Vegetarian Wedding

username123 · 28-08-2012 02:39PM

mhge wrote: »

Oh I'm not referring to feeding yourself, unless it's done as a demonstration; you mentioned leaving the wedding or skipping it. But then maybe my thinking is influenced by the fact that I only go to weddings of people I care about; I was never faced with an event where I had no personal/emotional interest and food etc would be of importance instead. I wouldn't go to such an event in the first place. But I wouldn't skip a close person't wedding or leave early no matter what would be served, played or announced.

But lots of people leave weddings for an hour here or there for a variety of reasons! To go to a cashpoint, to go to a chemist, to get a new pair of tights etc... Being invited to a wedding does not mean you have to stay within 10 feet of the bride and groom all day!

I often attend weddings of people where I have little emotional or personal interest out of politeness, perhaps I should just stop going.

And of course the food has an impact, its a full day event! If Im not getting fed properly Im not going to be happy no matter how much I love the person who is getting married!!

Pawwed Rig · 28-08-2012 02:41PM

mhge wrote: »

I would hazard a guess that with absolutely any menu there will be 10% of disappointed guests. We all have preferences and they are not as clean cut as meat vs no meat.

There is a difference between disappointed and hungry

mhge wrote: »

It doesn't need to be this particular issue at all, there are plenty of customs and guidelines at play even between two different families or social backgrounds, with food, dress, behaviour, entertainment and etiquette. And there are always guests who will suffer or leave because they don't like the music or need to watch their soccer finals.

I don't understand your point. If you goto a wedding in Ireland you know what you are getting as they are all essentially the same.
Customs and guidelines? Such as what? Wearing a white dress? Wedding cake?

Food dress behaviour?? They are all the same.

I think I agree with username. If I was told in advance that it was veggie only I wouldn't go. I would also be offended that someone would try to push their beliefs onto me.

Religion is a different think as that is the crux of the wedding (ie along with the civil signing it is the only important bit). The expectation after sitting through a ceremony, driving to hotel, hanging around while bride and groom get photos taken, hang around some more eventually sit down, the expectation is to have some choice in what you want to eat. They can have the most elaborate veggie menu in the world but I will see veg option and veg option.

Ehhh Excuse me waiter I have been given the wrong menu where's the beef.

As I said I would not consider a veg option a meal and at that stage I would need to sort out something else to eat and would at more expense (after hotel room €100, gift €200, dress for wife €50, petrol to and from wedding €30, day off work, money spent on drinks at reception €60) buy something from the hotel.

Daisy M · 28-08-2012 02:42PM

mhge wrote: »

Oh I'm not referring to feeding yourself, unless it's done as a demonstration; you mentioned leaving the wedding or skipping it. But then maybe my thinking is influenced by the fact that I only go to weddings of people I care about; I was never faced with an event where I had no personal/emotional interest and food etc would be of importance instead. I wouldn't go to such an event in the first place. But I wouldn't skip a close person't wedding or leave early no matter what would be served, played or announced.

Me too, but its amazing because either I have been very lucky or chosen the people I surround myself with carefully but I have never been invited to an event where the attitude was take it or leave it.

A poster mentioned in an earlier post about not been a doormat, but there is a difference between been considerate and been a doormat. Usually if I invite people to dinner and I am doing something a little different I will have a standby dish ready to cook just in case, this is because I value my friends and family and I want to do something nice for them and going out of my way to do so, is to me, no big deal. I have to say I experience the same type of treatment from them. There is a saying that you can judge a person by their friends so I must be doing ok!!

pwurple · 28-08-2012 02:43PM

Oh dear... it's battle of the meat-lovers. What has any of this got to do with the OP's specific question?

I think maybe we are a bit off track here. I'm sure OP knows their own guests.

username123 · 28-08-2012 02:48PM

pwurple wrote: »

What has any of this got to do with the OP's specific question?

holding wrote: »

Or just have some ideas as to what you would be happy eating (if you're a meat-eater) if you were attending a veg wedding?

Well I think the meat eaters are addressing the OP's question above - with the answer - we would be happy eating meat!

endacl · 28-08-2012 02:50PM

mhge wrote: »

A chipper run would be unbelievably rude... I can't imagine standing up and making a public issue out of the fact that the choice of meals is not to my taste, not to mention instigating some sort of mutiny over it.

