Vegetarian Wedding

holding

We're hoping to have a vegetarian wedding that has 2 choices on the menu, one vegetarian, one vegan. All the hotels we've looked at (haven't actually chosen one yet) have said that that is no problem at all, which is great. A couple have got back to me with menus, and to be honest, the menus are really not great. For example, one offered veg soup, followed by goats cheese tart, followed by apple crumble (the vegan main option was aubergine stuffed with rice). The hotel we're hoping to have it at has offered a sit-down meeting with us and the chef, where we can discuss options. I'm a bit flummoxed as to what is considered 'formal' veggie food - the stuff I tend to cook myself to eat is too casual, like pastas and curries.

So have you ever had a veggie meal or option at a wedding dinner that was just awesome? Or attended a hotel that provided a fabulous wedding veggie dinner? Or just have some ideas as to what you would be happy eating (if you're a meat-eater) if you were attending a veg wedding? Sorry if this is in the wrong place, I wasn't sure if it should go in the weddings forum or the veggie forum, thanks

Daisy M

If you are a vegetarian then surely you would know what "formal" veggie food is, surely whe you go to a restaurant there must be standard veggie fare that you like?

I cant really understand why everyone attending your wedding must eat veggie food, surely it would be better to give people a nice choice and let them choose? Can you imagine going to a wedding where you were forced to choose a meat dish?

Sleepy

I can't see most Irish men not being a bit put out by not having the option of meat at a wedding. Something tells me you'll end up with guests sneaking out for a Supermacs.

A friend of mine had an asian stir-fry as the vegetarian option at his wedding and really enjoyed it at the tasting. He got a side order of the stir-fry with his meal but still went for the beef.

While I understand that many vegetarians take their beliefs very seriously, TBH, I think you're creating a rod for your own back in foisting that choice onto guests at your wedding. It's something I can see people remembering about a wedding in a poor light.

movingsucks

Hi holding,

This wasn't at a wedding but a restaurant I used to go to used to do big vegetarian spring rolls as one of their mains. I am a meat eater but I don't need to eat meat at every meal and I loved these. With the right sides or sauces it could be "formal" and "safe" enough for people to try?
Ratatouile is nice also.

I don't think there's anything wrong with serving a really good curry either but that's just me

Cellygirl

Have to say it wouldn't bother me at all going to a veggie wedding once the food was nice!

I'd fully understand that for their wedding two vegetarians would not want to eat meat and would want their day to reflect them as a couple. That'd be fine by me.

I'm not much help OP as I'm not a veggie, but I think maybe steer clear of the 'obvious'? Like say veg soup. Maybe have a roasted red pepper and tomato soup instead? Or a curried butternut squash soup? Just something a little more fancy?

For our wedding, the main vegetarian course we went for was 'Strudel of Five Spiced Bok Choi and Tofu served with spicy curry oil risotto of squash and pine nuts with fresh herbs.' It looked really nice though I didn't eat it myself, I had fish.

Would you consider a Caeser salad maybe? (No anchovies or bacon obviously) Or if you did eat fish, maybe a prawn and avocado salad with lovely soda bread or something like that? That'd more be a starter I guess.

Would you look up the menu of your fave restaurant and ask the chef to recreate a couple of dishes on that for you?

tinkerbell

Sleepy wrote: »

While I understand that many vegetarians take their beliefs very seriously, TBH, I think you're creating a rod for your own back in foisting that choice onto guests at your wedding. It's something I can see people remembering about a wedding in a poor light.

^ This. It is poor form to ram your own choices down your guests' throats. Ever watch Come Dine With Me? Usually when there's a vegetarian on it, they will cook a meat/fish option to please their guests. Those that insist on cooking a vegetarian option, the other dinner party guests always complain about it.

Also, every wedding I have been to, the bride & groom always try to accommodate everybody's dietary requirements by making sure that there's a vegetarian option on or for special dietary needs. Lots of people would not be happy getting served up a vegetarian meal and would see it as just a plate of vegetables and/or cheese. I say this coming from someone who eats everything from meat to fish to vegetarian dishes. Sometimes when we go out for dinner, I pick vegetarian options. And by the way, your two choices on the menu of "vegetarian" and "vegan" would mean just one thing to most of your guests - "they only have vegetarian on the menu", it's not even a choice. Most people would think they are the same thing.

