Are you socially anxious?

Internet Hero · 16-10-2012 10:16PM #1

when i am out in public or in social situations my mind goes blank, i cant think and all the ideas in my head go crazy and extreme. i get butterflies in my stomach and i feel really tired if im out for too long on the streets or in crowded shops or anything. its because of my social anxiety. i think most people are socialy anxious but maybe not as bad as me.

what about you? are you social anxiety when you are out in public and is it a constant drain on you? making you tired and grumpy?

Seedy Arling · 16-10-2012 10:18PM

No.

af_thefragile · 16-10-2012 10:19PM

Very.

I dread any kind of social interraction really. Though I try to not think about it much and just go ahead and do it anyway when I really need to get something done.
I'm just not very good at talking to people and holding conversations I guess. Most of the time I'm with people, especially one's who aren't my close friends, I spend in silence as I really don't have anything to talk about.

saiint · 16-10-2012 10:21PM

i get visions in me head of different ways of killing people, random people on the street and what objects id use around them to repeatitly batter them with
do you get that too? i thought i was the only one

phasers · 16-10-2012 10:21PM

Yep, it got really bad while I was on the dole for a while. Probably a self-esteem thing. It's getting a bit better since I've started college but I still get anxious. I can't think of anything to say and just feel extremely awkward and want to get out of the situation and go be on my own.

1ZRed · 16-10-2012 10:21PM

Internet Hero wrote: »

when i am out in public or in social situations my mind goes blank, i cant think and all the ideas in my head go crazy and extreme. i get butterflies in my stomach and i feel really tired if im out for too long on the streets or in crowded shops or anything. its because of my social anxiety. i think most people are socialy anxious but maybe not as bad as me.

what about you? are you social anxiety when you are out in public and is it a constant drain on you? making you tired and grumpy?

That college doesn't pay for itself

Suck it up would ya? :rolleyes:

Internet Hero · 16-10-2012 10:22PM

af_thefragile wrote: »

Very.

I dread any kind of social interraction really. Though I try to not think about it much and just go ahead and do it anyway when I really need to get something done.
I'm just not very good at talking to people and holding conversations I guess. Most of the time I'm with people, especially one's who aren't my close friends, I spend in silence as I really don't have anything to talk about.

yeah i am like that too, except i sometimes have things to talk about or offer but i cant speak because i am too obessesed with have anxious i am and if i talked it wouldnt make sense. ill end up going red and running out of breath if i talk

shopaholic01 · 16-10-2012 10:23PM

1ZRed wrote: »

That college doesn't pay for itself

Suck it up would ya? :rolleyes:

Eh .... that was your master plan, Redzer

.

Internet Hero · 16-10-2012 10:24PM

phasers wrote: »

Yep, it got really bad while I was on the dole for a while. Probably a self-esteem thing. It's getting a bit better since I've started college but I still get anxious. I can't think of anything to say and just feel extremely awkward and want to get out of the situation and go be on my own.

yeah i seek to be on my own but i actualy want to talk to people but i cant because of how nervous and tired i get from the anxiety of being out talking to people. i actualy hate being on my own because it is when i am on my own i am thinking about worse stuff haha

Celly Smunt · 16-10-2012 10:27PM

it's a vicious circle,the more you avoid it the worse it gets,and the worse you get.You just have to bite the bullet and go out,don't be conscious of what people think as much.

af_thefragile · 16-10-2012 10:29PM

saiint wrote: »

i get visions in me head of different ways of killing people, random people on the street and what objects id use around them to repeatitly batter them with
do you get that too? i thought i was the only one

I get those too. Its really weird. If I'm alone, my mind goes haywire imagining all the different ways I could get into trouble and die. If I'm driving I gets thoughts of my car breaking down in some dodgy part of town and some scumbag trying to mug me or some crap like that and then I would imagine how I would defend myself and what I could do to fight them off...

I many times also get dreams where I'm in some conflict situation where someone is trying to capture me or kill me and weirdly all these dreams end in the same way that I end up with a weapon in my hand, like a gun or a knife, I point the gun at the baddie and pull the trigger or stab the knife into his chest and absolutely nothing happens. He won't die or go away... and then I wake up!

And I don't even do drugs!

Internet Hero · 16-10-2012 10:32PM

af_thefragile wrote: »

I get those too. Its really weird. If I'm alone, my mind goes haywire imagining all the different ways I could get into trouble and die. If I'm driving I gets thoughts of my car breaking down in some dodgy part of town and some scumbag trying to mug me or some crap like that and then I would imagine how I would defend myself and what I could do to fight them off...

I many times also get dreams where I'm in some conflict situation where someone is trying to capture me or kill me and weirdly all these dreams end in the same way that I end up with a weapon in my hand, like a gun or a knife, I point the gun at the baddie and pull the trigger or stab the knife into his chest and absolutely nothing happens. He won't die or go away... and then I wake up!