And it will always be not to someone's taste, no matter what you serve - I don't know why some advocate catering to the meat and two veg taste as some sort of a golden standard; if you do that, you'll disappoint some more sophisticated foodies, or the other way round. People who want to be disappointed or rude will always find a way!

Wasn't a public announcement. Some of the lads were still hungry. One made a quick dart to the chipper. Burgers were scoffed outside. Nobody any the wiser. All happy. I didn't bother myself. Full of veggie lasagna. No meat option just doesn't suit everybody.

Jumping to conclusions might also be considered rude...?

The Bishop Basher · 28-08-2012 02:56PM

It's clear the OP doesn't want to engage in the discussion and I respect that choice just as I respect their choice to be a vegetarian. I think that's the crux of the issue here, respecting other peoples choices.

Sleepy · 28-08-2012 02:58PM

blatantrereg wrote: »

meat isn't a dietary requirement for anyone. Even low-carb atkins type diets that usually entail high meat consumption could easily be catered for - it's one meal for goodness' sake.

And a vegetarian meal isn't a dietary requirement for anyone* either. It's a personal preference.

This effectively boils down to a simple question for the OP in the context of a typical crowd of Irish wedding guests:

Do you want happy guests or do you want (possibly less) guests who are slightly unhappy at having to eat according to your (minority view) eating preference or are out of pocket having paid for something else and left the meal you've bought them uneaten?

It may not be a reality that some people like, but it's the reality of this country and no, it's no more bad manners from the guests in scenario A than it is from the host in scenario B.

flikflak · 28-08-2012 03:02PM

Mmmm a fully veggie/vegan wedding! A few ideas nicked from a few veg restaurants that might give you some ideas

Vegetarian starters
Crispy polenta with pesto, roast cherry tomato, kalamata olives, lemon mascarpone
Roast fig and blue cheese salad with rocket, walnuts, black olives and red onion
Apple, fennel and radish salad with blue cheese and celery tops
Beetroot & potato cake with poached eggs, horseradish hollandaise sauce

Vegan starters
Gyoza dumplings with mirin and soy dipping sauce
Tostada with grilled courgette and aubergine, lettuce, pico de gallo and guacamole
Hummous and babaganoush with chilli oil and chargrilled flat bread
Chargrilled roman style artichoke crostini

Suitable for both starter
Middle eastern meze with beetroot yoghurt dip, chilli feta dip, tabouleh, pepper stuffed baby aubergine, rice and mint filled vine leaf and flat bread

Vegetarian mains
Buffalo mozzarella, green pea, basil, mint and saffron risotto cake served with chargrilled pepper and courgette and creamy red pepper sauce
Pot roasted cauliflower with vintage cheddar sauce & wilted greens
Baby aubergine, chickpea and olive tagine served with pomegranate yoghurt, apricot and pistachio cous cous and flat bread (could also be vegan)

Vegan mains
Mixed mushroom, porcini and ale pie served with fries and mushy peas
Burrito filled with spicy black turtle beans, corn, red pepper and green tomatillo rice, topped with spicy sauce served with iceberg, , guacamole and pico de gallo
Mushroom & spinach strudel with red pepper sauce
Roasted celeriac with hazelnut potatoes and pear puree

Puds - suitable for both with dairy/egg subs being used
Baked apples with vanilla (soy) ice cream/cream
Peach tarte tatin with almond ice cream
Mango tofu cheesecake with mango compote
Raspberry and dark chocolate truffle

A few things there might help you out. Its so depressing to be served pasta or risotto as an option at a wedding. I hope you give your guests a right good exciting veggie feed up!!

pwurple · 28-08-2012 03:05PM

username123 wrote: »

Well I think the meat eaters are addressing the OP's question above - with the answer - we would be happy eating meat!

I'm a meat-eater too

I just feel a bit sorry for the OP, who didn't expect to have her thread hijacked I'd say.

Sleepy · 28-08-2012 03:07PM

flikflak, while I'd enjoy something from each course myself, can you really imagine that menu going down well at a wedding anywhere in the West of Ireland?

blatantrereg · 28-08-2012 03:08PM

Sleepy wrote: »

And a vegetarian meal isn't a dietary requirement for anyone* either.

