People who befriend the lone elderly.

Agricola · 17-11-2012 09:06PM

It's nice to think there are a lot of good samaritans out there. My own experience has been quite the opposite though, both my parents losing out on what should have been straight forward (and hard earned) inheritances due to brass necked opportunistic younger relatives who made a point of "keeping in with the aul fella / one" in the last couple of years of their lives.

If I had a tenner for everytime I heard this befall someone in my own locality, I could retire almost. I definitely think theres a blatant culture of it in rural Ireland. If families can fúck each other over, then surely neighbours looking for a nice little earner on the death of an elderly person nearby, is quite common too.

juan.kerr · 17-11-2012 09:07PM

Is there such a thing as 'earned inheritances'?

Agricola · 17-11-2012 09:09PM

juan.kerr wrote: »

Is there such a thing as 'earned inheritances'?

What would you call 30 years solely attending to a spinsters every whim? A bit of craic....?

Blazer · 17-11-2012 09:09PM

Odysseus wrote: »

This is a bit off topic, nut an old lad who leaves up the road from my done was done last week. Three blokes broke into his house, then brought him down the bank where he handed over four grand. I don't know what levels of threats etc were used, but the poor man is in his 80's. It would make your blood boil. My mam seen him yesterday and the poor fcuker couldn't even talk about.

This is when I wished Karma existed and those fúckers had the same thing happen to them in their 80's.
Unfortunately karma doesn't exist and this pricks will prob have people like you looking after them in their old age never realising what kind of people they are:mad:

Rasheed · 17-11-2012 09:11PM

WindSock wrote: »

Old people are great craic. I would love to know some in the area to drop in on from time to time.

The elderly are the best craic. I work in an with a lot of elderly, the stories would have you in stitches!

juan.kerr · 17-11-2012 09:12PM

Agricola wrote: »

What would you call 30 years solely attending to a spinsters every whim? A bit of craic....?

So why did they do it? Purely for the money it seems. In that case why didn't your parents agree something in advance with the spinsters?

Micky Dolenz · 17-11-2012 09:14PM

Why not befriend ould wans, I hear the crack is 90.

LoonyLovegood · 17-11-2012 09:18PM

I do it. If I'm in my grandmothers, I'll go down to her neighbours. I've known most of them since I was a child, and they like that I'll still go and talk to them. A little bit of kindness goes an awful long way

Degringola · 17-11-2012 09:18PM

I had a relative who used to have an old lady to Sunday lunch for years. When she died she left her all her money.
The same relative's daughter now visits various old ladies.
Although they are very nice people, it just made me wonder. But maybe that says more about me than about them, I dunno.

Agricola · 17-11-2012 09:19PM

juan.kerr wrote: »

So why did they do it? Purely for the money it seems. In that case why didn't your parents agree something in advance with the spinsters?

Because my parents are too good natured for their own good. They took these people at their word, years ago, that it was their wish for the place to go to them. It was just a verbal thing, and obviously not worth the paper it wasnt written on. Never once did either of them march these elderly relatives into a solicitors office to make it official. That was their mistake. Others capitalized on their decency.

Hard thing to learn such a lesson when you're over 60 yourself.

ProudDUB · 17-11-2012 09:25PM

I have an elderly aunt who has no kids living in Dublin. They are all in Ireland, just not in Dublin. They come up to see her quite often, but I'm the only one who would look in on her on a consistent basis, pretty much every day if she is sick, which is pretty often. I am happy to do so, as she really is great crack. Two of her kids are very grateful to me for doing this, even though I don't do it for the thanks. But the third one always has some snide, snippy remark to make about me and her mother whenever I see her. It's as if she is trying to figure out my angle, and what I am after. For the sake of family unity, I do my best to ignore her, but God its fcuking annoying. I think that it says a lot more about her than it does me quite frankly !

Abi · 17-11-2012 09:25PM

Agricola wrote: »

then surely neighbours looking for a nice little earner on the death of an elderly person nearby, is quite common too.

The elderly aren't stupid though, they've been around a lot longer than us - cute as foxes. I think some of them realise that they're being done over but allow it because they can't do some things for themselves and long for company.

I normally judge people well, and I am rarely wrong. A person who was truly looking out for me with no agenda won't care in the slightest if I give all that I own to the Irish cancer society or another very deserving charity, and a letter of appreciation to them for all that they'd done for me.

