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Vegetarian Wedding

2456

Comments

  • #32
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,132 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    Still thinking about the desserts that caf paradiso does. Amazing stuff. :D

    What the heck was up with that apple crumble option you were given, sheesh, dessert is where vegetarians shine. Jelly is all you need to avoid and as fun as a bowl full of jelly is, I've never seem it on a wedding menu yet!


  • #33
    ladypip
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 746 ✭✭✭ladypip


    chatterpillar wrote: »
    WTF?! :confused: Neither of your examples are comparable! At all! The ceremony itself is between the OP and his/her fiancé(e) - I honestly don't even understand what point you're trying to make here?! QUOTE]
    Arent they?, Id say most vegetarians beliefs are as important to them as religion or sexuality. The point I was making (not trying) was that if people are going to the op's wedding to celebrate her marriage they should respect her beliefs are go veggie for a day.


    Oh, so it's payback, that because (s)he's had to sit through sub-standard meals as a result of being vegetarian, it's understandable to put guests through the same?

    I never said that it was payback. What i did say was that im sure the op has gone to meals where everyone around her was eating meat and she dealt with it in order to celebrate whatever occasion she was attending. Her friends and family should show her the same respect.


    I'd actually understand it more if the OP was a real "foodie" type, and had some great ideas for food for the guests. But it honestly doesn't seem that way, at all.

    The facts are that hotel wedding food isn't usually great - and that the vegetarian courses are even worse! Why put guests through that?

    Thats presumably why she is asking for helpful suggestions.


  • #34
    ladypip
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 746 ✭✭✭ladypip


    apologies for my horrendous multi quote skillz :)


  • #35
    KDII
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 202 ✭✭KDII


    This would be a great thread to start over in the vegan and vegetarian forum if something similar hasn't already been done. Would be a good reference point for having dinner parties etc with vegetarian guests attending.

    I am a vegetarian and find people don't miss meat from a well balanced meal. It's one meal in their life and surely a break from the usual hotel wedding fare would be welcomed.

    Something like a nicely done curry if presented nicely could definetely be formal and easy enough to prepare for a large group.

    I think including veggie and vegan choices is a lovely personal touch to your day.


  • #36
    F1ngers
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 11,608 Mod ✭✭✭✭F1ngers


    There is a vegan/vegetarian forum here, http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=572

    They may have other options/advice.


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  • #37
    artyeva
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,137 ✭✭✭artyeva


    all this talk about beliefs in this thread though - i wonder where it's coming from? i certainly don't get the idea from the op that because they want to serve veggie/vegan food they'll also be setting it up as some sort of political statement against meat :confused:

    i often think meat eaters have this rather overly-defensive idea of vegetarians or vegans having 'beliefs' or trying to 'convert' people, where a lot of the time it couldn't be further from the truth. i know a lot of vegetarians and never has one of them ever even hinted at words like 'beliefs' or used the word 'shouldn't' in relation to my choices as to what i eat. food is food. food is vegetables, grains, pulses, nuts, seeds, herbs, spices, pastas, rices, fruits, and yeah - meat. good grief what a narrow experience it would be to go through life if you get so het up that a meal that someone serves you at THEIR wedding has to be meat and veg and spuds... or what? will the sky fall in? will people drop dead because for one day they get vegetable protein and not animal protein? :p


  • #38
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    Daisy M wrote: »
    Seriously this is exceptionally poor form.
    I'm sorry, let me be blunt, but it isn't. Poor form would be expecting guests to pay for the food. If I invite you to my home and I cook you a vegetarian meal am I showing poor form or bad hospitality by not offering you meat? A wedding is an extension of that home hospitality.
    People go out of their way to attend weddings and usually at considerable expense.
    Not because they care about their friends?
    If I was invited to a wedding where the bride and groom had a take it or leave it attitude I would leave it.
    vegan or vegetarian, there is a choice :confused:
    People are attending the venues of your choice, going on the day you choose, listening to the music you choose and all at a time you choose, surely they deserve some consideration when it comes to what is served?

