Lame or embarrassing things you fapped to before you had internet porn

Sleepy · 05-07-2012 04:41PM

Shoulda just read the thing, Jilly Cooper is trashy porn. Kinda like the 80's version of this shades of gray crap all the sheep are reading now...

Musiconomist · 05-07-2012 05:27PM

7 of 9

Scanlas The 2nd · 05-07-2012 08:05PM

Aerobics Oz style. But only when they wore their tight knee length leggings.

Conall Cernach · 06-07-2012 01:01PM

dclane wrote: »

Used to also fap to Steffi Graf

Was that when Gabriella Sabatini had already been knocked out?

Stinicker · 06-07-2012 05:13PM

Baywatch

DazMarz · 06-07-2012 07:44PM

I was a horny little bollix... well, not was, tbf... Started destroying myself at around the age of 11 or so. To the following:

-Eurotrash
-Sexcetera
-The free-views on the porno channels in the Sky 900+ channels
-Page 3 (obligatory, methinks)
-pretty much any mainsteam film where there was a hint of anything sexual.
-free areas on internet porno sites (even the ones where all the naughty bits are blurred/blacked-out)

to my utter amazement, I've never been caught dancing with myself by anyone (tho there have been some close calls sometimes).

John Doe1 · 06-07-2012 07:46PM

The kays catalogue:o

coonecb1 · 06-07-2012 08:02PM

Used to just visualise our busty female German teacher in school. Sure, she may have been middle aged, but damnit when you're in an all-boys school you have to work with the thought of the best looking teacher

Also Peg Bundy in Married with Children, the original MILF before the term MILF even existed.

Cosmopolitan magazine was a pure treasure trove in those days, still is if you ask me.....my first fap was over an Eve Herzegovina Wonderbra ad....

Ah the memories....

ArtyM · 06-07-2012 08:02PM

dclane wrote: »

Spent two weeks in my cousins' house in Mayo in the early 90's. Absolutley no access to porn or my stash which I left at home. The only thing I could find was the Jilly Cooper "The Riders" book in my aunts room left beside her bed.

Fapped away looking at that cover for two weeks lying in the upstairs bathroom floor till I got back to my stash.

Attachment not found.

You do know that that was actually a man in those riding trousers?
They revealed that many years later.
Sorry!

anthonyos · 06-07-2012 08:06PM

flash the gash

Blondini · 06-07-2012 08:14PM

dclane wrote: »

Used to also fap to Steffi Graf

Tennis **** will never go out of fashion ..

pragmatic1 · 06-07-2012 08:15PM

salonfire wrote: »

I once knocked one out to Rita, Bob and Sue Too

My first porno :cool:

Yep. Same as meself.

BOHtox · 07-07-2012 03:41AM

later12 wrote: »

I have a heap of sisters so there was always lots of **** material around the house from the likes of Vogue and Sugar and and other magazines.

Of course, Shannon Reed (Isla Fisher) from home and Away was always worth a go too. The big sexy lesbian.

Thankfully, the internet soon came along and I was able to download images (sometimes GIFs) onto disks named "Homework" which had curiously little to do with school at all.

Careful now!

LH Pathe · 07-07-2012 03:50AM

Still can't.. resist... the compulsion to leave gaping holes in newspapers where Naomi Campbell once resided.

Acacia · 10-07-2012 11:32PM

Demi Moore. Striptease. Nuff said.

2ndcoming · 10-07-2012 11:40PM

Miss July 1996 robbed from the Wurth calendar in my oul lad's garage.

I waited til August to avoid any embarassing questions

Cee-Jay-Cee · 11-07-2012 12:00AM

I had the Creme de la Creme of porn back in the 80s... My dads collection of practical photography, loads of boobs and full frontal shots.

Jack Max · 21-02-2015 01:37AM

The cartoon illustration of a vageen in my inter cert science book. Tee hee!

LaVail · 21-02-2015 02:07AM

Treasa Lowe

Mr. CooL ICE · 21-02-2015 02:20AM

Jack Max wrote: »

The cartoon illustration of a vageen in my inter cert science book. Tee hee!

I'd love to know what you were searching for to end up in this thread

the evasion_kid · 21-02-2015 02:21AM

The pictures of women on the old tennents lager cans

YFlyer · 21-02-2015 02:24AM

Zombie thread. The pages are stuck together.

JupiterKid · 21-02-2015 02:25AM

The underwear section of Kay's catalogue.

H&E magazines.

Yurt2 · 21-02-2015 02:26AM

Velcro Girl on 2phat, hot diggidy she was fine.

djflawless · 21-02-2015 02:27AM

That tatu song, all the things in my head.
And the red haired 1 from who framed Roget rabbit..
Helped me thru puberty...

pollyannawins · 21-02-2015 02:35AM

a tree roughly in the shape of a woman, a seat recently vacated by a lady, a scratch and smell insert from a magazine, a pair of oven mitts, a audio recording of a woman narrating a 19th century novel, erotically charged cloud formations in the upper atmosphere

coopdog85 · 21-02-2015 02:47AM

pollyannawins wrote: »

a tree roughly in the shape of a woman, a seat recently vacated by a lady, a scratch and smell insert from a magazine, a pair of oven mitts, a audio recording of a woman narrating a 19th century novel, erotically charged cloud formations in the upper atmosphere

The last line put me on the floor!

WoollyRedHat · 21-02-2015 04:21AM

pollyannawins wrote: »

a tree roughly in the shape of a woman, a seat recently vacated by a lady, a scratch and smell insert from a magazine, a pair of oven mitts, a audio recording of a woman narrating a 19th century novel, erotically charged cloud formations in the upper atmosphere

The Cumulonimbus ? Yeah I get that but I prefer the Cumulus myself, good bit lower, nice and dangly.

Just the thought of those clouds building up with precipation makes me wet.

FatherTed · 21-02-2015 04:44AM

Note sure if th4se are mentioned:

- Pictures of African natives in our encyclopedia
- my parent's 70's K-Tel record covers

eternal · 21-02-2015 04:49AM

I used to do it to the lines converging in the swirls of the carpet and the deep, evocative sweeps of the plush velveteen wallpaper.

Lame or embarrassing things you fapped to before you had internet porn

Comments