Vegetarian Wedding

holding · 27-08-2012 05:28PM #1

We're hoping to have a vegetarian wedding that has 2 choices on the menu, one vegetarian, one vegan. All the hotels we've looked at (haven't actually chosen one yet) have said that that is no problem at all, which is great. A couple have got back to me with menus, and to be honest, the menus are really not great. For example, one offered veg soup, followed by goats cheese tart, followed by apple crumble (the vegan main option was aubergine stuffed with rice). The hotel we're hoping to have it at has offered a sit-down meeting with us and the chef, where we can discuss options. I'm a bit flummoxed as to what is considered 'formal' veggie food - the stuff I tend to cook myself to eat is too casual, like pastas and curries.

So have you ever had a veggie meal or option at a wedding dinner that was just awesome? Or attended a hotel that provided a fabulous wedding veggie dinner? Or just have some ideas as to what you would be happy eating (if you're a meat-eater) if you were attending a veg wedding? Sorry if this is in the wrong place, I wasn't sure if it should go in the weddings forum or the veggie forum, thanks

Daisy M · 27-08-2012 08:06PM

If you are a vegetarian then surely you would know what "formal" veggie food is, surely whe you go to a restaurant there must be standard veggie fare that you like?

I cant really understand why everyone attending your wedding must eat veggie food, surely it would be better to give people a nice choice and let them choose? Can you imagine going to a wedding where you were forced to choose a meat dish?

Sleepy · 27-08-2012 09:07PM

I can't see most Irish men not being a bit put out by not having the option of meat at a wedding. Something tells me you'll end up with guests sneaking out for a Supermacs.

A friend of mine had an asian stir-fry as the vegetarian option at his wedding and really enjoyed it at the tasting. He got a side order of the stir-fry with his meal but still went for the beef.

While I understand that many vegetarians take their beliefs very seriously, TBH, I think you're creating a rod for your own back in foisting that choice onto guests at your wedding. It's something I can see people remembering about a wedding in a poor light.

movingsucks · 27-08-2012 09:46PM

Hi holding,

This wasn't at a wedding but a restaurant I used to go to used to do big vegetarian spring rolls as one of their mains. I am a meat eater but I don't need to eat meat at every meal and I loved these. With the right sides or sauces it could be "formal" and "safe" enough for people to try?
Ratatouile is nice also.

I don't think there's anything wrong with serving a really good curry either but that's just me

Cellygirl · 27-08-2012 09:54PM

Have to say it wouldn't bother me at all going to a veggie wedding once the food was nice!

I'd fully understand that for their wedding two vegetarians would not want to eat meat and would want their day to reflect them as a couple. That'd be fine by me.

I'm not much help OP as I'm not a veggie, but I think maybe steer clear of the 'obvious'? Like say veg soup. Maybe have a roasted red pepper and tomato soup instead? Or a curried butternut squash soup? Just something a little more fancy?

For our wedding, the main vegetarian course we went for was 'Strudel of Five Spiced Bok Choi and Tofu served with spicy curry oil risotto of squash and pine nuts with fresh herbs.' It looked really nice though I didn't eat it myself, I had fish.

Would you consider a Caeser salad maybe? (No anchovies or bacon obviously) Or if you did eat fish, maybe a prawn and avocado salad with lovely soda bread or something like that? That'd more be a starter I guess.

Would you look up the menu of your fave restaurant and ask the chef to recreate a couple of dishes on that for you?

tinkerbell · 27-08-2012 09:58PM

Sleepy wrote: »

While I understand that many vegetarians take their beliefs very seriously, TBH, I think you're creating a rod for your own back in foisting that choice onto guests at your wedding. It's something I can see people remembering about a wedding in a poor light.

^ This. It is poor form to ram your own choices down your guests' throats. Ever watch Come Dine With Me? Usually when there's a vegetarian on it, they will cook a meat/fish option to please their guests. Those that insist on cooking a vegetarian option, the other dinner party guests always complain about it.