Nobody said it was. You're the only person who said anything about dietary requirements. The rest of your post is just reiterating things that have been said a number of times already. Strongly disagree that it's bad manners to serve people a nice meal, but whatever.

Sleepy · 28-08-2012 03:09PM

pwurple wrote: »

I'm a meat-eater too

I just feel a bit sorry for the OP, who didn't expect to have her thread hijacked I'd say.

hijacked? Honestly, I thing the very fact the debate on the thread has been so contentious should tell the OP everything she needs to know: what's she's planning is a bad idea in the context of an Irish wedding.

pwurple · 28-08-2012 03:12PM

Sleepy wrote: »

flikflak, while I'd enjoy something from each course myself, can you really imagine that menu going down well at a wedding anywhere in the West of Ireland?

Sleepy in fairness... Do you think people in the West live in caves and have never seen cars or something? There are plenty of people in the Wesht who will have encountered this food.

You've made loads of assumptions about the OP's guests based on her location. She could be from anywhere, with family from... anywhere. You don't have any information on the guests at all.

Lollymcd · 28-08-2012 03:25PM

Not to get contentious but wondering will the OP be banning Guinness from the bar? It contains isinglass which is a animal product. Most wine also contains animal products too . . .

http://www.streetdirectory.com/food_editorials/beverages/alcoholic_drinks/animal_products_used_in_alcohols.html

strandroad · 28-08-2012 03:38PM

username123 wrote: »

But lots of people leave weddings for an hour here or there for a variety of reasons!

I am referring to leaving early which you mentioned earlier.

Sleepy · 28-08-2012 03:39PM

Well, being from Galway, the hippy-capital of Ireland, I'm well aware of most of the food. As I'm well aware to most Irish people's attitudes to it.

The OP has specifically stated:

It'll be a ruralish west of Ireland wedding so I thought I should avoid something too different from the usual wedding fare.

That sentence alone gives us enough of an idea of the crowd to make the guess that they're not likely to be an atypical group of Irish people where vegetarians and vegans are in the vast majority.

The vast majority of Irish people are carnivores. A significant minority of them would be put out by their dinner not having meat of some sort in it. Posters on this thread have said that if invited to be a guest at a vegetarian-food only wedding they'd either order from the bar menu (putting themselves out of pocket and leaving the food the OP paid for go to waste) or would decline the invite entirely. I've said in the thread that I wouldn't be in either group: I'd eat what I was served and see if I liked it or if there was something on the menu I'd tried before and enjoyed, I'd opt for that. I'm not a fussy eater. I know I'd end up being dragged for a burger or something between the ceremony and the reception by my other half however: because she is. And she closer represents the majority of Irish people's dietary preferences than I do.

blatent rereg wrote:

Nobody said it was. You're the only person who said anything about dietary requirements. The rest of your post is just reiterating things that have been said a number of times already. Strongly disagree that it's bad manners to serve people a nice meal, but whatever.

In any poll of Irish people you'd find a medium rare, aged fillet steak to be in the top 2/3 things listed in what constitutes a "nice meal". That still wouldn't make it good manners to serve it to a vegetarian.

It's just such a bad idea to try and force the issue imo. I just can't see how the OP would be doing anything but detracting from her wedding by going with a vegetarian-only menu choice.

pwurple · 28-08-2012 03:57PM

Sleepy wrote: »

I just can't see how the OP would be doing anything but detracting from her wedding by going with a vegetarian-only menu choice.

That's absolutely fair enough Sleepy, and I think the OP has probably gotten the idea at this stage... but you have 12 posts in this thread, and none has a receipe or menu suggestion other than, bad idea -> do meat, over and over.

Go wan... chuck in a nice starter idea in for the craic.

Pawwed Rig · 28-08-2012 04:03PM

pwurple wrote: »

Go wan... chuck in a nice starter idea in for the craic.

