4 stages of a married man or utter tripe?

miec · 12-07-2012 01:10PM #1

I came across this article just now that talks about the four stages that a married man goes through in his marital life. For me it has to be the worst article that I have read (and I've read some clangers in my time). I don't agree with anything it says as it is too generic but the basic premise of it is that when a man gets married he goes through four phrases:

1) Theatrical - he is totally into being married and is committed (a sort of honeymoon phrase)

2) Troubled times - he resents the lack of freedom and starts cheating or acts in hurtful ways because to quote them he sees the wife as 'taking away his freedom'. The article states that the marriage usually breaks down at this point (whilst making an indirect reference that the man is a bastard and the poor wife is a victim which as a woman makes me screaming mad, it does not take into account the nuances of relationships)

3) Flight from hen house (what the ????) - this section opens with "Frequently a doubtful victory in this battle falls to women’s share" - what does that mean? This is dreadful terminology - it equates marriage with battle. It goes on to say that the man leaves, mostly for a new woman, occasionally they stay and onto stage 4) Understanding - it now sanctimoniously states that the man is old and grey and understands that the wife is a good one after all and hangs around.

Jesus wept but this article is awful tripe and feeds into the negative stereotypes of men, women and marriage. It sets men against women and is part of a woman's information portal site. You can't comment on the site but if I could I would have said the above.

What do others think, tripe or valid?

Sauve · 12-07-2012 01:29PM

That article is a pile of trolling nonsense.

daenerysstormborn3 · 12-07-2012 01:29PM

Tripe. How about, all men are individuals and are therefore different and cannot be analysed as a group? I'm sure the above stages could be applied to some men but marriage didn't make them that way, that's just the way they are.

Jenneke87 · 12-07-2012 01:33PM

So, according to this article a man is before the marriage not able to realise that their marriage will lead to a different life and that the woman he married is the right one for him(otherwise you shouldnt have gotten married).

And is this article seriously suggesting that a husband who cheats and treats his wife with little respect is just "going through a phase" and that the wife in question should just wait patiently till he has finally figured out that he said "yes" himself. God help who-ever wrote this, I hope her own marriage wasnt the inspiration for this piece of garbage.

shopaholic01 · 12-07-2012 01:54PM

It's written in a very condescending manner, but I think both men and women can have those feelings in a long term relationship/marriage.

LittleBook · 12-07-2012 01:58PM

miec wrote: »

For me it has to be the worst article that I have read (and I've read some clangers in my time).

Then you haven't gone through that site thoroughly enough, there's worse piles of steaming horseshít in there. I doubt English is the first language of some of the contributors.

Actually I find most of that website to be oddly unsettling.

analucija · 12-07-2012 03:01PM

Sometimes I think this stuff is more insulting to women than men though. Are we really supposed to be complete idiots to swallow that kind of tripe?

Wibbs · 12-07-2012 03:05PM

Sauve wrote: »

That article is a pile of trolling nonsense.

Daft too. The "stages" if they existed would depend on so many factors, one being how long the pre marriage relationship lasted. In say Ireland where engagements can last for years on top of years of boyfriend/girlfriend status the "honeymoon" period would be long past. Maybe in say the US where people have a tendency to marry far faster it might have some impact, but even still highly doubtful.

Yea S your trolling nonsense is a better reply that covers it.

Fluorescence · 12-07-2012 03:07PM

Articles like this one make me feel incredibly sorry for the poor miser who wrote them. Their life must be a steaming pile of poo, and this is their attempt to normalise it. Dear lord.

miec · 13-07-2012 03:26PM

Then you haven't gone through that site thoroughly enough, there's worse piles of steaming horseshít in there. I doubt English is the first language of some of the contributors.

Lol, I'm glad I didn't then. I was googling something else and came across it, read it and immediately vented my spleen here on good old boards. But on a more serious note it is scary what is being bandied about and those types of columns are damaging to relationships because you'll have the woman waiting for the next stage and keeps them in victim mode and men as the perpetrators / not to be trusted category.

OakeyDokey · 13-07-2012 04:46PM

Whatever person believes this kind of crap I feel sorry for them.

Merkin · 13-07-2012 07:18PM

Total and utter codswallop. God help the poor people who believe this kind of numptyness.

christmas2012 · 13-07-2012 08:49PM

Total tripe,a page filler at best,not all men are this shallow and negative and me me me perspective..(i hope)

homemadecider · 14-07-2012 10:51PM

To answer your question: utter tripe.

Rented Mule · 17-07-2012 03:57PM

It's from a website called 'womanknows.com' and spouts some religious bull**** at the end.

That's all I needed to read. Some right-wing 'soccer mom' has been done wrong, but Jebus has shown him the error of his ways.

Ickle Magoo · 17-07-2012 04:04PM

Ok - as everyone agrees it's utter tripe and as a result no discussion is being generated whatsoever, I'm going to lock this thread. :cool:

4 stages of a married man or utter tripe?

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