Does Anyone Else Feel They Don't Belong In Ireland?

Maximus Alexander · 17-11-2012 09:46AM

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

Actually, being away has made me realise how much I miss and love Ireland. I can't wait to go back. I mean, there are other places that I love and could see myself living, but I really do identify with Irish people and culture a lot more than anywhere else. I would never want to grow old in another country.

Same here. When I was in Ireland I never really felt that Irish, what with living in Dublin City and not speaking the language.

But now that I've been away nearly a year, I'm actually missing the place. I mean it's not the greatest place in the world, let's be honest, and I'll always want to travel. But it's home.

I wouldn't want to raise kids anywhere else.

17-11-2012 09:59AM

I know a lot of Irish abroad and to be fair there is huge goodwill to Ireland and its the place they feel most at home.

However, having lived in other societies you notice things that might not be apparent to those living here all the time, who accept them as 'normal'.

They're not normal and I suspect this is what the OP was referring to.

the general gobsh1teism that goes on
the drink culture (ie quantity not quality)
the incompetence/vested interests in some systems especially medical and legal, leading to bad public service and high costs
the language (a lot of irish use fe** and fu** as a substitute for every adjective)
the media
instances like the tragedy in galway

thats enough for now

))

Lord TSC · 17-11-2012 10:04AM

I'm 25, unemployed and don't drink. My country would love for me to just bugger off and if I had the means and circumstances to do so, I wouldn't look back...

Grayson · 17-11-2012 10:07AM

Deleted User wrote: »

I know a lot of Irish abroad and to be fair there is huge goodwill to Ireland and its the place they feel most at home.

However, having lived in other societies you notice things that might not be apparent to those living here all the time, who accept them as 'normal'.

They're not normal and I suspect this is what the OP was referring to.

the general gobsh1teism that goes on
the drink culture (ie quantity not quality)
the incompetence/vested interests in some systems especially medical and legal, leading to bad public service and high costs
the language (a lot of irish use fe** and fu** as a substitute for every adjective)
the media
instances like the tragedy in galway

thats enough for now ))

let's face it, there's a lot to dislike about this country. There is a lot of small minded cronyism. And the reason all the irish people who love ireland love it is because it's home. The same people would be just as nuts about Essex if they were from there.

I'm not saying there aren't things to love. There is a certain things that still hold charm. But all in all, it's just another country. There's better and there's worse.

nin2010 · 17-11-2012 12:26PM

I used to love living in Ireland when things were good here and all my friends still lived here. So many people are emigrating or have emigrated now that it just doesn't feel like the same place. Maybe emigration isn't such a big problem in Dublin, Limerick is in a depressing downward spiral at the moment.

CianRyan · 17-11-2012 12:32PM

later12 wrote: »

That's interesting Cian.
My fullest congratulations.
You have the least pressing concerns about Ireland's social & political crises I have heard in Quite Some Time.

This, I wouldn't miss this.

MaxSteele · 17-11-2012 12:37PM

Unless I was a loner or social outcast of some sort, I can't say I feel that I don't belong. I'd say I have the same general attitude toward life like most other Irish people.

pablomakaveli · 17-11-2012 12:38PM

For me i do find i miss home. Sure there are bad points with Ireland but everywhere has its bad points.

For example i like that when im at home i can talk to people without some idiot trying to do a poor impersonation of an irish accent or saying "potato" to me. However i dont like the fact that when i go home women dont get moist panties when they here me speak like they do here.

So theres just good and bad everywhere really. In any case ill always feel Irish no matter where i am.

Celly Smunt · 17-11-2012 12:39PM

since i move so irratically i find when i'm away from ireland i miss it,but when i get back i can't wait to grab my bags and fook back off.

coonecb1 · 17-11-2012 12:48PM

Definitely don't feel like a typical Irish person even though I'm born and raised and didn't do much travelling apart from J1 Visa and inter-rail trips and holdiays etc.

Example:

In my house, I get scoffed and laughed at by my male Irish housemates because I apparently "have notions" about myself because:

- I clean the bathroom and kitchen every coupld of weeks
- Eat things like fruit and veg, and couscous (not together!)
- Have a slice of lemon when I'm drinking Coke in a glass at home
- Buy things like kitchen roll and floor cleaner for the kitchen

I'm 31 years old and don't enjoy living in mine and other people's filth is all

pablomakaveli · 17-11-2012 12:54PM

coonecb1 wrote: »

Definitely don't feel like a typical Irish person even though I'm born and raised and didn't do much travelling apart from J1 Visa and inter-rail trips and holdiays etc.

Example:

In my house, I get scoffed and laughed at by my male Irish housemates because I apparently "have notions" about myself because:

- I clean the bathroom and kitchen every coupld of weeks
- Eat things like fruit and veg, and couscous (not together!)
- Have a slice of lemon when I'm drinking Coke in a glass at home
- Buy things like kitchen roll and floor cleaner for the kitchen

I'm 31 years old and don't enjoy living in mine and other people's filth is all

Errr i think most people would agree living in filth isnt an irish thing. I dont like living in a filthy place either.

coonecb1 · 17-11-2012 01:00PM

pablomakaveli wrote: »

Errr i think most people would agree living in filth isnt an irish thing. I dont like living in a filthy place either.

