Biggest animal you could Beat in fight to death.

Duckworth_Luas · 13-08-2012 12:36AM

I'd take a dinosaur! Any dinosaurs out there want to rumble? Didn't think so, cowards!

Melanoma · 13-08-2012 12:37AM

I could kill a bacteria with my hard core white blood cells. I'd be like lads cant we all just get along but you know those feckless fellows take no prisoners. They be like Lawrence of Arabia in that film. I don't know though maybe one day I will be reincarnated n take up the life of a tiger. Then I could walk around all proud n be like see there my teeth and claws but I think I'd just eat when I was hungry and not worry about what was the biggest thing I could kill.

2 stroke · 13-08-2012 12:37AM

A dodo.

Inscrutable · 13-08-2012 12:40AM

I reckon I could kill a honey badger.

Duckworth_Luas · 13-08-2012 12:49AM

Inscrutable wrote: »

I reckon I could kill a honey badger.

Have you got a nuclear missile?

sheesh · 13-08-2012 01:11AM

I believe I would come in somewhere between a 3 toed sloth and a giant ant eater

I'd have to fall on it obviously

kowloon · 13-08-2012 01:19AM

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Rat yes, cat yes, though nasty scratches wouldn't be nice. Not sure about dogs, I reckon I might have a chance against a Labrador. By all accounts I'd have no chance against a monkey. Very vicious animals.

It depends on the Monkey in question.

ScumLord · 13-08-2012 01:40AM

Melanoma wrote: »

I could kill a bacteria with my hard core white blood cells.

I'd rather face a multi-celled organism that has a brain and understands fear than Bacteria or viruses. They still rule the roost when it comes to deadly living things and they simply don't give a flying fudge about us or their own well being. We live with the most deadly bacteria on a daily basis it's only when they take a disliking to their surroundings (they're in a different part of the body than they're used too) that they become deadly. Everyone reading this thread is riddled with E. coli.

Reindeer · 13-08-2012 02:11AM

This sort of reminds me of the saying, "It's not the dog in the fight, but the fight in the dog". In our woefully sedate lives, we have not conditioned ourselves for any sort of fight, really. When one breaks out, even among rivals, it rarely ends up in serious injury or fatalities. How many here have fought for their very lives? The difference being is that when a human engages a wild animal in combat - that animal often will fight for it's very life, it rarely will be pulling punches, and it isn't likely the first time it has ever done so. If that animal does not seek an escape route at the first opportunity, that human is in for a rough ride. If that human is the target, heaven help them.

The jaws on a large dog and the claws on tigers are capable of ripping limbs from your body, and are far sharper than we often imagine. I work in dog rescue every chance I get, and I have several scars and stitches as proof, all from frightened or startled animals bent on defense, not on attacking. I nearly lost a nose and a finger. And neither of those animals were trying anything more than a warning nip. Had they chosen that moment to attack me, it would have been a life-changing experience for me at the very least. And they weren't even half my size.

Without weapons and the skills and the will to use them, our chances against most real tooth and nail animals is not very good, one on one.

dlofnep · 13-08-2012 02:17AM

LOL @ taking out a Tiger with a knife.

Do you know how immensely powerful Tigers are? They would sever your neck in a split second before you could even think about stabbing them.

I think I'd have a chance against most domestic dogs - but wolves are a different story. They are tenacious hunters, who would die in attempt to taking down their prey.

Humans are soft, we are not ready for combat. Put a human of today, up against the likes of Homo Heidelbergensis, and we'd be ripped into two pieces.

Whatsisname · 13-08-2012 02:39AM

A grizzly bear. Twice.

J. Marston · 13-08-2012 03:20AM

A Walrus maybe. I'd have the speed and maneuverability advantage definitely so I could stick and move with kicks and punches. Beating it to death would take a while though.

But if it gets me with those tusks, I'm fúcked.

Dangerous Man · 13-08-2012 03:31AM

I could beat one of those big turtles to death fairly handy I'd imagine. If it decided to hide in its shell I could flip it over and stamp on it until it died.

chasm · 13-08-2012 04:24AM

A spider, as long as i had the option to use a shoe or boot

Duff · 13-08-2012 04:42AM

I'd say I could bate the shíte out of a rabbit.

--Kaiser-- · 13-08-2012 09:03AM

dlofnep wrote: »

Humans are soft, we are not ready for combat. Put a human of today, up against the likes of Homo Heidelbergensis, and we'd be ripped into two pieces.

Modern humans in western societies, soft? Yeah, most of them.

Humans as a species, soft? Not at all, we've spent hundreds of thousands of years being apex predators. Top of the food chain. There are no apex predators that could be referred to as soft

Kolido · 13-08-2012 10:42AM

ScumLord wrote: »

Most animals work on the principle of bigger is better. Humans have the advantage of height due to standing upright and being known in the animal kingdom for being extremely dangerous. You'd be hard pushed to find an animal that's going to want to start a fight with a human on a one on one basis. Even Lions and tigers will give humans a wide berth.

People might say a straight fight without weapons but that's like telling a lion he has to fight without using his teeth and claws. If we can use our human weapons there isn't an animal on the planet just about any human couldn't beat.