I'd also like to add that the curried butternut squash soup is a better idea, veg soup is just ugh. But god stay away from anything with risotto in it. It's like marmite - you either love it or you hate it, I don't think there's an inbetween with risotto.

MadsL

Your wedding, your rules. Try and find an amazing veggie dish you want the chef to make though. Most hotels are very poor at veggie food. Beef or Salmon is the standard wedding fair.

Maybe ask the chef to make you both a lunch with their suggested Veggie/Vegan options. Don't be afraid to go talk directly to the (ask for the Chef de Cuisine) at the hotel, don't be fobbed off with the Banqueting Manager.

The Big Red Button

Personally I think it's a bad idea. Would you like to go to a wedding where there was no vegetarian option, and no possibility of getting a veggie meal?

In restaurants I've gone to, I've ordered the vegetarian option if it looks nice - but asked to have some chicken in it as well. I can see this happening at your wedding - that you'll have a lot of guests asking the waiting staff to put some meat in their meal. What happens then? Will you "allow" this? Are you happy to pay for this?

The people taking the time (and spending the money) to attend your wedding are your guests. It's very bad form, in my opinion, not to accommodate them. Whatever your reasons for your own diet are, I don't think that it's fair to force your diet on others.

ladypip

I think that people at your wedding should respect your beliefs and choices enough to understand why you want to have a vegetarian menu. NOBODY will complain to you on your big day but if anyone gives you stick they are really out of line.

Some Suggestions for you: Starters, Goats cheese salad or tart, waldorf salad, samosas with chutney, bruschetta, Butternut squash and chilli soup.

Mains Mushroom risotto, seasonal vegtable lasanga, vegetable tagine with couscous, Roasted vegetable and ricotta frittata.

I hope that helps

movingsucks

I just remembered at our work christmas party one of the starters was humus and pita bread. Nearly half our group ordered it and they weren't vegetarians

holding

Ladypip & Cellygirl, those sound like yummy suggestions. I will definitely take those ideas to the chef in the hotel that we're hoping to book.

Thanks Madsyl, I didn't realise there was a difference between the Banqueting Manager and the chef de cuisine, so I'll remember that and approach him/her directly

Movingsucks, good point re the sides. Having familiar sides, all the 'trimmings' etc, will make the meal seem less strange

The Big Red Button

ladypip wrote: »

I think that people at your wedding should respect your beliefs and choices enough to understand why you want to have a vegetarian menu.

And I think that, if people are taking the time out of their lives and spending the money to attend your wedding, you should respect their beliefs and choices, and do your best to ensure to accommodate them.

MadsL

chatterpillar wrote: »

Personally I think it's a bad idea. Would you like to go to a wedding where there was no vegetarian option, and no possibility of getting a veggie meal?

In restaurants I've gone to, I've ordered the vegetarian option if it looks nice - but asked to have some chicken in it as well. I can see this happening at your wedding - that you'll have a lot of guests asking the waiting staff to put some meat in their meal. What happens then? Will you "allow" this? Are you happy to pay for this?

The people taking the time (and spending the money) to attend your wedding are your guests. It's very bad form, in my opinion, not to accommodate them. Whatever your reasons for your own diet are, I don't think that it's fair to force your diet on others.

If you have strong veggie views, go for it. If you don't much mind, offer the option. A lot of the time I have made veggie food and people have failed to notice the lack of meat. If you don't make a big deal, neither will they.

blatantrereg

blergh hotels often have bad veggie options in their restaurants so I'm not that surprised.

Can you imagine going to a wedding where you were forced to choose a meat dish?

Not even the teeny tiniest bit similar to what the OP is doing.

A Quorn option (or other meat replacement thing) might be a good idea, to accommodate people who wouldn't ordinarily try veggie dishes, or wouldn't know what they might like.

Stir fry with/without tofu, indian curries, nice salads, pasta dishes, omelettes. Loads of things. I am a vegetarian though.