Yeah but based on the different nationalities I've lived with I have to say Irish people aren't not great on the whole cleanliness side of things.

Don't get me wrong I'm far from being perfectly clean myself, but just think as a nation we're nowhere near the likes of the Swedes even though we think we are because we shop in Ikea!

jester77 · 17-11-2012 01:04PM

Same as you OP. I'm a long time gone and don't see myself ever going back. I like it where I am, things just work, lots of transparency to where my taxes go, politicans know what they are doing and people get on with their lives without trying to 1 up each other.

When I would go home 10 years ago, all people would talk about was property and their latest cars. Now when I go back all they talk about is how much their property has lost value and that they can't afford anything, yet they still have things like Sky subs and can go on holidays.

mathepac · 17-11-2012 01:06PM

Seaneh wrote: »

The OP is Irish.

I don't care if he's Martian. I agree with him; "they" don't belong here, whoever they are.

Down with this sort of thing, un oeuf is un oeuf, "they" should feck the hell off; off home with them, nothing to see here.

Sound of Silence · 17-11-2012 01:42PM

It's always those who consider National identity to be an abstraction that claim to best know what defines an Irishman; and as such, what distances themselves from that definition.

Stercus Accidit · 17-11-2012 01:53PM

I hate the prevalence of old catholic Ireland and the fact so many of the older generation cling to it without consideration for secularism or equality. It's go catholic or go home. Things like abortion, alcohol sales bans on holy days, a lack of secular inclusive schools and a general undercurrent that anything progressive will have a hard time passing here. I had the privilege of going to a crap catholic school as a non-catholic my whole life and the ignorance and shite I dealt with was unreal. Thankfully, slowly, religion is being rejected here among my peer group.

The political culture here is also highly emotive, political posters ask us if we hate children, if we want jobs, babies will die! etc. etc.

People drink too much and rely on drink too much, and many are very negative, scumbags also run riot. I lived on the edge of an urban US ghetto and felt safer there than here, where I have been attacked twice in the last year.

The weather can also chew my hoop. I have family that live in sunny European countries, I might push myself to learn that second language and get out of here.

As of Savita's death, Ireland is an international embarrassment, since the blasphemy legislation, Ireland has been an international embarrassment, since the paedophile priests ran the country, Ireland has been an embarrassment. There is very little to be proud of here socially, we are good at rugby though, which I like.

questionmark? · 17-11-2012 02:00PM

I got frustrated with the state of the country and tried to hang on for as long as possible with living between both the UK and Ireland but took the plunge two years ago and moved to the UK to work full time.

It is similar in some ways but yet so different.

I love the Irish sense of humor i.e we can laugh at anything because its life and the fact when I'm in Ireland I'm not merely a number.

I'm proud to be Irish and I want to move home when the opportunity is right. I've spoken to a few Irish people who moved over here in the 70's and 80's who are now stuck here due to family commitments and dream of going home but never will get the chance to do so.

Teyla Emmagan · 17-11-2012 02:10PM

coonecb1 wrote: »

Definitely don't feel like a typical Irish person even though I'm born and raised and didn't do much travelling apart from J1 Visa and inter-rail trips and holdiays etc.

Example:

In my house, I get scoffed and laughed at by my male Irish housemates because I apparently "have notions" about myself because:

- I clean the bathroom and kitchen every coupld of weeks
- Eat things like fruit and veg, and couscous (not together!)
- Have a slice of lemon when I'm drinking Coke in a glass at home
- Buy things like kitchen roll and floor cleaner for the kitchen

I'm 31 years old and don't enjoy living in mine and other people's filth is all

Lemon in Coke! Yuk, yuk, yuk.

Bar that you sound wonderful, want to get married?!

dirtyden · 17-11-2012 02:32PM

J0urneyman wrote: »

I personally leave pride designated to the accomplishment of one individual, not a random event on arbitrary lines drawn on a map.

Home is where you make it.

As long as you're happy and at peace with yourself that's all that matters. For me, I guess I'm just happier living elsewhere.

You started this thread just to spout that line.

And it contradicts the essence your first post and the thread title. If you believe what you have typed in bold you would have had no reason to start this thread.

17-11-2012 02:32PM

Mixer taps.

still building bathrooms without mixer taps in the sink.

Cosmicfox · 17-11-2012 02:52PM

I've recently become aware of how strong the catholic influence still is in Ireland and I find it kind of unsettling, I thought we were past all that.

I'm not into the drinking culture because I have a **** stomach that can't very much without me feeling ill.

Was never into the fiddly-dee-dee cultural side of Ireland either.

I actually don't mind the weather, it's better than living somewhere roasting like Spain but I wish it snowed more.

BraziliaNZ · 17-11-2012 03:26PM

Well it rains an awful lot and there seems to be a disproportionate amount of morons, in Dublin anyway, I'm talking about the tracksuit/pyjama brigade.
I've been away about half of my adult life and am now, I'll probably go back sooner or later because it does have advantages over the UK alright, more space, less crowded, but it's most definitely worse run, and here I have the NHS at least.
I do feel a bit guilty though, turning my back on the place, I think there's a lot of talent that leave, because of the way the place is run. If we could keep our brightest young people in Ireland, we'd probably be doing really well, but the culture of effing off abroad never left the country, even during the boom. Gobsh1te governments have a lot to answer for.

