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Gay sperm donor told to pay child maintenance for 'his' two children

2

Comments

  • #32
    Teyla Emmagan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,638 ✭✭✭Teyla Emmagan


    He will end up paying this one way or another, making a fuss will accomplish nothing except making a lot of men think twice. He is just lucky that they are only coming after him now when the kids are already 13/14. Only a few years left then!! He should have told her to go to a clinic, nice clean sperm for 200 a pop. Even if he had paid for it himself it would have worked out a lot cheaper.


  • #33
    saiint
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭saiint


    My name is URL wrote: »
    There have been plenty of similar cases involving 'straight' people.. I don't see how all of the involved being 'gay' is of any relevance.

    Gay sperm is capable of fertilizing gay eggs.. what kind of sick science is this?!

    most gay people would agree being gay is in their genes :pac:


  • #34
    am i bovvered
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,102 ✭✭✭am i bovvered


    Of course he should pay for his children, €13 each per week !!! He makes it sound like he is the victim, there are two innocent children he helped bring into the world.


  • #35
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,909 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Teyla Emmagan wrote: »
    He will end up paying this one way or another, making a fuss will accomplish nothing except making a lot of men think twice. He is just lucky that they are only coming after him now when the kids are already 13/14. Only a few years left then!! He should have told her to go to a clinic, nice clean sperm for 200 a pop. Even if he had paid for it himself it would have worked out a lot cheaper.

    Except they've changed the law so someone who donates to a clinic can be tracked down by any offspring produced so there's far fewer people depositing. Next stupid step will be to have them liable for maintenance.


  • #36
    King Of Wishful Thinking
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 179 ✭✭King Of Wishful Thinking


    1ZRed wrote: »
    She could have gone down the sperm bank route but maybe this was the cheaper, more comfortable and better fitting option for her.

    Apparently the law in the UK back then prevented Lesbian couples from using sperm banks as women were required to have a male partner at the time.


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  • #37
    super_furry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,387 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    Totally daft and naive on his part not to have got a solicitor involved before consenting to help her have a baby.


  • #38
    philologos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,479 ✭✭✭✭philologos


    King Of Wishful Thinking wrote: »
    The women considered him to be a sperm donor and so not sure why they suddenly see him as the child's father all of a sudden.
    It could be because he is the child's father? Biologically that's exactly what he is irrespective of how it came about.

    This is why divorcing biological parenthood from social parenthood is generally a bad idea.


  • #39
    bluecode
    Closed Accounts Posts: 794 ✭✭✭bluecode


    He should pay up. They are HIS children any way you look at it. Yes he made a mistake like many a man gay or straight. But the kids are his and to me that implies taking a certain level of responsibility for that.

    At the same time I don't understand why you wouldn't want to have some part of their lives. I have two boys. I would hate to think they would be strangers to me. They are part of me as much as they are part of their Mother.

    It's pretty much black and white with me. He needs to shut up and pay up.


  • #40
    Sulla Felix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,442 ✭✭✭Sulla Felix


    philologos wrote: »
    It could be because he is the child's father? Biologically that's exactly what he is irrespective of how it came about.

    This is why divorcing biological parenthood from social parenthood is generally a bad idea.
    No, this is why doing it half assedly is a bad idea. He should have been able to divest himsself of rights and obligaftions, at the start and with the mothers consent.


  • #41
    Callan57
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,160 ✭✭✭Callan57


    philologos wrote: »
    It could be because he is the child's father? Biologically that's exactly what he is irrespective of how it came about.

    This is why divorcing biological parenthood from social parenthood is generally a bad idea.

    Doesn't the article say the woman introduced him as the children's FATHER when he attended family occasions, so clearly he widely known to be the father & apparently had no objection to being know as such .... until such time as it might cost him something! He's the father and responsible for his actions then and now. There is an old saying "he who dips his wick must pay for the oil" ... I just hope Joan Burton is studying this carefully! :)


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  • #42
    the_syco
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,310 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    Callan57 wrote: »
    There is an old saying "he who dips his wick must pay for the oil"
    What happens if he didn't dip his wick?


  • #43
    Beefy78
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,166 ✭✭✭Beefy78


    ballsymchugh wrote: »
    it's sahffend innit. wouldn't expect anything less from that dump.

    As a proud Southender I should point out that it was Basildon. :)


  • #44
    philologos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,479 ✭✭✭✭philologos


    Sulla Felix wrote: »
    No, this is why doing it half assedly is a bad idea. He should have been able to divest himsself of rights and obligaftions, at the start and with the mothers consent.

    Why should the desire alone be enough?

    Ultimately we have legal responsibilities in those situations. Those should be evaluated carefully. Mucking around with biology probably isn't much of an idea in that context.