    Do you phone your order ahead when you go to a friend's house for dinner?
    Personally I often choose the vegetarian option at a wedding as it sounds tempting and also can be lighter than a meat dish, however I know a lot of people who would go hungry rather than eating a meal they dont like.
    This is Vegetarian food, not some weird concoction. Y'know vegetables and stuff? With a choice.
    You will probably lose some of your guests to the nearest fast food joint later in the evening if they dont get a meal they like.
    Oh please, if they are that shallow, stop trying to put 'the fear' into this bride. What nonsense. Serve plenty of spuds and they will get eaten.
    I would be of the opinion that having a choice of vegetarian and normal dishes would be best but you could also have one totally vegetarian starter.
    Best for whom, this is their wedding, their taste, their day.
    chatterpillar wrote: »
    The facts are that hotel wedding food isn't usually great - and that the vegetarian courses are even worse! Why put guests through that?
    Then make sure it is good food. If necessary get a great Veggie chef for the day to oversee the brigade on the day.
    If your concerned about the animals - bear in mind that, if the guests hadn't taken the time to attend your wedding, chances are they'd have been eating meat anyways. So it's not like more animals are being killed just for this occasion - your conscience is clear.
    Don't even know where to begin with the moral double-think here.
    I don't even eat all that much meat myself, tbh. But I think it's only right to respect the choices of others - and especially when they're your guests.
    Grand, I only eat McDonalds; will you let me bring a takeway with me to your wedding please?

    Some people here are really confusing hospitality with being a doormat.


  • #39
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    Compare;

    We are having a veggie wedding...
    OMG, wtf forcing us, where's the beef or salmon..???!!! @$@%$@%!!!..

    The food will be a Mediterranean theme, Minestrone soup, Truffle Risotto, Cucumber and mint sorbet, Roasted vegetable lasagna with vegan ricotta, soy panna cotta with amaretto infused maple syrup.*
    OMG, sounds yummy!

    Don't mention the V word.



    * I actually like that menu, not bad for top of the head.


  • #40
    ladypip
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 746 ✭✭✭ladypip


    Thats a winner of a menu!!!


  • #41
    artyeva
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,137 ✭✭✭artyeva


    jaysis madsl, the op should hire YOU, that sounds amazing! :D


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  • #42
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    artyeva wrote: »
    jaysis madsl, the op should hire YOU, that sounds amazing! :D

    *blush*

    All how you say it...

    The airfare would be a killer for her sadly, and I'd insist on Business :D

    I did actually think about wedding planning for a while, but the thought of the Bridezillas put me off.

    I thought there was room for a more of an overseer than planner. Suggesting rather than planning. And then on the day making sure 'behind the scenes' were not screwing the couple, correct wine served at the correct temp, food up to scratch, wait staff being polite and competent and not slopping it out, if a free bar was used that they were not getting charged for drinks not poured. That type of thing.


  • #43
    Dolbert
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,154 ✭✭✭Dolbert


    You have to laugh at some of the reactions here... do people think they're going to collapse from having one meal with no meat? It's not gonna kill you FFS!


  • #44
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    Dolbert wrote: »
    You have to laugh at some of the reactions here... do people think they're going to collapse from having one meal with no meat? It's not gonna kill you FFS!

    Shhhhh! It's not a veggie wedding. It's a "Symphony of Tuscany". 70% of the people afterwards would not be able to tell you if there was meat in the lasagne or not.


  • #45
    Sleepy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 25,006 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    MadsL, I think you're being a bit delusional if you think the absence of meat from a lasagne would be un-noticeable or that Uncle Pat's first reaction to a menu like the above wouldn't be "where's the feckin' beef?" before asking the waitress for some "proper food". While I think that personally I'd enjoy that menu I'd be worried about having it for a wedding for a couple of reasons:

    1) The cooking staff in a hotel kitchen are unlikely to be experienced with the food. Possibly less of a problem in a high-end "foodie" venue like Village of Lyons etc. but more normal wedding venues where they rarely stretch beyond salmon and over-cooked beef may find it a challenge to carry off well. The suggestion of outside caterers is a good one, but it might be very expensive. Perhaps choosing a menu from the River Cottage Veg Every Day book and presenting the hotel chef with it would help with this?

    2) Even at that, a lot of the older generation in Ireland are still very much in the "meat and three veg" mindset when it comes to food. The Uncle Pat's and Aunt Mary's of this country won't be happy with a vegetarian menu. And while you'd like to think we've progressed as a nation, I'm afraid a lot of our own generation don't think that dissimilarly.

    3) Rude or not, it will result in some guests popping into the hotel bar for a burger/carvery or, worse, heading down the road in search of a chipper (depending on the location). Could lead to a somewhat sparser dance floor than one might like for a while.

