Who is the biggest tosser you have ever met?

El Weirdo

Jesus Christ. I have just spent 20 minutes talking to possibly the biggest fucking tosser I think I have ever had the misfortune to meet in my entire life.

If he managed to shoe horn the fact that he was a barrister into the conversation once, he must have managed to shoe horn it in twenty fucking times. All the while telling me how he loved coming to "this small little village in the middle of nowhere" because "no one gives a damn what what you do and everyone is on the same level".

If that's the case, stop telling me that you're a barrister and you regularly drink champagne with bankers in some tosspot cunt of a seafood restaurant in London's West End!

What. A. Fucking. Arsehole.

I very rarely start threads, but this wanker has inspired me. Who is the biggest tosser you have met, and why?

frag420

Have you never been to a seafood restaurant??

DrumSteve

in before bono.

ITS_A_BADGER

I used to work for a hotel chain and it was a very busy time of year, i was a bartender and we were not doing food that week because of overcrowding at the bar and were only doing food in the restaurant, so this bigshot with his stuckup pal were drinking pints at the bar and wanted food in the bar and i apoligized and told em we werent doing food in the bar this week only in the restaurant next then then he goes we'll see about that and stuffs a fiver into my shirt pocket and i politely declined and gave it back to him, he got thick and went off to the restaurant then, i swear some people think that service staff can be brought because we are there to serve them and therefore you're mud! that why i hate rich people that think they are above everyone the worst offerders are the faux rich people

DEFTLEFTHAND

Was he a junior or senior counsel? A lot of the juniors like to play up to the status of being a high falluting lawman. In reality the majority of these chaps make sh1t money and struggle for years to build up a reputation.

leggo

Dunno about the biggest, this one came to mind when I saw the thread though:

I remember I was out in a nightclub and went to the smoking area. As you do, ended up getting chatting to this girl who seemed refreshingly down-to-earth in what was a very uppity spot, filled with people who thought they were it. If I hadn't been there for a friend's birthday, I'd have left after a few minutes truth be told. Anyway, I wasn't chatting her up and nor was she, but we started to click and whatnot, to the point that she gave me her number without me even really asking.

The night was looking up...until her boyfriend came out. A pure, Belvo, rugger bugger. Think every stereotype you see in Damo (of 'and Ivor' fame). After giving us the whole, "What's this?!?" look, he spent the next half an hour telling me about how he was captain of the school rugby team and was destined for greatness with the Ireland side (no joke, he actually said that without being asked). It wasn't a case of if, but when. All the while, the girl is giving me apologetic looks and cringing behind his back. I fueled his ego, giving him loads of banal platitudes like, "If you believe it, you can be it," and that ****e, of course his ego so big that he didn't realise I was taking the piss as he said, "Yah man, you're dead roysh!"

Eventually I made my excuses and left. I never bothered using the number, tbh.

Savage Tyrant

Biggest tosser I ever met was Paul Gascoigne, and when I met him, at an airport, I said "Gazza, you're a fúckin arséhole!"
I wish now, just for this thread, I'd called him a tosser.

senorwipesalot

Why was Gayburns deleted OP?
Met him.
Tosser.

krd

Cock of the walk types. They are just cocks.

LETHAL LADY

His name was Sampson of the belly and he was the welly boot throwing champion of Galbally garden fete.

Savage Tyrant

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

His name was Sampson of the belly and he was the welly boot throwing champion of Galbally garden fete.

Met him. Some tosser alright!

marshbaboon

Lars Ulrich. My GOD what a complete and utter stain on humanity.

ITS_A_BADGER

leggo wrote: »

Dunno about the biggest, this one came to mind when I saw the thread though:

I remember I was out in a nightclub and went to the smoking area. As you do, ended up getting chatting to this girl who seemed refreshingly down-to-earth in what was a very uppity spot, filled with people who thought they were it. If I hadn't been there for a friend's birthday, I'd have left after a few minutes truth be told. Anyway, I wasn't chatting her up and nor was she, but we started to click and whatnot, to the point that she gave me her number without me even really asking.

The night was looking up...until her boyfriend came out. A pure, Belvo, rugger bugger. Think every stereotype you see in Damo (of 'and Ivor' fame). After giving us the whole, "What's this?!?" look, he spent the next half an hour telling me about how he was captain of the school rugby team and was destined for greatness with the Ireland side (no joke, he actually said that without being asked). It wasn't a case of if, but when. All the while, the girl is giving me apologetic looks and cringing behind his back. I fueled his ego, giving him loads of banal platitudes like, "If you believe it, you can be it," and that ****e, of course his ego so big that he didn't realise I was taking the piss as he said, "Yah man, you're dead roysh!"

