Who is the biggest tosser you have ever met?

El Weirdo · 26-08-2012 02:30AM #1

Jesus Christ. I have just spent 20 minutes talking to possibly the biggest fucking tosser I think I have ever had the misfortune to meet in my entire life.

If he managed to shoe horn the fact that he was a barrister into the conversation once, he must have managed to shoe horn it in twenty fucking times. All the while telling me how he loved coming to "this small little village in the middle of nowhere" because "no one gives a damn what what you do and everyone is on the same level".

If that's the case, stop telling me that you're a barrister and you regularly drink champagne with bankers in some tosspot cunt of a seafood restaurant in London's West End!

What. A. Fucking. Arsehole.

I very rarely start threads, but this wanker has inspired me. Who is the biggest tosser you have met, and why?

frag420 · 26-08-2012 02:33AM

Have you never been to a seafood restaurant??

DrumSteve · 26-08-2012 02:36AM

in before bono.

ITS_A_BADGER · 26-08-2012 02:41AM

I used to work for a hotel chain and it was a very busy time of year, i was a bartender and we were not doing food that week because of overcrowding at the bar and were only doing food in the restaurant, so this bigshot with his stuckup pal were drinking pints at the bar and wanted food in the bar and i apoligized and told em we werent doing food in the bar this week only in the restaurant next then then he goes we'll see about that and stuffs a fiver into my shirt pocket and i politely declined and gave it back to him, he got thick and went off to the restaurant then, i swear some people think that service staff can be brought because we are there to serve them and therefore you're mud! that why i hate rich people that think they are above everyone the worst offerders are the faux rich people

DEFTLEFTHAND · 26-08-2012 02:42AM

Was he a junior or senior counsel? A lot of the juniors like to play up to the status of being a high falluting lawman. In reality the majority of these chaps make sh1t money and struggle for years to build up a reputation.

leggo · 26-08-2012 02:48AM

Dunno about the biggest, this one came to mind when I saw the thread though:

I remember I was out in a nightclub and went to the smoking area. As you do, ended up getting chatting to this girl who seemed refreshingly down-to-earth in what was a very uppity spot, filled with people who thought they were it. If I hadn't been there for a friend's birthday, I'd have left after a few minutes truth be told. Anyway, I wasn't chatting her up and nor was she, but we started to click and whatnot, to the point that she gave me her number without me even really asking.

The night was looking up...until her boyfriend came out. A pure, Belvo, rugger bugger. Think every stereotype you see in Damo (of 'and Ivor' fame). After giving us the whole, "What's this?!?" look, he spent the next half an hour telling me about how he was captain of the school rugby team and was destined for greatness with the Ireland side (no joke, he actually said that without being asked). It wasn't a case of if, but when. All the while, the girl is giving me apologetic looks and cringing behind his back. I fueled his ego, giving him loads of banal platitudes like, "If you believe it, you can be it," and that ****e, of course his ego so big that he didn't realise I was taking the piss as he said, "Yah man, you're dead roysh!"

Eventually I made my excuses and left. I never bothered using the number, tbh.

Savage Tyrant · 26-08-2012 02:48AM

Biggest tosser I ever met was Paul Gascoigne, and when I met him, at an airport, I said "Gazza, you're a fúckin arséhole!"
I wish now, just for this thread, I'd called him a tosser.

senorwipesalot · 26-08-2012 02:49AM

Why was Gayburns deleted OP?
Met him.
Tosser.

krd · 26-08-2012 02:51AM

Cock of the walk types. They are just cocks.

LETHAL LADY · 26-08-2012 02:59AM

His name was Sampson of the belly and he was the welly boot throwing champion of Galbally garden fete.

Savage Tyrant · 26-08-2012 03:00AM

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

His name was Sampson of the belly and he was the welly boot throwing champion of Galbally garden fete.

Met him. Some tosser alright!

marshbaboon · 26-08-2012 03:04AM

Lars Ulrich. My GOD what a complete and utter stain on humanity.

ITS_A_BADGER · 26-08-2012 03:05AM

leggo wrote: »

Dunno about the biggest, this one came to mind when I saw the thread though:

I remember I was out in a nightclub and went to the smoking area. As you do, ended up getting chatting to this girl who seemed refreshingly down-to-earth in what was a very uppity spot, filled with people who thought they were it. If I hadn't been there for a friend's birthday, I'd have left after a few minutes truth be told. Anyway, I wasn't chatting her up and nor was she, but we started to click and whatnot, to the point that she gave me her number without me even really asking.