    4) Many omnivores actually find it rude of a vegetarian not to offer a meat option since, however poor the kitchen may be at executing it, there is always a vegetarian option at a wedding. The "if I can cater for them, why they hell can't they return the courtesy" factor comes into play here. As seriously as many vegetarians and vegans take their beliefs regarding meat they'll never be taken as seriously as someone's religious beliefs by society at large, particularly when a look at one's teeth "proves" that human beings were "designed" to be omnivorous and science would seem to suggest that our evolution to a point where we as a species can conceive of the notions of right and wrong was due, in part, to the high protein diet eaten by our ancient ancestors when they learned how to hunt. (even if you take issue with either of those supporting "facts", they're widely held as proof of meat eating being the "natural order" and most people don't want to be convinced of the contrary).

    Maybe a good compromise between your beliefs and being a good host might be to cater to the omnivores in your guests in the same fashion you normally get catered to at their weddings and have a "silent" option for the main involving beef or chicken?

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  • #46
    seamus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,173 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    As has been said, and as MadsL points out, it's the not equivalent of a veggie being forced to eat meat at a wedding, since omnivores can and do still eat vegetarian food.

    It's just in Ireland we have this archaic notion that if a meal doesn't have meat in it, then it's not a meal.

    On one hand I agree that as guests are coming to your wedding, you have something of an obligation to ensure that they are catered for.

    On the other hand, if the couple's vegetarianism is important enough that they feel it's part of their identity, then it's perfectly appropriate that the meals served reflect that. It's not "bad form" at all, since the guests are being catered for. If someone thinks that you must have meat in a meal, then that's their problem tbh - they are being catered for, since they are being served a meal that they can eat. If Paddy and Biddy are upset there's no beef in their nutritionally complete and delicious meal, then fnck them, quite frankly. Complaining that there's no beef in the meal is about as valid as whinging that you would have preferred roast spuds over boiled ones.

    Ultimately you can't cater for everyone and there will always be people who won't eat beef or fish or veggie or whatever and will go look after themselves.

    TL;DR - If having veggie meals is idealogically important enough for you, then bull on. Your guests are being served full meals and you can't please everybody all of the time. Get the meals right and most guests will rave about how delivious they were and how surprised they were that it was so good. A handful will bitch about there being no meat, but not to your face. So why care?

    FWIW, we went with a chicken or fish choice at ours despite being vegetarian. Usually they'd add on a veggie supplement to have a third option, but as we had a large number of veggies at our wedding (a quarter of the guests), they gave them to us at no extra cost provided that we nailed down the numbers rather than leave it as an open choice.
    In hindsight I think we should have gone with a chicken or veggie option, as it would have made things cheaper and simpler.


  • #47
    endacl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,443 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    Daisy M wrote: »
    If you are a vegetarian then surely you would know what "formal" veggie food is, surely whe you go to a restaurant there must be standard veggie fare that you like?

    I cant really understand why everyone attending your wedding must eat veggie food, surely it would be better to give people a nice choice and let them choose? Can you imagine going to a wedding where you were forced to choose a meat dish?
    I've been to that wedding. One of the lads did a chipper run after the speeches. Seriously.


  • #48
    Esmereldina
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 444 ✭✭Esmereldina


    The responses to the idea of a vegetarian wedding are slightly crazy! Seriously, do people really eat meat for every meal, every day? I'm veggie but my fiance is not, and we won't be having a veggie wedding - if it is important to you though, I don't see why you shouldn't do it. As long as the food is good, people shouldn't really notice the lack of meat!

    I think the problem is the 'vegetarian' label - call it a vegetable based meal and maybe people will have less of a problem? Or as someone else was suggesting give it a theme, like mediterranean food instead of calling it simply vegetarian. The mediterranean theme is a good one and loads of yummy veg options there - Jamie Oliver's Italy book has loads of veggie options - for crostini and bruschetta (loads of different veg options ie artichoke, courgette etc rather than just the boring usuals involving goats cheese or hummus) and also for risotto. I love risotto but I know it can be seen as a bit boring over here - some variations on the usual risotto options might be roasted artichokes or roast mushrooms and truffle, or pesto. I'm also really liking the River Cottage veg cookbook - loads of great suggestions in there.

    Do be careful enough when choosing hotel too though as so many veg options are lazy and horrible, even in nicer restaurants. I'm a foodie veggie and I do get bored of endless goat's cheese tartlets and badly cooked bland veg ravioli!


  • #49
    Sleepy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 25,006 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    Esmereldina wrote: »
    The responses to the idea of a vegetarian wedding are slightly crazy! Seriously, do people really eat meat for every meal, every day? I'm veggie but my fiance is not, and we won't be having a veggie wedding - if it is important to you though, I don't see why you shouldn't do it. As long as the food is good, people shouldn't really notice the lack of meat!

