Great moments in school

TheKeenMachine · 03-08-2012 05:01PM #1

When I was in first year, we were watching a video in Irish class. On the video, a middle aged man was staring at a teenage girl. Cue one of my classmates "Haha tá sé paedo priest!"
The teacher looked up, paused the video and yelled "STEPHEN!", making the whole class fall silent.
He then looked around at the class, lowered his voice to almost a whisper and said "Is paedo priest é."
Legend!

Bobby Baccala · 03-08-2012 05:14PM

Got into a heated debate with my geography teacher. She refused to accept the fact that Egypt is in Africa.. And she's meant to be a geography teacher. It's beyond me how the fúck she got a job.
It ended in me calling her an ignorant bitch and getting detention and a nice phonecall home.

El Guapo! · 03-08-2012 05:16PM

P4DDY2K11 wrote: »

Got into a heated debate with my geography teacher. She refused to accept the fact that Egypt is in Africa.. And she's meant to be a geography teacher. It's beyond me how the fúck she got a job.
It ended in me calling her an ignorant bitch and getting detention and a nice phonecall home.

How did she refuse to accept it?? Could you not have just shown her a map?

And then smacked her with it.

couldntthink · 03-08-2012 05:17PM

P4DDY2K11 wrote: »

Got into a heated debate with my geography teacher. She refused to accept the fact that Egypt is in Africa.. And she's meant to be a geography teacher. It's beyond me how the fúck she got a job.
It ended in me calling her an ignorant bitch and getting detention and a nice phonecall home.

My Geography "teacher" thought The Vatican waas the capital of Italy. When I explained it was a separate state she said "oh yeah that's right, Milan is the capital". :rolleyes:

mattjack · 03-08-2012 05:18PM

P4DDY2K11 wrote: »

Got into a heated debate with my geography teacher. She refused to accept the fact that Egypt is in Africa.. And she's meant to be a geography teacher. It's beyond me how the fúck she got a job.
It ended in me calling her an ignorant bitch and getting detention and a nice phonecall home.

What are you on about ? Everybody knows Egypt is in the Sahara not Africa.

Crooked Jack · 03-08-2012 05:20PM

Not a specific scenario but those rare moments when everything would sync up perfectly and you would be walking under the stairs at the same time as a group of girls was walking up them at the crucial moment that allowed you a little glimpse of heaven.

Scarinae · 03-08-2012 05:23PM

One time my class was in the library working on a project. One of the guys must have been a bit bored, because he started playing with a fire extinguisher. There was a really loud *BANG* and we all looked up with a start to see the eejit clinging desperately to the fire extinguisher in pure panic while it sprayed all over the big glass windows, the computers, the other students... It was absolutely hilarious, but our teacher and the librarian were not very pleased

mikom · 03-08-2012 05:25PM

P4DDY2K11 wrote: »

Got into a heated debate with my geography teacher. She refused to accept the fact that Egypt is in Africa.. And she's meant to be a geography teacher.

She must have been in denile....

Knex* · 03-08-2012 05:27PM

I quite enjoyed my time in secondary school.

I had this teacher for English for my Leaving Cert, possibly the only teacher I genuinely couldn't stand in my six years in the school. She was one of these muffin top women, too fat for the clothes she was in and the flab would hang out over the sides, and jesus did she have some deluded notions of herself. Also, her classroom always fecking stank from the smell off her. :mad:

She'd constantly scream at people over the smallest of things and pretty much, imo, bullied some of the girls in the class. To top it all off she was atrocious at English, especially when compared to my previous English teacher and the others in the school, and would flog some of their answers as her own.

Anyways, one day she'd been harping on about Diet Coke for the entire 40 minutes and had given us some shite homework to do with writing an ad for Diet Coke. Load of bollocks.

She then, looked outside and noticed it was slightly damp, so decided to cancel the 1st year camogie training that she was meant to be supervising that day. This was a right cnut of a move as it was last class of the day and the 1st years, not allowed phones and being in a country school, would have already arranged for parents to come down and collect them. So with no way of contacting them they either had to wait around till parents showed, or go home on bus and hope that they were home before the parents needlessly drove to the school.

So, and I was fairly pissed off at this stage, she addressed the class saying "I've time now to myself, I really should go to the gym. Quick, someone motivate me"

Up shot my hand as I said, "Miss, they've got vending machines there".

Place erupted

Edit: Sorry for long post.

Galwayguy35 · 03-08-2012 05:28PM

The great moment for me in school was the day I left the place.

El Guapo! · 03-08-2012 05:28PM

mikom wrote: »

She must have been in denile....

naitsirhc · 03-08-2012 05:29PM

Whenever your were Bricking it because you forgot a piece of homework (or just plain didn't do it) and the teacher ends up being sick that day anyways. The relief was brilliant

unknownlegend · 03-08-2012 05:31PM

That day someone let a dog in and it runs through the place in hysteric delight and confusion. Used to be a regular occurrence actually!