Also, every wedding I have been to, the bride & groom always try to accommodate everybody's dietary requirements by making sure that there's a vegetarian option on or for special dietary needs. Lots of people would not be happy getting served up a vegetarian meal and would see it as just a plate of vegetables and/or cheese. I say this coming from someone who eats everything from meat to fish to vegetarian dishes. Sometimes when we go out for dinner, I pick vegetarian options. And by the way, your two choices on the menu of "vegetarian" and "vegan" would mean just one thing to most of your guests - "they only have vegetarian on the menu", it's not even a choice. Most people would think they are the same thing.

I'd also like to add that the curried butternut squash soup is a better idea, veg soup is just ugh. But god stay away from anything with risotto in it. It's like marmite - you either love it or you hate it, I don't think there's an inbetween with risotto.

MadsL · 27-08-2012 09:59PM

Your wedding, your rules. Try and find an amazing veggie dish you want the chef to make though. Most hotels are very poor at veggie food. Beef or Salmon is the standard wedding fair.

Maybe ask the chef to make you both a lunch with their suggested Veggie/Vegan options. Don't be afraid to go talk directly to the (ask for the Chef de Cuisine) at the hotel, don't be fobbed off with the Banqueting Manager.

The Big Red Button · 27-08-2012 10:10PM

Personally I think it's a bad idea. Would you like to go to a wedding where there was no vegetarian option, and no possibility of getting a veggie meal?

In restaurants I've gone to, I've ordered the vegetarian option if it looks nice - but asked to have some chicken in it as well. I can see this happening at your wedding - that you'll have a lot of guests asking the waiting staff to put some meat in their meal. What happens then? Will you "allow" this? Are you happy to pay for this?

The people taking the time (and spending the money) to attend your wedding are your guests. It's very bad form, in my opinion, not to accommodate them. Whatever your reasons for your own diet are, I don't think that it's fair to force your diet on others.

ladypip · 27-08-2012 10:23PM

I think that people at your wedding should respect your beliefs and choices enough to understand why you want to have a vegetarian menu. NOBODY will complain to you on your big day but if anyone gives you stick they are really out of line.

Some Suggestions for you: Starters, Goats cheese salad or tart, waldorf salad, samosas with chutney, bruschetta, Butternut squash and chilli soup.

Mains Mushroom risotto, seasonal vegtable lasanga, vegetable tagine with couscous, Roasted vegetable and ricotta frittata.

I hope that helps

movingsucks · 27-08-2012 10:39PM

I just remembered at our work christmas party one of the starters was humus and pita bread. Nearly half our group ordered it and they weren't vegetarians

holding · 27-08-2012 10:41PM

Ladypip & Cellygirl, those sound like yummy suggestions. I will definitely take those ideas to the chef in the hotel that we're hoping to book.

Thanks Madsyl, I didn't realise there was a difference between the Banqueting Manager and the chef de cuisine, so I'll remember that and approach him/her directly

Movingsucks, good point re the sides. Having familiar sides, all the 'trimmings' etc, will make the meal seem less strange

The Big Red Button · 27-08-2012 10:41PM

ladypip wrote: »

I think that people at your wedding should respect your beliefs and choices enough to understand why you want to have a vegetarian menu.

And I think that, if people are taking the time out of their lives and spending the money to attend your wedding, you should respect their beliefs and choices, and do your best to ensure to accommodate them.

MadsL · 27-08-2012 10:42PM

chatterpillar wrote: »

Personally I think it's a bad idea. Would you like to go to a wedding where there was no vegetarian option, and no possibility of getting a veggie meal?

In restaurants I've gone to, I've ordered the vegetarian option if it looks nice - but asked to have some chicken in it as well. I can see this happening at your wedding - that you'll have a lot of guests asking the waiting staff to put some meat in their meal. What happens then? Will you "allow" this? Are you happy to pay for this?

