wedding favours

lowly26 · 01-09-2012 08:34PM #1

hi every one,

have just come from wedding fair in rds and while there came across what i thought was a lovely idea, instead of wedding favours making a donation to a charity in the guests name and leaving a card on the table to say so. my bridesmaids and myself thought it was such a lovely fantastic idea as it touches so many live. however my parents thought for that reason it might bring the mood of the day down a little.

what do people think good idea or bad??

thanks

LadyTBolt · 01-09-2012 10:00PM

I plan on doing just that and I think its a wonderful idea. So much money gets wasted on wedding favours that get left behind or taken home just for the sake of it. Many charities provide various types of cards at various costs. Its definitely worth it.

MILF · 01-09-2012 10:39PM

I have been sweating over what to have as my wedding favours, and came up with some good ideas, but I really like this idea! I work for Avon and I would love to raise money for their Breast Cancer Crusade as part of my wedding!

amdublin · 01-09-2012 11:32PM

It's a lovely idea.

And tbh don't listen to your parents. It is a very common thing to do, I have been at tons of weddings where it was done.

liliq · 02-09-2012 12:39AM

I've been thinking of doing this.
The only wedding favours we would end up getting would be sweets or something, and with a big meal they're not really going to be appreciated. Anything else I could think of, while nice, would just end up getting left behind or as junk...
A donation is such a nice idea, it's a win-win I think

Zaph · 02-09-2012 12:57AM

Wedding favours are generally utterly pointless and overpriced trinkets that nobody really wants. The vast majority of people will leave theirs behind, either forgetting to bring them home or deliberately leaving them behind. However much as I dislike favours, I prefer them to someone making a charitable donation "on my behalf". If I want to donate to a charity I will, and it may not be one that the happy couple have chosen for me. For example, I despise cats, so I really wouldn't appreciate a donation on my behalf to the local cat rescue shelter. Similarly, the couple themselves can make a donation should they so wish, but I really don't need to hear about it. Charity should be a private thing, done because the giver wants to help a cause close to them, not a public thing that would only serve to earn them pats on the back. I'm not saying for one minute that this is what the OP wants, and I'm sure that their intentions are completely honourable, but not everyone will view them that way. My suggestion, dispense with favours of any kind and if you want to make a charitable donation do so privately. Trust me, nobody will think any less of you for not getting a few sweets or a candle at your wedding and you can still feel good yourselves about having helped a good cause.

Dan82 · 02-09-2012 01:12AM

I think the money for charity is a great idea and most welcome at this time but I do think people find it a little " look what we are doing" at a wedding .

If you want to give an amount of Money to Charity go for it and in a speech you best man could mention it but I'd leave it at that.

We had our wedding in the last few months and we did give money to charity but didn't tell anyone as it was very personal,

We still wanted to give something to people and as we were getting married beside the seaside we collected stones localy and got them painted and then got each persons name put on one and used them as place names, they were loved by everyone and cost us next to nothing so we got he charity and something for everyone to bring home to remember your big day.

I'm sure you could do something like this that would suit you also

clint_silver · 02-09-2012 10:44AM

I'm with zaph.

If i was a guest at a wedding and read a card that said that id be thinking If you want to give to charity, do, you don't need to do it in my name and then tell me about it. Charity giving is a personal thing that you don't get to make for me, if you know what I mean. I know some people would think thats really nice but while I'm an easy going chap, Id definitely feel a bit strange about it.

I can see what your parents were thinking.

amdublin · 02-09-2012 11:25AM

Maybe don't say you've made the donation in the guests name.

Just say "in lieu of wedding favours a donation has been made to a local charity"

Moonbeam · 02-09-2012 11:37AM

I just would not bother with wedding favours.

Clareman · 02-09-2012 03:46PM

Why not meet halfway and get a charity token to give to everyone, something like shopping trolley tokens for the Irish Cancer Society.

woodchuck · 02-09-2012 03:58PM

It sounds like the sort of thing that for every person who thinks it's a great idea there'll be someone else who thinks it's a bad idea.

If you choose to donate money to charity instead of having wedding favours then that's great, but I don't know why you'd need to draw attention to it?

lowly26 · 02-09-2012 06:02PM

we were thinking on getting one of their wedding favours products instead of simply throwing 100 or so euro away on something stupid the money will be going to a good cause and theres still a little favour on the table for people to keep

Sleepy · 02-09-2012 06:14PM

Of the last four weddings I've been to, only one had favours. They were a stupid idea when the yanks started doing them and they're still an awful waste of money imo.

As you might guess, we're not bothering with them. Far better to spend an extra couple of euro on each bottle of wine or on upgrading the meal imo.

rainbowtrout · 02-09-2012 06:37PM

Sleepy wrote: »

Of the last four weddings I've been to, only one had favours. They were a stupid idea when the yanks started doing them and they're still an awful waste of money imo.

As you might guess, we're not bothering with them. Far better to spend an extra couple of euro on each bottle of wine or on upgrading the meal imo.

Too true. Haven't seen favours at any wedding I've been at in the last 2 years. Waste of money. I'd agree with above and prefer to see the money spent on better wine, slightly better meal than on something to throw in the back of the drawer. I was at the wedding, I took photos. I have enough memories between them. I don't need more crap cluttering up my house.

pwurple · 02-09-2012 06:47PM

Agree, skip the favours. We didn't do them, and i haven't seen them at a wedding in a long while.