Yakult · 03-08-2012 05:32PM

One of our classrooms was a double room with a huge sliding door dividing it into two. One day, the teacher left the room and we all decided it would be funny to go into the the other half so we did it and wrote "Bobby Sands is back" on the blackboard. Each time she left the room we did it. That same day we put Vaseline on the doors and to hear the teachers trying to open them and then realizing theirs something on the doorknob, priceless. We got an earful from the principal that day lol.

Paddycrumlinman · 03-08-2012 05:41PM

In class one day, a lad, who did not give two s hits about school was messing, not sure what he was up to. The Female teacher let a roar at him and proceeded to berate him in front of all the students.

This guy is sitting back with a smirk on his face which is annoying the teacher even more. He turns around to the teacher as cool as you can and said, "Would you every go and ask me piss flaps you stupid bitch" and walked out of the class room. Female teacher was stunned and could not continue the class!

wnolan1992 · 03-08-2012 05:43PM

My Junior Cert Irish teacher had a rather big problem maintaining control of the class, and every day without fail we would end up getting really off topic and she would end up joining in the OT discussions in English.

One day, coming up to the exams, we were meant to be learning essay vocab, when the teacher got deeply engrossed in a discuusion with three or four girls about the latest happenings in Home and Away. After about thirty minutes of this, one girl said: "Eh, Miss? Can we actually get back to this essay at some stage?" at which point the teacher completely loses it and shouts "I DO NOT NEED YOUR HELP TO RUN MY CLASS!", to which the girl replies: "Clearly, you do." :pac:

In Junior Cert science, we were doing nutrition, and how women need 1500 calories and men need 2000 (figures probably wrong but you get the point). The teacher asks "Well why do ye think that is?"

One lad says "Because girls are weaker."
Teacher: "Are they?"
Lad: "Yeah."
Teacher: "Right. Claire, come over here."
He then proceeds to make Claire (strong girl who played football for the school) to arm wrestle the lad who'd said girls were weaker, which she won, leading to much mockery.

In my LC Business class, there were only 2 guys(including me) and about 8 girls. One day, we were in a room that had an Interactive whiteboard at the front with the teachers desk, and a normal board at the back. The teacher wanted us to take down a diagram from the ordinary board, so we all turned around to face the back of the room.

When we'd taken down the diagram, she returned to the front of the class to call out some more notes, but said if we wanted we didn't have to turn around to face her. The 8 girls turned around to face the front, while the two of us guys stayed facing the back. About 5 minutes later, the Vice Principal (who was a scary bastard) walks into the room to talk to the teacher. As he leaves, he stares at us, but says nothing. Once the door closed and he had disappeared from view, the teacher said in a hushed voice: "I've just realised that the only two guys in the class are facing the opposite direction to the rest of ye..."

SEPT 23 1989 · 03-08-2012 05:43PM

Paddycrumlinman wrote: »

In class one day, a lad, who did not give two s hits about school was messing, not sure what he was up to. The Female teacher let a roar at him and proceeded to berate him in front of all the students.

This guy is sitting back with a smirk on his face which is annoying the teacher even more. He turns around to the teacher as cool as you can and said, "Would you every go and ask me piss flaps you stupid bitch" and walked out of the class room. Female teacher was stunned and could not continue the class!

Joe Duffy?

MrJoeSoap · 03-08-2012 05:45PM

If you didn't experience any of the below, you didn't go to Primary School in Ireland:

1. A dog running into the school yard.
2. A student saying "mam" or "dad" instead of "miss" or "sir".
3. A student falling off a chair whilst leaning backwards.
4. Someone coming to school without their schoolbag.
5. An entire class not getting to do PE because of some sort of minor misbehaviour.
6. A school trip to the zoo in torrential rain.

Culleeo · 03-08-2012 05:47PM

I remember there was a girl in my year who was in a wheelchair, she had a really bad attitude problem, it was always "get my books for me, bring me to class, get my journal for me etc" always said with a scowl and never a please or a thank you from her. It started to get on peoples nerves that she had absolutely no manners.
One day, she turned to one of the lads and said "bring me to class", again without a please or a thank you.
The following day, the same again to the same lad, no please again so the lad just said **** this, started rolling her to class and if he did, he took off at speed with the wheelchair, the girl screaming in the chair for him to stop, it may be bad minded but the whole place was in stitches laughing.

Duggy747 · 03-08-2012 05:48PM

Some dirty bastard laid a green shìte in the jacks. That's one everyone remembers, never found the culprit.

We had a guy in our school hold the assembly under siege when he threw bangers down on top of everyone from the balcony.

One of my mates threw a potato, it hit the roof, split and landed on top of the principal's head.

A gutter was blown up with fireworks.

One lad had a fetish for fire alarms and always set them off.

Toilet paper and water made a great form of a projectile to throw at each other.

cocoshovel · 03-08-2012 05:50PM

Scarinae wrote: »

One time my class was in the library working on a project.

Ohh well la di da!

My school was made out of prefabs and didnt even have enough chairs for every student. Nothing like coming into class on a winters morning to discover your table covered in frost!

northernpower · 03-08-2012 05:54PM

Had to be the times in study hall during free class, had a senile wench that used to supervise it and to get out you needed a decent excuse like going to do labs, but you'd then head in to town.