The people taking the time (and spending the money) to attend your wedding are your guests. It's very bad form, in my opinion, not to accommodate them. Whatever your reasons for your own diet are, I don't think that it's fair to force your diet on others.

If you have strong veggie views, go for it. If you don't much mind, offer the option. A lot of the time I have made veggie food and people have failed to notice the lack of meat. If you don't make a big deal, neither will they.

blatantrereg · 27-08-2012 10:44PM

blergh hotels often have bad veggie options in their restaurants so I'm not that surprised.

Can you imagine going to a wedding where you were forced to choose a meat dish?

Not even the teeny tiniest bit similar to what the OP is doing.

A Quorn option (or other meat replacement thing) might be a good idea, to accommodate people who wouldn't ordinarily try veggie dishes, or wouldn't know what they might like.

Stir fry with/without tofu, indian curries, nice salads, pasta dishes, omelettes. Loads of things. I am a vegetarian though.

Daisy M · 27-08-2012 10:44PM

ladypip wrote: »

I think that people at your wedding should respect your beliefs and choices enough to understand why you want to have a vegetarian menu. NOBODY will complain to you on your big day but if anyone gives you stick they are really out of line.

Some Suggestions for you: Starters, Goats cheese salad or tart, waldorf salad, samosas with chutney, bruschetta, Butternut squash and chilli soup.

Mains Mushroom risotto, seasonal vegtable lasanga, vegetable tagine with couscous, Roasted vegetable and ricotta frittata.

I hope that helps

MadsL wrote: »

Your wedding, your rules. Try and find an amazing veggie dish you want the chef to make though. Most hotels are very poor at veggie food. Beef or Salmon is the standard wedding fair.

Maybe ask the chef to make you both a lunch with their suggested Veggie/Vegan options. Don't be afraid to go talk directly to the (ask for the Chef de Cuisine) at the hotel, don't be fobbed off with the Banqueting Manager.

Seriously this is exceptionally poor form. People go out of their way to attend weddings and usually at considerable expense. If I was invited to a wedding where the bride and groom had a take it or leave it attitude I would leave it. People are attending the venues of your choice, going on the day you choose, listening to the music you choose and all at a time you choose, surely they deserve some consideration when it comes to what is served?

Personally I often choose the vegetarian option at a wedding as it sounds tempting and also can be lighter than a meat dish, however I know a lot of people who would go hungry rather than eating a meal they dont like. You will probably lose some of your guests to the nearest fast food joint later in the evening if they dont get a meal they like. I would be of the opinion that having a choice of vegetarian and normal dishes would be best but you could also have one totally vegetarian starter.

southsiderosie · 27-08-2012 10:46PM

OP, I'm not sure where you are holding your reception, but it might be worth looking into Chinese or Indian banquet halls for your reception. South Indian food is all vegetarian, and a lot of Chinese can be prepared without meat. And if you have a 'traditional' banquet-style meal (i.e. somewhere around 20 courses), there will be so much food that your guests may not even notice that there are not meat options. Just a thought.

Italian restaurants that serve family-style meals can be an option too.

strandroad · 27-08-2012 10:48PM

Cafe Paradiso in Cork is an upmarket veggie restaurant (as opposed to the more casual veggie eateries), you can get some ideas from their menus (www.cafeparadiso.ie). I agree that goat cheese tart/mushroom risotto are very boring options at this stage!

I understand how a couple who are very conscious of their treatment of animals would not want to have them on their conscience because of the wedding; with a good, satisfying menu your guests should not feel deprived and frankly speaking, it would be rude to comment on your choice of menus.

holding · 27-08-2012 10:49PM

southsiderosie wrote: »

OP, I'm not sure where you are holding your reception, but it might be worth looking into Chinese or Indian banquet halls for your reception. South Indian food is all vegetarian, and a lot of Chinese can be prepared without meat. And if you have a 'traditional' banquet-style meal (i.e. somewhere around 20 courses), there will be so much food that your guests may not even notice that there are not meat options. Just a thought.

