Time For A Bit of Forum Feedback

iptba · 28-08-2012 05:06PM

awec wrote: »

There really is no "home" for an online dating thread on boards. TGC seems to have become the de facto home for it.

Maybe one or two people might agree, if it was thrown out, to be mods just for this thread? (not offering - I don't follow it)

awec · 28-08-2012 05:09PM

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Pawwed Rig · 28-08-2012 05:11PM

awec wrote: »

There really is no "home" for an online dating thread on boards. TGC seems to have become the de facto home for it.

I agree. Unless you throw it into After Hours or Relationship Issues?

fenris · 28-08-2012 05:11PM

I had high hopes for TGC initially, I was delighted that there was a forum that could be the male equivalent of TLL, but alas it was not to be!

At the moment it reminds me of somewhere between a couple of young lads having a whispered "man" chat, terrified that their mum will overhear them from the next room and going out to meet some old friends in the pub only to find that one of them has bought the new girlfriend who is completely convinced that she is "one of the lads" along.

The feeling is one of "Big Mother" watching (and I don't mean Sam34 or any of the girls) in the way that posters are self censoring and almost apologetic for being born with nuts. Growing a pair does not mean that you have to think with them and wave them about like a drunken leaving cert, it does mean that it is okay to have them and all that goes with it.

Going forward my thoughts would be to be a bit more like the TLL (ironic I know, but there you are) in that lads can be lads without asking their mum if it's okay.
Say what you mean or something completely irrelevant seeming that we all know means the exact same thing - just like down the pub with the lads.
If you step over the line and get a slap from a mod, figure out what happened and get over it, no bitching.
Sometimes we joke about the serious stuff and know that other people do too, that is how we deal with things sometimes without doing something drastic, knowing when to poke and not to poke is part of being a chap that sometimes does not translate well online.

This is not disneyland, launching anything contentious into Humanities is a cop out, if we wanted a bland and balanced politically correct discussion with no grammatical error unpunished, we know where to find it, it is the difference in intent between posting that "somebody left a crate of beer outside my house, what should I do?" in after hours or the legal forum.

We could have something good here, we just have to decide what it is.

iptba · 28-08-2012 05:12PM

awec wrote: »

I don't think the moderation of the thread is the issue.

But moderators probably still feel they have to look at it.

Quantity of posts to deal with can annoy mods I've found from some discussion forums I've been on.

If it doesn't need much moderation, people might be willing to help? Maybe I'm not being helpful - just brain-storming.

Dr Galen · 28-08-2012 05:12PM

One last point for the minute anyway, we are actively looking at getting some extra Mods on board. Things have gotten busier around here lately, both in terms of posting levels and the numbers of reported posts coming through.

I think that might help deal with a few of the other issues that have been raised.

awec · 28-08-2012 05:15PM

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Pawwed Rig · 28-08-2012 05:21PM

I thought it was pretty clear. Not to be talking for the poster but He is commenting that the chat is not what he would have with his male friends normally but more like the chat he would have with his male friends are with their girlfriends.

It is a point that has been made a few times here.

fenris · 28-08-2012 05:23PM

Thank you Awec, for that concise demonstration of my point.

awec · 28-08-2012 05:24PM

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iptba · 28-08-2012 05:24PM

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I thought it was pretty clear. Not to be talking for the poster but He is commenting that the chat is not what he would have with his male friends normally but more like the chat he would have with his male friends are with their girlfriends.

It is a point that has been made a few times here.

One way to deal with this would be to have a men-only subforum. It's not something I'm particularly pushing for, just saying that's one thing that would solve the problem.

Dr Galen · 28-08-2012 05:26PM

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I thought it was pretty clear. Not to be talking for the poster but He is commenting that the chat is not what he would have with his male friends normally but more like the chat he would have with his male friends are with their girlfriends.

It is a point that has been made a few times here.

And that's kinda what the forum was set up for and has been it's ethos from Day One.

We had BGRH for the more "manly grhhhhh" boorish humour and then tGC was the bit more serious, bit more refined big brother.

Nothing wrong in the slightest with BGRH and the type of thing I'm talking about above, I'm a big fan, in the right place and setting is all.

awec · 28-08-2012 05:44PM

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Pawwed Rig · 28-08-2012 06:02PM

awec wrote: »

The dating thread would last about 10 minutes in after hours before being destroyed, and I don't think it really belongs in RI given that it's not about relationships really.

It'll be a tough decision for the mods to make!

I don't visit after hours much

Put it in the thunderdome then

. Tough one alright.

CastorTroy · 28-08-2012 07:05PM

awec wrote: »

These are, IMO, along the same lines as threads in TGC. Some of those missing from TGC I'd argue aren't suited for here anyway (e.g. bullying).

If you don't mind me asking, why wouldn't a thread on bullying be suited for here? Or would it not be allowed for some reason?

yawha · 28-08-2012 07:31PM

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I thought it was pretty clear. Not to be talking for the poster but He is commenting that the chat is not what he would have with his male friends normally but more like the chat he would have with his male friends are with their girlfriends.

But not all guys like or want this. I personally don't have dramatically different kinds of discussions when I'm just with guys versus with guys and girls.

I think I understand what you want, but it seems that it would be more at home in BGRH, or maybe a "Lad" forum.

Pawwed Rig · 28-08-2012 07:47PM

yawha wrote: »

But not all guys like or want this. I personally don't have dramatically different kinds of discussions when I'm just with guys versus with guys and girls.

I think I understand what you want, but it seems that it would be more at home in BGRH, or maybe a "Lad" forum.

I was just 'translating' a previous poster for Awec which he didn't understand.

This is not my opinion although I can see the persons point

Liam McPoyle · 28-08-2012 08:03PM

CastorTroy wrote: »

awec wrote: »

These are, IMO, along the same lines as threads in TGC. Some of those missing from TGC I'd argue aren't suited for here anyway (e.g. bullying).