17-11-2012 03:30PM

I think I'd fit back into Dublin or Galway or fine but not mad on the idea.. And I don't know if I'd want my kids raised in Ireland. If I got married abroad, I think I'd be happy with an international school with top notch teachers and kids from a lot of different nationalities. Expensive but healthier for a kid I think.

LordSutch · 17-11-2012 03:33PM

J0urneyman wrote: »

I've recently returned home from working abroad myself but I feel less Irish now than I did before of "being home". It's strange but I just don't consider Ireland as home anymore. I've no connection to the people, the culture, politically etc. It's just not me. Has anyone else had significant difficulty returning to Ireland having been away for some time, how did you cope with it etc?

You are certainly not alone in this feeling.

I too returned many moons ago after a fifteen year stint across the water, only to find that Ireland felt slightly alien to what I had remembered! At that time in the early 2000s there was a group set up in Dublin catering specifically for people like you & me, it was called 'Returned Immigrants' and they had about fifty/sixty members, people joined and left, others joined as they returned, and the general consensus was that we all felt like fish out of water, we complained about this and that, lots of complaining about being home, and as a result quite a few left these shores again.

Everything is soo expensive, the health service is crap, houses are far too expansive, its all so parochial, etc etc etc (That group no longer exists).

I stayed and have managed to settle back in (mostly) but it still took me many years to re-adjust to living back here in Ireland.

dd972 · 17-11-2012 04:02PM

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Well it rains an awful lot and there seems to be a disproportionate amount of morons, in Dublin anyway, I'm talking about the tracksuit/pyjama brigade.
I've been away about half of my adult life and am now, I'll probably go back sooner or later because it does have advantages over the UK alright, more space, less crowded, but it's most definitely worse run, and here I have the NHS at least.
I do feel a bit guilty though, turning my back on the place, I think there's a lot of talent that leave, because of the way the place is run. If we could keep our brightest young people in Ireland, we'd probably be doing really well, but the culture of effing off abroad never left the country, even during the boom. Gobsh1te governments have a lot to answer for.

The tracksuit/pyjama brigade you refer to are West Brit Jeremy Kyleheads, they're no different to their counterparts in various dross areas of the UK

BraziliaNZ · 17-11-2012 04:07PM

dd972 wrote: »

The tracksuit/pyjama brigade you refer to are West Brit Jeremy Kyleheads, they're no different to their counterparts in various dross areas of the UK

West Brit? Sigh...
Yeah I don't live in one of those areas. The problem with Dublin is that the city centre is plagued with them.

Sound of Silence · 17-11-2012 04:10PM

LordSutch wrote: »

You are certainly not alone in this feeling.

You always gave me the impression that you never felt that you belonged in Ireland.

billybudd · 17-11-2012 04:15PM

Quite a common thing when you first come home, where you lived before you had your favourite restaurant, shop,cafe, library etc, different friends that that you made and who existed in the place you lived and shared common interests etc, spend a few years here and you will feel the same if you were to move away again, its a cycle, no one is from anywehere anyway just where they live at moments in time.

Furious_George · 17-11-2012 04:24PM

J0urneyman wrote: »

I personally leave pride designated to the accomplishment of one individual, not a random event on arbitrary lines drawn on a map.

I not knocking your opinion because i can understand it. However, there is more to nationality especially in an island nation as small as ireland where within 5 mins two strangers can find common acquaintances.

Being irish is about a shared cultures and traditions, many of which are dying out. Its also about a shared history, for better or worse and how far we have come in the past 90 years of independence. It is about having pride in the fact that some of our sports people can mix it up with the best countries tens of times our size have to offer. Its also about having our own national sports which whether you like or hate it you have to admit provides social outlets for young people.

Im not trying to paint an idyllic picture of ireland because i know at the moment things are pretty **** here for many but i think there is more to it than just an arbitrary line on the map.

Wompa1 · 17-11-2012 04:26PM

I struggled with the drink culture. Unfortunately when everybody else you know is drinking several times a week you find yourself feeling left out a lot if you don't. But then the weather doesn't lend itself to doing much else either.

I tried to be pro-active for the sake of my career in my last couple of years there which seemed to irk people I worked with. I started my own blog which made me the butt of some peoples jokes...I'm in the US now and my co-workers and management are very encouraging about it. Also I just got asked if I would be interested in presenting at a large conference next year, when I told my co-workers here they were talking about trying to go and patting me on the back. If I was in my last job I would have got made fun of I'm sure.

I also think people are much friendlier here. I don't find it fake and annoying like so many people from Ireland have suggested that it is. After nearly a year living here I have come to the conclusion that people here are just genuinely friendly. Without Booze too! They don't seem to need alcohol to be able to socialize.

BUT even so I love and miss Ireland.

Does Anyone Else Feel They Don't Belong In Ireland?

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