    Besides there's no guarantee that the details of the donor won't be made available to the child when they seek them.


  • #45
    padd b1975
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,910 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    super_furry wrote: »
    Totally daft and naive on his part not to have got a solicitor involved before consenting to help her have a baby.
    I don't think there is any legal way you can avoid your obligations as a parent, apart from having the child adopted.


  • #46
    Wompa1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,360 ✭✭✭Wompa1


    Friend or not, don't trust a woman with your sperm. Also never trust a girl when she says it's ok I'm on the pill. There's some crazy mofos out there.


  • #47
    Cungi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 486 ✭✭Cungi


    saiint wrote: »
    most gay people would agree being gay is in their genes :pac:

    Does that meant the kid will be twice as gay? :confused:


  • #48
    Canis Lupus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,880 ✭✭✭Canis Lupus


    Cungi wrote: »
    Does that meant the kid will be twice as gay? :confused:

    I believe the correct term would be superghey.


  • #49
    Lolabear
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33 ✭Lolabear


    Wow what a crazy story...

    he should have looked into it a lot more into it than he did, and at least got things wrote down so he had a paper trail...

    wonder if he wanted custody of the children would she still be claiming he is the baby daddy...


  • #50
    bnt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,244 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    If you ask me, he made a huge mistake doing it as a "personal favour". Donors who donate though agencies have no such problems. Here's an example of an Irish clinic that only takes donations from England and Denmark (and not Ireland):
    It is impossible for a donor or recipient couple to trace each other. Both have their confidentiality respected. A child conceived using donor sperm, who has been told of his origins, may, if the donor was English, go to a central register in England when they have reached 18 years of age and acquire some non identifiable information about the donor. This is not possible with Danish donors.
    But there's a big problem with relying on the Law to preserve your anonymity: Laws can be changed.

    Government resting upon the will and universal suffrage of the people has no anchorage except in the people's intelligence.

    — Grover Cleveland



  • #51
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 1,654 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    This is UK law. As a result, I think most sperm donations in the UK now come from abroad.


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  • #52
    areyawell
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭areyawell


    How stupid was he, if he was going to do this correctly he should have going down the proper legal route


  • #53
    Madam_X
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,327 ✭✭✭Madam_X


    He made a mistake by doing something very generous - no need to nail him to the ****ing cross.
    Phill Ewinn wrote: »
    Substitute Basildon for Tallagh and no one here would give a fvck.
    Speak for yourself. And Basildon is also a really tough area so what's your point?
    Plenty of reasons why the gay should pay.
    "The gay" lol. There there, no need to be that freaked out by his sexual orientation.


  • #54
    FairytaleGirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 663 ✭✭✭FairytaleGirl


    a contract should have been drawn up beforehand to protect both parties.

    Rookie mistake!


  • #55
    YFlyer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,712 ✭✭✭YFlyer


    So he went clubbing with his wingman Shaun Keeble and got chatting to your wan.


  • #56
    B.A._Baracus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,309 ✭✭✭✭B.A._Baracus


    FairytaleGirl wrote: »
    a contract should have been drawn up beforehand to protect both parties.

    Rookie mistake!

    Sadly you are right.
    I think this story is just another example of 'trust no one' in life.


  • #57
    Dangerous Man
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,674 ✭✭✭Dangerous Man


    areyawell wrote: »
    How stupid was he, if he was going to do this correctly he should have going down the proper legal route

    Is legal route a euphemism?


  • #58
    areyawell
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭areyawell


    Dangerous Man wrote: »
    Is legal route a euphemism?

    You know what I mean, but trying to act smart about it


  • #59
    Scioch
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,249 ✭✭✭Scioch


    areyawell wrote: »
    You know what I mean, but trying to act smart about it

    Careful now, he's a Dangerous Man. How ya keepin anyway ? Are ya well ?


  • #60
    jill_valentine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,090 ✭✭✭jill_valentine


    What would be the legal route...? Buying in from abroad I suppose?

    Thinking about it now, I'd actually find it unlikely that it was possibly to legally disclaim fatherhood, so "signing something" might not have been an option.


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  • #61
    areyawell
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭areyawell


    jill_valentine wrote: »
    What would be the legal route...? Buying in from abroad I suppose?

    Thinking about it now, I'd actually find it unlikely that it was possibly to legally disclaim fatherhood, so "signing something" might not have been an option.

    Yes something like a sperm bank where the fathers have no legal responsibility for the child produced from the sperm. Also if they contacted solicitors and got them to draw up Legal contracts which they both signed would also work. Kinda like a Pre-Nupt if you get me

    Also she could have going on holiday and banged a load of strangers.


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