So the room would be full of students from all different years and somewhere along the back someone would start whistling the tune from the great escape, then one by one people would get up and ask to leave with a different excuse, more and more people joining in the whistling, the craic was to see how many we could get out before she copped on

Knex* · 03-08-2012 05:55PM

I just remembered some poor fella, still friends with him to this day, shat his pants in Junior Infants.

The smell was horrific, so bad in fact, that we all got to go out to the playground for the rest of the day. :pac:

Also, we had a computer class in primary school from around 3rd class up. I got banned from using computers for a year for bringing in a copy of Duke Nukem. All the school had was mind numbing "education" (and I use that word lightly) games so it wasn't long until there was a crowd of people around me watching and I got caught

In TY myself and a friend downloaded and distributed gameboy and snes emulators to the year so every free class or computer class was dominated with people playing Pokemon, Mario Kart and Street Fighter. Was a great year

Owryan · 03-08-2012 05:56PM

A chap in my year was in an electric wheelchair as well as being mentally handicapped.

If a class was coming up we wanted to avoid we would get him, bring him to the bottom of the sports field and disconnect his battery . Cue when in class : Miss , **** is stuck in his wheelchair down the football pitch" n off we would go to get him .

Or else he would need help going to the toilets so someone would go with him and while there get answers to whatever test we were doing .

Where To · 03-08-2012 05:56PM

We played soccer in class, basketball in class, rounders in class, any ball game you can think of in class.

Only thing is we never had a ball and played all the above with Tipp-ex.

Solvent Russian roulette.

thebaz · 03-08-2012 05:57PM

I had a tendency to be late for school , anyway one day , which happened to be the first warm sunny day of the year - May time , was 15 minutes late , so decided to skip first class (Irish) with one or 2 latecomers , and enjoy the summer heat , lazying / sunbathing out on the football pitch with a few smokes , our relaxation was broken suddenly by the arrival of a screaming headmaster - To the Office - more detention for thebaz

Jester252 · 03-08-2012 05:58PM

Was in LC Biology and the teacher was talking about testosterone and woman taking testosterone when the girl beside me said so that how hermaphrodites are made. The teacher looked at her and she explained that when a woman takes testosterone she grows a penis. I could not stop laughing so I had to leave the classroom.

Another time in TG a guy found a tomato. Him thinking it was a bouncy ball hopped it off another guys head leaving him with tomato all over his head

mackg · 03-08-2012 05:58PM

JC business class was a bit of a joke. The subject was piss easy and whatever way the classes were divided up ours got a huge share of people who would be more interested in having a laugh than anything else. Out teacher had to put up with a lot of crap and took it fairly well most of the time but some days it did get to her.

One day especially she went off on a huge rant and you could tell she was seething, she started going roaring about how all this time she had been under the impression that she had been teaching teenagers but that she now realised that we weren't teenagers at all, we were 4 year olds. At this point one of the lads in the class stands up, waves his hands above his head and yells SURPRISE!!!.

The whole class erupted laughing, the teacher went absolutely mental. One of my favourite school memories.

wnolan1992 · 03-08-2012 06:01PM

When I was in sixth class, there was a week or two where there'd been a lot of incidents in the school (bullying and just general misbehaviour), so the teachers decided to have an assembly where they called the entire school (which was only about 40 people but whatever) into the hall.

Then then spent the next half hour giving out about the behaviour. towards the end, they started to focus on my class. Now, I was a cheeky bastard in primary school, and I was getting fair pissed off at this stage, because a lot of what they were blaming the sixth class for was stuff that was clearly done by younger kids.

The principal started by saying: "And the sixth class, ye're always hanging around in gangs!"
To which I replied: "Would you prefer if we didn't talk to each other at all sir?"

After getting a rollicking for that, he moved on saying that: "Ye're always hanging around in doorways doing nothing! Why don't ye run around and play some games or something!".
Now, at this point I should point out that they had banned pretty much every game we ever played because people fell and cut themselves open, so I piped up: "What games should we play? You banned Tip the Can, Den to Den, (and a few other games whose names escape me.)", a point which they flat out ignored.

And to crown it off, they said at the end of the rant: "Ye are without a doubt, the worst sixth class to ever come into this school!"
So I responded: "Yeah, I remember ye saying that to my brother's class as well. And ye said it to <name>'s class after he told ye to f*ck off one evening."

So satisfying.

Shame I lost my guts when I went into secondary school though.

On the plus side, on our graduation day, the principal was giving a speech, which included the standard phrase "Ye'll be missed around here, ye're one of the best classes we've ever had." to which I said: "Hey now, three weeks ago we were the worst ever!". Place erupted, and even the teachers laughed at it.

Knex* · 03-08-2012 06:08PM

Jester252 and mackg yer stories have me in stitches. :pac:

I'm chuckling away at the thought of them every few minutes and people in the office are starting to stare

theholyghost · 03-08-2012 06:13PM

Technically not in class but a lad in supervised study lit a black cat banger and threw it out the window, however, it missed the window bounced off the wall and rolled under my desk. I jumped out of my desk and ran up the class as the banger exploded and vibrated the whole pre-fab to its foundations. Cool.

Great moments in school

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