Chicken soup

to be fair, while it was not the OP's actual question this thread was always gonna turn out the way it did. Maybe the OP will realise what a bad idea it is or maybe all her friends are from the veggie association of Ireland

Quorum · 28-08-2012 04:10PM

Why not offer one meat main OP? Veggie starters, veggies desserts. Make the meat option a Marmite one, such as beef, then many meat eaters might be adventurous but won't feel like they are being pushed into it. Most meat eaters would have no problem with veggie starters. And sure, there are loads of great veggie desserts!

southsiderosie · 28-08-2012 04:16PM

username123 wrote: »

Yeah, you know the more I think about this, they more I wonder if we would go at all, if we knew in advance that it was veggie food only. Unless it was a very very close friend, probably not actually. Weddings are hugely expensive events to attend, so thinking about it, we'd probably decide to decline the invite.

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I think I agree with username. If I was told in advance that it was veggie only I wouldn't go. I would also be offended that someone would try to push their beliefs onto me.

These comments are really sad. If my friend is getting married, I don't really care what they are serving at dinner or at the bar - I am just honored to be asked, and look forward to sharing the couple's special day with them. If you are so put out by the food offered that you wouldn't go, I would have to question your friendship with the bride and groom.

Pawwed Rig · 28-08-2012 04:24PM

If you read the whole thread you will se the context for these statements and I think I have explained myself adequately. Yes it is an honour to be asked but for the married couple it is an honour for them that people will give up their time and money to celebrate the wedding with them. They do not show much concern for me if they are going to push their beliefs on me and not provide a meal that I would be inclined to eat.

But please read the whole thread before making a judgement like that.

username123 · 28-08-2012 04:53PM

southsiderosie wrote: »

These comments are really sad. If my friend is getting married, I don't really care what they are serving at dinner or at the bar - I am just honored to be asked, and look forward to sharing the couple's special day with them. If you are so put out by the food offered that you wouldn't go, I would have to question your friendship with the bride and groom.

Taken totally out of context. I said if it was a close friend Id go but tbh any close friend of mine wouldnt expect me (and especially my husband!!!) to eat a veggie dinner. It just wouldnt happen. My friends are considerate and inclusive. If a good friend did do veggie only then I would go and slip off between the ceremony and the official meal to eat (more my hubby than me - Im not that fussy re meat, although I cannot tolerate spicy food due to ibs) and most of the other invitees in the same group would do so also!!

Sleepy · 28-08-2012 05:07PM

pwurple wrote: »

That's absolutely fair enough Sleepy, and I think the OP has probably gotten the idea at this stage... but you have 12 posts in this thread, and none has a receipe or menu suggestion other than, bad idea -> do meat, over and over.

Go wan... chuck in a nice starter idea in for the craic.

Fair enough, for the craic, in the OP's shoes I'd have to go Italian. Their food suits vegetarian/vegan diets without having to change too much up and is common enough that it's far less likely to get Uncle Paddy's back up than Indian or Asian Cuisine.

Starter: Fresh Tomato & Basil Bruschetta on Ciabatta bread rubbed with Roast Garlic and Olive Oil. ( or Jamie Oliver's Italian Tomato & Bread Salad if a summer wedding)
Soup: Red Pepper and Potato Soup spiced with Smoked Paprika (could offer a small jug of cream on the side for vegetarians
Mains 1: Angel Hair Pasta Primavera (vegan friendly)
Mains 2: Portebello Mushroom Lasagne
Mains 3*: Tuna Steak with Roast Mediterranean Vegetables.
Dessert 1: Tiramisu (well, it was invented for weddings!)
Dessert 2: Pears poached in Spiced Red Wine if winter / Vegan Chocolate Torte if Summer

*Could be a silent option and due to the nature of the fish, it appeals to both carnivores and pescatarians.

That's how I'd do it: nothing overtly recognisable as "rabbit food" or "hippy falaffel nonsense". If you wanted to feed people a vegan/vegetarian meal without them noticing it's one, that's how I'd do it. Though i'd still order the Tuna

Daisy M · 28-08-2012 05:09PM

southsiderosie wrote: »

These comments are really sad. If my friend is getting married, I don't really care what they are serving at dinner or at the bar - I am just honored to be asked, and look forward to sharing the couple's special day with them. If you are so put out by the food offered that you wouldn't go, I would have to question your friendship with the bride and groom.

