF or even just walking on the beach with arms around each other in a none homo erotic just simply a platonic way.

SO people of AH, do you hold hands with a friend of the same sex and/or would you like too?

It's early, misread the poll :P Ehh, not between a guy and a guy or a gal and a gal in a platonic way, no. Only between people in a romantic way, two guys and two girls can do this, I'v nothing against homosexuality from either gender, but doing it platonicaly is a bit weird.

counterlock

I once held my friends hand but this seal kept following us around shouting something at us.