    I think the problem is the 'vegetarian' label - call it a vegetable based meal and maybe people will have less of a problem? Or as someone else was suggesting give it a theme, like mediterranean food instead of calling it simply vegetarian.
    I'm afraid most people do eat meat with the vast majority of meals. A "theme" or different label won't change the absence of meat in the meal.

    Like I've said earlier in the thread, I'd have no problem with it. Done well, vegetarian food can be fantastic (I'd be a huge fan for a simple tomato and basil bruschetta with decent bread and olive oil) but I know lots of people, my other half included I'm afraid to say, who'd consider a meal without some sort of meat to be rabbit food and who'd end up getting involved in a "chipper run" as endacl called it.

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  • #50
    evilmonkee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 326 ✭✭evilmonkee


    It's YOUR wedding. If you want to serve all veggie then thats what you do!

    Your guests should be there to celebrate your special day. If they're so self centered to b!tch and moan about not having meat in their (free) meal, then do they really deserve to be there? Or do you really care if they do?

    In my experience people will be amazed that veggie food can be delicious and most comments you'll receive will be related to how good it was.

    Also, I would recommend chachouka served individually, its sooooo good!

    Oh or you could go Indian style and have the food prepared on front of the guests to create some drama around the food. Served in mini portions so you get a little of each rather than X courses. Its pretty traditional Indian style of cooking for weddings, banquets etc.

    Disclaimer: I do eat meat, however I do not see the need to have meat in every meal!


  • #51
    strandroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,676 ✭✭✭strandroad


    A chipper run would be unbelievably rude... I can't imagine standing up and making a public issue out of the fact that the choice of meals is not to my taste, not to mention instigating some sort of mutiny over it.

    And it will always be not to someone's taste, no matter what you serve - I don't know why some advocate catering to the meat and two veg taste as some sort of a golden standard; if you do that, you'll disappoint some more sophisticated foodies, or the other way round. People who want to be disappointed or rude will always find a way!


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  • #52
    Esmereldina
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 444 ✭✭Esmereldina


    Some more things I thought of: what time of year will the wedding be taking place as you are best off choosing a menu based on what's in season so that you'll get the best quality ingredients. For summer, starters based around grilled mediterranean vegetables are lovely. Another slarter idea would be a halloumi salad, maybe with rocket, roast butternut squash and caramelised red onions?

    If it's a winter wedding, the River Cottage vegetarian Christmas menu had some great ideas last year - think it should still be online. Stuffed roast pumpkin, chestnut soup etc mmm

    Also, pastry tarts are a good idea too. Goats cheese tartlets give them a bad name but you can also do much more interesting things with them... leek and chestnut tart, artickoke tart, mediterranean vegetable tart. Also gratins with vegetables/cheese/potatoes are nice rich, 'occasion' food if a bit wintery.


  • #53
    Sleepy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 25,006 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    mhge wrote: »
    A chipper run would be unbelievably rude... I can't imagine standing up and making a public issue out of the fact that the choice of meals is not to my taste, not to mention instigating some sort of mutiny over it.
    I'm sure it's not going to happen loudly in the function room, more likely it'll be quietly organised in the smoking section but it's something I'd definitely see happening that I wouldn't want at my own wedding.

    I'm not a fussy eater myself but I really think you have to try and cater for the majority when you're hosting for a party.

    The evening food should be easier to do veggie though, depending on how strict a veggie you are you may need to insist on clean oil for the fryer: onion rings, wedges, garlic mushrooms etc instead of the usual cocktails sausages and chicken wings.

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  • #54
    blatantrereg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    Sleepy wrote: »
    I'm sure it's not going to happen loudly in the function room, more likely it'll be quietly organised in the smoking section but it's something I'd definitely see happening that I wouldn't want at my own wedding.
    Yeah but I think not inviting twats would be a better strategy to counter this, than pandering to twats.


  • #55
    Sleepy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 25,006 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    So people that would cater to the OP's dietary preference but would sort themselves out should the OP not cater for theirs is a twat? Rather a judgemental attitude there blatantrereg.

    We don't always get to pick who comes to our wedding. Most people don't have the option of leaving some family members out of the day without causing a rift in the family or upsetting their parents/in-laws etc. Maybe it's just me but I'd like to think that everyone I invite to the day will feel like they're being taken care of: there'll be soft drinks for the teetotallers, a vegetarian option for vegetarians, a gluten-free option (and tier of our wedding cake) as a number of our guests are coeliac etc. I guess I kind of see it as having a duty of care to our guests. We want them to enjoy themselves whilst celebrating our marriage with us, not to suffer through things they don't like to keep us happy.