Eventually I made my excuses and left. I never bothered using the number, tbh.

dude text her that girl could be the one!

harney

DrumSteve wrote: »

in before bono.

Why, are you afraid that Bono is going to call you the biggest tosser he ever met?

SuperInfinity

El Weirdo wrote: »

Jesus Christ. I have just spent 20 minutes talking to possibly the biggest fucking tosser I think I have ever had the misfortune to meet in my entire life.

If he managed to shoe horn the fact that he was a barrister into the conversation once, he must have managed to shoe horn it in twenty fucking times. All the while telling me how he loved coming to "this small little village in the middle of nowhere" because "no one gives a damn what what you do and everyone is on the same level".

If that's the case, stop telling me that you're a barrister and you regularly drink champagne with bankers in some tosspot cunt of a seafood restaurant in London's West End!

What. A. Fucking. Arsehole.

I very rarely start threads, but this wanker has inspired me. Who is the biggest tosser you have met, and why?

Jesus, I'll keep it to myself from now on!

1ZRed

I never meet any.. I am the biggest tosser I knows

cian68

'do you know (names some girl who was in his year)?'
'no'
'she used to go out with Luke Fitzgerald'
'oh...' tosser

Galwayguy35

Two cases come to mind, first one was was last Christmas Eve as we were waiting at the pass machine to draw out money. This guy comes along shouting at everyone that he is in a hurry and demands to jump ahead of everyone else. He proceeded along until he came to the guy at the front of the queue was about 6'5" and wasn't long shutting up when this guy stared him down.

The second case was some skanger shouting at me in the street to give him money.

opinion guy

Ah, weirdo man, too many to count!

mauzo

ITS_A_BADGER wrote: »

I used to work for a hotel chain and it was a very busy time of year, i was a bartender and we were not doing food that week because of overcrowding at the bar and were only doing food in the restaurant, so this bigshot with his stuckup pal were drinking pints at the bar and wanted food in the bar and i apoligized and told em we werent doing food in the bar this week only in the restaurant next then then he goes we'll see about that and stuffs a fiver into my shirt pocket and i politely declined and gave it back to him, he got thick and went off to the restaurant then, i swear some people think that service staff can be brought because we are there to serve them and therefore you're mud! that why i hate rich people that think they are above everyone the worst offerders are the faux rich people

Damn rich people and their fivers :P

marshbaboon

mauzo wrote: »

Damn rich people and their fivers :P

I can't even remember the last time I had paper money!

1ZRed

marshbaboon wrote: »

I can't even remember the last time I had paper money!

I exchange my services for goods. But I don't take money.

So it's alright, I ain't no ho :cool:

ITS_A_BADGER

mauzo wrote: »

Damn rich people and their fivers :P

well considering he had brought his wife and her crowd at another table three 50euro bottles of champagne and like 5-6 gins and tonics and his own and his mates pints im surprised myself at the fiver, but it wouldnt have made any differnce anyway

doolox

Judge not lest thou shalt be judged.

Biggest tosser I ever met was ......those who ask a thousand pointless questions at the top of a LONG queue... do they ever look behind them and realise they are delaying other people and know that the service provider is too polite to tell them to hurry up and move along.....

also slow people at traffic lights, especially fast on green and quickly back to red ones where every SECOND counts....

people who do several transactions at post office counters hogging up the counter for a LONG time and then engaging the counter staff in idle smalltalk as if nobody is behind them!!!

people who block church exits on meeting their friends, engaging them in pointless chit-chat while blocking the way for other people who want to get away quickly to other parts of their lives in good time.

Time is the present day hard currency and scarce commodity, do not let people waste yours or give yours away, fight for every second you have...

JONJO THE MISER

My bother in law a ****, hopefully death wont be far away for him.

Lapin

Bertie.

Allyall

Had a long boring post.

Long story short, Some Irish model. Don't know her name. She was more of a tosser then any of the hundreds i have met in my lifetime.

Complained because her designer dress/scarf part of dress, flopped into my pint, and tried to get me thrown out.
I wasn't, so she complained more, until she decided to leave, complaining about the place.
She was kind of hot, but my fúcking God, she was a tosser. Made a big scene. After she left, about 20 randomers came up to me. One girl reckoned the dress was rented or on loan, that's what the fuss was about..