If you don't mind me asking, why wouldn't a thread on bullying be suited for here? Or would it not be allowed for some reason?

There was a big thread in here a while back on bullying that makes for an interesting read.

Im on mobile so can't search but it shouldn't be too hard to find.

CastorTroy · 28-08-2012 08:15PM

Necronos wrote: »

There was a big thread in here a while back on bullying that makes for an interesting read.

Im on mobile so can't search but it shouldn't be too hard to find.

Ah yeah, found it using the forum search

Dravokivich · 28-08-2012 11:12PM

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I agree. Unless you throw it into After Hours or Relationship Issues?

Couple of issue with this, the only topics that get handled seriously in AH, are serious topical discussions such as big news events around disasters, depression, suicide. Things that really touch you emotionally. Online dating doesn't.

Relationship Issues is not for engaging an ongoing discussion. 1 relationship issue for 1 person, 1 thread posted by them for advice from others who've had similar problems or seen the outcome of something likewise before. But then that's the end of it.

fenris · 28-08-2012 11:30PM

yawha wrote: »

But not all guys like or want this. I personally don't have dramatically different kinds of discussions when I'm just with guys versus with guys and girls.

I think I understand what you want, but it seems that it would be more at home in BGRH, or maybe a "Lad" forum.

I am not pushing for a men only forum, just making the point that if tGC is to be differentiated from a general lightweight open chit chat forum, then there has to be a difference in the direction that reflects male focused interaction dynamics.

As far as having different types of discussions when you are in mixed company, that will probably come in time and for good reasons. I don't
really like to trot out the cliche but here it is appropriate.

"If I have to explain, then you won't understand".

e.g. Who told you which urinal to use?

How to make "Crap weather" translate into "sorry to hear your dog died/wife fecked off with the postman, do you want help digging a hole?"

A forum focused on male type chat should not be something to be ashamed of or apologised for, much less turned into some kind of wishey washey politically correct makey uppy gender studies mangina land. There are plenty of other forums full of that stuff, we don't need another one.

It is not a zero sum game, a post in a male forum does not automatically mean that a post in a female forum is opressed.
Get over the male versus female thing.

What does matter is that we have a forum setup as a male chat area but cannot be used as such at the moment because everybody seems scared of what the girls might think, personally I think that the girls couldn't give a monkeys mostly and it should not matter if they did, pretty much like the way that tLL is run, if you are posting there then it is not by accident there is no implicit apology for being who they are and they get on with things be it having a laugh or giving supportive advice and If you don't like it then you can bugger off - simple!

In short, we need to decide what the forum is and run the forum accordingly, if you don't like it - grand, there are other forums. Currently posting seems like a bit of a lottery as to whether someone will shriek think of the children, jaysus no Ted, take your eccuminical matter off to humanities, nothing to see here. I know that several times I have types in a reply and then said "feck it, I don't need the grief" and not posted where as elsewhere I wouldn't have had a second thought.

I am trying not to be overly negative, I think that this forum has the potential to be a good thing and potentially very important to someone at the right time, therefore it is worth a bit of effort to stabilise the character of the forum into an entity in its own right.

iptba · 28-08-2012 11:41PM

fenris wrote: »

In short, we need to decide what the forum is and run the forum accordingly, if you don't like it - grand, there are other forums. Currently posting seems like a bit of a lottery as to whether someone will shriek think of the children, jaysus no Ted, take your eccuminical matter off to humanities, nothing to see here. I know that several times I have types in a reply and then said "feck it, I don't need the grief" and not posted where as elsewhere I wouldn't have had a second thought.

I am trying not to be overly negative, I think that this forum has the potential to be a good thing and potentially very important to someone at the right time, therefore it is worth a bit of effort to stabilise the character of the forum into an entity in its own right.

I thought the general rule that the "attitude" a thread would take its lead from the original post was a reasonable one to get different sorts of discussions. It was more to do with discussing or not discussing gender issues but maybe could be expanded a bit. Again I'm just brain-storming: I'm happy enough at the moment.

awec · 28-08-2012 11:46PM

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awec · 29-08-2012 12:10AM

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iptba · 29-08-2012 12:16AM

awec wrote: »

1. There are threads already around things like mens rights. These threads are the same people posting in them, soapboxing discussing amongst one another. These threads are not overly busy. This is nothing to do with how the forum is moderated, and more to do with the fact that there just isn't the interest for continued debate of these topics. The mens rights thread has no real end, it's a circular discussion. It gets boring quickly, hence the lack of posts.

I find plenty of other type threads boring. I simply don't go into them.

The Mens Rights thread is a bit of an anomaly - different issues are being thrown up (a lot of them by me): I don't know if it's a good way of doing things or not but I don't think it's causing major grief for anyone (except some people who might like censorship).

awec · 29-08-2012 12:19AM

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iptba · 29-08-2012 12:25AM

awec wrote: »

But the reason that it's not a busy thread is not because of the "fluff" threads, nor is it because of the moderation, nor is it because of the charter.

Just to be clear, I don't believe I've complained about other types of discussion in this forum discussion, nor used words like "fluff" or derogatory words*. I'm quite happy for them to exist or even flourish.

Forums are better than e-mail lists that way - on e-mail lists you tend to have to read all the messages (or it gets a bit complicated), but with the forum structure you only have to go into threads that interest you.

* I see in my last message I used "boring", but that was just to echo back your wording.

awec · 29-08-2012 12:29AM

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iptba · 29-08-2012 12:31AM

awec wrote: »

I wasn't specifically referring to you

Ok. Thanks.

I don't think there needs to be an either/or decision.

awec · 29-08-2012 12:41AM

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