If a close friend or relative of mine was getting married and serving vegetarian food only I would still attend the wedding. Given the fact that we would have mutual friends out of who many would be like my husband not a big veg eater and also not too into sauces ect, I would be suprised that any couple I am friends with would be inconsiderate enough to insist this is the type of food served. Especially considering that when you attend a wedding aside from a rushed breakfast the first chance any of the guests will get to eat is at the wedding meal. My husband is a coeliac which limits him further. More and more people have food intolerances these days and these people will be even more limited and probably be lucky to have one course suitable to them.

strandroad · 28-08-2012 05:16PM

username123 wrote: »

Taken totally out of context. I said if it was a close friend Id go but tbh any close friend of mine wouldnt expect me (and especially my husband!!!) to eat a veggie dinner. It just wouldnt happen. My friends are considerate and inclusive.

In fairness, if you were close friends with vegetarians, why would you like them to break their personal or ethical issues for your convenience, surely you'd know in advance that it's important for them and you could be just as considerate and inclusive yourself? If I had close friends who are vegan and I knew that animal products bothered them so much, I wouldn't expect them to make it hard on themselves to accommodate me. And certainly not at their own wedding! Similarly if I was friends with very religious couple who do not support alcohol drinking I would not expect my pint when they throw a party... this I can get elsewhere.

username123 · 28-08-2012 05:23PM

mhge wrote: »

In fairness, if you were close friends with vegetarians, why would you like them to break their personal or ethical issues for your convenience, surely you'd know in advance that it's important for them and you could be just as considerate and inclusive yourself? If I had close friends who are vegan and I knew that animal products bothered them so much, I wouldn't expect them to make it hard on themselves to accommodate me. And certainly not at their own wedding! Similarly if I was friends with very religious couple who do not support alcohol drinking I would not expect my pint when they throw a party... this I can get elsewhere.

Youre going around in circles here.

If you have such strong ethical feelings then I suggest you dont hold a party to cater for 100-180 other people who have a different set of ethics regarding meat eating - its a recipe for disaster (pardon the pun).

And I would get food elsewhere. Or not go.

MadsL · 28-08-2012 05:32PM

Oh dear, just come back to this thread. Feel my bloodpressure rising.

Sleepy wrote: »

Or someone else's manners regarding respecting their guests dietary requirements.

Utter utter nonsense. I would not serve pork if I knew Muslim friends were attending, that is catering for a dietary requirement. Ignorant and backward attitudes to food I would not cater for.

username123 wrote: »

Yeah, you know the more I think about this, they more I wonder if we would go at all, if we knew in advance that it was veggie food only. Unless it was a very very close friend, probably not actually. Weddings are hugely expensive events to attend, so thinking about it, we'd probably decide to decline the invite.

Wow, just wow. Your friendship with this person is worth less than the menu for one meal. Speechless.

I personally dont see any bad manners in someone feeding themselves in the bit inbetween the ceremony and the meal btw - not sure why you keep mentioning manners? Plenty of people who will have travelled for a few hours to get there will take the opportunity to get lunch, tea and a sandwich or whatever during that part of the day. I once had to find a chemist during that part - bad manners? I dont think so.

And in full view of the bride and groom you would then do what with their hospitality? Refuse the food put in front of you? Utter ignorant crap, did your mother raise you to be this rude?

Sleepy wrote: »

hijacked? Honestly, I thing the very fact the debate on the thread has been so contentious should tell the OP everything she needs to know: what's she's planning is a bad idea in the context of an Irish wedding.

What she was planning is totally fine for a wedding, it appears not in the context of an Irish wedding according to this. Dear god, what year is it again?

Sleepy wrote: »

Well, being from Galway, the hippy-capital of Ireland, I'm well aware of most of the food. As I'm well aware to most Irish people's attitudes to it.

God forbid you should do something different in Ireland, seriously what is it with doing something even slightly different that has the Irish up in arms?

The OP has specifically stated:
It'll be a ruralish west of Ireland wedding so I thought I should avoid something too different from the usual wedding fare.
That sentence alone gives us enough of an idea of the crowd to make the guess that they're not likely to be an atypical group of Irish people where vegetarians and vegans are in the vast majority.

Yeah not like there are any traditional west of Ireland vegetarian dishes like Colcannon or anything, oh wait...

