Vegetarian Wedding

Pawwed Rig · 28-08-2012 01:16PM

I would imagine the OP is going to put the hotel staff in a difficult situation with an all vegetarian menu. Personally I would not eat a meal where another persons values were being forced on me and tbh if there is no meat in it I would not consider it dinner (personal opinion).
In that situation I would not make a fuss but would ask the staff for a hotel restaurant menu or a bar menu and pay for the food myself. But others may ask for the meat option from staff. What do the staff do? Refuse?

I got married last year and I organised my wedding based on the guests. They were giving up their time for us so I negotiated a cheaper room rate (had a big argument with hotel when they were reluctant to pass on VAT reductions), hired taxis for all who didn't drive. I tried to accommodate everyone with the menu ie vegetarians a long with non vegetarians, organised a kids activity etc etc. People spend alot of money to go to weddings and many were kind enough to give expensive gifts. To begrudge them something to eat is disingenuous.

I hate the notion that it is 'the brides day' and she should do what she wants. Are people that self centred?This rends to be encouraged by the brides circle of friends.

littleredspot · 28-08-2012 01:20PM

I think it's fairly relevant that the OP can't think of any dishes that they want, or doesn't know of any venues that would cater well for vegetarians/vegans. And yet are willing to make such a fuss about it.

I eat meat but I didn't like the meat dish that my wife wanted to serve at our wedding, so I asked the chef to make my favourite vegetarian dish as the veggie option, which I then had. No problem, no issue.

Myself and my wife don't drink lager, and anyone that knows us would know that, but I'd never have considered not having lager at the bar, that would be ignorant of us.

Glitter · 28-08-2012 01:27PM

I think that the idea of a 'silent' meat option for your older guests is really the best way to play this. That way if someone really, really can't get their heads around the idea of veggie food at least you're covered. And there will be a few, especially at rural, Irish wedding.

We're having a 'silent' veggie option at ours - red pepper and wild mushroom stroganoff - we let my veggie sister, who is the only veggie going to the wedding, choose it so hopefully it will be nice!

We also included a section about food on our RSVP cards actually, and discovered two pescatarians we hadn't known about so I've arranged for swordfish steaks for them.

Our hotel is very good about catering for everyone with food issues - so long as we tell them in advance they seem prepared to tweak the main menu for almost any request for any guest - we have coeliacs, pescatarians, one veggie and several allergy sufferers (gluten, soy, dairy, nuts and garlic at last count!) and we're doing all we can to make sure every single guest has something they like to eat on the day. I think food is vital to peoples' enjoyment of a wedding, but then I am a foodie myself!

Suggestions for your main menu:
I second the toasted pitta and hummus idea, maybe serve baba ganoush with it also - om nom nom!
Butternut squash & ricotta tortellini with some class of asparagus side dish for the main.
Lemon posset with blackberry sauce to finish.

And how about a nice elderflower cocktail for your drinks reception?

Best of luck with it!

strandroad · 28-08-2012 01:33PM

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I hate the notion that it is 'the brides day' and she should do what she wants. Are people that self centred?This rends to be encouraged by the brides circle of friends.

It all depends. Some long-term vegetarians find meat revolting as they are not used to the sights or smells anymore. I don't think it's fair to demand that someone sits at their own wedding nearly gagging to accommodate someone else's need to have meat at every meal. I have an aversion to fish and seafood to the degree where I cross the street to avoid passing a fish stall and can't be at the table when seafood is served; I could not stand the smell of fish or the sight of seafood at my wedding no matter how popular it would be among guests...

Also for some it's an important ethical issue and they may feel very strongly against supporting certain activities or industries; similarly, some people would not have issues with organising activities based on gambling while others would.