That's a great idea. That's the kind of food I eat when I go out to restaurants etc myself. It'll be a ruralish west of Ireland wedding so I thought I should avoid something too different from the usual wedding fare. But maybe I'm underestimating the guests - an Indian food reception would be really yum! Thanks for the inspiration

holding · 27-08-2012 10:51PM

mhge wrote: »

Cafe Paradiso in Cork is an upmarket veggie restaurant (as opposed to the more casual veggie eateries), you can get some ideas from their menus (www.cafeparadiso.ie). I agree that goat cheese tart/mushroom risotto are very boring options at this stage!

I understand how a couple who are very conscious of their treatment of animals would not want to have them on their conscience because of the wedding; with a good, satisfying menu your guests should not feel deprived and frankly speaking, it would be rude to comment on your choice of menus.

Wow that menu is full of delicious options! Might well just print this out and take it with me when we visit the hotel kitchen! Thanks a million.

ladypip · 27-08-2012 10:52PM

chatterpillar wrote: »

And I think that, if people are taking the time out of their lives and spending the money to attend your wedding, you should respect their beliefs and choices, and do your best to ensure to accommodate them.

Im sorry but really??? Should she change religion for her muslim friend or have a civil partnership ceremony to please her homosexual friends, that is how I see her beliefs.

Im not a vegetarian but I really feel strongly that people should embrace a couples beliefs, traditions & life style choices to celebrate their wedding. Im a sure that as a vegetarian the op has had to sit through a fair few crappy meals to please her carnivore friends. At least she is putting some thought into trying to please her guests.

Tescosolvakia · 27-08-2012 10:58PM

Holding,

There's a channel 4 programme called river cottage veg and the chef catered for a vegetarian wedding on the request of the bride & groom but without the knowledge of the other guests- all the guests were happy with the result. It should be available on channel 4 on demand or online. Many veg when cooked right can have the consistency of meat such as roasted peppers and mushrooms can carry alot of flavours that would normally be used with meat so the flavour will still be there.

I was a vegan for a long time & my partner was a vegetarian, when I did the food shopping I would not buy dairy as I didn't want my money to contribute to the dairy industry so I understand why a huge portion of the budget so go towards something s/he is ethically against, nor would it be fair to expect so either.

I can't link River Cottage Veg cos I'm on my phone but I do believe they also showed an Indian vegetarian wedding in the same episode which looked amazing as the food was cooked in front of the guests and was entertainment in its own right.

All the best & congrats

holding · 27-08-2012 11:00PM

That sounds wonderful, thanks for the rec, I'll check it up on the 4player now

If only HFW was the chef at my wedding, haha!

Daisy M · 27-08-2012 11:05PM

ladypip wrote: »

Im sorry but really??? Should she change religion for her muslim friend or have a civil partnership ceremony to please her homosexual friends, that is how I see her beliefs.

Im not a vegetarian but I really feel strongly that people should embrace a couples beliefs, traditions & life style choices to celebrate their wedding. Im a sure that as a vegetarian the op has had to sit through a fair few crappy meals to please her carnivore friends. At least she is putting some thought into trying to please her guests.

People have lots of different beliefs, it doesnt mean they need to incorporate them into their wedding day, it would be a tad silly if they did. As I said previously people are attending the venue of a couples choice on their chosen day and time is that not enough embracing or should guests attending a wedding expect a day of been dictated to?

Op I do acknowledge that you are putting a lot of thought into this and I would def eat most of the options given to you they sound yummy. I have given my opinion and I am going to leave it at that!! Fair play to you, you are not getting into all the squabbling the rest of us have:). I suppose I am just trying to give you an opinion that many of your guests may share so be prepared. Best of luck!!

blatantrereg · 27-08-2012 11:05PM

holding wrote: »

That sounds wonderful, thanks for the rec, I'll check it up on the 4player now If only HFW was the chef at my wedding, haha!