Daisy M

ladypip wrote: »

I think that people at your wedding should respect your beliefs and choices enough to understand why you want to have a vegetarian menu. NOBODY will complain to you on your big day but if anyone gives you stick they are really out of line.

Some Suggestions for you: Starters, Goats cheese salad or tart, waldorf salad, samosas with chutney, bruschetta, Butternut squash and chilli soup.

Mains Mushroom risotto, seasonal vegtable lasanga, vegetable tagine with couscous, Roasted vegetable and ricotta frittata.

I hope that helps

MadsL wrote: »

Your wedding, your rules. Try and find an amazing veggie dish you want the chef to make though. Most hotels are very poor at veggie food. Beef or Salmon is the standard wedding fair.

Maybe ask the chef to make you both a lunch with their suggested Veggie/Vegan options. Don't be afraid to go talk directly to the (ask for the Chef de Cuisine) at the hotel, don't be fobbed off with the Banqueting Manager.

Seriously this is exceptionally poor form. People go out of their way to attend weddings and usually at considerable expense. If I was invited to a wedding where the bride and groom had a take it or leave it attitude I would leave it. People are attending the venues of your choice, going on the day you choose, listening to the music you choose and all at a time you choose, surely they deserve some consideration when it comes to what is served?

Personally I often choose the vegetarian option at a wedding as it sounds tempting and also can be lighter than a meat dish, however I know a lot of people who would go hungry rather than eating a meal they dont like. You will probably lose some of your guests to the nearest fast food joint later in the evening if they dont get a meal they like. I would be of the opinion that having a choice of vegetarian and normal dishes would be best but you could also have one totally vegetarian starter.

southsiderosie

OP, I'm not sure where you are holding your reception, but it might be worth looking into Chinese or Indian banquet halls for your reception. South Indian food is all vegetarian, and a lot of Chinese can be prepared without meat. And if you have a 'traditional' banquet-style meal (i.e. somewhere around 20 courses), there will be so much food that your guests may not even notice that there are not meat options. Just a thought.

Italian restaurants that serve family-style meals can be an option too.

strandroad

Cafe Paradiso in Cork is an upmarket veggie restaurant (as opposed to the more casual veggie eateries), you can get some ideas from their menus (www.cafeparadiso.ie). I agree that goat cheese tart/mushroom risotto are very boring options at this stage!

I understand how a couple who are very conscious of their treatment of animals would not want to have them on their conscience because of the wedding; with a good, satisfying menu your guests should not feel deprived and frankly speaking, it would be rude to comment on your choice of menus.

holding

southsiderosie wrote: »

OP, I'm not sure where you are holding your reception, but it might be worth looking into Chinese or Indian banquet halls for your reception. South Indian food is all vegetarian, and a lot of Chinese can be prepared without meat. And if you have a 'traditional' banquet-style meal (i.e. somewhere around 20 courses), there will be so much food that your guests may not even notice that there are not meat options. Just a thought.

That's a great idea. That's the kind of food I eat when I go out to restaurants etc myself. It'll be a ruralish west of Ireland wedding so I thought I should avoid something too different from the usual wedding fare. But maybe I'm underestimating the guests - an Indian food reception would be really yum! Thanks for the inspiration

holding

mhge wrote: »

Cafe Paradiso in Cork is an upmarket veggie restaurant (as opposed to the more casual veggie eateries), you can get some ideas from their menus (www.cafeparadiso.ie). I agree that goat cheese tart/mushroom risotto are very boring options at this stage!

I understand how a couple who are very conscious of their treatment of animals would not want to have them on their conscience because of the wedding; with a good, satisfying menu your guests should not feel deprived and frankly speaking, it would be rude to comment on your choice of menus.

Wow that menu is full of delicious options! Might well just print this out and take it with me when we visit the hotel kitchen! Thanks a million.

ladypip

chatterpillar wrote: »

And I think that, if people are taking the time out of their lives and spending the money to attend your wedding, you should respect their beliefs and choices, and do your best to ensure to accommodate them.

Im sorry but really??? Should she change religion for her muslim friend or have a civil partnership ceremony to please her homosexual friends, that is how I see her beliefs.