I really feel that making an issue of what kind of a meal you are invited to share is rude and inconsiderate. I don't eat meat (I don't mind when others do), but if there is no veggie option I'll just eat a plate of salads with breads and a dessert and be grateful. I can indulge in my preferences at home!

tattykitty · 28-08-2012 01:34PM

OP, we had a caterer for our wedding who provided some lovely vegetarian canapes and mains - maybe have a look at the menus on the website for some ideas: http://www.naomiskitchen.ie/

We had about 8 vegetarians in a group of 40 people, and we wanted them to enjoy their food as much as the meat eaters. We chose:

Canapes: mini goats cheese tartlets; Chicken satay skewers; Smoked salmon pate on brown bread squares; Mini roulade with baby leaf spinach, cream cheese, red pepper and basil leaves; Oriental duck spring rolls

Hot Dishes:
-Italian (beef) meatballs with tomato, red wine and basil sauce
-Chicken & broccoli gratin
-Roasted Mediterranean vegetable lasagne
-Salmon sweet chilli and lime glazed darns

Cold Dish -
-Spanakoppita - caramelised red onion, baby spinach and greek feta tart

3 Salads -
-Mediterranean cous cous
-Penne with sun-blanched tomatoes, fresh basil, baby spinach & pine nuts
-Potato and pancetta

Everyone really enjoyed the food, and a number of carnivores opted for the veggie options. The Spanakoppita and veggie lasagne were both amazing.

username123 · 28-08-2012 01:36PM

mhge wrote: »

I really feel that making an issue of what kind of a meal you are invited to share is rude and inconsiderate. I don't eat meat (I don't mind when others do), but if there is no veggie option I'll just eat a plate of salads with breads and a dessert and be grateful. I can indulge in my preferences at home!

How is it making an issue of it to go off quietly and pay for a meal yourself? Choices have consequences and the consequence of serving veggie food only will be that people go off and sort themselves out.

If you expect people to party and drink alcohol then you cannot expect them to do so on an empty stomach unless you want guests so drunk that they cant stand up.

jackofalltrades · 28-08-2012 01:38PM

loveisdivine wrote:

Trying to compare weddings by saying meat eating weddings cater for vegetarians so why shouldnt veggie weddings cater for meat eaters is also crazy. Meat eaters eat both meat AND veg. Veggie's only eat veggies.
The only way you could compare is if you said said "I only eat meat, no veggies" then you would be close to a comparison.

While meat eaters eat both meat and vegetable's, meat is considered to be the vital component to the meal. The vegetable part is considered at the same level as a side salad. Saying that they eat both, while accurate, misses the point a bit.

If you've invited guests, who have invited you to their wedding and have provided a vegetarian option, they could be quite annoyed by attending your wedding and not having a meat option as part of the meal.

To the OP, if your looking for the best option for a vegetarian meal for non-vegetarians then I'd recommend going for an Indian/Chinesse type meal.

Pawwed Rig · 28-08-2012 01:43PM

mhge wrote: »

I really feel that making an issue of what kind of a meal you are invited to share is rude and inconsiderate. I don't eat meat (I don't mind when others do), but if there is no veggie option I'll just eat a plate of salads with breads and a dessert and be grateful. I can indulge in my preferences at home!

But a wedding is a long day where you are essentially captive to the plans of the bride and grrom. Generally by the time people get to sit down for a meal they are pretty hungry, so to deny them a meal is grossly unfair.
If you take the people who responded here as a smaple of the %age that the OP invites show alot are going to be fairly unhappy with the menu.

Should they push their ethical issues onto others to the extent that it annoys their guests who have given up their tinme and money to attend?

strandroad · 28-08-2012 01:45PM

username123 wrote: »

How is it making an issue of it to go off quietly and pay for a meal yourself? Choices have consequences and the consequence of serving veggie food only will be that people go off and sort themselves out.

If you expect people to party and drink alcohol then you cannot expect them to do so on an empty stomach unless you want guests so drunk that they cant stand up.

I personally wouldn't mind anyone go and sort themselves out quietly but the example given was about a group chipper run as a natural and expected consequence.

However, if my meat eating OH was not able to go through one meal without meat, I'd be worried, although on a different level. Most people consume multiples of recommended animal protein intake, which is linked to cancers etc. and basically caused by easy access to mass produced meat; I don't think it's recommended to have solid portions of meat every day at all.

username123 · 28-08-2012 01:46PM

jackofalltrades wrote: »

While meat eaters eat both meat and vegetable's, meat is considered to be the vital component to the meal. The vegetable part is considered at the same level as a side salad. Saying that they eat both, while accurate, misses the point a bit.