The charity thing... "Look how charitable we are" is always a little icky. Charity is private.

clint_silver · 02-09-2012 07:38PM

lowly26 wrote: »

we were thinking on getting one of their wedding favours products instead of simply throwing 100 or so euro away on something stupid the money will be going to a good cause and theres still a little favour on the table for people to keep

It's kind of the same thing really. As you can see from reactions here it's very 50/50 whether people are into the charity aspect of it let alone the favour bit which most seem to be not. If you have a figure, lets say its 300e I'd rather hear in a best mans speech that you'd donated the 300 to your charity of choice rather then put 70e worth of cheap Chinese toys on the table that will end up in the bin 2 months later when people clean out their cars.
Not to do a disservice to any particular charities trinkets which are used to generate revenue.

Minier81 · 03-09-2012 08:48AM

Wedding favours are a total gimic, I would leave them out. I'm not into flaunting my charity donations either though - most of mien friend made a donation to the charity of their choice but didn't bother putting signs on the table announcing it. Personally that the route I'll be taking.

Gatica · 03-09-2012 09:00AM

Dan82 wrote: »

If you want to give an amount of Money to Charity go for it and in a speech you best man could mention it but I'd leave it at that.

If you want your guests to know that you didn't forgo "favours" entirely, I'd go with the above. If your best man mentions it, don't think it would look as much as "look-at-me" as some people have suggested when you leave this info on the tables.

lazygal · 03-09-2012 09:38AM

I think favours are pointless and a total waste of money.

I don't agree with the best man giving a shout out approach either for a charity donation. No one needs to know you donated to charity. We gave some of the money we got as gifts to charity and a few friends who asked us what we wanted also donated. We didn't need to pat ourselves on the back about it. Quite frankly, the best man mentioning it smacks of looking for a pat on the back. People might not notice a note on the table about the donation, but to have the best man draw attention to what a generous donation the couple made? Just.....no. Total self congratulations.

HeyThereDeliah · 04-09-2012 10:23PM

Wedding favours is new to me and was not present at three weddings I was at this year. The donation thing it's not for everyone but you will never please everyone.Go with what you feel is right for you op.

Midnight Sundance · 04-09-2012 10:52PM

Was at a family members wedding and instead of favours they had Rehab scratch cards . The money goes to a charity and guests have a little fun.
Or what about getting a charity trolly key ring thing either? Guests have a favor and money goes to charity.

missyb · 05-09-2012 10:50AM

amdublin wrote: »

Maybe don't say you've made the donation in the guests name.

Just say "in lieu of wedding favours a donation has been made to a local charity"

I agree with this, I have never been to a wedding where it stated the donation was made in the name of anyone just that a donation was made in lieu of favours. I thought it was nice as it was an obvious charity for the couple in question and definitely relevant to their lives. But I didnt notice it evoking a strong reaction from anyone either way. I think couples state it so people know that they werent just being "tight"and wanted to spend favours money on something more meaningful that sweets. Not that I personally think its tight at all, i couldnt care less either way, Im not doing favours at all myself but people are very precious around weddings, so some get offended over favours, some get offended if there are none and some get offended if there are favours but its a charitable one, I guess its the couple trying to balance it all out. Do what you want to do, you dont have to do anything in anyones name, but if you want charitable favours go for it, someone will be contrary no matter what you choose, suit yourself!

cheerykar · 08-08-2013 06:36PM

I really like the idea of wedding favours and although they have changed down through the years, I really like the original tradition from where favours originated. Once upon a time five sugared almonds symbolising health, wealth, happiness, fertility and long life were given to the guests. While now a days anything counts as a favour, it is a nice way to put a personal touch to your wedding and they do not have to cost the earth. I intend to make mine for 230 guest totalling €45.

I think a donation to a charity is a nice idea, and as you are the one making the donation you are entitled to tell people you did so if you wish! You don't have to make the donation 'in the name of your guests', but just in lieu of favours. At a wedding recently I enjoyed learning a donation had been made to a charity instead of favours!!

Another thing to remember is that you will never please all of the people all of the time....

08-08-2013 09:58PM

I was at a wedding last friday, and its only just dawned on me while reading this thread that there were no favours- i didnt even notice, would i be right in thinking that the majority of people wouldnt notice/care if there were none on the table?
( i would have missed the wine though)

The Bishop Basher · 08-08-2013 10:05PM

Nobody cares about favours. Whether they are there or not, nobody cares.

January · 08-08-2013 10:30PM

A recent wedding I was at, they provided lovely candles as the favours... Nobody took theirs with them at the end of the night...

I'm starting to look at the charity donation favour in a bigger light now. I don't want to waste money on something nobody will take any notice of.

Wilberto · 08-08-2013 10:34PM

At my brothers wedding in January they had the exact same thing as in the OP. There was a nicely decorated card that had a picture of their Newfoundland on every table mentioning that instead of favours they're donating the money to the CSPCA or some animal shelter like that. It just makes more sense and it comes across as a lovely gesture too.

Uriel. · 09-08-2013 09:54AM

I was at a wedding this week and only after seeing this thread did I realise that there was no favours at the table - never once thought of them.

In my view they're pointless and an added expense (even if small) that really isn't needed.

solerina · 09-08-2013 01:59PM

I havnt seen favours at any wedding I have been to in years.. I have seen the card mentioning the donation to charity at a few weddings in recent years though !!
Favours are a waste of money...I like the idea of making something for the guests tho as one poster mentioned above !!

livinsane · 09-08-2013 02:54PM

Howabout giving flower seeds from a charity that you've donated to?

A friend of mine had sunflower seeds from the Cancer Society inside a little card saying they had donated to them. I was delighted because I love sunflowers and money had gone to charity. So everyone gone something. COPE do nastutium seeds each year for a donation.

I don't think giving money to charity is "look at me". Who even thinks like that? And I certainly would not be annoyed that the couple had made a donation to a charity on my behalf even if it was a charity I had no association with. That would say more about me than about the couple.

wedding favours

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