Does Anyone Else Feel They Don't Belong In Ireland?

J0urneyman

First off, I've nothing against Ireland (how would that even make sense?). This is something that I've been tackling for some time so I thought I'd ask to see if others felt similarly.

In my experience with Irish people abroad that I've met throughout the years, I've found that a majority of them hold a lot of negativity and criticism for their place of birth. Regardless of their individual situations or causes to leave in the first place, they look far happier and at peace with themselves and their minds than they did at some point in the past. When I ask if they would return, the response is usually laughter.

I've recently returned home from working abroad myself but I feel less Irish now than I did before of "being home". It's strange but I just don't consider Ireland as home anymore. I've no connection to the people, the culture, politically etc. It's just not me. Has anyone else had significant difficulty returning to Ireland having been away for some time, how did you cope with it etc?

retalivity

J0urneyman wrote: »

In my experience with Irish people abroad that I've met throughout the years, I've found that a majority of them hold a lot of negativity and criticism for their place of birth.

Strange...ive always felt the opposite.

I've recently returned home from working abroad myself but I feel less Irish now than I did before of "being home". It's strange but I just don't consider Ireland as home anymore.

This is my greatest fear. After being away for a couple of years, i'm adamant i am going back to ireland to raise a family...im just worried ill be too long out

flutterflye

Yup.
It just doesn't feel 'right' for me - never did.
I don't know where would feel right, or if there is anywhere that would in fact.
I know I haven't been there yet anyway.
I have a feeling it's somewhere in Australia, yet I've never been there.

Seaneh

retalivity wrote: »

Strange...ive always felt the opposite.



This is my greatest fear. After being away for a couple of years, i'm adamant i am going back to ireland to raise a family...im just worried ill be too long out

This, while travelling I've met Irish people living everywhere from Bolivia and Ecuador to Jordan and Morocco and the vast majority of them love Ireland, most of them get extremely home sick, and most of them are proud to be Irish.

SafeSurfer

Nein

J0urneyman

Seaneh wrote: »

This, while travelling I've met Irish people living everywhere from Bolivia and Ecuador to Jordan and Morocco and the vast majority of them love Ireland, most of them get extremely home sick, and most of them are proud to be Irish.

I personally leave pride designated to the accomplishment of one individual, not a random event on arbitrary lines drawn on a map.

retalivity wrote: »

This is my greatest fear. After being away for a couple of years, i'm adamant i am going back to ireland to raise a family...im just worried ill be too long out

Home is where you make it.

As long as you're happy and at peace with yourself that's all that matters. For me, I guess I'm just happier living elsewhere.

Rabies

SafeSurfer wrote: »

Nein

Don't speak of my home!

Hippies!

If you're not a red head then you never really were Irish in the first place. :pac:

Seaneh

If you dont feel at home here. leave, go find somewhere else.

Don't just have a pity party and moan about it on the internet.

TheUsual

retalivity wrote: »

I'm adam ant...

It was acceptable in the 80's.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4B2a6l6wM2k

poeticseraphim

Lots of people have a different emotional home....i guess you find it

Maximus Alexander

Seaneh wrote: »

If you dont feel at home here. leave, go find somewhere else.

Don't just have a pity party and moan about it on the internet.

Quickly everyone, stop all the discussions on the internet!

Close down Boards.ie!

DEFTLEFTHAND

I've felt like that, not the same as you but for appearance reasons. I've sallow skin, brown eyes and dark hair. To look at me you'd say I was Spanish or Italian. In my youth this was often used as stick to beat me with by some of the lower orders who I went to school with. The anti foreigner brigade etc.

My mother used to tell me it was the Spanish Armada gene, either that or I'm adopted. :pac:

dhmusic

home is where the heart is?

zenno

Don't belong in Ireland I don't belong on this planet, never mind Ireland. I really want to go home now

CianRyan

I love Ireland but I do hate some of our social ideas, such as our anti performance car culture, our strong detest of our peers achievements and unwillingness to stand by our decisions as soon as the first bit of trouble arises.
I do love our humorous way of getting through the day to day, I love that I can call to friends unannounced for whatever reason and I love Dublin. It's one of my favourite cities, of which I've seen quite a few.

