How to deal with bullys?

steddyeddy · 01-09-2012 06:41PM #1

No im not being bullied but according to an article in the Herald a partially deaf boy was bullied so much it caused him to take his own life. This isnt acceptable, every kid has the right to be happy and I dont think many would disagree on that point but many disagree on how to deal with bullies.

I think the vicitm should always tell the teacher but theres not always a lot that the teacher can do. Personally i think the vicitm should always stand up the the bully and I only enountered a bully in school once and giving him a right thrashing was the only way I wanted to deal with it.

Were you ever bullied and how did you deal with it? If not how would and do you think it should be dealt with?

floggg · 01-09-2012 06:47PM

TBH it's a pity naive to say the kid should always stand up for themselves.

Serious bullying generally occurs because, rightly or wrongly the victim feels unable to do so for whatever reason.

And it can be hard to stand up to a whole school at times.

El Guapo! · 01-09-2012 06:49PM

The only way to deal with it is to stand up for yourself. Sadly, some kids don't have the ability/confidence to stand up for themselves.
Usually telling teachers etc doesn't do much good as the "punishment" the bullies receive isn't enough of a deterrent and often, the kids being bullied are afraid to tell in case it makes things worse.
There should be a zero tolerance policy on bullying everywhere.

nbar12 · 01-09-2012 06:49PM

This is how...

Smcgie · 01-09-2012 06:51PM

Spell their title right and you will instantly earn respect

Ristiano Conaldo · 01-09-2012 06:52PM

Burst them

steddyeddy · 01-09-2012 06:52PM

floggg wrote: »

TBH it's a pity naive to say the kid should always stand up for themselves.

Serious bullying generally occurs because, rightly or wrongly the victim feels unable to do so for whatever reason.

And it can be hard to stand up to a whole school at times.

Oh I agree. For some it works though and I dont believe that telling a teacher is the only way.

shopaholic01 · 01-09-2012 06:53PM

It's very difficult to expel students now, impossible if they're under 16. The decision is now made by the board of management and can be appealed. I know parents who brought their child to a different school because of bullying.

Tragic case, it's awful to think that a teenager is made so miserable that death seems like a solution.

Jester252 · 01-09-2012 06:53PM

Would people be okay if a third party kid stood up to the bully or would the older kid be bullying?

TheBody · 01-09-2012 06:55PM

Bullies truely are a vile form of scumbag.

steddyeddy · 01-09-2012 06:55PM

nbar12 wrote: »

This is how...

That is feckin excellent!!!!

Fenian Army · 01-09-2012 06:56PM

I was bullied in school, was constant low level stuff so you couldnt really point to one big thing so felt I couldnt really report it (I should have). You tend to think that if you're not having your head shoved down the jacks you're not really getting bullied. Made school miserable for a long time.

Then one day I was walking to town and I saw the ringleader on his own and I just snapped, sprinted across the road and beat the living sh!te out of him

He tried to get his little gaggle of retards to get me back the next day in my estate, but I chased them off with a Hurley, after landing a few decent whacks to a few of their legs

Never had any trouble from them again.

Had a newfound appreciation for the GAA too!

It wasnt hurting them that did it, it was the fact I stood up for myself.

Kids should be educated better, at the time I didnt think I was being bullied, even though I was.

hardCopy · 01-09-2012 06:56PM

Kick them in the face!

steddyeddy · 01-09-2012 06:56PM

shopaholic01 wrote: »

It's very difficult to expel students now, impossible if they're under 16. The decision is now made by the board of management and can be appealed. I know parents who brought their child to a different school because of bullying.

Tragic case, it's awful to think that a teenager is made so miserable that death seems like a solution.

Thats what I mean. When I was in school it was a lot easier to expell a bully but nowadays some principals loath to do it!

ResearchWill · 01-09-2012 07:01PM

steddyeddy wrote: »

That is feckin excellent!!!!

Two sides too every story,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__IjcLVBBYc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Who was the bully and who was sticking up for themselves.

steddyeddy · 01-09-2012 07:02PM

ResearchWill wrote: »

Two sides too every story,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__IjcLVBBYc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Who was the bully and who was sticking up for themselves.

How dare you question my black and white/goodie and baddy style thinking!!

ResearchWill · 01-09-2012 07:03PM

steddyeddy wrote: »

How dare you question my black and white/goodie and baddy style thinking!!