If you've invited guests, who have invited you to their wedding and have provided a vegetarian option, they could be quite annoyed by attending your wedding and not having a meat option as part of the meal.

To the OP, if your looking for the best option for a vegetarian meal for non-vegetarians then I'd recommend going for an Indian/Chinesse type meal.

I agree with this except the for Indian/Chinese suggestion - a lot of people (me included) cannot tolerate spicy food or msg, particularly when you add alcohol Id prefer something bland.

jackofalltrades · 28-08-2012 01:47PM

mhge wrote: »

I really feel that making an issue of what kind of a meal you are invited to share is rude and inconsiderate. I don't eat meat (I don't mind when others do), but if there is no veggie option I'll just eat a plate of salads with breads and a dessert and be grateful. I can indulge in my preferences at home!

But even though there's no veggie options you're still getting a vegetarian meal. Albeit a poor one. If there's no meat option it's not like you can rustle up some piece's of chicken because there won't be any meat at all.

username123 · 28-08-2012 01:48PM

mhge wrote: »

I personally wouldn't mind anyone go and sort themselves out quietly but the example given was about a group chipper run as a natural and expected consequence.

Id be more inclined to think it would lead to people going off to feed themselves prior to the meal, or leave the event early tbh.

mhge wrote: »

However, if my meat eating OH was not able to go through one meal without meat, I'd be worried, although on a different level.

So would I. However, dinner is the main meal of the day. Having consumed a porridge breakfast and missed lunch due to attending a wedding he would expect meat in a dinner.

mhge wrote: »

Most people consume multiples of recommended animal protein intake, which is linked to cancers etc. and basically caused by easy access to mass produced meat; I don't think it's recommended to have solid portions of meat every day at all.

Luckily my OH takes medical advice from his doctor and not strangers on the internet.

strandroad · 28-08-2012 01:49PM

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

But a wedding is a long day where you are essentially captive to the plans of the bride and grrom. Generally by the time people get to sit down for a meal they are pretty hungry, so to deny them a meal is grossly unfair.
If you take the people who responded here as a smaple of the %age that the OP invites show alot are going to be fairly unhappy with the menu.

Should they push their ethical issues onto others to the extent that it annoys their guests who have given up their tinme and money to attend?

I don't think that serving a menu like the one improvised by MadsL is denying anyone a meal

And especially if you are used to different cultural backgrounds non-standard (for me and you) wedding arrangements happen all the time. I wouldn't dream of pushing my preferences or expectations on the hosts.

strandroad · 28-08-2012 01:54PM

jackofalltrades wrote: »

But even though there's no veggie options you're still getting a vegetarian meal. Albeit a poor one. If there's no meat option it's not like you can rustle up some piece's of chicken because there won't be any meat at all.

This doesn't really hold unless you're talking of real carnivores...

Pawwed Rig · 28-08-2012 02:00PM

mhge wrote: »

I don't think that serving a menu like the one improvised by MadsL is denying anyone a meal And especially if you are used to different cultural backgrounds non-standard (for me and you) wedding arrangements happen all the time. I wouldn't dream of pushing my preferences or expectations on the hosts.

I disagree because as I stated I would not consider a dish without meat dinner. I may be in a minority on that but I am not alone. Say 10% of people think like me. then at an average wedding thahere are 10 people p'd off with their meal. My would the OP want their guest annoyed at their wedding. Better to accomodate as many people as possible, especially for something that takes absolutely no effort to do as the hotels are set up to deal with serving meat and veg options.

I am used to different cultural backgrounds and every country I have travelled to meat is the main part of a dinner so not sure of your point there

strandroad · 28-08-2012 02:01PM

username123 wrote: »

Id be more inclined to think it would lead to people going off to feed themselves prior to the meal, or leave the event early tbh.