The biggest criticism I have of our fine county though, is our weather and its a pity too seeing as it's one of the few things we can't change.
I love being outdoors, I live extremes of weathers and I do tend to get a bid down when it's grey, cold and wet. It's mundane.

My plan is simple, travel and try new cities. Tokyo is big on my list but I struggle with learning language and Japanese working Visas don't come easy.
Preferable somewhere warm/hot and humid with access to colder conditions be it a seasonal change or a cross country drive.

I'm only 22 mind, I've quite a while ahead of me.

nocoverart

zenno wrote: »

Don't belong in Ireland I don't belong on this planet, never mind Ireland. I really want to go home now

Damn, you just stole my thunder. We need space travel! millions of planets in millions of galaxies with some that I'd think are habitable and teeming with life. Oh damn, there is that speed of light thing to contend with too.

retalivity

CianRyan wrote: »

I love Ireland but I do hate some of our social ideas, such as our anti performance car culture

lolwut??

CianRyan

retalivity wrote: »

lolwut??

Lulwut does not compute.
I don't suppose you speak English?

zenno

nocoverart wrote: »

Damn, you just stole my thunder. We need space travel! millions of planets in millions of galaxies with some that I'd think are habitable and teeming with life. Oh damn, there is that speed of light thing to contend with too.

The only way a person can reach the speed of light is when their physical body dies, then the electrical energy that is left over of which some call a soul manages this.

Ireland in my opinion is one of the best countries in the world to live, but what ruins it all is the w@nkers we employ to govern it. Now i really want to go home.

later12

CianRyan wrote: »

our anti performance car culture

No really... what

On the subject of the OP, I don't feel as though one must be of the opinion they need to "belong" anywhere. You are a liberated individual, you don't need to adhere to any specific set of behaviours; you will invariably find people who ascribe to your personal tastes regardless of whereupon this Earth you roam.

CianRyan

later12 wrote: »

No really... what

With huge taxes on cars with high CC ore 08 and even higher again on cars with a high Co2 rating post 08, the likes of bog standard Impreza's (non WRX/STI, more so 1.6) being classed as performance cars by insurance companies and 35+ males with full NCB not being able to get insurance on a Mitsubishi FTO or an RX-7 I would definitely say we have an anti performance car attitude in our country.
Sure as far as my OH is concerned an R34 GT-R is a "scumbags car". This is a sentiment I find echoing in most of middle class Dublin.

For the record, a BMW 325i is not a performance car, it's just a slightly more powerful family car. An M3 and to a slightly lesser extent a 335i are.

later12

That's interesting Cian.
My fullest congratulations.
You have the least pressing concerns about Ireland's social & political crises I have heard in Quite Some Time.

Maximus Alexander

CianRyan wrote: »

not being able to get insurance on a Mitsubishi FTO or an RX-7 I would definitely say we have an anti performance car attitude in our country.

I owned FTOs for years and the only people who would insure me were Quinn. It was pretty frustrating since I never had an accident or penalty points and still couldn't get a competitive premium.

later12 wrote: »

That's interesting Cian.
My fullest congratulations.
You have the least pressing concerns about Ireland's social & political crises I have heard in Quite Some Time.

This stuff matter if cars are your hobby. Like with anything, if there were strict censorship laws around TV, movies, video games, or if there were books which were banned it would be a major problem for some people.

Or if alcohol was prohibited, or people weren't allowed to fish, or hike, or whatever else it is they like to do.

There are certain cars that people in Ireland are effectively not allowed to own.

horsemaster

Seaneh wrote: »

If you dont feel at home here. leave, go find somewhere else.

Don't just have a pity party and moan about it on the internet.

I don't thionk OP said anything wrong here. In fact, I think he/she was civil throughout the post. I love Ireland too but there are problems with it (all countries have problems though). I am currently not in Ireland now because of the employment situation. A board or forum is a great way to talk about it.