The night was looking up...until her boyfriend came out. A pure, Belvo, rugger bugger. Think every stereotype you see in Damo (of 'and Ivor' fame). After giving us the whole, "What's this?!?" look, he spent the next half an hour telling me about how he was captain of the school rugby team and was destined for greatness with the Ireland side (no joke, he actually said that without being asked). It wasn't a case of if, but when. All the while, the girl is giving me apologetic looks and cringing behind his back. I fueled his ego, giving him loads of banal platitudes like, "If you believe it, you can be it," and that ****e, of course his ego so big that he didn't realise I was taking the piss as he said, "Yah man, you're dead roysh!"

Eventually I made my excuses and left. I never bothered using the number, tbh.

dude text her that girl could be the one!

harney · 26-08-2012 03:16AM

DrumSteve wrote: »

in before bono.

Why, are you afraid that Bono is going to call you the biggest tosser he ever met?

SuperInfinity · 26-08-2012 03:16AM

El Weirdo wrote: »

Jesus Christ. I have just spent 20 minutes talking to possibly the biggest fucking tosser I think I have ever had the misfortune to meet in my entire life.

If he managed to shoe horn the fact that he was a barrister into the conversation once, he must have managed to shoe horn it in twenty fucking times. All the while telling me how he loved coming to "this small little village in the middle of nowhere" because "no one gives a damn what what you do and everyone is on the same level".

If that's the case, stop telling me that you're a barrister and you regularly drink champagne with bankers in some tosspot cunt of a seafood restaurant in London's West End!

What. A. Fucking. Arsehole.

I very rarely start threads, but this wanker has inspired me. Who is the biggest tosser you have met, and why?

Jesus, I'll keep it to myself from now on!

1ZRed · 26-08-2012 03:16AM

I never meet any.. I am the biggest tosser I knows

cian68 · 26-08-2012 03:21AM

'do you know (names some girl who was in his year)?'
'no'
'she used to go out with Luke Fitzgerald'
'oh...' tosser

Galwayguy35 · 26-08-2012 03:26AM

Two cases come to mind, first one was was last Christmas Eve as we were waiting at the pass machine to draw out money. This guy comes along shouting at everyone that he is in a hurry and demands to jump ahead of everyone else. He proceeded along until he came to the guy at the front of the queue was about 6'5" and wasn't long shutting up when this guy stared him down.

The second case was some skanger shouting at me in the street to give him money.

opinion guy · 26-08-2012 03:29AM

Ah, weirdo man, too many to count!

mauzo · 26-08-2012 03:29AM

ITS_A_BADGER wrote: »

I used to work for a hotel chain and it was a very busy time of year, i was a bartender and we were not doing food that week because of overcrowding at the bar and were only doing food in the restaurant, so this bigshot with his stuckup pal were drinking pints at the bar and wanted food in the bar and i apoligized and told em we werent doing food in the bar this week only in the restaurant next then then he goes we'll see about that and stuffs a fiver into my shirt pocket and i politely declined and gave it back to him, he got thick and went off to the restaurant then, i swear some people think that service staff can be brought because we are there to serve them and therefore you're mud! that why i hate rich people that think they are above everyone the worst offerders are the faux rich people

Damn rich people and their fivers :P

marshbaboon · 26-08-2012 03:30AM

mauzo wrote: »

Damn rich people and their fivers :P

I can't even remember the last time I had paper money!

1ZRed · 26-08-2012 03:36AM

marshbaboon wrote: »

I can't even remember the last time I had paper money!

I exchange my services for goods. But I don't take money.

So it's alright, I ain't no ho :cool:

ITS_A_BADGER · 26-08-2012 03:37AM

mauzo wrote: »

Damn rich people and their fivers :P

well considering he had brought his wife and her crowd at another table three 50euro bottles of champagne and like 5-6 gins and tonics and his own and his mates pints im surprised myself at the fiver, but it wouldnt have made any differnce anyway

doolox · 26-08-2012 03:45AM

Judge not lest thou shalt be judged.