Want to take this outside and I'll kick your ass

Abi · 01-09-2012 07:05PM

steddyeddy wrote: »

No im not being bullied but according to an article in the Herald a partially deaf boy was bullied so much it caused him to take his own life. This isnt acceptable, every kid has the right to be happy and I dont think many would disagree on that point but many disagree on how to deal with bullies.

I think the vicitm should always tell the teacher but theres not always a lot that the teacher can do. Personally i think the vicitm should always stand up the the bully and I only enountered a bully in school once and giving him a right thrashing was the only way I wanted to deal with it.

Were you ever bullied and how did you deal with it? If not how would and do you think it should be dealt with?

RIP to Darren, and condolences to his family.

I hope the people who bullied him feel this for the rest of their lives. I wish he had talked to someone, maybe he had briefly, but perhaps not about the the extent it had gotten to.

I was never bullied per se, but there was a girl with a smart mouth that would slag people off that weren't busy licking her hole and laughing at what she had to say. She turned her attention to me one day and while I'd be the last one to ever instigate a fight, I'd had enough of her picking on other people so I stitched her a loaf. She was in so much shock that someone stood up with her she just stood there holding her nose and her eyes watering. Of course she went back to being the way she was before to keep her 'street cred' or what have you :rolleyes: But she never said a word to me again.

I hate fighting of any kind, but it wasn't a bad situation between me and her, and felt I could sort that out myself. She needed a wake up call.

shopaholic01 · 01-09-2012 07:06PM

steddyeddy wrote: »

Thats what I mean. When I was in school it was a lot easier to expell a bully but nowadays some principals loath to do it!

I think most principals would be only to happy to expel a couple but they no longer have the power. Right to education, legal requirement to be in education until 16th birthday etc. The decision ultimately rests with the board of management after the school has exhausted it's discipline procedure. They must have valid grounds to expel a student and again it can be appealed.

In my friends experience it was easier to send their child to another school, but not all schools are able to take new students.

I also know one parent who took it upon themselves to stand up to the bully. It the bully had reported what had happened he would now be in jail, the bully however was too terrified and the bullying stopped:pac:. Risky approach, but an eye for an eye and all that!

hoochis · 01-09-2012 07:08PM

ResearchWill wrote: »

Two sides too every story,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__IjcLVBBYc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Who was the bully and who was sticking up for themselves.

The fat lad is not behaving like a bully and I very much doubt that he hit first. It looks very obvious to me who the bully in the video is.

steddyeddy · 01-09-2012 07:09PM

Abi wrote: »

RIP to Darren, and condolences to his family.

I hope the people who bullied him feel this for the rest of their lives. I wish he had talked to someone, maybe he had briefly, but perhaps not about the the extent it had gotten to.

I was never bullied per se, but there was a girl with a smart mouth that would slag people off that weren't busy licking her hole and laughing at what she had to say. She turned her attention to me one day and while I'd be the last one to ever instigate a fight, I'd had enough of her picking on other people so I stitched her a loaf. She was in so much shock that someone stood up with her she just stood there holding her nose and her eyes watering. Of course she went back to being the way she was before to keep her 'street cred' or what have you :rolleyes: But she never said a word to me again.

I hate fighting of any kind, but it wasn't a bad situation between me and her, and felt I could sort that out myself. She needed a wake up call.

Fair play to ya! I dislike fighting aswell but In my case it solved a problem! Im not trying to be sexist in relation to Darren but often men dont like talking about being victimised.

steddyeddy · 01-09-2012 07:14PM

shopaholic01 wrote: »

I think most principals would be only to happen to expel a couple but they no longer have the power. Right to education, legal requirement to be in education until 16th birthday etc. The decision ultimately rests with the board of management after the school has exhausted it's discipline procedure. They must have valid grounds to expel a student and again it can be appealed.

In my friends experience it was easier to send their child to another school, but not all schools are able to take new students.

I also know one parent who took it upon themselves to stand up to the bully. It the bully had reported what had happened he would now be in jail, the bully however was too terrified and the bullying stopped:pac:. Risky approach, but an eye for an eye and all that!

Yes Im not blaming the teachers at all. Im sure they would love to see bullies go! Violence is risky behaviour in regard to bullies but In my view it works.

ResearchWill · 01-09-2012 07:15PM

hoochis wrote: »

The fat lad is not behaving like a bully and I very much doubt that he hit first. It looks very obvious to me who the bully in the video is.