I think OP, a lot of Irish feel this way. But then, I think most nationalities feel that way too. When a person leaves their country and move to another, they do miss something about their 'previous life'. This is perfectly normal.

The Irish who live abroad are a varied lot. Some say they miss Ireland and complain about the country they are currently in (usually working). I have heard this many times and sometimes they are chided by the locals because they can voice out too loudly their opinions and hurt the feelings of the locals. Usually the Irish are a good lot though.

Ireland is going through a major economic crisis and its visible globally. But from what I see, people in most countries are also sufferring moneywise. The country that I am working in has about 30% unemployment. Those who have jobs have been downgraded in many case. Many director and managers in prestigious companies are driving taxis and are doing bricklaying. Its a long fall from grace but they are taking it in stride. They also don't complain about foreigners taking their jobs. They do understand that life is tough all over which is why a foreigner has come to their land to seek a job.

When in times of trouble and pain, we tend to think only about ourselves and not thers. There is always the other side to consider. It is how we behave now during this time that makes us who we are. We are going through tough times but let us also show out kindness and humanity in these trying times. The world needs it.

Good luck OP and I wish you well. Hang in there and the good times will come surely.

later12

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

This stuff matter if cars are your hobby. Like with anything, if there were strict censorship laws around TV, movies, video games, or if there were books which were banned it would be a major problem for some people.

Or if alcohol was prohibited, or people weren't allowed to fish, or hike, or whatever else it is they like to do.

There are certain cars that people in Ireland are effectively not allowed to own.

Huh.

Yeah; censorship is an interesting point. Not sure if I'd agree yet, but I'd have to go away and think about it.

Touche.

Seaneh

horsemaster wrote: »

I don't thionk OP said anything wrong here. In fact, I think he/she was civil throughout the post.

I don't think they said anything wrong either but he he doesn't feel he belongs here, and he doesn't feel any connection, what's keeping him here? It sounds like he'd be happier if he tried to find somewhere he feels he belongs. I honestly think it's important to find somewhere you can feel grounded in and appreciate, whether that is Ireland or Botswana doesn't matter to me, go find it and be happy. I don't think he's a bad person or wrong or stupid, I just think he needs to act on how he feels rather than just being unhappy/affected by it...

If it was me, I'd go and look for the place I felt I belonged.

That was my point.

I stopped reading your post after the piece I've quoted because I feel that's all I needed to address.

mathepac

+1. I feel they don't belong in Ireland and they should just feck off home.

Seaneh

mathepac wrote: »

+1. I feel they don't belong in Ireland and they should just feck off home.

The OP is Irish.

nagirrac

As far as the attitude of Irish people who have emigrated, it depends on how long they have been away and how well they have assimilated. I would say after 5 years most people who have assimilated (by that I mean actually assimilated as opposed to finding other Irish to hang out with) are unlikley to miss Ireland other than in a nostalgic way. Anyone considering emigration should just go, its a big world out there and Ireland is a very small fish in a very big ocean. You will love Ireland just as much when you return, you just will not miss it so much after a while away.

Da Shins Kelly

Actually, being away has made me realise how much I miss and love Ireland. I can't wait to go back. I mean, there are other places that I love and could see myself living, but I really do identify with Irish people and culture a lot more than anywhere else. I would never want to grow old in another country.

Maximus Alexander

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

Actually, being away has made me realise how much I miss and love Ireland. I can't wait to go back. I mean, there are other places that I love and could see myself living, but I really do identify with Irish people and culture a lot more than anywhere else. I would never want to grow old in another country.

Same here. When I was in Ireland I never really felt that Irish, what with living in Dublin City and not speaking the language.

But now that I've been away nearly a year, I'm actually missing the place. I mean it's not the greatest place in the world, let's be honest, and I'll always want to travel. But it's home.

I wouldn't want to raise kids anywhere else.

I know a lot of Irish abroad and to be fair there is huge goodwill to Ireland and its the place they feel most at home.

However, having lived in other societies you notice things that might not be apparent to those living here all the time, who accept them as 'normal'.