Pawwed Rig · 17-11-2012 09:28PM

TBH Agricola I think that attitude is fairly disgusting. An inheritace is a post motem gift, not payment for work done. If they really wanted payment they should have been honest about it from the start and asked for it.
If they want to work hard to earn money then start a business or get a job and your description does not show a very friendly or caring attitude.

Agricola wrote: »

What would you call 30 years solely attending to a spinsters every whim? A bit of craic....?

Ronin247 · 17-11-2012 09:49PM

Knew an old man who the neighbours looked after for years,his family were all living too far to visit regularly.This family looked after him really well...sunday dinner with them for 20 years,Christmas in their house and every need taken care of.When he died everything went to his sister,the neighbours didn't care as they were happy to have been able to help....the sister promptly gave half to the neighbours(30 -40 grand) as she said her brother should have done it but never got round to doing a will.

Nice to see it where neither side wanted anything.

Giselle · 17-11-2012 09:54PM

There's some lovely stories of genuinely good people bringing some happiness to the old and alone here. I've a few tears in my eyes.

I hope the cynics here have someone restore their faith in humanity if they ever become old and alone, but they might drive kindness away with their suspicions.

Some of you have really caring families to be proud of.:)

GRMA · 17-11-2012 09:56PM

I'm friends with an aulfella down the road, in his 70s. I do help him out a bit, shopping etc and have a few pints with him in the local.

He's just a nice guy and I love to hear his stories about years ago.

Stained Class · 17-11-2012 11:40PM

Giselle wrote: »

There's some lovely stories of genuinely good people bringing some happiness to the old and alone here. I've a few tears in my eyes.

Me too & I know these stories are genuine.

Still, even at my age I'm still constantly surprised at the nature of certain people I come across sometimes.

Total sleeveens who can come across as the nicest in the world, but really are complete knackers who will prostitute themselves totally to get one over on everyone else.

I try not to be cynical, but human nature amazes me sometimes.

GRMA · 17-11-2012 11:51PM

A relation of mine was helped out by a neighbour who was very good to her, visiting, doing shopping etc, we all thought she was great until my relation died after a few months in hospital. She didn't leave the woman anything but left everything to her family. She wasn't happy at all and even disputed the will and tied things up for ages demanding thousands of euro for what she spent on parking and fuel visiting my relation in hospital during her last few months.

I don't think I've ever been more disgusted with a human being. We all thought she was a saint.

We were wondering actually why she wasn't left anything, guess my relation was on to her

Was a wise old woman.

GoldenLight · 18-11-2012 12:37AM

My name is URL wrote: »

If people help others to make them feel better about themselves is it still a selfless act? I think everyone has an 'agenda' regardless of what they tell themselves. Some are just more apparent than others.

Completely agree, with that statement but would also like to add that there is nothing wrong with feeling good about yourself after you help another human being, as for the agenda, I assume most people have an agenda to any of their actions conscious and subconscious, it doesn't mean that agendas are wrong. Now I know that "My Nmae is URL" didn't state that anything was wrong in their comment, with people helping each other, and should be taken on face value.
If people read that statment, and believe

"that people are ameant to be gold digging manipulative beings."

I have to say from my experience and my own motivation that, statement is simply not true, and it can be used as an excuse, way to many times by the cynic in us all.

Stained Class · 18-11-2012 12:52AM

GRMA wrote: »

A relation of mine was helped out by a neighbour who was very good to her, visiting, doing shopping etc, we all thought she was great until my relation died after a few months in hospital. She didn't leave the woman anything but left everything to her family. She wasn't happy at all and even disputed the will and tied things up for ages demanding thousands of euro for what she spent on parking and fuel visiting my relation in hospital during her last few months.

I don't think I've ever been more disgusted with a human being. We all thought she was a saint.

We were wondering actually why she wasn't left anything, guess my relation was on to her Was a wise old woman.[/QUthiOTE]

Sorry to hear this, but...this type of thing is quite prevelant unfortunately.

It's hard for decent people to believe, but Greedy Bears exist everywhere.

LivelineDipso · 18-11-2012 12:58AM

pappyodaniel wrote: »

Does this kind of thing genuinely go on? I've never seen anything blatant but the cynic in me is making me suspicious.

Most are well meaning. Sadly a lot of sociopaths and psychopathic types do this to get into their wills and rob these old folks silly. They will sell their collectables and use their credit cards. It is an unseen criminality.

More common than people realise. Evil. My sister is a social worker and she hears of so many scumbags involved in this.