And the hosts will have to decide if they can live with the fact that some people's manners will allow that.

username123 wrote: »

Luckily my OH takes medical advice from his doctor and not strangers on the internet.

Good for him. I may feel too strongly about this so apologies; but it struck a weird tone to hear that someone needs meat absolutely every day. I had a dear family member who had a very healthy lifestyle apart from loving her meat daily, which according to her doctors contributed to her illness and death. I wish some strangers had talked to her.

Sleepy · 28-08-2012 02:05PM

mhge wrote: »

And especially if you are used to different cultural backgrounds non-standard (for me and you) wedding arrangements happen all the time.

This is Ireland, not Toronto.

It's nothing to be celebrated but Irish people aren't used to different cultural backgrounds. We're an insular backwater on the outskirts of Europe that until very recently was entirely subservient to the Vatican.

While some of us developed more cosmopolitan tastes during the last decade or two, many of the OP's guests, particularly if they're from a previous generation or rural Ireland, won't have.

username123 · 28-08-2012 02:07PM

mhge wrote: »

And the hosts will have to decide if they can live with the fact that some people's manners will allow that.

Just as the guests will have to decide if they can live with being invited to a veggie wedding - which some might perceive as a selfish choice on the part of the couple getting married.

As I said already, I think people should do what they want for their wedding, but actions have consequences.

mhge wrote: »

Good for him. I may feel too strongly about this so apologies; but it struck a weird tone to hear that someone needs meat absolutely every day. I had a dear family member who had a very healthy lifestyle apart from loving her meat daily, which according to her doctors contributed to her illness and death. I wish some strangers had talked to her.

Where did I say he needed it? He eats it every day and expects it everyday, but no one needs it everyday.

Im sorry for your troubles but plenty of daily meat eaters lead long healthy lives. Its totally off topic anyway, the bride and groom are hardly serving veggie food in the interests of the guests health.

strandroad · 28-08-2012 02:09PM

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I disagree because as I stated I would not consider a dish without meat dinner. I may be in a minority on that but I am not alone. Say 10% of people think like me. then at an average wedding thahere are 10 people p'd off with their meal. My would the OP want their guest annoyed at their wedding. Better to accomodate as many people as possible, especially for something that takes absolutely no effort to do as the hotels are set up to deal with serving meat and veg options.

I would hazard a guess that with absolutely any menu there will be 10% of disappointed guests. We all have preferences and they are not as clean cut as meat vs no meat.

I am used to different cultural backgrounds and every country I have travelled to meat is the main part of a dinner so not sure of your point there

It doesn't need to be this particular issue at all, there are plenty of customs and guidelines at play even between two different families or social backgrounds, with food, dress, behaviour, entertainment and etiquette. And there are always guests who will suffer or leave because they don't like the music or need to watch their soccer finals.

Sleepy · 28-08-2012 02:13PM

mhge wrote: »

I would hazard a guess that with absolutely any menu there will be 10% of disappointed guests.

You're probably talking a much higher percentage than 10% that would be unhappy with a purely vegetarian diet though.

Unless the OP's friends and family are all of a similar mindset, you'll probably find 60 - 90% of the guests would prefer meat with their dinner (I'd be in that camp myself) and maybe 30-40% of them who'll be downright unhappy that there's no meat available. How many of these will end up buying themselves (what they consider) "a proper dinner" from the bar / local chippie etc. will depend entirely on their manners tbh.

The Bishop Basher · 28-08-2012 02:14PM

It's just a simple reality that a significant majority of our population see meat as a staple in an evening meal, particularly when eating out.

Hiding the fact that there's no meat will just annoy people even further. I've been to many weddings of vegetarians, including my own, even been to a vegan wedding and meat was always on the menu. Thankfully, they were thinking about their guests and not just themselves.

Personally I would discreetly slip out and get food at the bar. I don't like or eat many vegetables and I'm not drinking the night away on an empty stomach.

It's either that or leave.

strandroad · 28-08-2012 02:15PM

username123 wrote: »

Where did I say he needed it? He eats it every day and expects it everyday, but no one needs it everyday.