I think a lot of girls follow this principle also!

Surely in a fight w/out weapons, a lion's teeth and claws would not be considered a foriegn object. Would'nt that be like telling the humans not to use their arms?

cowzerp · 13-08-2012 11:01AM

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Modern humans in western societies, soft? Yeah, most of them.

Humans as a species, soft? Not at all, we've spent hundreds of thousands of years being apex predators. Top of the food chain. There are no apex predators that could be referred to as soft

That's down to intelligence, Human's are soft and if it was not down to intelligence to use weapons etc humans would be useless predators.

Bruce7 · 13-08-2012 11:08AM

BUBBLE WRAP wrote: »

Twink.

I was on the Dart a few years ago and overheard a conversation between two stage hands at the Olympia - both real old school Dubs. It was around Christmas time and Twink was starring in the panto. One of them was telling the other one how she kept coming on to him. He was doing something with the lights one day and she came over to tell him how she wanted to be lit, and ended up climbing up a ladder in front of him to show him the angle she wanted a light to be at. She was wearing a short skirt and no knickers and looked down and winked at him as she gave him a flash of her growler.

"Jaysus!" your man's mate said, in disgust. "What did it look like?"

"Like Ronnie Drew got shot in the face!"

Washington Irving · 13-08-2012 11:10AM

A rhino

paddyandy · 13-08-2012 11:26AM

No Animal in the Wild can be successfully fought by a man with bare hands .Tame ones can be easy targets and Tortoises .Do i forget something ?

Ghost Buster · 13-08-2012 11:28AM

A billy goat. They look big and have those big menacing horns but they are pussys. I grew up on a farm and aged ten i could wrestle a full grown billy goat to the ground. Under a shaggy coat they are scrawny light weights with no coordination or strength. The trick, if you ever encounter one with an attitude, is to grab em by the horns before they get up any momentum, twist em onto their backs and ice the cu..n.t.
No need to thank me.

--Kaiser-- · 13-08-2012 11:33AM

cowzerp wrote: »

That's down to intelligence, Human's are soft and if it was not down to intelligence to use weapons etc humans would be useless predators.

Firstly, that's a ridiculous point. We are intelligent and we do use tools. May as well ask would a lion be a good predator without teeth or claws.

Secondly, you only need to look at the Olympics to see the extraordinary feats that a human body is capable of

Remmy · 13-08-2012 11:40AM

A black bear. Yep I think I can take a black bear.

PhlegmyMoses · 13-08-2012 11:41AM

I would say a tiger. I'd be smarter, almost as fast and have a pretty good wingspan so could probably keep him at arm's length if I got the jab going.

El Guapo! · 13-08-2012 11:45AM

I wouldn't mind bitch-slapping a penguin tbh.

Cienciano · 13-08-2012 11:50AM

After thinking long and hard about it, there's not many animals of any decent size I could kill with my bare hands. So I'm going for a really fat human, at almost 600kg, this guy:
http://www.ra-re.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Manuel_Uribe.jpg

Donnielighto · 13-08-2012 12:22PM

Ghost Buster wrote: »

A billy goat. They look big and have those big menacing horns but they are pussys. I grew up on a farm and aged ten i could wrestle a full grown billy goat to the ground. Under a shaggy coat they are scrawny light weights with no coordination or strength. The trick, if you ever encounter one with an attitude, is to grab em by the horns before they get up any momentum, twist em onto their backs and ice the cu..n.t.
No need to thank me.

this is true, same story for sheep, any animal with horns is at a disadvantage if you cant get a hold of the horns and twist.

Largest wild animal id be confident of beating.... i'd be pretty confident of taking down a lone wolf or a a deer.

A key thing is that humans dont have a natural cutting or punturcing weap on them so a key part of our tactic would be to avoid getting caught too much and outmanouvering the animal, also our skin isnt as tough as a lot of wild animals. I think id fúck up a baboon as well, use hands as a guard, get it to ground facing down and straggle it from behind while on its back

--Kaiser-- · 13-08-2012 12:28PM

Donnielighto wrote: »

this is true, same story for sheep, any animal with horns is at a disadvantage if you cant get a hold of the horns and twist.

Largest wild animal id be confident of beating.... i'd be pretty confident of taking down a lone wolf or a a deer.

A key thing is that humans dont have a natural cutting or punturcing weap on them so a key part of our tactic would be to avoid getting caught too much and outmanouvering the animal, also our skin isnt as tough as a lot of wild animals. I think id fúck up a baboon as well, use hands as a guard, get it to ground facing down and straggle it from behind while on its back

You think you could take a baboon? They have canines larger than that of a lion, their bite force is about 6,000 lbs per square inch.

As for a wolf....good luck

ScumLord · 13-08-2012 12:32PM

Kolido wrote: »

Surely in a fight w/out weapons, a lion's teeth and claws would not be considered a foriegn object. Would'nt that be like telling the humans not to use their arms?

My point was simply that humans using weapons is as natural as a dog dragging it's arse along the floor.

If your a good walker most people could kill a large herbivore simply by making it run to exhaustion. They'll keep trying to run away from you until they drop down dead.

Biggest animal you could Beat in fight to death.

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