Im not a vegetarian but I really feel strongly that people should embrace a couples beliefs, traditions & life style choices to celebrate their wedding. Im a sure that as a vegetarian the op has had to sit through a fair few crappy meals to please her carnivore friends. At least she is putting some thought into trying to please her guests.

Tescosolvakia

Holding,

There's a channel 4 programme called river cottage veg and the chef catered for a vegetarian wedding on the request of the bride & groom but without the knowledge of the other guests- all the guests were happy with the result. It should be available on channel 4 on demand or online. Many veg when cooked right can have the consistency of meat such as roasted peppers and mushrooms can carry alot of flavours that would normally be used with meat so the flavour will still be there.

I was a vegan for a long time & my partner was a vegetarian, when I did the food shopping I would not buy dairy as I didn't want my money to contribute to the dairy industry so I understand why a huge portion of the budget so go towards something s/he is ethically against, nor would it be fair to expect so either.

I can't link River Cottage Veg cos I'm on my phone but I do believe they also showed an Indian vegetarian wedding in the same episode which looked amazing as the food was cooked in front of the guests and was entertainment in its own right.

All the best & congrats

holding

That sounds wonderful, thanks for the rec, I'll check it up on the 4player now If only HFW was the chef at my wedding, haha!

Daisy M

ladypip wrote: »

Im sorry but really??? Should she change religion for her muslim friend or have a civil partnership ceremony to please her homosexual friends, that is how I see her beliefs.

Im not a vegetarian but I really feel strongly that people should embrace a couples beliefs, traditions & life style choices to celebrate their wedding. Im a sure that as a vegetarian the op has had to sit through a fair few crappy meals to please her carnivore friends. At least she is putting some thought into trying to please her guests.

People have lots of different beliefs, it doesnt mean they need to incorporate them into their wedding day, it would be a tad silly if they did. As I said previously people are attending the venue of a couples choice on their chosen day and time is that not enough embracing or should guests attending a wedding expect a day of been dictated to?

Op I do acknowledge that you are putting a lot of thought into this and I would def eat most of the options given to you they sound yummy. I have given my opinion and I am going to leave it at that!! Fair play to you, you are not getting into all the squabbling the rest of us have:). I suppose I am just trying to give you an opinion that many of your guests may share so be prepared. Best of luck!!

blatantrereg

holding wrote: »

That sounds wonderful, thanks for the rec, I'll check it up on the 4player now If only HFW was the chef at my wedding, haha!

Post a link if you find it please

edit: Here it is: http://www.channel4.com/programmes/river-cottage/4od#3276321

holding

mhge wrote: »

Cafe Paradiso in Cork is an upmarket veggie restaurant (as opposed to the more casual veggie eateries), you can get some ideas from their menus (www.cafeparadiso.ie). I agree that goat cheese tart/mushroom risotto are very boring options at this stage!

You've also reminded me that I have a copy of the Cornucopia cookbook - they have a similar imaginative ethos to Cafe Paradiso I think - I wonder would the chef be annoyed if I brought the book with me! Love eating there, it's always so tasty and varied.

The Big Red Button

ladypip wrote: »

Im sorry but really??? Should she change religion for her muslim friend or have a civil partnership ceremony to please her homosexual friends, that is how I see her beliefs.

WTF?! Neither of your examples are comparable! At all! The ceremony itself is between the OP and his/her fiancé(e) - I honestly don't even understand what point you're trying to make here?!

ladypip wrote: »

Im not a vegetarian but I really feel strongly that people should embrace a couples beliefs, traditions & life style choices to celebrate their wedding. Im a sure that as a vegetarian the op has had to sit through a fair few crappy meals to please her carnivore friends. At least she is putting some thought into trying to please her guests.

Oh, so it's payback, that because (s)he's had to sit through sub-standard meals as a result of being vegetarian, it's understandable to put guests through the same?

I'd actually understand it more if the OP was a real "foodie" type, and had some great ideas for food for the guests. But it honestly doesn't seem that way, at all.

The facts are that hotel wedding food isn't usually great - and that the vegetarian courses are even worse! Why put guests through that?