Adyx

There's so many it's hard to choose just one. There's a few DJs up there (although most are sound), not famous ones. A few bands as well actually, definitely Aslan - a whole band of tossers. It's funny actually, we had a band called Amoric playing tonight and they're not only much better than Aslan but they're really cool and friendly too.

mauzo

Adyx wrote: »

There's so many it's hard to choose just one. There's a few DJs up there (although most are sound), not famous ones. A few bands as well actually, definitely Aslan - a whole band of tossers. It's funny actually, we had a band called Amoric playing tonight and they're not only much better than Aslan but they're really cool and friendly too.

Have to say I'm shocked you said aslan. I've met them and drank with them a few times and think they are such genuine, funny lads. I think they are hilarious, and very very down to earth.

Reminds me of the time I was in my local. A famous band were there because its the singers local too. One of my friends met him in the toilet and said Jesus haven't seen you here since you got famous. He then went on to say how much he hated the other lads in the band and everyone in the pub thinks they are knobs.

Out they walked from the toilets lol

girl in the striped socks

mauzo wrote: »

Adyx wrote: »

There's so many it's hard to choose just one. There's a few DJs up there (although most are sound), not famous ones. A few bands as well actually, definitely Aslan - a whole band of tossers. It's funny actually, we had a band called Amoric playing tonight and they're not only much better than Aslan but they're really cool and friendly too.

Have to say I'm shocked you said aslan. I've met them and drank with them a few times and think they are such genuine, funny lads. I think they are hilarious, and very very down to earth.

Reminds me of the time I was in my local. A famous band were there because its the singers local too. One of my friends met him in the toilet and said Jesus haven't seen you here since you got famous. He then went on to say how much he hated the other lads in the band and everyone in the pub thinks they are knobs.

Out they walked from the toilets lol

Name the band of gtfo.
Seriously.

LaVail

mauzo wrote: »

Have to say I'm shocked you said aslan. I've met them and drank with them a few times and think they are such genuine, funny lads. I think they are hilarious, and very very down to earth.

Reminds me of the time I was in my local. A famous band were there because its the singers local too. One of my friends met him in the toilet and said Jesus haven't seen you here since you got famous. He then went on to say how much he hated the other lads in the band and everyone in the pub thinks they are knobs.

Out they walked from the toilets lol

Was drinking with aslan in ballybunion one time and though they were some of the most down to earth people I ever had a pint with. Very normal guys as far as I could tell.

Biggest tosser I ever met was the mayor of Galway but I don't even remember his name as it was a good few years ago..I was caddying for Ben Dunne (very down to earth I may add) and he was out with us in the same group but he was so full of **** it was just terrible.

Adyx

mauzo wrote: »

Have to say I'm shocked you said aslan. I've met them and drank with them a few times and think they are such genuine, funny lads. I think they are hilarious, and very very down to earth.

Reminds me of the time I was in my local. A famous band were there because its the singers local too. One of my friends met him in the toilet and said Jesus haven't seen you here since you got famous. He then went on to say how much he hated the other lads in the band and everyone in the pub thinks they are knobs.

Out they walked from the toilets lol

Maybe I caught them on a bad day then, or maybe barstaff are beneath them. :pac:

To be honest a lot of musicians can be like that sometimes (and I say that as a bass player myself). I actually go out of my way to avoid my local music instrument stores cause I always felt they were looking down on me cause I wasn't part of the local musos clique.

Obviously working in a bar means I tend to meet more than my fair share of Joe Public tossers too.

LaVail

Adyx wrote: »

Maybe I caught them on a bad day then, or maybe barstaff are beneath them. :pac:

To be honest a lot of musicians can be like that sometimes (and I say that as a bass player myself). I actually go out of my way to avoid my local music instrument stores cause I always felt they were looking down on me cause I wasn't part of the local musos clique.

Obviously working in a bar means I tend to meet more than my fair share of Joe Public tossers too.

The night I was drinking with aslan in ballybunion they had played a gig there and all through the night people I knew kept stealing Christy's shoes and asking him if he wanted heroin trying to be "funny".. If it was me I would have lost it but he even chatted to the same fckers after the show that tried to ruin his night. Very nice guy and maybe he was just having a bad night when you met him.

mauzo

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

Name the band of gtfo.
Seriously.