Actually...wait...I'm visualising a menu. "Homage to the Spud, a journey around the world.

Borscht (with a little extra spud to make it the highlight)
Rosti with a celeriac mousse.
Green salad with a small portion of potato salad
Colcannon, with a side of roasted vegetables and a red wine reduction.
Sweet potato pie with vanilla ice cream.

I'me being half-serious but show me an Irishman who would not wolf that down.

The vast majority of Irish people are carnivores. A significant minority of them would be put out by their dinner not having meat of some sort in it.

You know what. Here's the kicker They are not paying for it
and it is a wedding breakfast, not a blowout for a rugby club.

Posters on this thread have said that if invited to be a guest at a vegetarian-food only wedding they'd either order from the bar menu (putting themselves out of pocket and leaving the food the OP paid for go to waste) or would decline the invite entirely.

Goes to show you should be careful who you invite.

I've said in the thread that I wouldn't be in either group: I'd eat what I was served and see if I liked it or if there was something on the menu I'd tried before and enjoyed, I'd opt for that. I'm not a fussy eater. I know I'd end up being dragged for a burger or something between the ceremony and the reception by my other half however: because she is. And she closer represents the majority of Irish people's dietary preferences than I do.

Sad. Just sad.

In any poll of Irish people you'd find a medium rare, aged fillet steak to be in the top 2/3 things listed in what constitutes a "nice meal". That still wouldn't make it good manners to serve it to a vegetarian.

So the vegetarian is worthy of respect, but it is utterly beyond the realms of possibility that this veggie bride gets one meal that she selects and that cannot be show respect. Would you expect her to cook meat if she invited you to her home?

It's just such a bad idea to try and force the issue imo. I just can't see how the OP would be doing anything but detracting from her wedding by going with a vegetarian-only menu choice.

No-one is forcing anyone, lets say your friend invites you to dinner and picks a restaurant you haven't heard of. It turns out to be top-class Vegetarian restaurant. Would you ask the chef for a carnivore option? Would you slip out for a burger?

Jesus, these are vegetables not hallucinogenic drugs.

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

If you read the whole thread you will se the context for these statements and I think I have explained myself adequately. Yes it is an honour to be asked but for the married couple it is an honour for them that people will give up their time and money to celebrate the wedding with them. They do not show much concern for me if they are going to push their beliefs on me and not provide a meal that I would be inclined to eat.

Oh dear god, seriously. Why do you even go to weddings? Nobody is "pushing their beliefs" on you. Perhaps this just reminds you too much of being asked to "eat your vegetables" by your mother? Why not see it as a learning opportunity to get over your irrational fear of the absence of meat.

OP, I am really, really sorry that these utterly Neanderthal attitudes probably have you petrified about doing anything that isn't textbook 1970s Irish rural wedding.

I'd encourage you to make sure the food is the talking point because it is soooooooo good, rather than lacks meat. It is well worth going the extra mile. It would seem that the people here are demanding the usual cooked for 3 days piece of gray 'beef' and frozen salmon portions that usually get slopped out for these affairs.

To give you some encouragement, I had a open bar at our wedding. We had 15 countries represented and a good few Americans. It would be the height of poor taste to ask Americans to buy their own drink at a wedding, especially after paying for a flight over, so we had to go for an open bar.

I had Irish friends predicting mayhem, and vomit everywhere. Didn't happen.

The truth is people actually cop on to themselves, and behave when put in social situations, behind a keyboard is somewhat different.

Good luck with your wedding.

MadsL · 28-08-2012 05:33PM

username123 wrote: »

Youre going around in circles here.

If you have such strong ethical feelings then I suggest you dont hold a party to cater for 100-180 other people who have a different set of ethics regarding meat eating - its a recipe for disaster (pardon the pun).

And I would get food elsewhere. Or not go.

Oh, you have a moral code about eating vegetables?

Do tell me more....

strandroad · 28-08-2012 05:33PM

username123 wrote: »

Youre going around in circles here.

Because it is indeed a circular issue. It's a typical "after you, no after you" thing. For a perfect ending vegetarian hosts, caring for their guests, should suggest a meat meal option, and guests, caring for their friends, should say that on this particular day they will be happy with a veggie meal.

Vegetarian Wedding

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