Great moments in school

In TG there was a store room at the back of the class that had all sorts of shíte in it for the metalwork class etc.
Anyway, there were these small heavy beanbag things about the size of your hand and when the teacher left the room we used to think it was great craic to throw them at each other. They were heavy enough and there had been quite a few busted noses over the years.
So we were throwing them around one day when I cracked the quiet lad in the back of the head with one. He stood up and threw it at the speed of a pro baseball player, totally missing me and flying out the door. All we heard was a bang and someone scream in agony. Turns out it was the fat little TG teacher. He took it right in the stomach and was rolling around the floor begging someone to call an ambulance. Nobody did.
It's kinda bad now when I think of it but the whole class went hysterical with laughter.

We had this vice-principal for most of secondary school who we have many funny memories of, but there's one that'll always stick out in my mind.

To get the full impact of the story, I should describe him a bit. In his sixties I'd say, had a really soft, creepy voice, very touchy-feely type. Basically, if ya didn't know better a bit of a pedo! The fact it was an all girls school didn't help matters.

Anyway, at one point in sixth year there were a few robberies, some money taken out of lockers and the likes. This vice of ours came into our class to give the usual lecture, they're very disappointed, they've cctv footage, etc. Despite the fact that they knew who was responsible, he said he'd give the culprits a chance to own up, that he wouldn't name names infront of everyone. This would be fine except for his choice of word to portray this:
"Now, I don't want to finger any girls...publicly."

The door hadn't even closed behind him before the entire class, teacher included, had eruped in laughter that lasted a fair portion of the class. To make matters worse, he went around to the three other classes on at that time giving the exact same speech. Obviously, it received much the same reception.

Most would swear he hadn't a clue, but he was retiring a month later so some of us suspect he knew well what he was up to and just was making the best of his time left

We had a Slovakian girl in our year in 5th year, and naturally one day the subject turned to swear words in Slovakian. She told us the Slovak for "F*ck you!" (Seriem na teba! according to Google Translate, I can't remember if that's what she said, think it was a different dialect or language or something, but I digress...). So in one of our classes later that day, we had great fun saying "Seriem na teba!" to the teacher.

Naturally she got a little pissed off, not know what we were saying, so eventually after one of us said she said "I'LL SERIEM NA TEBA YOU"

Cue the entire class rolling around the place laughing for five minutes.


In first year, we had a completely useless English teacher. One day in class, my biro leaked, and I didn't notice it until it had already destroyed the A4 sheet I had been working on. At the end of the class, when she asked for the sheets to be handed up, I handed up the one covered in ink, and she didn't notice until her hands were completely destroyed.... don't know why I did it tbh....


In religion one day in 4th year I think, we were doing the topic of bullying. We were sitting in a circle and she was going around the circle asking each of us to give a different reason as to why people bullied other people. With each passing person, you'd hear a chorus of "DAMN! That was my one!". When it came to me, I put on a completely straight face and said in the most sing-song voice possible: "Because deep down.... they don't like themselves." Entire room cracks up.


On our Biology field trip in 5th year, we went to a local wooded area. The bus pulled up and we all got off and walked over to the gate. On the ground next the fence was a used condom. One of the lads shouts out "FFS [GIRLS NAME]! WHY DIDN'T YOU CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF!" :pac:

In LC maths a few years ago and a male teacher comes in asking for some volunteers for something random.

Female maths teacher says "sure take all of them, I can go home!"

Male teacher "ah now...are you looking for a free ride?"

He obviously meant it as in an easy day off but she went BRIGHT red and the whole class burst out laughing. He muttered something about being careful how he phrased things and walked straight back out of the room.