Post a link if you find it please

edit: Here it is: http://www.channel4.com/programmes/river-cottage/4od#3276321

holding · 27-08-2012 11:09PM

mhge wrote: »

Cafe Paradiso in Cork is an upmarket veggie restaurant (as opposed to the more casual veggie eateries), you can get some ideas from their menus (www.cafeparadiso.ie). I agree that goat cheese tart/mushroom risotto are very boring options at this stage!

You've also reminded me that I have a copy of the Cornucopia cookbook - they have a similar imaginative ethos to Cafe Paradiso I think - I wonder would the chef be annoyed if I brought the book with me! Love eating there, it's always so tasty and varied.

The Big Red Button · 27-08-2012 11:10PM

ladypip wrote: »

Im sorry but really??? Should she change religion for her muslim friend or have a civil partnership ceremony to please her homosexual friends, that is how I see her beliefs.

WTF?!

Neither of your examples are comparable! At all! The ceremony itself is between the OP and his/her fiancé(e) - I honestly don't even understand what point you're trying to make here?!

ladypip wrote: »

Im not a vegetarian but I really feel strongly that people should embrace a couples beliefs, traditions & life style choices to celebrate their wedding. Im a sure that as a vegetarian the op has had to sit through a fair few crappy meals to please her carnivore friends. At least she is putting some thought into trying to please her guests.

Oh, so it's payback, that because (s)he's had to sit through sub-standard meals as a result of being vegetarian, it's understandable to put guests through the same?

I'd actually understand it more if the OP was a real "foodie" type, and had some great ideas for food for the guests. But it honestly doesn't seem that way, at all.

The facts are that hotel wedding food isn't usually great - and that the vegetarian courses are even worse! Why put guests through that?

If your concerned about the animals - bear in mind that, if the guests hadn't taken the time to attend your wedding, chances are they'd have been eating meat anyways. So it's not like more animals are being killed just for this occasion - your conscience is clear.

I don't even eat all that much meat myself, tbh. But I think it's only right to respect the choices of others - and especially when they're your guests.

strandroad · 27-08-2012 11:13PM

In fairness, the OP is trying to find great menus. And even if you serve meat, you won't please everyone - you will have a meat and two veg brigade, a haute cuisine brigade and a fast food brigade and someone will always prefer something different to what they are offered. The couple may just as well go with their beliefs.

artyeva · 27-08-2012 11:14PM

op, that menu from paradiso looks divine. i've had some awful disasters of vegetarian meals at irish weddings over the years - i wish some hotels would take it a bit more seriously and not lob it onto the menu as an after thought.

and ignore the people who are anonmously giving out to you here for choosing to serve what you want on your wedding day!!!! do people really think that they have the right to be ''offended'' or ''put out'' that for one day out of their life there's no maaaaaaate on their plate?!! it's hardly going to kill them :rolleyes:

blatantrereg · 27-08-2012 11:16PM

chatterpillar wrote: »

I think it's only right to respect the choices of others - and especially when they're your guests.

Do you see how you are being ironic saying that?

Would you expect Muslims or Jews to serve pork, or Hindus to serve beef?

You dont need meat to make nice food (or to make food nice).

pwurple · 27-08-2012 11:24PM

I see someone else has suggested ideas from cafe paradiso... This is hands down my fav restaurant in Cork City, and I am not a vegetarian by a long shot. However, that chef has had decades of practice with veg selection and cooking, and you are hoping for a one off with yours. I would be nervous.

Would your venue be agreeable to you using outside caterers? There are bound to be some wedding caterers that can be reccomended by the people in cafe paradiso.

niallu · 27-08-2012 11:25PM

I definitely wouldn't be happy with this.

Everybody is entitled to there beliefs / own choices so vegetarianism shouldn't be forced on all of the guests.

Reminds me of the show come dine with me. If I went out of my way to cook 2 dishes( one for a veggie & one for the carnivores) and in return if the vegetarian cooked me a dish without meat it would definitely be a zero point for them!

Vegetarian Wedding

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