And I don't even do drugs!

i dont get that one

i get my mind jumping around and unable to concentrate when i am around loads of people. and i get tired and headaches from it and have to sleep it off.

af_thefragile · 16-10-2012 10:32PM

pmcmahon wrote: »

it's a vicious circle,the more you avoid it the worse it gets,and the worse you get.You just have to bite the bullet and go out,don't be conscious of what people think as much.

This is key.
My college course requires me to go and interract with new and different people on a daily basis. I dread every one of these interraction but I have realised the more I think about them, the more anxious I get and the more I put them off, ultimately making things worse. The best way I've found to get over it is to not think about it and simply force yourself to go do it.

shopaholic01 · 16-10-2012 10:34PM

saiint wrote: »

i get visions in me head of different ways of killing people, random people on the street and what objects id use around them to repeatitly batter them with
do you get that too? i thought i was the only one

af_thefragile wrote: »

I get those too. Its really weird. If I'm alone, my mind goes haywire imagining all the different ways I could get into trouble and die. If I'm driving I gets thoughts of my car breaking down in some dodgy part of town and some scumbag trying to mug me or some crap like that and then I would imagine how I would defend myself and what I could do to fight them off...

I many times also get dreams where I'm in some conflict situation where someone is trying to capture me or kill me and weirdly all these dreams end in the same way that I end up with a weapon in my hand, like a gun or a knife, I point the gun at the baddie and pull the trigger or stab the knife into his chest and absolutely nothing happens. He won't die or go away... and then I wake up!

And I don't even do drugs!

I'm not being smart here, but you both sound like you over think things. Living in your heads too much - I suppose introverts do. I love socialising but overly extroverted people have a tendency to annoy. I don't fantasise about killing them though ..............

starbelgrade · 16-10-2012 10:35PM

Thankfully, I don't have any social anxieties. From what I've read here, it sounds pretty awful.

1ZRed · 16-10-2012 10:36PM

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Eh .... that was your master plan, Redzer .

No... that was just a hobby..

Sure even then, providing the, eh, 'item' is still a service in itself. Don't you go thinking that's the only head you have to use in those situations

Daveysil15 · 16-10-2012 10:38PM

I hear Cognitive behavioural therapy is good for social anxiety.

af_thefragile · 16-10-2012 10:38PM

Internet Hero wrote: »

yeah i seek to be on my own but i actualy want to talk to people but i cant because of how nervous and tired i get from the anxiety of being out talking to people. i actualy hate being on my own because it is when i am on my own i am thinking about worse stuff haha

Well I've realised I don't really have much problem talking to people once I get to know them. Like in college I end up getting paired up with different people often, most of whom are people I've never talked to before or people whom I've only spoken to a few times because we're in the same class. Once I get to know a person I don't feel anxious or anything talking to them although I do feel I make an arse of myself quite often but I just shrug it off and not think much about it. Although still I do end up spending good portion of my time with these people in silence as we've got nothing to speak about.

I like spending time on my own too as I can relax in my own quiet space and not be bothered by other people. I have time to do what I want.

zenno · 16-10-2012 10:39PM

.

--LOS-- · 16-10-2012 10:42PM

ye, I used to suffer social anxiety pretty badly, it still creeps up on me from time to time, I've noticed some signs of it again recently which I put down to being done with college, not having much going on and spending too much time to myself. But at my lowest point it was debilitating, panic attacks, not being able to breathe, feeling myself start to black out and my surroundings going blurry, I could be in a supermarket or something and all of a sudden not be able to see straight ahead in front of me and have to leave. Everything became a huge task, thankfully it was a particularly bad time of my life and as other things changed I felt better.

Remmy · 16-10-2012 10:44PM

Yep. I'm not sure if it's because I'm a naturally shy person but its pretty annoying. I don't mind shopping for things or doing something where I have a clear objective but just being out 'mooching' or 'browsing around' really messes with my head. Things like public speaking (which are supposed to be real bugbears for people with social anxiety) don't really bother me because there is usually a bit of reason behind it.

af_thefragile · 16-10-2012 10:44PM

shopaholic01 wrote: »

I'm not being smart here, but you both sound like you over think things. Living in your heads too much - I suppose introverts do. I love socialising but overly extroverted people have a tendency to annoy. I don't fantasise about killing them though ..............

I can't help it. My mind always seem to be overactive, thinking too much.
Even back in school my teachers always used to tell me that I have a wild imagination.

Sometimes I wish I could just shut down all this mental noise and experience some peace and quiet. But then I'm also lately quite stressed with college work. Though this stress (uncertainty more specifically) is something I need to learn to deal with as its something that is going to stay with me for my the rest of my life. I guess I just need to find better ways of relaxing and meditating than spending my time on the internet!