If your concerned about the animals - bear in mind that, if the guests hadn't taken the time to attend your wedding, chances are they'd have been eating meat anyways. So it's not like more animals are being killed just for this occasion - your conscience is clear.

I don't even eat all that much meat myself, tbh. But I think it's only right to respect the choices of others - and especially when they're your guests.

strandroad

In fairness, the OP is trying to find great menus. And even if you serve meat, you won't please everyone - you will have a meat and two veg brigade, a haute cuisine brigade and a fast food brigade and someone will always prefer something different to what they are offered. The couple may just as well go with their beliefs.

artyeva

op, that menu from paradiso looks divine. i've had some awful disasters of vegetarian meals at irish weddings over the years - i wish some hotels would take it a bit more seriously and not lob it onto the menu as an after thought.

and ignore the people who are anonmously giving out to you here for choosing to serve what you want on your wedding day!!!! do people really think that they have the right to be ''offended'' or ''put out'' that for one day out of their life there's no maaaaaaate on their plate?!! it's hardly going to kill them :rolleyes:

blatantrereg

chatterpillar wrote: »

I think it's only right to respect the choices of others - and especially when they're your guests.

Do you see how you are being ironic saying that?

Would you expect Muslims or Jews to serve pork, or Hindus to serve beef?

You dont need meat to make nice food (or to make food nice).

pwurple

I see someone else has suggested ideas from cafe paradiso... This is hands down my fav restaurant in Cork City, and I am not a vegetarian by a long shot. However, that chef has had decades of practice with veg selection and cooking, and you are hoping for a one off with yours. I would be nervous.

Would your venue be agreeable to you using outside caterers? There are bound to be some wedding caterers that can be reccomended by the people in cafe paradiso.

niallu

I definitely wouldn't be happy with this.

Everybody is entitled to there beliefs / own choices so vegetarianism shouldn't be forced on all of the guests.

Reminds me of the show come dine with me. If I went out of my way to cook 2 dishes( one for a veggie & one for the carnivores) and in return if the vegetarian cooked me a dish without meat it would definitely be a zero point for them!

pwurple

Still thinking about the desserts that caf paradiso does. Amazing stuff.

What the heck was up with that apple crumble option you were given, sheesh, dessert is where vegetarians shine. Jelly is all you need to avoid and as fun as a bowl full of jelly is, I've never seem it on a wedding menu yet!

ladypip

chatterpillar wrote: »

WTF?! Neither of your examples are comparable! At all! The ceremony itself is between the OP and his/her fiancé(e) - I honestly don't even understand what point you're trying to make here?! QUOTE]
Arent they?, Id say most vegetarians beliefs are as important to them as religion or sexuality. The point I was making (not trying) was that if people are going to the op's wedding to celebrate her marriage they should respect her beliefs are go veggie for a day.


Oh, so it's payback, that because (s)he's had to sit through sub-standard meals as a result of being vegetarian, it's understandable to put guests through the same?

I never said that it was payback. What i did say was that im sure the op has gone to meals where everyone around her was eating meat and she dealt with it in order to celebrate whatever occasion she was attending. Her friends and family should show her the same respect.


I'd actually understand it more if the OP was a real "foodie" type, and had some great ideas for food for the guests. But it honestly doesn't seem that way, at all.

The facts are that hotel wedding food isn't usually great - and that the vegetarian courses are even worse! Why put guests through that?

Thats presumably why she is asking for helpful suggestions.

ladypip

apologies for my horrendous multi quote skillz

KDII

This would be a great thread to start over in the vegan and vegetarian forum if something similar hasn't already been done. Would be a good reference point for having dinner parties etc with vegetarian guests attending.

I am a vegetarian and find people don't miss meat from a well balanced meal. It's one meal in their life and surely a break from the usual hotel wedding fare would be welcomed.

Something like a nicely done curry if presented nicely could definetely be formal and easy enough to prepare for a large group.

I think including veggie and vegan choices is a lovely personal touch to your day.