Did you watch the video, it's is claimed by the 12 year old small boy, the the 15 year old who looked a lot stronger had been picking on him. I do not know the truth of allegation and counter allegation but I am going to at least listen to both sides.

whelan1 · 01-09-2012 07:19PM

most bullies dont lick it off the ground its in the parenting, my son was constantly bullied for 4 years and after the school did nothing i confronted the parents- at this stage my son was having nightmares and wetting the bed due to this asshole- only to be manhandled by the father while i was 8 months pregnant, speaks for itself really

Abi · 01-09-2012 07:21PM

steddyeddy wrote: »

Fair play to ya! I dislike fighting aswell but In my case it solved a problem!

Thanks

What bothers me is a) fighting in the first place and b) well it's not very lady like. But some people are so stupid that they don't understand anything else. Her popularity in school meant much more to her than school itself. What bullies don't realise is, they won't be in school forever and they're preparing themselves for a life of failure. It was tough around when I was in school, I can only imagine how hard it is now.

Im not trying to be sexist in relation to Darren but often men dont like talking about being victimised.

No I don't think you're being sexist at all. The kind of bullying that goes on with females is different altogether, it was when I was at school anyway.

anncoates · 01-09-2012 07:24PM

Sadly the usual advice to hit a bully doesn't always work and get you a worse hiding. Doesn't matter if they're cowards. That stilll doesn't mean some of them are not harder than you.

If it was really bad and persistent, I'd either try and use a baseball bat or something or better still mob up a few mates to give them a hiding.

hoochis · 01-09-2012 07:28PM

ResearchWill wrote: »

Did you watch the video, it's is claimed by the 12 year old small boy, the the 15 year old who looked a lot stronger had been picking on him. I do not know the truth of allegation and counter allegation but I am going to at least listen to both sides.

Ya watched the whole interview. Size doesn’t really matter in cases of bullying. The bully won’t necessarily pick on someone smaller; they will look for someone who they think will not retaliate. The 12yo is acting very cocky in the video. Not the behaviour of a child being bullied!

the_syco · 01-09-2012 07:29PM

floggg wrote: »

And it can be hard to stand up to a whole school at times.

Guerrilla warfare is very effective when dealing with a faceless enemy (I learnt about the IRA's tactics at the right time in my life). Once you don't care if it makes them hate you more, and understand that there will be collateral damage (attacking the wrong person), and are prepared to do so until the problem goes away, it can be very effective.

Jester252 wrote: »

Would people be okay if a third party kid stood up to the bully or would the older kid be bullying?

Once the 3rd party kid goes away, the primary victim gets bullied again. Also, bullies often roam in small gangs of sh|tes, so even if you stop one, there'll be a number of sh|tes to contend with.

Feeona · 01-09-2012 07:29PM

I've often heard comments about teachers 'not doing anything' in school about bullying and thought I would post something about the reality of dealing with bullying. I have had several experiences of teaching children who told me they were being bullied/hassled. Some cases were genuine, in that the child had done nothing whatsoever to instigate a fight. Other cases were not so clear cut. I had a lady come in to me one day saying that her son had been bullied on yard the day before by another boy. On digging a bit deeper, it transpired that her son had instigated the whole thing by going up to the other boy (albeit a boy with a short fuse!) and calling him thick/stupid. So in that case her son had actually been the 'bully' without even realising it!

There are so many personalities on a school yard, I'd always be wary of saying 'A bullied B' without digging a bit deeper to find out what happened. I think it can be just as damaging labelling someone a bully unfairly as it can be to be bullied.

Fenian Army · 01-09-2012 07:30PM

the_syco wrote: »

Guerrilla warfare is very effective when dealing with a faceless enemy (I learnt about the IRA's tactics at the right time in my life). Once you don't care if it makes them hate you more, and understand that there will be collateral damage (attacking the wrong person), and are prepared to do so until the problem goes away, it can be very effective.

Once the 3rd party kid goes away, the primary victim gets bullied again. Also, bullies often roam in small gangs of sh|tes, so even if you stop one, there'll be a number of sh|tes to contend with.

Got a vision of a kid going around kneecapping bullies after reading that

ermahgerd · 01-09-2012 07:32PM

There's only so much guarding adults can do though, it won't actually help the kid in the medium-long term as, as soon as the adults are away and he/she is not in their protective bubble, the bullying will resume.

The only way to stop it is to take a stand and say "No". Doesn't matter if you get your ass handed to you in doing so either, the mere fact that you stand up to the person should bring it to a close and they'll move on and look for an easier victim.

How to deal with bullys?

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