They're not normal and I suspect this is what the OP was referring to.

the general gobsh1teism that goes on
the drink culture (ie quantity not quality)
the incompetence/vested interests in some systems especially medical and legal, leading to bad public service and high costs
the language (a lot of irish use fe** and fu** as a substitute for every adjective)
the media
instances like the tragedy in galway

thats enough for now ))

Lord TSC

I'm 25, unemployed and don't drink. My country would love for me to just bugger off and if I had the means and circumstances to do so, I wouldn't look back...

Grayson

Deleted User wrote: »

I know a lot of Irish abroad and to be fair there is huge goodwill to Ireland and its the place they feel most at home.

However, having lived in other societies you notice things that might not be apparent to those living here all the time, who accept them as 'normal'.

They're not normal and I suspect this is what the OP was referring to.

the general gobsh1teism that goes on
the drink culture (ie quantity not quality)
the incompetence/vested interests in some systems especially medical and legal, leading to bad public service and high costs
the language (a lot of irish use fe** and fu** as a substitute for every adjective)
the media
instances like the tragedy in galway

thats enough for now ))

let's face it, there's a lot to dislike about this country. There is a lot of small minded cronyism. And the reason all the irish people who love ireland love it is because it's home. The same people would be just as nuts about Essex if they were from there.

I'm not saying there aren't things to love. There is a certain things that still hold charm. But all in all, it's just another country. There's better and there's worse.

nin2010

I used to love living in Ireland when things were good here and all my friends still lived here. So many people are emigrating or have emigrated now that it just doesn't feel like the same place. Maybe emigration isn't such a big problem in Dublin, Limerick is in a depressing downward spiral at the moment.

CianRyan

later12 wrote: »

That's interesting Cian.
My fullest congratulations.
You have the least pressing concerns about Ireland's social & political crises I have heard in Quite Some Time.

This, I wouldn't miss this.

MaxSteele

Unless I was a loner or social outcast of some sort, I can't say I feel that I don't belong. I'd say I have the same general attitude toward life like most other Irish people.

pablomakaveli

For me i do find i miss home. Sure there are bad points with Ireland but everywhere has its bad points.

For example i like that when im at home i can talk to people without some idiot trying to do a poor impersonation of an irish accent or saying "potato" to me. However i dont like the fact that when i go home women dont get moist panties when they here me speak like they do here.

So theres just good and bad everywhere really. In any case ill always feel Irish no matter where i am.

Celly Smunt

since i move so irratically i find when i'm away from ireland i miss it,but when i get back i can't wait to grab my bags and fook back off.

coonecb1

Definitely don't feel like a typical Irish person even though I'm born and raised and didn't do much travelling apart from J1 Visa and inter-rail trips and holdiays etc.

Example:

In my house, I get scoffed and laughed at by my male Irish housemates because I apparently "have notions" about myself because:

- I clean the bathroom and kitchen every coupld of weeks
- Eat things like fruit and veg, and couscous (not together!)
- Have a slice of lemon when I'm drinking Coke in a glass at home
- Buy things like kitchen roll and floor cleaner for the kitchen

I'm 31 years old and don't enjoy living in mine and other people's filth is all

pablomakaveli

coonecb1 wrote: »

Definitely don't feel like a typical Irish person even though I'm born and raised and didn't do much travelling apart from J1 Visa and inter-rail trips and holdiays etc.

Example:

In my house, I get scoffed and laughed at by my male Irish housemates because I apparently "have notions" about myself because:

- I clean the bathroom and kitchen every coupld of weeks
- Eat things like fruit and veg, and couscous (not together!)
- Have a slice of lemon when I'm drinking Coke in a glass at home
- Buy things like kitchen roll and floor cleaner for the kitchen

I'm 31 years old and don't enjoy living in mine and other people's filth is all

Errr i think most people would agree living in filth isnt an irish thing. I dont like living in a filthy place either.

coonecb1

pablomakaveli wrote: »

Errr i think most people would agree living in filth isnt an irish thing. I dont like living in a filthy place either.