GoldenLight · 18-11-2012 01:12AM

Stained Class wrote: »

GRMA wrote: »

A relation of mine was helped out by a neighbour who was very good to her, visiting, doing shopping etc, we all thought she was great until my relation died after a few months in hospital. She didn't leave the woman anything but left everything to her family. She wasn't happy at all and even disputed the will and tied things up for ages demanding thousands of euro for what she spent on parking and fuel visiting my relation in hospital during her last few months.

I don't think I've ever been more disgusted with a human being. We all thought she was a saint.

We were wondering actually why she wasn't left anything, guess my relation was on to her Was a wise old woman.[/QUthiOTE]

Sorry to hear this, but...this type of thing is quite prevelant unfortunately.

It's hard for decent people to believe, but Greedy Bears exist everywhere.

This is actually what annoys me, putting forward as fact, something that a poster heard as heresay, or at most one half of a story, and then decide it is quite prevelant

I could tell stories too, and state they are quite prevelant to the complete opposite to what has being just said in that story, but I won't.

I will state though through my last 5 years experience of taking care of my mother who is elderly, and I am her full time carer, most people will go out of their way to help her. 1% of them want to take advantage of her and her age.

GRMA · 18-11-2012 01:17AM

GoldenLight wrote: »

Stained Class wrote: »

This is actually what annoys me, putting forward as fact, something that a poster heard as heresay, or at most one half of a story, and then decide it is quite prevelant

I could tell stories too, and state they are quite prevelant to the complete opposite to what has being just said in that story, but I won't.

I will state though through my last 5 years experience of taking care of my mother who is elderly, and I am her full time carer, most people will go out of their way to help her. 1% of them want to take advantage of her and her age.

I didn't hear it... I was the executor of the will.

Son Of A Vidic · 18-11-2012 01:22AM

later12 wrote: »

There is a particularly tactless undertaker near where I live, who has a name for himself as a blatant opportunist.....

That sounds like Ghandee from the other thread.

Stained Class · 18-11-2012 01:27AM

GoldenLight wrote: »

Stained Class wrote: »

This is actually what annoys me, putting forward as fact, something that a poster heard as heresay, or at most one half of a story, and then decide it is quite prevelant

I could tell stories too, and state they are quite prevelant to the complete opposite to what has being just said in that story, but I won't.

I will state though through my last 5 years experience of taking care of my mother who is elderly, and I am her full time carer, most people will go out of their way to help her. 1% of them want to take advantage of her and her age.

I think the quoting system is a bit fecked here, but I think this is aimes at me.

I know there's loads of decent people out there.

I hope to think that I'm one.

Still, there's loads out there who'd take the sugar outa your tea & smile atcha as their doing it.

Emeraldy Pebbles · 18-11-2012 01:36AM

Archeron wrote: »

I think most people who think that way are saying more about themselves than about people who are genuinely just trying to do a good turn for somebody else.

Not really, they might just be cynical from having seen elderly people preyed on. I've seen it a fair few times in my life sadly, and it has coloured my view a bit.

GoldenLight · 18-11-2012 01:39AM

GRMA wrote: »

GoldenLight wrote: »

I didn't hear it... I was the executor of the will.

Really cause your story comes across as heresay, or just gossip, and by the way your experiences dosen't make it quite prevelant. Maybe use your experiences to help other people, instead of stating it as a generlised fact, and that other people share your experience.

It what actually appears to be a very messy thing to go through, you have my understanding and sympathy on that point. But I really wish people wouldn't state it is quite prevelant based on that one story, that all people who look after (in any sort of way) the elderly in their community, are actually looking for something in the elderly persons will.

Emeraldy Pebbles · 18-11-2012 01:46AM

Abi wrote: »

The elderly aren't stupid though, they've been around a lot longer than us - cute as foxes.

Until they start to become a bit mithered...

I know this is not the fate of all elderly people, but many don't remain "cute as foxes", sadly.

Emeraldy Pebbles · 18-11-2012 01:49AM

Stained Class wrote: »

Still, even at my age I'm still constantly surprised at the nature of certain people I come across sometimes.

Total sleeveens who can come across as the nicest in the world, but really are complete knackers who will prostitute themselves totally to get one over on everyone else.

Yup.

Munstermissy · 18-11-2012 01:49AM

It does happen, I see it with my own elderly relatives, neighbours sniffing around big time. My uncle in law has a lot of land and one neighbour openly asked him to leave her one of the farms. I honestly do not know how she had the neck to ask:-(.

People who befriend the lone elderly.

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