Rothko · 16-10-2012 10:47PM

I'm never been diagnosed or anything but I'm 99% sure I have some form of social anxiety. I'm the shyest person I know, by a wide margin. I have thought about getting counseling or something done about it but I'm not sure if it would work.

Internet Hero · 16-10-2012 10:47PM

Cant help it either. i feel it coming on the same way it was since i was in my first day of school and it keeps going no matter what i do haha. i can see that it is holdin me back alot so i would want it to change and pull myself together but dont know how i can if it just happens on its own. nobody knows i am like this either haha just keep it to myself

shopaholic01 · 16-10-2012 10:49PM

af_thefragile wrote: »

I can't help it. My mind always seem to be overactive, thinking too much.
Even back in school my teachers always used to tell me that I have a wild imagination.

Sometimes I wish I could just shut down all this mental noise and experience some peace and quiet. But then I'm also lately quite stressed with college work. Though this stress (uncertainty more specifically) is something I need to learn to deal with as its something that is going to stay with me for my the rest of my life. I guess I just need to find better ways of relaxing and meditating than spending my time on the internet!

Well posting here is a good outlet because it's anonymous. As well as finding ways to relax you could also look at how you could use your imagination, expressing thoughts and feelings in a creative way as opposed to stressing about them.

krudler · 16-10-2012 10:51PM

I dont like people, so try and avoid shopping at peak hours, going to the cinema when its packed, i'd never go to a festival or something cos I couldnt stand to be around that many people, much prefer quieter places, other people are what ruin everything.

dacogawa · 16-10-2012 10:51PM

Can I just say you all seem like really nice thoughtful people, good thread to start internet hero

The best thing you've all done is talk about it, that's the start, you would not believe how many other people have this & other anxiety problems & dont want to talk about it, therein lies the problem!

Have a think about some situations that make you anxious (say 5 or 10) and rate them from 1 to 10, 1 being the easiest & 10 being the one you just cant/wont/hate doing. and try to do a '1' a few times, it becomes easier each time (called habitation) after you do it reward yourself! (have a nice long bath, play your playstation, go shopping, do something you really like doing) and when you feel comfortable move up to your next number on the list. you cant fail at this, if it doesn't feel right & you leave or something, that's fine, just try again, you'll get it

Just remember no one can see how you feel on the inside and a lot of other people feel just like you.

Here's a link I found that might help too
http://www.rethink-anxiety-disorders.com/social-anxiety-disorder.html

starbelgrade · 16-10-2012 10:53PM

dacogawa wrote: »

Can I just say you all seem like really nice thoughtful people

:eek:

zenno · 16-10-2012 10:53PM

phasers wrote: »

Yep, it got really bad while I was on the dole for a while. Probably a self-esteem thing. It's getting a bit better since I've started college but I still get anxious. I can't think of anything to say and just feel extremely awkward and want to get out of the situation and go be on my own.

Nah, don't do that. I had a time myself when i was like this but that's the worst thing to do imo. Just be yourself, as the way you normally are or when with friends and listen to others and then reply to them. Like many people will say...i'm grand talking to my friends but i get anxious when i'm talking to a stranger or a person i don't know.. but the knack is...be yourself and just talk. If you think about making a fool of yourself talking to someone you hardly know, so be it and progress from there until you perfect the exchange of communication with people you hardly know.

I sure as hell came out with some dumb questions and comments talking to people before and made a right ass of myself, just like a few of my comments on boards but who cares....just be yourself and if people can't take who you are and how you communicate then it's their loss.

Out of a group of people you will meet, 1 or more will more than likely have the same interests as you in some way so just try instead of feeling like that. You might be surprised.

pragmatic1 · 16-10-2012 10:54PM

Yep. Even get it with friends when I haven't seen them in a while. It's getting worse the older I get too.

BillyMitchel · 16-10-2012 10:54PM

Used to suffer with it severely in my teens and twenties. It's a horrible thing to suffer from. Medication worked for a bit but stopped it because I didn't want to depend on it. CBT was a small help but didn't solve it. It was a serious nightmare but never stopped me doing anything. Going to pubs was the worset because I'd just drink quickly and get drunk and make a bigger eejit of myself than I usually do and then you feel a million times more anxious the next day.

One day I said I have to tell friends so I told 3 or 4 close friends and it helped a lot. We'd talk and laugh and joke about the situation or they'd cone up wirh the craziest situations and how I'd react and it would completely put me at ease. Today I'd get it a small bit but I just say **** it and go into the situation anyway and hope for the best and 9/10 times its fine.

A problem shared and all that but if its really affecting your quality of life go see your doc.

Are you socially anxious?

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