Yeah but based on the different nationalities I've lived with I have to say Irish people aren't not great on the whole cleanliness side of things.

Don't get me wrong I'm far from being perfectly clean myself, but just think as a nation we're nowhere near the likes of the Swedes even though we think we are because we shop in Ikea!

jester77

Same as you OP. I'm a long time gone and don't see myself ever going back. I like it where I am, things just work, lots of transparency to where my taxes go, politicans know what they are doing and people get on with their lives without trying to 1 up each other.

When I would go home 10 years ago, all people would talk about was property and their latest cars. Now when I go back all they talk about is how much their property has lost value and that they can't afford anything, yet they still have things like Sky subs and can go on holidays.

mathepac

Seaneh wrote: »

The OP is Irish.

I don't care if he's Martian. I agree with him; "they" don't belong here, whoever they are.

Down with this sort of thing, un oeuf is un oeuf, "they" should feck the hell off; off home with them, nothing to see here.

Sound of Silence

It's always those who consider National identity to be an abstraction that claim to best know what defines an Irishman; and as such, what distances themselves from that definition.

Stercus Accidit

I hate the prevalence of old catholic Ireland and the fact so many of the older generation cling to it without consideration for secularism or equality. It's go catholic or go home. Things like abortion, alcohol sales bans on holy days, a lack of secular inclusive schools and a general undercurrent that anything progressive will have a hard time passing here. I had the privilege of going to a crap catholic school as a non-catholic my whole life and the ignorance and shite I dealt with was unreal. Thankfully, slowly, religion is being rejected here among my peer group.

The political culture here is also highly emotive, political posters ask us if we hate children, if we want jobs, babies will die! etc. etc.

People drink too much and rely on drink too much, and many are very negative, scumbags also run riot. I lived on the edge of an urban US ghetto and felt safer there than here, where I have been attacked twice in the last year.

The weather can also chew my hoop. I have family that live in sunny European countries, I might push myself to learn that second language and get out of here.

As of Savita's death, Ireland is an international embarrassment, since the blasphemy legislation, Ireland has been an international embarrassment, since the paedophile priests ran the country, Ireland has been an embarrassment. There is very little to be proud of here socially, we are good at rugby though, which I like.

questionmark?

I got frustrated with the state of the country and tried to hang on for as long as possible with living between both the UK and Ireland but took the plunge two years ago and moved to the UK to work full time.

It is similar in some ways but yet so different.

I love the Irish sense of humor i.e we can laugh at anything because its life and the fact when I'm in Ireland I'm not merely a number.

I'm proud to be Irish and I want to move home when the opportunity is right. I've spoken to a few Irish people who moved over here in the 70's and 80's who are now stuck here due to family commitments and dream of going home but never will get the chance to do so.

Teyla Emmagan

coonecb1 wrote: »

Definitely don't feel like a typical Irish person even though I'm born and raised and didn't do much travelling apart from J1 Visa and inter-rail trips and holdiays etc.

Example:

In my house, I get scoffed and laughed at by my male Irish housemates because I apparently "have notions" about myself because:

- I clean the bathroom and kitchen every coupld of weeks
- Eat things like fruit and veg, and couscous (not together!)
- Have a slice of lemon when I'm drinking Coke in a glass at home
- Buy things like kitchen roll and floor cleaner for the kitchen

I'm 31 years old and don't enjoy living in mine and other people's filth is all

Lemon in Coke! Yuk, yuk, yuk.

Bar that you sound wonderful, want to get married?!

dirtyden

J0urneyman wrote: »

I personally leave pride designated to the accomplishment of one individual, not a random event on arbitrary lines drawn on a map.



Home is where you make it.

As long as you're happy and at peace with yourself that's all that matters. For me, I guess I'm just happier living elsewhere.

You started this thread just to spout that line.

And it contradicts the essence your first post and the thread title. If you believe what you have typed in bold you would have had no reason to start this thread.

Mixer taps.

still building bathrooms without mixer taps in the sink.