Someones socks are in a twist tonight.....

Seeing as you asked ever so politely, twas the script

Duck Soup

A certain Northern Irish ex Formula 1 driver. Spent half a day in his company when he was doing some promotional shyte. Went out of his way to be a tosser. The girls who had been assigned to him as handlers took it in alternate two hour shifts, as no one could stand his company for longer than that.

Mr Blobby

My Hand......

LaVail

blobby360 wrote: »

My Hand......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGwwEzefyAw

Father Damo

mauzo wrote: »

Someones socks are in a twist tonight.....

Seeing as you asked ever so politely, twas the script

I thought you said a famous band!

mauzo

Father Damo wrote: »

mauzo wrote: »

Someones socks are in a twist tonight.....

Seeing as you asked ever so politely, twas the script

I thought you said a famous band!

Yeah, I didn't see that witty reply coming at all.

Nodin

marshbaboon wrote: »

Lars Ulrich. My GOD what a complete and utter stain on humanity.

Do please expand.

Ulysses Gaze

Four or five people I went to school with.

Meeting them ten years after I've left just reaffirms that they were, are and always will be tossers of the highest order.

Peter85

Ulysses Gaze wrote: »

Four or five people I went to school with.

Meeting them ten years after I've left just reaffirms that they were, are and always will be tossers of the highest order.

Im sure Ulysses Gaze

zcorpian88

marshbaboon wrote: »

Lars Ulrich. My GOD what a complete and utter stain on humanity.

Do tell, please do tell

Sunnyisland

My cousin he must be the obnoxious person I ever met, Its actually quite fascinating listening to him at the start as Your thinking Is this person a real human being.

telecaster

LaVail wrote: »

all through the night people I knew kept stealing Christy's shoes...

You steal one shoe, then the other.....surely the game can't last through the night?

Duckworth_Luas

I once had to sit beside Cork radio presenter Neil Prendeville on an Aer Lingus flight from Lindon. What a tosser!

Ted!

marshbaboon wrote: »

Lars Ulrich. My GOD what a complete and utter stain on humanity.

He gave us One and it was amazing!

Stunning double pounding, with passion, showing amazing dexterity and so for that, I'll forgive him all.

Oh and he's good at the drums too.

bobbytables

ITS_A_BADGER wrote: »

he goes we'll see about that and stuffs a fiver into my shirt pocket and i politely declined and gave it back to him, he got thick and went off to the restaurant then

I think the best way to treat people like that is to beat them with their own sh1t,
E.g. respond in a condescending tone, stating that a fiver is a lot less tha what most other patrons would have offered you in similar circumstances.

Exploit people like that to your advantage. Especially in front of their mates.

That'll learn them.

ollkiller

Ted! wrote: »

He gave us One and it was amazing!

Stunning double pounding, with passion, showing amazing dexterity and so for that, I'll forgive him all.

Oh and he's good at the drums too.

He's one of the worst drummers out there. When Lombardo filled in for him when he was injured the difference was amazing. Lars is a joke drummer.

Biggest tosser. Padraig Flynn. Boy did he think he **** smelt like roses.

marshbaboon

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Do tell, please do tell

Nodin wrote: »

Do please expand.

Not just him tbh, the whole band from my experience. Got a call from their PR guy when I was working in an Airport hotel in the early hours. They wanted to book out a wing of the hotel so they could have a shower before flying out on their private jet after a gig.

Their contact had said he wanted to make sure no one would know they were there, because they wanted some privacy. They strolled in through a crowd of people, surrounded by roadies... and what I'm guessing were bodyguards... sat down in the lobby, and when two guys that had been to the gig came over to ask them for an autograph James & Lars just did a shooing motion with their hands and told them to f*ck off.

Where do you think the money for your private jet came from...
Absolute d*ckheads...

Cantona's Collars

One of the biggest I met is a cop,he's married to a friend & he loves to tell everyone he's a cop.Most guards I know don't broadcast the fact when they are off duty.This guy can't help himself,he thinks it makes him more important than everyone else.

One night we were all in a nightclub & there was a bit of a scrap,of course Robocop waded in shouting "I'm a guard".One of my mates turned to him & said "I don't give a fcuk who you are,get out of my way or I'll knock you out too".

He went off & spent the rest of the night sulking.

I don't have much dealings with him now but from what I've heard he's managed to become an even bigger tosser than ever.