So again it boils down to someone's priorities and manners as they decide whether to skip or leave a wedding over something they expect, but don't need.

Sleepy · 28-08-2012 02:17PM

Or someone else's manners regarding respecting their guests dietary requirements.

jackofalltrades · 28-08-2012 02:17PM

username123 wrote:

Having consumed a porridge breakfast and missed lunch due to attending a wedding he would expect meat in a dinner.

I think this is the crux of it for most meat eaters. Due to "the gap", I find I'm usually absolutely ravenous by the time it comes to dinner, and the only thing on my mind is a substantial dinner, with a meat portion that makes up a large part of it.

The Bishop Basher · 28-08-2012 02:18PM

mhge wrote: »

So again it boils down to someone's priorities and manners as they decide whether to skip or leave a wedding over something they expect, but don't need.

It's got nothing to do with manners if it's done discretely. It's got everything to do with that basic human need - to eat !!

username123 · 28-08-2012 02:20PM

mhge wrote: »

So again it boils down to someone's priorities and manners as they decide whether to skip or leave a wedding over something they expect, but don't need.

Yeah, you know the more I think about this, they more I wonder if we would go at all, if we knew in advance that it was veggie food only. Unless it was a very very close friend, probably not actually. Weddings are hugely expensive events to attend, so thinking about it, we'd probably decide to decline the invite.

I personally dont see any bad manners in someone feeding themselves in the bit inbetween the ceremony and the meal btw - not sure why you keep mentioning manners? Plenty of people who will have travelled for a few hours to get there will take the opportunity to get lunch, tea and a sandwich or whatever during that part of the day. I once had to find a chemist during that part - bad manners? I dont think so.

Quorum · 28-08-2012 02:23PM

There's nothing wrong with liking to have meat with most meals. I just thought I'd point that out as the idea has been met with derision a number of times on this thread. Meat is filling due to its high protein content, and has a texture I've yet to find emulated in vegetarian food. Lots of people enjoy that texture. There's nothing wrong with that. I personally quite like some veggie dishes but others need meat in their main meal ie. dinner. That's another thing, many people like meat with their main meal, that doesn't mean they have to have it at every meal, like people keep saying on this thread. But as dinner is the meal that is generally eaten at weddings, there will be a good amount of perturbed guests and the OP will have to accept that fact. It's not something that can be controlled.

strandroad · 28-08-2012 02:26PM

username123 wrote: »

Yeah, you know the more I think about this, they more I wonder if we would go at all, if we knew in advance that it was veggie food only. Unless it was a very very close friend, probably not actually. Weddings are hugely expensive events to attend, so thinking about it, we'd probably decide to decline the invite.

I personally dont see any bad manners in someone feeding themselves in the bit inbetween the ceremony and the meal btw - not sure why you keep mentioning manners? Plenty of people who will have travelled for a few hours to get there will take the opportunity to get lunch, tea and a sandwich or whatever during that part of the day. I once had to find a chemist during that part - bad manners? I dont think so.

Oh I'm not referring to feeding yourself, unless it's done as a demonstration; you mentioned leaving the wedding or skipping it. But then maybe my thinking is influenced by the fact that I only go to weddings of people I care about; I was never faced with an event where I had no personal/emotional interest and food etc would be of importance instead. I wouldn't go to such an event in the first place. But I wouldn't skip a close person't wedding or leave early no matter what would be served, played or announced.

eyescreamcone · 28-08-2012 02:26PM

Would I not go to a wedding if meat was not provided for the dinner? No, I'd still go.
Would I prefer a meat option? YES, 100%

Would I ever choose to go to a vegetarian restaurant? NEVER

I'm the type that would complain when the sandwiches come around late in the evening if their all salad.
I would consider myself to be in the majority on this issue.

blatantrereg · 28-08-2012 02:36PM

Sleepy wrote: »

Or someone else's manners regarding respecting their guests dietary requirements.

meat isn't a dietary requirement for anyone. Even low-carb atkins type diets that usually entail high meat consumption could easily be catered for - it's one meal for goodness' sake.

Vegetarian Wedding

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