F1ngers

There is a vegan/vegetarian forum here, http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=572

They may have other options/advice.

artyeva

all this talk about beliefs in this thread though - i wonder where it's coming from? i certainly don't get the idea from the op that because they want to serve veggie/vegan food they'll also be setting it up as some sort of political statement against meat

i often think meat eaters have this rather overly-defensive idea of vegetarians or vegans having 'beliefs' or trying to 'convert' people, where a lot of the time it couldn't be further from the truth. i know a lot of vegetarians and never has one of them ever even hinted at words like 'beliefs' or used the word 'shouldn't' in relation to my choices as to what i eat. food is food. food is vegetables, grains, pulses, nuts, seeds, herbs, spices, pastas, rices, fruits, and yeah - meat. good grief what a narrow experience it would be to go through life if you get so het up that a meal that someone serves you at THEIR wedding has to be meat and veg and spuds... or what? will the sky fall in? will people drop dead because for one day they get vegetable protein and not animal protein?

MadsL

Daisy M wrote: »

Seriously this is exceptionally poor form.

I'm sorry, let me be blunt, but it isn't. Poor form would be expecting guests to pay for the food. If I invite you to my home and I cook you a vegetarian meal am I showing poor form or bad hospitality by not offering you meat? A wedding is an extension of that home hospitality.

People go out of their way to attend weddings and usually at considerable expense.

Not because they care about their friends?

If I was invited to a wedding where the bride and groom had a take it or leave it attitude I would leave it.

vegan or vegetarian, there is a choice

People are attending the venues of your choice, going on the day you choose, listening to the music you choose and all at a time you choose, surely they deserve some consideration when it comes to what is served?

Do you phone your order ahead when you go to a friend's house for dinner?

Personally I often choose the vegetarian option at a wedding as it sounds tempting and also can be lighter than a meat dish, however I know a lot of people who would go hungry rather than eating a meal they dont like.

This is Vegetarian food, not some weird concoction. Y'know vegetables and stuff? With a choice.

You will probably lose some of your guests to the nearest fast food joint later in the evening if they dont get a meal they like.

Oh please, if they are that shallow, stop trying to put 'the fear' into this bride. What nonsense. Serve plenty of spuds and they will get eaten.

I would be of the opinion that having a choice of vegetarian and normal dishes would be best but you could also have one totally vegetarian starter.

Best for whom, this is their wedding, their taste, their day.

chatterpillar wrote: »

The facts are that hotel wedding food isn't usually great - and that the vegetarian courses are even worse! Why put guests through that?

Then make sure it is good food. If necessary get a great Veggie chef for the day to oversee the brigade on the day.

If your concerned about the animals - bear in mind that, if the guests hadn't taken the time to attend your wedding, chances are they'd have been eating meat anyways. So it's not like more animals are being killed just for this occasion - your conscience is clear.

Don't even know where to begin with the moral double-think here.

I don't even eat all that much meat myself, tbh. But I think it's only right to respect the choices of others - and especially when they're your guests.

Grand, I only eat McDonalds; will you let me bring a takeway with me to your wedding please?

Some people here are really confusing hospitality with being a doormat.

MadsL

Compare;

We are having a veggie wedding...
OMG, wtf forcing us, where's the beef or salmon..???!!! @$@%$@%!!!..

The food will be a Mediterranean theme, Minestrone soup, Truffle Risotto, Cucumber and mint sorbet, Roasted vegetable lasagna with vegan ricotta, soy panna cotta with amaretto infused maple syrup.*
OMG, sounds yummy!

Don't mention the V word.



* I actually like that menu, not bad for top of the head.

ladypip

Thats a winner of a menu!!!

artyeva

jaysis madsl, the op should hire YOU, that sounds amazing!

MadsL

artyeva wrote: »

jaysis madsl, the op should hire YOU, that sounds amazing!

*blush*

All how you say it...

The airfare would be a killer for her sadly, and I'd insist on Business

I did actually think about wedding planning for a while, but the thought of the Bridezillas put me off.

I thought there was room for a more of an overseer than planner. Suggesting rather than planning. And then on the day making sure 'behind the scenes' were not screwing the couple, correct wine served at the correct temp, food up to scratch, wait staff being polite and competent and not slopping it out, if a free bar was used that they were not getting charged for drinks not poured. That type of thing.