Biggest tosser I ever met was ......those who ask a thousand pointless questions at the top of a LONG queue... do they ever look behind them and realise they are delaying other people and know that the service provider is too polite to tell them to hurry up and move along.....

also slow people at traffic lights, especially fast on green and quickly back to red ones where every SECOND counts....

people who do several transactions at post office counters hogging up the counter for a LONG time and then engaging the counter staff in idle smalltalk as if nobody is behind them!!!

people who block church exits on meeting their friends, engaging them in pointless chit-chat while blocking the way for other people who want to get away quickly to other parts of their lives in good time.

Time is the present day hard currency and scarce commodity, do not let people waste yours or give yours away, fight for every second you have...

JONJO THE MISER · 26-08-2012 03:47AM

My bother in law a ****, hopefully death wont be far away for him.

Lapin · 26-08-2012 03:57AM

Bertie.

Allyall · 26-08-2012 03:58AM

Had a long boring post.

Long story short, Some Irish model. Don't know her name. She was more of a tosser then any of the hundreds i have met in my lifetime.

Complained because her designer dress/scarf part of dress, flopped into my pint, and tried to get me thrown out.
I wasn't, so she complained more, until she decided to leave, complaining about the place.
She was kind of hot, but my fúcking God, she was a tosser. Made a big scene. After she left, about 20 randomers came up to me. One girl reckoned the dress was rented or on loan, that's what the fuss was about..

Adyx · 26-08-2012 04:06AM

There's so many it's hard to choose just one. There's a few DJs up there (although most are sound), not famous ones. A few bands as well actually, definitely Aslan - a whole band of tossers. It's funny actually, we had a band called Amoric playing tonight and they're not only much better than Aslan but they're really cool and friendly too.

mauzo · 26-08-2012 04:15AM

Adyx wrote: »

There's so many it's hard to choose just one. There's a few DJs up there (although most are sound), not famous ones. A few bands as well actually, definitely Aslan - a whole band of tossers. It's funny actually, we had a band called Amoric playing tonight and they're not only much better than Aslan but they're really cool and friendly too.

Have to say I'm shocked you said aslan. I've met them and drank with them a few times and think they are such genuine, funny lads. I think they are hilarious, and very very down to earth.

Reminds me of the time I was in my local. A famous band were there because its the singers local too. One of my friends met him in the toilet and said Jesus haven't seen you here since you got famous. He then went on to say how much he hated the other lads in the band and everyone in the pub thinks they are knobs.

Out they walked from the toilets lol

girl in the striped socks · 26-08-2012 04:18AM

mauzo wrote: »

Adyx wrote: »

There's so many it's hard to choose just one. There's a few DJs up there (although most are sound), not famous ones. A few bands as well actually, definitely Aslan - a whole band of tossers. It's funny actually, we had a band called Amoric playing tonight and they're not only much better than Aslan but they're really cool and friendly too.

Have to say I'm shocked you said aslan. I've met them and drank with them a few times and think they are such genuine, funny lads. I think they are hilarious, and very very down to earth.

Reminds me of the time I was in my local. A famous band were there because its the singers local too. One of my friends met him in the toilet and said Jesus haven't seen you here since you got famous. He then went on to say how much he hated the other lads in the band and everyone in the pub thinks they are knobs.

Out they walked from the toilets lol

Name the band of gtfo.
Seriously.

LaVail · 26-08-2012 04:22AM

mauzo wrote: »

Have to say I'm shocked you said aslan. I've met them and drank with them a few times and think they are such genuine, funny lads. I think they are hilarious, and very very down to earth.

Reminds me of the time I was in my local. A famous band were there because its the singers local too. One of my friends met him in the toilet and said Jesus haven't seen you here since you got famous. He then went on to say how much he hated the other lads in the band and everyone in the pub thinks they are knobs.

Out they walked from the toilets lol

Was drinking with aslan in ballybunion one time and though they were some of the most down to earth people I ever had a pint with. Very normal guys as far as I could tell.

Biggest tosser I ever met was the mayor of Galway but I don't even remember his name as it was a good few years ago..I was caddying for Ben Dunne (very down to earth I may add) and he was out with us in the same group but he was so full of **** it was just terrible.

Who is the biggest tosser you have ever met?

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