    I'll come back to the previous suggestion I had: ensure there's a really good vegetarian / vegan menu by working closely with the chef (and expect to pay a bit over the odds for this) and have a silent option of a meat dish for those that will otherwise feel put out. Keeps everyone happy whilst the OP gets the meal they'd want. You could be sneaky about it and choose a really bland meat dish as the silent option if you wanted to push the main choices.

    I will say one thing I've gotten from this thread. I'll be looking into what vegetarian option is being offered at our wedding since so many of you feel that the usual offerings aren't up to scratch. I enjoyed the episodes of "Veg Every Day" I saw so might see if one of the mains from that could be used :)

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  • #56
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    I can absolutely guarantee that if myself and hubby were invited to a veggie wedding, he would want to go and pay for a steak to eat during the part between ceremony and hotel.

    Im less fussy and I like a light meal at a wedding anyway, but my husband partakes of a lot of meat, and quite frankly would be horrified if he thought that he couldnt have meat with a meal.

    If he didnt know in advance he would probably want to leave early so he could eat some meat somewhere. Bizarre perhaps but its reality, he takes his grub seriously.


  • #57
    Lollymcd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 802 ✭✭✭Lollymcd


    I've been a vegetarian for 14 years and I feel quite strongly about it but saying that I would not inflict my lifestyle choice on guests at a function I was hosting. If the OP feels so strongly about it though I think they should go with it, perhaps it's something they will look back on in years and be grateful that they did do it, or on the other hand regret that they did not!

    I have been to loads of weddings in the last 14 years and all I can say about the vegetarian options was that the were horrible, stodgy, disgusting, appalling, offensive . . . am I getting my point across? :) You definitely need to pick your venue carefully, pick somewhere that the chef is comfortable with cooking vegetarian food, most hotel chefs aren't. Have a couple of menus with you when you talk to the chef about it and make sure you get to sample it first. This is probably already been said already and I'm sorry to repeat it all :( for me the greatest memories of weddings are not the first dances or the speeches but the food and you want yours to be remembered fondly!

    Finally, please please please please don't opt for vegetarian lasagne, I've yet to have a pleasant one and few other vegetarians I know can say otherwise! (unless it's homemade of course!)


  • #58
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,132 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    username123 wrote: »
    I can absolutely guarantee that if myself and hubby were invited to a veggie wedding, he would want to go and pay for a steak to eat during the part between ceremony and hotel.

    What does he normally eat at weddings? Not very many of them serve steak.


  • #59
    westies4ever
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,456 ✭✭✭westies4ever


    Between this and the 'stingy presents' thread I just dont get people these days!! When on earth did we all become so full of our own self importance??


  • #60
    loveisdivine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,443 ✭✭✭loveisdivine


    The repsonses on here are frankly hilarious! I've been sniggering to myself whilst reading through the thread.
    It really does clarify the fact that most people just cant fathom the idea of a meal that doesnt have meat in it. I think its laughable that people are suggesting guests will run off to buy other food. That says more about your own manners than it does about the b&g.

    Trying to compare weddings by saying meat eating weddings cater for vegetarians so why shouldnt veggie weddings cater for meat eaters is also crazy. Meat eaters eat both meat AND veg. Veggie's only eat veggies.
    The only way you could compare is if you said said "I only eat meat, no veggies" then you would be close to a comparison.

    I eat meat. However I dont feel the need to shovel meat down my throat at every meal.

    I think at the next wedding I attend I shall request I only be served food thats purple. I think thats fairly reasonable as at my own wedding I shall be catering for people that eat multi coloured foods, so why shouldnt they cater for me? :rolleyes:

    Oh and a point I think has been missed. The b&g dont want to support the meat industry, so why should they spend a load of money on meat just to please others?


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  • #61
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    pwurple wrote: »
    What does he normally eat at weddings? Not very many of them serve steak.

    Im not implying that weddings do normally serve steak?

    All I am saying is that he would go and pay for some meat to eat at the in between part, he would usually order a steak in a restaurant so thats where that came from. Clearly if there was nowhere to get a steak he would get some chicken or something else. Perhaps it would clarify to say "he would go to a restaurant and order a meat dish".

    Im not implying that the OP shouldnt do as she pleases for her wedding, but the reality is that some people will not feel they have eaten properly if they have not eaten meat and will go off and get some themselves.

    Personally I think people should do as they like for their weddings, but when you are catering a party for a large number of people there will be a large number of tastes and a full day event that includes no meat wont be to everyones taste so they will go off and get some themselves.


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