Dolbert

You have to laugh at some of the reactions here... do people think they're going to collapse from having one meal with no meat? It's not gonna kill you FFS!

MadsL

Dolbert wrote: »

You have to laugh at some of the reactions here... do people think they're going to collapse from having one meal with no meat? It's not gonna kill you FFS!

Shhhhh! It's not a veggie wedding. It's a "Symphony of Tuscany". 70% of the people afterwards would not be able to tell you if there was meat in the lasagne or not.

Sleepy

MadsL, I think you're being a bit delusional if you think the absence of meat from a lasagne would be un-noticeable or that Uncle Pat's first reaction to a menu like the above wouldn't be "where's the feckin' beef?" before asking the waitress for some "proper food". While I think that personally I'd enjoy that menu I'd be worried about having it for a wedding for a couple of reasons:

1) The cooking staff in a hotel kitchen are unlikely to be experienced with the food. Possibly less of a problem in a high-end "foodie" venue like Village of Lyons etc. but more normal wedding venues where they rarely stretch beyond salmon and over-cooked beef may find it a challenge to carry off well. The suggestion of outside caterers is a good one, but it might be very expensive. Perhaps choosing a menu from the River Cottage Veg Every Day book and presenting the hotel chef with it would help with this?

2) Even at that, a lot of the older generation in Ireland are still very much in the "meat and three veg" mindset when it comes to food. The Uncle Pat's and Aunt Mary's of this country won't be happy with a vegetarian menu. And while you'd like to think we've progressed as a nation, I'm afraid a lot of our own generation don't think that dissimilarly.

3) Rude or not, it will result in some guests popping into the hotel bar for a burger/carvery or, worse, heading down the road in search of a chipper (depending on the location). Could lead to a somewhat sparser dance floor than one might like for a while.

4) Many omnivores actually find it rude of a vegetarian not to offer a meat option since, however poor the kitchen may be at executing it, there is always a vegetarian option at a wedding. The "if I can cater for them, why they hell can't they return the courtesy" factor comes into play here. As seriously as many vegetarians and vegans take their beliefs regarding meat they'll never be taken as seriously as someone's religious beliefs by society at large, particularly when a look at one's teeth "proves" that human beings were "designed" to be omnivorous and science would seem to suggest that our evolution to a point where we as a species can conceive of the notions of right and wrong was due, in part, to the high protein diet eaten by our ancient ancestors when they learned how to hunt. (even if you take issue with either of those supporting "facts", they're widely held as proof of meat eating being the "natural order" and most people don't want to be convinced of the contrary).

Maybe a good compromise between your beliefs and being a good host might be to cater to the omnivores in your guests in the same fashion you normally get catered to at their weddings and have a "silent" option for the main involving beef or chicken?

seamus

As has been said, and as MadsL points out, it's the not equivalent of a veggie being forced to eat meat at a wedding, since omnivores can and do still eat vegetarian food.

It's just in Ireland we have this archaic notion that if a meal doesn't have meat in it, then it's not a meal.

On one hand I agree that as guests are coming to your wedding, you have something of an obligation to ensure that they are catered for.

On the other hand, if the couple's vegetarianism is important enough that they feel it's part of their identity, then it's perfectly appropriate that the meals served reflect that. It's not "bad form" at all, since the guests are being catered for. If someone thinks that you must have meat in a meal, then that's their problem tbh - they are being catered for, since they are being served a meal that they can eat. If Paddy and Biddy are upset there's no beef in their nutritionally complete and delicious meal, then fnck them, quite frankly. Complaining that there's no beef in the meal is about as valid as whinging that you would have preferred roast spuds over boiled ones.

Ultimately you can't cater for everyone and there will always be people who won't eat beef or fish or veggie or whatever and will go look after themselves.

TL;DR - If having veggie meals is idealogically important enough for you, then bull on. Your guests are being served full meals and you can't please everybody all of the time. Get the meals right and most guests will rave about how delivious they were and how surprised they were that it was so good. A handful will bitch about there being no meat, but not to your face. So why care?

FWIW, we went with a chicken or fish choice at ours despite being vegetarian. Usually they'd add on a veggie supplement to have a third option, but as we had a large number of veggies at our wedding (a quarter of the guests), they gave them to us at no extra cost provided that we nailed down the numbers rather than leave it as an open choice.
In hindsight I think we should have gone with a chicken or veggie option, as it would have made things cheaper and simpler.

endacl

Daisy M wrote: »

If you are a vegetarian then surely you would know what "formal" veggie food is, surely whe you go to a restaurant there must be standard veggie fare that you like?

I cant really understand why everyone attending your wedding must eat veggie food, surely it would be better to give people a nice choice and let them choose? Can you imagine going to a wedding where you were forced to choose a meat dish?

I've been to that wedding. One of the lads did a chipper run after the speeches. Seriously.

Esmereldina

The responses to the idea of a vegetarian wedding are slightly crazy! Seriously, do people really eat meat for every meal, every day? I'm veggie but my fiance is not, and we won't be having a veggie wedding - if it is important to you though, I don't see why you shouldn't do it. As long as the food is good, people shouldn't really notice the lack of meat!

I think the problem is the 'vegetarian' label - call it a vegetable based meal and maybe people will have less of a problem? Or as someone else was suggesting give it a theme, like mediterranean food instead of calling it simply vegetarian. The mediterranean theme is a good one and loads of yummy veg options there - Jamie Oliver's Italy book has loads of veggie options - for crostini and bruschetta (loads of different veg options ie artichoke, courgette etc rather than just the boring usuals involving goats cheese or hummus) and also for risotto. I love risotto but I know it can be seen as a bit boring over here - some variations on the usual risotto options might be roasted artichokes or roast mushrooms and truffle, or pesto. I'm also really liking the River Cottage veg cookbook - loads of great suggestions in there.

Do be careful enough when choosing hotel too though as so many veg options are lazy and horrible, even in nicer restaurants. I'm a foodie veggie and I do get bored of endless goat's cheese tartlets and badly cooked bland veg ravioli!

Sleepy

Esmereldina wrote: »

The responses to the idea of a vegetarian wedding are slightly crazy! Seriously, do people really eat meat for every meal, every day? I'm veggie but my fiance is not, and we won't be having a veggie wedding - if it is important to you though, I don't see why you shouldn't do it. As long as the food is good, people shouldn't really notice the lack of meat!

I think the problem is the 'vegetarian' label - call it a vegetable based meal and maybe people will have less of a problem? Or as someone else was suggesting give it a theme, like mediterranean food instead of calling it simply vegetarian.

I'm afraid most people do eat meat with the vast majority of meals. A "theme" or different label won't change the absence of meat in the meal.

Like I've said earlier in the thread, I'd have no problem with it. Done well, vegetarian food can be fantastic (I'd be a huge fan for a simple tomato and basil bruschetta with decent bread and olive oil) but I know lots of people, my other half included I'm afraid to say, who'd consider a meal without some sort of meat to be rabbit food and who'd end up getting involved in a "chipper run" as endacl called it.

evilmonkee

It's YOUR wedding. If you want to serve all veggie then thats what you do!

Your guests should be there to celebrate your special day. If they're so self centered to b!tch and moan about not having meat in their (free) meal, then do they really deserve to be there? Or do you really care if they do?

In my experience people will be amazed that veggie food can be delicious and most comments you'll receive will be related to how good it was.

Also, I would recommend chachouka served individually, its sooooo good!

Oh or you could go Indian style and have the food prepared on front of the guests to create some drama around the food. Served in mini portions so you get a little of each rather than X courses. Its pretty traditional Indian style of cooking for weddings, banquets etc.

Disclaimer: I do eat meat, however I do not see the need to have meat in every meal!

strandroad

A chipper run would be unbelievably rude... I can't imagine standing up and making a public issue out of the fact that the choice of meals is not to my taste, not to mention instigating some sort of mutiny over it.

And it will always be not to someone's taste, no matter what you serve - I don't know why some advocate catering to the meat and two veg taste as some sort of a golden standard; if you do that, you'll disappoint some more sophisticated foodies, or the other way round. People who want to be disappointed or rude will always find a way!